It’s no secret that babies are notorious for creating food messes left and right. Especially when stressed-out parents are trying to feed them in a highchair out in public, whether that’s in a nice restaurant or a child-friendly establishment.

While all messes can be cleaned, the debate about who is responsible for sweeping up the bites the child plops on the floor is a never-ending one. And one story on the British parenting forum Mumsnet exemplifies this perfectly.

Recently, a new mom sparked a heated debate after sharing that a cafe manager handed her a dustpan and brush to clear up a few bits her little one left on the floor. As the “torn” parent detailed in the post, the place advertised itself as a family-friendly cafe, but clearly didn’t like what her “screaming overtired baby” had left them. So continue scrolling to find out what happened and read on for the divided opinions fellow Mumsnet users expressed down below. Then be sure to decide where you land on the matter and weigh in on the discussion in the comments!

Recently, a mom wondered if the staff at a “family-friendly cafe” were unreasonable for asking her to clean her baby’s mess

Image credits: Harry Grout (not the actual photo)

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: goodmorningsunny

For new parents, bringing their little ones to a cafe or a restaurant can be a daunting experience. And a 2019 survey conducted by Caterer.com confirms this, as it found that over half of new moms and dads research thoroughly online to ensure their chosen restaurant is child friendly. What’s more, this group of parents is the most conscious of their kids’ impact on other diners: 45% reported feeling pressure for their little ones to behave.

Unfortunately, there’s a slight disparity in how the restaurants and parents see the family dining experience. While 92% of restaurants viewed their establishment as “family-friendly”, 67% of parents surveyed thought restaurants need to accommodate families better. In fact, two out of five parents said they have left a restaurant because it lacked basic family facilities.

But the topic of who’s responsible for cleaning up after little babies at dining establishments is still divisive, and it keeps resurfacing on the internet in some form or another. So to gain more insight into how parents feel when dining out with their little ones, as well as how to handle these situations better, we reached out to Olivia Edwards, The Positive Parent Coach.

According to her, going to a restaurant or a cafe with kids can be stressful for several reasons. “Firstly, if you’ve booked somewhere you are always conscious that you have a specific time to be there, which is always tricky when you have children because they are on their own time schedule,” the founder of Raising Positive People told Bored Panda.

“Secondly, lots of parents worry about what other people in the restaurant might think of them. They fear that their child’s behavior is a direct reflection of who they are as a parent and a person,” Edwards continued. This can add additional pressure and create tension as parents feel they need to show model behavior.

However, Edwards added that children often can’t be controlled. “They are their own people and we can only role model and lay out expectations, we can’t predict how they will behave or force them into behaving in certain ways.”

“I feel society generally places unrealistic expectations on parents and children and so we compare ourselves to others (often through rose-tinted glasses) and spend a lot of time feeling like a failure or simply not good enough,” the coach added. “This isn’t true at all and we should all practice looking inwards rather than outwards and having compassion and kindness for ourselves.”

As young kids are still learning the art of self-control and etiquette, scenarios of dining out often come as a challenge. But it’s important to remember that these experiences are important for the little ones who tend to absorb new experiences like sponges. The more food they taste and new places they discover, the more they learn about their surroundings, and consequently, the world around them.

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But how should parents react when their kid is making an enormous mess at a restaurant? According to coach Edwards, the answer to how all parties should handle the situation lies in the setting. “This is a very personal decision, but I would behave in the same way with my children as I would if dining alone,” she said.

“If I spill things, or there are chunks of food on the floor or across the table, I would always try to tidy this.” Edwards also makes sure that the cutlery and used napkins are on the plate so she could help the employee clear away. “I want to role model to my children being considerate of others.”

However, the coach wouldn’t start sweeping the floor. “I suppose it isn’t a black-and-white situation in that each restaurant will be slightly different. But if they are marketed as a family-friendly place, they should expect a degree of mess.”

For parents finding themselves in these situations, Edwards advised to always pick up any larger bits you see lying around or at least offer to do so, “if that feels right to you.”

“If at any point you feel you are being made to do something you are uncomfortable with, I would try to calmly say so. Perhaps make a note not to visit that restaurant again if you feel the way you are treated isn’t how you would like to be.”

“We are all human and sometimes staff have had a bad day and forget that families are only human too, so however you respond, I hope we can all do it with a little kindness,” Edwards concluded.

The story sparked a heated discussion in the comments. Many readers criticized the mom and said that parents should always tidy up after their kids

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While others defended the woman and noted it was rude of the employee to hand out cleaning tools to a paying customer

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