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37YO Single Dad Finds The Perfect Home And Buys It, GF Is Upset As He Didn’t Consult Her Beforehand
Ah, the early days of a relationship… that head-over-heels, butterflies in your stomach stage, where everything feels fresh and exciting. You’re still learning each other’s quirks, like who hogs the blanket or whose go-to coffee order sounds more like a dessert. But somehow between all those fun dates and endless texting, one question pops up: how much say does your new partner get in your big life decisions?
For one Redditor, buying his dream house seemed like a no-brainer – perfect location, great price, and an easy win for his family. But his girlfriend was not so thrilled about it.
More info: Reddit
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The early days of dating are like a road trip—you’re both in the car, but you’re still figuring out the best route
Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One single dad bought his dream home for his family, but his girlfriend of 4 months was upset because he didn’t consult her before signing the papers
Image credits: Jakub Żerdzicki / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The man had been house hunting for a long time and, when the perfect home hit the market, he jumped on it without a second thought, but his girlfriend was not thrilled
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man’s sister says his girlfriend, being 32 years old, is probably dreaming about a family and raising her kids in that home, and feels excluded for not being consulted
Image credits: Swimming-Age-2944
“I feel that it is a little premature to consult my girlfriend of 4 months before buying a home”: the man asks if he’s wrong for purchasing a house without talking to his girlfriend
The OP (original poster) is a single dad with 2 teenage boys, and he’s been casually dating his 32-year-old girlfriend for most of the year. Exclusivity only became a thing 4 months ago, so it’s still pretty early days. And while his girlfriend has been open about wanting kids someday, the OP made it clear that parenthood would be at least a couple of years down the road. So far, so good.
Here’s where it gets tricky. The OP has been house hunting for a while because his current home just isn’t cutting it. His job is a brutal 30-minute commute, and the boys’ school? A dreaded 45-minute ride away. So, when the unicorn of houses (perfect location, perfect price) appeared out of nowhere, he jumped on it, with a same-day offer, deal-sealed kind of jumping. I must say, I respect the hustle.
But when he shared the good news with his girlfriend, she wasn’t exactly cracking open the bubbly. Instead, she hit him with a “Why didn’t you consult me before?” The OP explained that he’d been house hunting long before they got together and, realistically, good houses vanish faster than free samples at a supermarket. Still, she wasn’t convinced and felt hurt that she hadn’t been included.
The OP’s sister came through with a perspective check. She pointed out that, at 32, his girlfriend might be looking at life through a long-term lens. It’s normal to envision the house where your future kids might one day make pillow forts and spill juice on the carpet. Sure, buying a house is a big deal, but is it realistic to think someone will pause their home-buying dreams to seek input from a partner they’re still getting to know?
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In a relationship, 4 months is generally the honeymoon phase, aka the euphoric stage, as the pros call it, when even your partner’s questionable music taste is endearing. This lovey-dovey stage can stick around for anywhere between six months to two years, and it’s all powered by that sweet dopamine rush.
You’re constantly texting, planning cute dates, and giggling at inside jokes no one else finds funny. Everything feels easy because, well, you’re both on your best behavior. But big decisions like buying a house are not usually part of the honeymoon manual.
Love is great and all, but so is avoiding a 45-minute school run every day. So, why did the OP’s girlfriend feel excluded? Was she upset because she sees this relationship as something serious? Whatever the case, this is the perfect time for a good old heart-to-heart.
Talking about the future in a relationship can be as awkward as your mom asking if you’re still “seeing someone”. Experts say that dropping words like “kids”, “marriage” and “moving in together” too early in a relationship might make your partner uncomfortable.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. The key is open, honest communication. If you’re not sure where you both stand, start small. Ask questions like, “Where do you see yourself in a few years?” or “What’s important to you long-term?” This chat should be less about locking things down immediately and more about understanding each other’s goals.
So, is the OP the villain for snagging his dream home without a heads-up? You tell me! The comment section is open for business.
Netizens side with the dad, saying he is not a jerk for buying a home without consulting his girlfriend, since he has been house hunting longer than he has been dating the woman
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What do you think ?
Jane No Dough 1 day ago
4 months? Her questions aren't even worthy of a response. Just shut that line of questioning down. If absolutely necessary, a "We're so not there yet" would suffice.
Parmeisan 1 day ago (edited)
In her defense, it's actually 11-12 months, just 4 months exclusive. I think that changes things quite a bit. Not that she should have a say, but I can understand being surprised it happened so fast.
Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking 1 day ago
She's being terribly presumptuous given the short duration of the relationship. I'd be extremely put off by her attitude, and consider it a deal-breaker, not for this incident in itself, but for its deeper implications for issues in terms of moral compass and self control (i.e. you know it's not yours, so have enough self control not to throw a strop just because you think this is your one chance in life to grab it for yourself).
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 hours ago
For sure, she has unrealistic expectations about making her a part of a long term decision. He says they weren’t exclusive for eight months or so but he may have been the only person seeing other people, so maybe even though she was free to, she didn’t giving her a feeling of emotional investment he doesn’t share. Honestly, if it took him eight months to agree to exclusivity he was keeping his options open and she would do well to do the “he is clearly less invested “ math there. He is not in the wrong, at all. They are different pages about the importance of the relationship and she should probably move on.
Load More Replies... Gwyn 1 day ago
He doesn't say if they had talked about getting engaged or married. He said if they have kids it would be at least a couple of years. It just doesn't sound serious enough to involve her in the decision. He's a single Dad of two, and it's hard to raise children on your own, he probably needed to make this change whether or not she approved anyway. NTA
Jane No Dough 1 day ago
4 months? Her questions aren't even worthy of a response. Just shut that line of questioning down. If absolutely necessary, a "We're so not there yet" would suffice.
Parmeisan 1 day ago (edited)
In her defense, it's actually 11-12 months, just 4 months exclusive. I think that changes things quite a bit. Not that she should have a say, but I can understand being surprised it happened so fast.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 1 day ago
She's being terribly presumptuous given the short duration of the relationship. I'd be extremely put off by her attitude, and consider it a deal-breaker, not for this incident in itself, but for its deeper implications for issues in terms of moral compass and self control (i.e. you know it's not yours, so have enough self control not to throw a strop just because you think this is your one chance in life to grab it for yourself).
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 hours ago
For sure, she has unrealistic expectations about making her a part of a long term decision. He says they weren’t exclusive for eight months or so but he may have been the only person seeing other people, so maybe even though she was free to, she didn’t giving her a feeling of emotional investment he doesn’t share. Honestly, if it took him eight months to agree to exclusivity he was keeping his options open and she would do well to do the “he is clearly less invested “ math there. He is not in the wrong, at all. They are different pages about the importance of the relationship and she should probably move on.
Load More Replies... Gwyn 1 day ago
He doesn't say if they had talked about getting engaged or married. He said if they have kids it would be at least a couple of years. It just doesn't sound serious enough to involve her in the decision. He's a single Dad of two, and it's hard to raise children on your own, he probably needed to make this change whether or not she approved anyway. NTA
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