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People Describe What It’s Like To Have Their Broke Boomer Parents Move In With Them (30 Stories)
Earlier this month, writer Jasmine Li published an article on Fortune, titled 'Broke boomers are moving in with their millennial kids, who are seething.'
In it, she highlighted that as more and more boomers reach retirement age, an increasing number of them are running out of money and, therefore, turning to their adult children for support — the median retiree has $142,000 in savings, which is a far cry from the $1 million they say they'll need to live comfortably.
And according to the Pew Research Center, 9% of multigenerational households were headed by 25- to 34-year-olds in 2021, up from 6% in 2001.
Li's text was a hit and after Reddit user LightRobb discovered it, they shared it on the platform's forum 'Boomers Being Fools.' People immediately started discussing it and sharing stories of their own struggling old folks, providing a human side to the grim figures.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I’ll be in the minority here, and that’s ok. My parents moved in with me recently. Immigrant parents that have busted a** since first coming here, but always struggled to stay above water. Now they’re old and still having to work, but physically unable to do so. My place isn’t huge and I have a family of my own. I’m happy to house them and help care for them, even though it has a cost. I get why this subreddit exists. It’s a fun one too. But one problem with talking about “boomers” is that we often speak as if they’re generation is a monolith. It’s not, no more than hours. It’s dehumanizes and k***s individual stories. Just one opinion of a random dude on Reddit, ofc. Cheers y’all.
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#2
I had my mom move in, after she sold her house post covid and was still in debt after selling with equity due to poor choices I had 3 rules. Always remember its my house, I wont charge rent but you need to show me you are savings rents worth a month in an account, never make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. It lasted 3 months before she moved out on her own. Apparently me letting her live rent free at my house and having to be respectful of someone else rules (adapting to the lifestyle of the house as it was is a better way of describing it) was too much to bear. Left acting like a victim. I had a very real conversation with her, stating that I will not be sacrificing my childrens future wealth to help her out. Her whole life she voted for all the nasty s**t republicans did to our social safety nets because God and abortion. I will buy her a tent, and a very nice one, but she will never move in with us again
#3
"No." Is a complete sentence. My Texan inlaws did not plan for their retirement, and always told my husband they would live with him since he's the oldest son. They refused to help us, even by babysitting their grandkids while their son was in the hospital with a burst appendix.
When they complain they can't afford retirement and need a cheaper place to live I respond, "that's too bad, but we have no room for you here"
#4
Suddenly they've never heard of my house my rules
Tabitha 9 months ago
Some parents can never let go of the authority they had over their kids when the kids were little. So they totally ignore the rules their children set in their own homes, because they still think they’re in charge. That doesn’t make them good parents, it makes them bullies.
#5
I bought a house with an in-law apartment because my mom couldn’t afford rent after divorcing my dad who raked her over the coals in court for 3 years.
She finally now understands why I was struggling, and the she can now empathize with younger generations because she struggled to pay her rent while working for the state.
She’s always been one of the good ones, but damn if it wasn’t infuriating seeing her give herself the grace I deserved when I was struggling.
R Dennis 9 months ago
Too many people like that. I am only Gen X (so never in the conversation), but I see how the younger generations are picked apart by greed: ridiculous rents/home prices, stagnant wages, excessive expenses on almost everything... all in the name of profit. And then lambasted as "lazy" because they are feeling hopeless while working two jobs and a side hustle. It's because of people like OP's mother who doesn't see a problem unless it affects them. They caused this, so they can reap the whirlwind.
#6
Literally got into an argument because I asked my mom to take her shoes off in my house. You'd have thought I slapped her in the face. She even tried to argue that her shoes weren't dirty. The shoes that she wore around outside on the filthy sidewalks etc. My son was crawling and eating stuff off the floor at the time too. She takes them off now but always has to make a point by commenting on it. Like "I brought warm socks so my feet don't get cold when I take my shoes off." The level of entitlement and self righteousness is truly astounding
Anyone-for-tea? 9 months ago
I used to have my dad live with me, and we would have the same discussion all the time. Well, my side was a discussion, his was shouting that his shopping bags were too heavy and he had to put them straight into the kitchen. But also my dad doesn’t know how to wipe his feet or use the mop. He ended up getting increasingly aggressive, and I needed help to get him to leave. I haven’t spoken to him in more than a year, but as I don’t think he has very long left, I don’t know what’s the best thing. He even blames me for having to move out, and apparently it’s my fault he was so aggressive! And it all started over shoes.
#7
My mother, who I had not spoken with in several years at the time, had the audacity to message me on Facebook that she was moving in with me in my 1 bedroom, that she would be getting the bedroom, and that I would be sleeping on the couch. I told her that that would not be happening, that she needed to make other arrangements, that the apartment complex would be notified not to provide a key to or let anyone into my unit, and that if she showed up the cops would be called. She showed up with movers and had an absolute f*****g meltdown in the parking lot about me not letting her into "her" apartment. She even stupidly called the police to try and say I was the one trespassing, so I called the front office (they liked me since I helped with their computer issues), they came out to vouch for me, and both the office manager and I produced a lease that showed I was the signer. She stood in the parking lot yelling, screaming, and having a pity party like a crazy woman. I haven't talked to her since then, but I'm aware of her talking absolute s**t about my sister and myself to anyone that will listen. It's especially amusing when once a year she'll try to reach out to me on my birthday with a whiny message about how long she was in labor with me and a mother's love is so important.
#8
And then when they move in they have the audacity to try and establish "rules" with you
#9
My daughter offered but I don’t want to wreck a great relationship . I go over once a week and I do laundry , we take turns with lunch and talk. I was feeling down one afternoon and I laid my head on her lap which made us laugh cause a favorite pict is her little self cuddling with me under a blanket with the two cats on top , one dog at the other end of the couch and a dog I front of the couch. Very cozy memories. Her in laws are very supportive and loving also. My SIL told me his parents are really non judgemental, always ready to help with money or advice. I am so sorry for those kids that had crappy non caring or maybe a**icted parents or mentally warped by Fox brains. We all need an deserve love. We talk about how people her age childhoods were, we saw what hurt was done by poor or absent parenting. I don’t mean poor money wise, I mean poor in love.
#10
My parents kicked me out of the house at 16 because they were getting divorced/remarried and I was inconvenient, and BOTH moved out of the continent (I was decidedly not invited). If they ever ask to live with me I will laugh in their narcissistic faces.
#11
My grandmother and my uncles kicked my disabled dad out of the family company he helped build, and wouldn’t even give him a JOB without ownership shares despite just having two disabled kids. Why? Grandma wanted people around her to depend on her through economic leverage, so she kept us poor, pretending to be generous helping with rent. I biked in the rain and snow to get through school. They have multiple houses. So dad dies of cancer and they naturally don’t help. And the family has the balls to demand I move in with grandma because she’s lonely. I agree to stay but keep my unit with sec 8 and she freaks out demanding I move out. She demands my disability check and I refuse. Destroys my relationship with my godfather lying that I was telling her I was plotting to steal her f*****g car . So finally I’ve had enough and move back out and get a job. So I’m normal boomer fashion they start freaking out “ AFTER EVERYTHING SHES DONE FOR YOU!!!!!” They think this is normal. My mind is blown. She still lies that she was never told why I left.
#12
That's when they'll just claim "respect your elders" supercedes "my house my rules"
#13
My mother literally tried to tell me to stop being friends with someone bc she thought they were a bad influence. I’m 30 I think I’m past the age of trying to live it up and trying d**gs. She was p****d that I didn’t respect her.
Lizz 9 months ago
45 and my mom would probably still try to run my life like she always ( thought she ) did when I was a kid. She ought to know what I've done behind her back.... I wasn't allowed much as a teenager and I left home at 18 because she wanted me to sell my car ( so I couldn't go anywhere without her permission.... meaning I wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere anymore ) She still thinks I'm a spineless jellyfish.... which I'm not.
#14
My dad is gen x, but his dad is boomer who lives with him. Grandpa took care of everyone and everything and that's why my dad takes care of him. And I would take my dad in a heartbeat. My mother though? Absolutely no way in hell. She can die on the street idgaf.
#15
I invited my boomer parents to live at my house for a few years so they could sell their house and save up for a while to buy something that they really wanted (as they circled the deathbed of my grandmother for the inheritance money).
It was a mixed blessing. Some good came of it. A lot of bad. I’m not as close to them as I used to be, but it helped me out quite a bit at the time and they were here during 2020 so it was nice to know they were “safe” even though they weren’t being safe… because boomers.
That said, unlike a lot of other people, my boomers were there for me when I needed them. I had to move home a few times in my 20s and once in my 30s and they always welcomed me back with grace. So helping them and living through a few years of frustration hearing their boomer rhetoric come up through the floor was the least I could do. And the most I was willing to do.
#16
I actually purchased my home specifically so my father could move in with me. In law suite on the first floor. Why? Why? Why? My father has gone full boomer. There is no way in hell that man can move in with me. I would rather sale my house than him move in.
Zedrapazia 9 months ago
Then don't, turn the free space into a fun space, atelier or guest room and let him go boomer around and pray to Trump (I assume that's what the OP meant) if that's what he wants to do
#17
I'll let my abusive parents end up in a shelter before I would even answer their calls, let alone invite them into my home. You reap what you sow.
Nimitz 9 months ago
Same page club. My mom and her husband are Trumper/Prosperity Gospel hardcore believers. They have never been able to pay their bills and will definitely die destitute and be a taxpayer burden. My dad is well off but has only ever spent money on himself (ruined my financing to university with a dumbass scheme that I was too naïve to avoid), and continues to spend $2k on a weekend around the house project that is not needed. He'll be penniless in less than 10 years. They've both spent their lives abusing me and my sisters. They will get the same thing they gave me: homelessness in Canadian prairie winter
#18
Don't get me started. My parents live with me I take care of them and they still treat me like s**t. They're alive because of me. I revolve my life and calendar outside of work around their medical needs. My stress is so high and it's not going down. They're so mean and entitled. My mom never cared for me at all but she'd be dead and homeless still if it wasn't for me. My dad wakes up every day and starts throwing s**t in my kitchen if it's not spotless bc he doesn't like a messy kitchen but I don't like pots banging and him cursing loudly at forks bc of dishes like can I please have coffee without every day starting like this? My parents never knew how to be parents and they still don't. I take care of all the hard s**t for them. It's so stressful and I've got no help and support. I'm married but my husband has his own things going on. I live life for other people not myself. My parents weren't anything like I am as a parents they're still verbally abusive and don't care. My dad makes me cry still and he doesn't care just ignores me. Idk it's so hard I don't want my parents to die but they make keeping them alive an unnecessarily stressful hard thing to do
#19
I moved my dad into a detached apartment on my property. It was an unmitigated disaster. He spent 4 years treating me like absolute dirt. Insane demands - like he refused to buy some ice trays and expected me to deliver him ice, daily, from my ice maker to him. If I didn't, he threw a fit about it.
Or...volunteered me to give him daily injections into a heart catheter instead of having a home health aid come by and do it (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE). I'm not a f**king nurse nor do I know anything about it.
Demanded to come along on our vacations, despite being in horrible health to the point that I was worried we'd have to take him to the hospital while on vacation. When I refused, he started screaming at me that he was worried something would happen to him while I was gone. ...So you want to come on vacation with me then? Go to the f**king hospital.
Moved a non-functional alcoholic in with him, because he did not understand that he "lived with family". He thought he was renting and I was his landlord. I could get a hell of a lot more than the $200 a month he was giving me if I wanted to rent the apartment out. I let him live here because I was kind and he couldn't afford a place on his own. When I got bad about the drunk living with him, he started telling me that as landlord I had to give him 48 hours notice before I even talked to him. He changed his tune when I started trying to kick the door down. He said he'd call the cops. I said great, its my house, I own the place, and you don't have a lease, you're just my broke father that I'm letting crash here. I should have kicked him out then, but no, I let it go another 2 years almost after that.
I would literally be scrubbing his s**t out of the carpet because he couldn't make it to the bathroom on time, while he told me he wasn't going to babysit my kids because he only "felt like he was doing it out of obligation because of what I did for him."
He was never happy. Nothing was ever good enough. I was a complete piece of s**t who was keeping him in this little apartment and not letting him have any friends or do anything on his own. Despite me constantly begging him to please get out of the house and go make friends because I can not be his only friend for the rest of his life.
I finally snapped one day and just said I can't do it anymore. I found him a senior / disabled state ran apartment nearby for $150 a month. Even after that, he was completely unable to live on his own - he ran up a $300 electric bill in a 1 bedroom apartment by keeping the heat on 80 and running 2 steam humidifiers while he sat around in his underwear and stood with the door wide open while he smoked.
He passed last summer. He needed major surgery and he realized I wasn't going to help him anymore, I'd finally told him I'm done. He had no friends. He had no one and nothing. So he elected to go to hospice instead.
Becca not Becky 9 months ago
Dang...he burned his own bridges. Getting him into a senior facility was the best thing.
#20
My boomer dad just turned 69. He moved in with me and my 2 children a year ago. I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I told him no smoking in the house but I caught him smoking on several occasions in my bathroom and the whole house will stink. I’m working on getting him out. I asked him for some money to help out with bills and groceries and he said “can you just leave me alone until the end of the month” he wasn’t supposed to be here permanently. This was only supposed to be temporary. Now I don’t have a living room and I have a leech for a dad. I will be going to contact when I finally get him out.
Keating_5 9 months ago
I have asthma/sarcoidosis so this would be an absolute non-starter for me. I even got my grandad to stop smoking at his house as a child because I went full “I love you grandpa and I like spending time with you, but I can’t if you smoke.” Took him a year but he got off the packs and credited me for it, saying he loved me too much to make me sick. Pregnant now and my in laws vape, but they know as well, not around me or their future grandchild.
#21
My wife's boomer parents p****d away all their money buying survival supplies from Glenn Beck and AR-15's, racked up thousands in credit card bills, have had their identity stolen 7 times, then when their homeowners insurance skyrocketed, in Florida of course, they were forced to sell their home. Every bulls**t boomer scam that showed up at their door, they bought. Solar water heaters, battery powered whatevers. My FIL had 7 generators and 35 propane tanks. He had 2 Glenn Beck Special solar ovens. Two. You know, in case the Sun k***ed the first one. Why? Because Glenn Beck said bread would be 20.00 a loaf 15 years ago. Me and the wife moved them to us on our dime, bought them a home which they pay 1000.00 "rent" for, all utilities included, which is a loss of at least 2500.00 a month for us. And... They are miserable and unhappy and want to move back to Florida. They live in absolute luxury in a house they pay almost nothing for and are the most ungrateful sons a b*****s on the planet. All they do is call me to b***h about every minor inconvenience. And now that they paid off their bills with the sale of their house, right back to buying QVC garbage and survival supplies for the end of the world that is never coming. My FIL, and I wish I were f**king with you here, has enough toilet paper stock pilled in the garage, that if he and my MIL s**t 20 times a day, every day, they would have enough toilet paper for the next 32 years. I did the f*****g math.
#22
Going through this right now. Mother in law wants to move in with us after never providing any financial support to her daughter, ever. My wife spent her whole youth watching mom party and get wasted only to end up as miserable old lady. She can kick rocks
#23
My ex girlfriend did this s**t to me and it led to our breakup about 2 months later. She told her mom she could move in with us to save “money” and a week before she moves in, my ex tells me. Her mom was saving money to move across the country to live with her other daughter, but that fell through about 2 weeks after moving in. Her mom took over my house, never gave a dime towards rent and asked for allowances from my ex. She retired at 62 and didn’t get much from social security; the first of many, many stupid financial decisions that ultimately led to her giving her house away for free (she thought she was winning because the scam flipper was going to “take over the mortgage payments”).
Anyway, she made us adhere to her rules and tell us what we could do in our own house. My ex acted like it was such a blessing. THEN, her mom started telling her she needed a man who would take better care of them and to dump me. I listened to them hatch this whole plan out, while they thought I was sleeping, of how they were going to take everything and move in with this junkie that had “wealthy” parents. So I started packing my s**t, and moved out within a week of hearing that. After I left, my ex got tired of her mom and made her move in to some cheap slum apartment across town and fend for herself.
#24
My (gen x) parents (boomers) moved in with my family. Then, one night my husband and I went out and weren’t home at the time my mom thought we should be. The phone call came, asking where we were- my husband was not pleased. The next day I had to remind my mother that I AM FIFTY F*****G YEARS OLD.
#25
My brother and his wife are seriously considering moving to a new undisclosed location after their daughter is born because the in laws are wanting to move nearby and are already asking for (financial) support to make the move.
Brother and his wife don’t want them nearby at ALL and don’t want their child(ren) influenced by them and their “traditional” views.
What’s hilarious though is the reason they haven’t moved back into town (they’re several states away) is because the in laws live here! If the in laws move to be close to them then they could move back into town and swap places lol
#26
My parents had to move in with me & my husband for a few months several years ago. It was PAINFUL. My mom kept rearranging furniture and kitchen drawers. To top it off I was deep into wedding planning and she wanted nothing to do with that except to tell me what she expected the seating chart to be and that I had to have fine china on my registry despite me saying numerous times I didn’t want china. Oh, she also burned several cigarette holes in the couch on our porch and didn’t even apologize, saying “it’s not like it’s a nice couch anyways”. Longest 3 months of my life
#27
"Oh grow up. We're all adults, sharing a space. You were a child then and it was different/we know better now."
Brian Droste 9 months ago
Parents are probably going to think of you as a child and is going to be need to look after.
#28
Seriously. GF’s grandma refused to use the $200 water purifier we bought because she “only drinks bottled water” and constantly complained about it. We got her a personalized hydroflask for Christmas and banned bottled water from the house, and suddenly “I could get used to this, saves me a ton of money now that I don’t have to buy a pallet of bottled water every month”. So annoying.
#29
My dad moved in with my sister, her husband and 3 kids. Yeah, she kicked his a** out. He was constantly making a mess, eating all the food, & yelling at the children... Then mix in all the recent crazy Fox "News" nonsense, yikes. He was an a** when we had to grow up with thim, but at least back then he somewhat tried to be a parent when we were in our teens. Also, he was way more accepting when I came out then my liberal mother, even inviting my partner to Christmas, which my mom objected to. My mom would eventually come around. But I refuse to talk to him ever since my mom spilt up with him, and then a few months later he lured her back to the house with finally signing the divorce papers. He held her hostage for all day at gun point... Luckily, my mom's new boyfriend was worried when she won't answer her phone & didn't come home. He drove over there and call the police. I don't want anything to do with him anymore. My sister was more forgiving, probably because my mother asked her to be, figuring that her grandchildren should know their grandfather...
Kyra Heiker 9 months ago
Who in the hell would think it's a good idea for a crazy gun-toting kidnapper and abuser to be around their grandchildren?
#30
I told my parents, dont move my s**t, then proceed to move my s**t and when I said something they played the "pay me the trip back to my country card" and it sucked.
What do you think ?
Edward Shaw 9 months ago
We used to have tabloid newspapers to stir up division and hatred, now we have reddit and bored panda.
Seonag Udell 9 months ago
My parents live with me and my husband and our 16 month old daughter. While it can be difficult and stressful ( we do argue sometimes ). I love my parents and I am happy to help them. To many younger people give up on their families when it gets stressful and inconvenient. Believe me I know it can be hard living with parents as adults, but whatever mistakes were made we are all human, and I would much rather my parents live with me than in a nursing home.
Raphapablap 9 months ago
My MIL stays with us a few months every year (4-6 months) and the woman is a saint.
Edward Shaw 9 months ago
We used to have tabloid newspapers to stir up division and hatred, now we have reddit and bored panda.
Seonag Udell 9 months ago
My parents live with me and my husband and our 16 month old daughter. While it can be difficult and stressful ( we do argue sometimes ). I love my parents and I am happy to help them. To many younger people give up on their families when it gets stressful and inconvenient. Believe me I know it can be hard living with parents as adults, but whatever mistakes were made we are all human, and I would much rather my parents live with me than in a nursing home.
Raphapablap 9 months ago
My MIL stays with us a few months every year (4-6 months) and the woman is a saint.
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