Many folks have the thankless task of having to deal with their in-laws every now and then. This can range from the usual unpleasant personalities, to passive aggression and often truly delusional entitlement. But sometimes someone just goes a little too far and makes a tactical error worth exploiting.

A woman asked if she went too far when she called out her rude and dismissive brother in law when he started making disparaging comments about her finishing college. We reached out to the woman who posted the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Some in-laws are nicer than others

Image credits: Mavis Santana / pexels (not the actual photo)

But one woman was fed up with her rude BIL and managed to strike a nerve

Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Teona Swift / pexels (not the actual photo)

Later, she shared a small update

Image credits: archnice

Insecure people often love putting others down

While most in-law “horror stories” tend to focus on the parents, often somewhat unfairly the mother-in-law, it’s always good to remember that anyone can be a horrible or rude person. Unfortunately, we do tend to have to spend more time with our in-laws than we might prefer, so you really can’t escape it. For example, being dismissive of someone’s achievements is the sort of unpleasant behavior one can find in their friend group.

Some people are just jealous or have a nearly compulsive need to put things down so as to not feel as bad about their own lack of accomplishments. This is pretty nasty behavior, but often people will “mask” it as just some sort of “criticism,” for example, as this BIL attempted to do, saying that “it’s not a big deal.”

One can note how he is presenting himself as “just a passive observer” and not acting like he is trying to make her feel bad just to fill a hole in his heart. This is perhaps speculation, but anyone who has been around these sorts of people long enough will recognize the immediate dismissal of anyone’s achievements or positive traits.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

If you insult people, you best be ready for them to strike back

However, either due to just plain dumbness or a tactical miscalculation, he set himself up for failure by diminishing something he gave up within a year. There is no shame in giving up on college or university, it’s truly not for everyone, but acting as if it’s easy for everyone when it’s not easy for you is an extreme case of humility at best and a real lack of foresight at worst.

Some family members (and a few of the YTA comments, which can be found below) called her out, but it’s worth noting that she hardly “started” this argument. What she said can be construed as cruel, but she was just defending herself. After all, common social decency would be to smile and nod, even if you agree with the BIL. This is a family gathering, not a space to suddenly debate higher education.

Similarly, she hardly “insulted” him, she simply asked a question about why he didn’t manage to finish more than a year. Fortunately, her partner did have her back. At the very least, this was perhaps not the worst family experience out there. Very often in-law drama spirals out of control because someone is utterly unwilling to criticize their family or protect their significant other from their words and actions.

Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)

Most thought she did the right thing

A few thought it was maybe too far

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