“I Just Feel Exhausted”: Woman’s Mulling Over Canceling Xmas Trip After Zero Help From Family
Everyone loves a good trip abroad; the new experiences, cultural immersion, escape from routine, and no obligations – absolutely delectable. However, there’s this one tiny thing that is just not as fun, and that’s the planning part.
This Redditor, for instance, got so fed up with her husband and his brother not acknowledging her efforts that she’s now contemplating canceling their grand 3-week Christmas getaway to Italy.
More info: Reddit
The original poster has always been in charge of planning things, while her husband has taken care of household chores
Image credits: Glenn Carstens-Peters (not the actual photo)
Eventually, she began feeling unappreciated and raised the issue with her spouse and their frequent travel companion – his brother
Image credits: Cristina Gottardi (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image source: u/Emotional-Ad3352
A 33-year-old who not only complained a lot but also never bothered to help or say “thank you”
“WIBTA for canceling Christmas? I (31F) am tired of planning vacations for my ungrateful husband (33M) and his twin” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if it’d be a jerk move to cancel an upcoming Xmas trip to Italy due to her husband and his brother’s lack of help and appreciation. The post managed to garner over 10K upvotes as well as 3.5K comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to the Tourism Academy, a global leader in training and professional development for the tourism industry, “Americans take 93 million international outbound trips each year”?
Now, imagine how many of those trips get planned by one person single-handedly! Sure, some folks enjoy planning because they’re good at it or because they simply enjoy taking control and being prepared; however, for most, it’s a pretty taxing job.
Checking the entry requirements and ensuring the validity of everyone’s passports, finding the best itinerary options and booking a stay, sorting out travel insurance, dealing with finances, creating daily schedules with random educational and leisure activities – the list can go on and on.
Besides, at times, when you do something out of goodwill, or even because you like it, people tend to falsely believe that just because you’re not actively asking for help, you don’t need it and/or you won’t appreciate it, which can also then progress into bigger trouble, where they start to take advantage – pretty much just like the original poster’s husband and his twin.
I mean, chances are the majority of you know exactly what it’s like to have people not appreciate your hard efforts. It sucks, and you begin to lose all the excitement – however, despite how cliché it sounds, there isn’t a better remedy than open and honest communication!
The man didn’t take her concern seriously, which prompted her to think about canceling their upcoming Xmas trip to Italy
Image credits: Philip Myrtorp (not the actual photo)
The thing is, though, u/Emotional-Ad3352 had already tried communicating the issue to her husband, but instead of discussing it like grown adults, the man decided to disregard his beloved partner’s feelings and cuss her out.
But let’s rewind!
The OP is a big planner and has been in charge of many vacays and getaways. She’d ask her spouse for help with some trivial things like finding a ride – however, the guy would usually ignore the task until the very last moment or would make a mistake.
The man also has a sibling – in fact, it’s not just a sibling but a whole twin – who shares the same mentality, and despite being their frequent travel companion, just like the hubby, also is notorious for not helping out or saying a simple “thanks.”
Naturally, when the Redditor finally reached her boiling point and realized that her close ones did not recognize her hard work, she started debating canceling their upcoming Xmas trip abroad to Italy that, you guessed it, she also planned alone.
So, Pandas, what do you reckon?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
If my partner tells me to go f myself I'd go on a solo trip planning my divorce
Yup. My ex texted me that once. Sadly, I didn't check my phone until the next morning but, once I did, that was it.
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I'm really sorry for you, but to be honest, a man with a highly paid job and unable to gauge his wife's needs and respond to her requests? And tell her to you-know-what herself? Sweetie, you're not seeing things clearly. They both give you just enough crumbs not to starve, that's all. You're near exhaustion and your husband not only just looks on but actively contributes to it. You are a highly organised person, you're able to analyse situations. Take a step back and look at this situation from the outside and then decide if this is what you want, keeping in mind that having children comes with a Pandora's box all of its own.
Well, given his go to threat is that she can't come to thanksgiving where his mum clearly does everything (OP takes advantage of that too, it's her one chance to relax), it's not hard to see how he and twin became like this, is it? Poor MIL, everyone taking advantage of her and even OP can't see the hypocrisy.
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If my partner tells me to go f myself I'd go on a solo trip planning my divorce
Yup. My ex texted me that once. Sadly, I didn't check my phone until the next morning but, once I did, that was it.
Load More Replies... I'm really sorry for you, but to be honest, a man with a highly paid job and unable to gauge his wife's needs and respond to her requests? And tell her to you-know-what herself? Sweetie, you're not seeing things clearly. They both give you just enough crumbs not to starve, that's all. You're near exhaustion and your husband not only just looks on but actively contributes to it. You are a highly organised person, you're able to analyse situations. Take a step back and look at this situation from the outside and then decide if this is what you want, keeping in mind that having children comes with a Pandora's box all of its own.
Well, given his go to threat is that she can't come to thanksgiving where his mum clearly does everything (OP takes advantage of that too, it's her one chance to relax), it's not hard to see how he and twin became like this, is it? Poor MIL, everyone taking advantage of her and even OP can't see the hypocrisy.
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