The complication isn’t the guest’s weight. It’s the fact that they knew it broke when they sat on it and should have said something. Folks who say the couch should handle 450 lbs are just silly. Sure it should if the weight’s distributed, but this is all in one spot. Many, many very high quality pieces of furniture can’t handle that. It’s not shaming, it’s the way it is

She admitted she knew she broke it, as she felt it when it snapped. But instead of fessing up, she covered it with pillows and said nothing. She should at least pay half, if not all, the replacement cost.

Honestly the weight issue is completely irrelevant here. The friend should have owned up to breaking the couch and at the very least offered to help pay for a new one, if not completely cover the cost. I do however question how high quality of a couch it is. Typically when one sleeps on a couch they lay across the whole thing, so the weight distribution would be similar to multiple smaller people sitting on the couch.

$1500 is not a high quality couch, maybe "mid" as the kids say. My 70 pound dog broke the arm off my $1200 couch 10+ years ago, and my father in law flipped it over, went inside, and nailed it back together. It's still serviceable. This is what OP should do, maybe with an extra board.

Being about 6'4", I weigh a lot more than the average person, and I've always had to be careful how I place my weight. If I had declined the safe option offered me (the air mattress) and insisted on the couch, I would feel a greater responsibility since it was my decision and my preference. And I certainly would have informed my hostess even if I clearly had no responsibility.

If two 200lb people sat on it ant the same time and it broke would she ask them to pay?

OP suggested air mattress on the floor and her friend said no. This is ALL on the friend. A teachable moment? You bet it is, more for the friend than OP.

And that's why we have something like a responsibility insurance. Only costs a small fee and is for if you damage something outside your own house. That's also why we can't sue eachother to oblivion like in the US

I don’t get the comment that went ‘I broke a chair once and I was 125 lbs - I think the problem is your couch’. How are those two things comparable? And none of this is ‘fat-shaming’ - as usual, many of the comments are insane. Frankly if I broke someone’s couch, I’d definitely mention it, and at least offer to pay whatever I could towards a replacement, especially if whoever owned the couch had been looking after me as much as OP had.

So no one here has ever done something accidentally that was absolutely mortifying and they needed some time to process how to deal with it (including letting her host know)? Maybe the friend would have told her in a day or so, once she figured it out, including figuring out if/what she can contribute to fix it. I don't see this as a case of outright lying and deceit and intention to harm. But, everyone has their own opinion.

The thing here for me is that she covered it up. I'm not an obese person but I'm not little either. I'm 200 lbs. If I broke someone's couch I'd fess up, apologize and offer to reimburse them or buy them another couch. Also, saying this happened because she is a big lady should not be controversial. However, you truly can't polish a turd so here we are having a pointless conversation about whether or not this was some kind of "fat shaming". We live in the most ridiculous timeline, clearly.

NTA. The worst thing is that the friend kept it to herself before she left- and sending 'sad' faces when her host realised she'd broken the sofa?! And in the posts, peeps are trying to shame the OP, re: the reason it broke, like what? Don't dare say anything? Just suck it up? So many melts attacking peeps nowadays, due to feeling offended. I'm overweight: put on 3 stone when I hit around 60yrs, but I wouldn't expect people to tiptoe around me. If I'd broken someone's furniture, or whatever, due to my weight, I definitely wouldn't hide the fact - or act all innocent when caught out. Again, OP: NTA. Visitor: AH. YTAers: Get a flecking life.

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The decent thing her friend could've done was at least be honest and brought it to her attention and offer to pay full on or partially. That's what I would have done if I knew I broke the couch. Whether the couch was cheap or well made shouldn't even matter.

If you put your mind to it you could probably fix it for a lot less. There must me something on you tube

I think etiquette says you offer to pay and then for the host to refuse the offer.

I tend to plop myself down on couches & they can break.

If OP can get into the couch to determine what broke, odds are that it can be fixed. Boards can be replaced or reinforced and fabric can be stitched. I would do it myself, though OP may not be as self-reliant and could hire a handyman. A couch that expensive should be able to hold that weight better than this. Bill the woman for repairs and materials and call it a day.

I’m on the fence here ! One me sitting on won’t break lol n I’m not big I add but Yes she did wrong by hiding the fact she knew she broke it now that would p**s me right off I loath liars n that’s what she did basically lied by omission yes she’s obese but Other side of the fence here a 1500$ sofa should not be that s**t it breaks so easy oh n who spends that on a sofa in the real world anyway I’m in uk bought a new sofa first new one in 20 yrs after a divorce 13 yr ago now on my own with the kids 500 quid in a sale made to order it’s strong as comfy n lush n I have large dogs as jump on it does it break no have any of my sofas in my 60 years ever broken also no ! So you are the ah here for your attitude towards her over it ! She is better off with out u as a mate ! n next time get a decent sofa not a cheap tacky pos that u where ripped off over in first place but as someone else said they repaired one I’m sure it could be and also look on home insurance to mines covered on mine 🤷‍

The whole sofa thing aside? Why do people always suggest "Have a cup of tea/coffee"? I'm sensitive to caffeine, I can have a little bit but if I have too much? I get a migraine... Which would add to the drama fun! 😄 I would suggest offering water, caffeine can accelerate your heart rate, it's a stimulant which is why people have a cup of coffee to wake up. Caffeine may make their anxiety about the situation worse... Plus Dr Mannix advising against use of the term "at least"? It depends on what you've said to them beforehand. I've said it to try and lighten the mood... "Well... At least you're here and we're getting it sorted out... It's not good but it could be worse... At least we're not under attack by zombies or something!"... I guess? Just try and be as calming as possible. Say "I understand" and a friend who knows you, how you are? They won't take offence during a horrible occurrence when we can likely blurt out something that can sound insensitive, but do explain straight away.

OP is beyond an ah. She's a straight b.