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“She Thinks We’ll Cave”: Bratty Teen Insults Her Friend, Parents Cancel Her Sweet 16 In Return
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“She Thinks We’ll Cave”: Bratty Teen Insults Her Friend, Parents Cancel Her Sweet 16 In Return

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Parents have the duty, responsibility, and joy of teaching their children important life lessons. As magical and wonderful as that might sound, reality can mean a certain amount of conflict, as teenagers, in particular, might have an agenda of their own.

One mom asked the internet for advice after her daughter made fun of a poorer friend for getting a gift from a thrift store. Deciding that this would be a perfect lesson in humility, the parents made her an ultimatum, apologize to the friend or no sweet 16 party. The daughter was outraged and even the grandparents got involved as the family drama escalated.

A mom refused to host her daughter’s sweet 16 party after she insulted her friend over a cheaper gift

Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: freestocks (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Dev Asangbam (not the actual photo)

Parenting sometimes means taking actions that upset your children for their own good

OP’s daughter demonstrates a certain cunning when approaching the situation. She knows her parent’s ultimatum, so she instead ignores it and keeps on trucking with her plan, perhaps hoping that, as OP wrote, they would cave and she would just present them with a fait accompli. Of course, like many teens, she has also underestimated her parent’s resolve, memory, and general mental will and immediately drama ensues when it becomes clear that they will not cave and that she will be out of a birthday party.

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Ultimately, what the parents are doing is completely correct, the daughter misbehaved, they corrected her behavior and made a deal, apologize, and then we can talk about a party. She ignored this deal, hoping that, presumably, bad vibes and mental pressure would force them to act. Of course, most adults are a lot tougher than kids and generally won’t collapse just because the daughter is refusing to see reality. This is a pretty childish trait, but it’s one many kids have to work through to become adults. Children have a tendency to believe that if they just tell themselves something enough, it will magically become true. There is a certain logic to this idea. Most of the speech a child learns growing up is from a parent, where, as far as they know, this is true. A parent says something and it tends to happen. So they may turn this idea inward and just keep repeating an idea, as this action, like a mantra, might calm them down.

Entitlement is a horrible trait that OP is right in trying to prevent

However, this trait tends to disappear by the early teens, so OP’s daughter still has a way to go when it comes to maturing. Her parents also made a shrewd decision to “ban” a birthday party. First, her friend was going to have a sweet sixteen party and, unfortunately, many teens are susceptible to the constant comparison of themselves to their peers. OP mentions that in their culture, the sweet sixteen isn’t really a common practice as an alternative to a “normal” birthday, but this would only intensify the effectiveness of the punishment. In general, birthdays are also emotionally significant events for most kids and teens. Before adulthood, people generally measure themselves as a certain age until they are an adult. Each birthday is one step closer, they believe, to being a real person. Younger children attach specific significance to a party, often believing that it is literally what causes them to be a year older.

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It’s unlikely that OP’s daughter actually believes this specific thing, rather, she has that unfortunate combination of entitlement and pride that prevents her from actually “debasing” herself and apologizing for downright terrible behavior. Entitlement is an outright bad trait that her parents are absolutely correct in trying to root out. It’s the basis of the “Karens” that are mocked on the internet daily, a lead-in to a lot of antisocial behavior. Sometimes it’s even an indicator of a personality disorder, although the root causes of entitlement are not that well explored. While OP’s kid might be pretty unhappy with the whole situation, the parents are doing the entire world a favor by showing that actions have consequences and that it’s not ok to just make fun of people for being poor, particularly if you are a literal child who does not have your own money.

Many readers applauded the parent’s decision and OP gave some extra details

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OP also wrote a follow-up to thank the readers

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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The Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA That girl needs a reality check. I hope the parents stick to their guns. ..... ....... When I was in elementary school I received a cheap bracelet as a Christmas gift from a girl in my class. I was shocked. It looked like it came out of a bubble gum machine. I thanked her but when I got home I complained to my mom who told the girls family has no money for gifts for their children let alone a classmate. I still have the bracelt. It is a reminder that anyone could be in my friends shoes.

Irishwoman abroad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've just reminded me of something my son did once that made me so proud of him, and it was actually my aunt who told me about it. One year we threw a birthday party for him at home while my mum and aunt were visiting - I was on a ver limited budget, so it was basically a nice party meal with all the food kids love, an hour or so down in the playground right on our street, then back upstairs for cake and presents. One boy turned up late and obviously had not been able to buy a gift as he handed my son a plastic bag with a scruffy looking, well-used football in it. Well, fair play to him, he acted like the ball was the best gift ever, and even took it down to play with after the cake as they still had time for more games. The thing is, he knew this kid's parents had very little money (even his clothes were scruffy too), so my aunt saw him at the end of the party giving the ball back to the other boy. She questioned him afterwards, hoping he hadn't been rude. He told her he knew this was the boy's favourite thing, so he told him he felt bad because he had a ball he shared with his brother, so how about if the other boy looked after the ball for him, and they shared it in school? It was just the right way to save the other boy's pride, while returning his ball. Great diplomacy from a 10-yo! Of course, we knew he actually had his own brand new football so he wasn't being totally angelic, but it was the way he made sure not to hurt the boy that really touched us.

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KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my daughter had done this you bet I’d be doing the same. Be a rude little brat and you get nothing. Still stands all these years later now that she’s an adult and oooh boy have I copped some hate from her if she behaves rudely and doesn’t get what she wants, but she does learn

Brenda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom would have dragged my a$$ to that girl's house and made me apologize immediately! And that's after she kicked my behind! Would have done the same to my kids, too! Hang tough! Better she learn this now than later. NTA

Marie Bellwood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was the same, "you go get in s**t from the other parent too and see how mean you think I am! "

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The Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA That girl needs a reality check. I hope the parents stick to their guns. ..... ....... When I was in elementary school I received a cheap bracelet as a Christmas gift from a girl in my class. I was shocked. It looked like it came out of a bubble gum machine. I thanked her but when I got home I complained to my mom who told the girls family has no money for gifts for their children let alone a classmate. I still have the bracelt. It is a reminder that anyone could be in my friends shoes.

Irishwoman abroad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've just reminded me of something my son did once that made me so proud of him, and it was actually my aunt who told me about it. One year we threw a birthday party for him at home while my mum and aunt were visiting - I was on a ver limited budget, so it was basically a nice party meal with all the food kids love, an hour or so down in the playground right on our street, then back upstairs for cake and presents. One boy turned up late and obviously had not been able to buy a gift as he handed my son a plastic bag with a scruffy looking, well-used football in it. Well, fair play to him, he acted like the ball was the best gift ever, and even took it down to play with after the cake as they still had time for more games. The thing is, he knew this kid's parents had very little money (even his clothes were scruffy too), so my aunt saw him at the end of the party giving the ball back to the other boy. She questioned him afterwards, hoping he hadn't been rude. He told her he knew this was the boy's favourite thing, so he told him he felt bad because he had a ball he shared with his brother, so how about if the other boy looked after the ball for him, and they shared it in school? It was just the right way to save the other boy's pride, while returning his ball. Great diplomacy from a 10-yo! Of course, we knew he actually had his own brand new football so he wasn't being totally angelic, but it was the way he made sure not to hurt the boy that really touched us.

Load More Replies...
KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my daughter had done this you bet I’d be doing the same. Be a rude little brat and you get nothing. Still stands all these years later now that she’s an adult and oooh boy have I copped some hate from her if she behaves rudely and doesn’t get what she wants, but she does learn

Brenda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom would have dragged my a$$ to that girl's house and made me apologize immediately! And that's after she kicked my behind! Would have done the same to my kids, too! Hang tough! Better she learn this now than later. NTA

Marie Bellwood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was the same, "you go get in s**t from the other parent too and see how mean you think I am! "

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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