The actions of entitled people take all sorts of annoying forms, from outrageous and insane demands to rude and bizarre behavior. Unfortunately, often enough, nowhere is this more clear than in one’s family.

A teenage girl shared her annoying experience with a brother who was only a year younger than her but still demanded that she cook for him. At the same time, he refused to allow her to teach him and insisted that she was the reason he was “starving.” Readers shared some advice and did their best to teach OP what “weaponized incompetence” is.

Family members often make unreasonable demands

Image credits: Dapur Melodi / pexels (not the actual photo)

A teen shared her experience with a brother who thought it was her duty to feed him

Image credits: Gianpiero Ferraro / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits:  olive Bauers / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Terrific_Torii

Some folks believe that faking a lack of skill is their golden ticket to free stuff

Image credits: Elijah O’Donnell / pexels (not the actual photo)

Many of the commenters suggested that OP’s brother was most likely employing some form of weaponized incompetence. If you haven’t come across this term before, congratulations. In short, the idea is that a person claims to not know how to do something so that someone else does it in their stead. Unfortunately, some people know that they can get away with it so they will remain a burden until put in their place.

Even worse, sometimes the person will intentionally refuse to learn, as they prefer another person doing their work for them. After all, OP notes that the brother has some basic skills, enough to at least cook some pasta, however, he insists on asking her to help. Indeed, baked mozzarella rolls don’t exactly take any cooking skills, as you just place them in the oven, set a timer, and return when they are ready.

Interestingly, the dynamic of a man being (or acting) incapable so that a woman does work for him is hardly new. While OP has not provided any additional information, besides some minor details in the comments (which can be found below) this might be an indication that in her family, the mother does the bulk of the cooking anyway, so her brother simply believes this is how things should be done.

OP’s brother is a classic case of an entitled family member

Fortunately, OP has the right idea, to let him “starve.” This particular phrase reveals the brother’s bizarre level of entitlement. Not only is it strange that an able-bodied young man refuses to cook at all, but he still microwaves some ramen later. So all in all, he was never at risk of starvation, even if he didn’t have the slightest idea of how to cook. This is a classic case of a manipulative family member who seems to truly believe that they are entitled to someone else’s work.

Truth be told, OP allowing him to starve is probably for the best. At a certain point, hunger will set in and he will find his own way to feed himself. The worst thing OP can do is to cave at some point. He needs to learn that if he wants something, he has to get it himself. In the long run, this will massively contribute to his own happiness and the general life satisfaction of those around him. Fortunately, many of the comments suggest the exact same thing to OP.

This is a classic case of people thinking that family members are a source of free labor, time, energy, and money. The most important thing is to not enable this behavior. If it’s possible to cut contact, that would be for the best. OP doesn’t have this option, but, fortunately, her brother’s demands seem pretty easy to ignore. After all, a diet of ramen is unlikely to give him enough energy to protest and complain in the long run.

OP and some commenters discussed the brother’s behavior

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