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“I Don’t Like What The In-Laws Order”: Person Stands Ground Against In-Laws’ Persistent Pressure
Even if your partner has the most kind, caring, and patient family in the entire universe, there will still be at least some friction between you and your in-laws. And anyone’s in-laws are rarely ever ‘perfect.’ Some of these arguments can revolve around seemingly mundane things like what to have for dinner.
But the thing is—it’s usually not about food. If someone tries to force you to like something you honestly hate, if they’re always critical of you, it’s a (not so) subtle way of exercising control. Redditor u/EntertainerIll9058 went viral on the AITA online group and elsewhere on the internet after sharing how they got into an argument with their in-laws over the pizza they always order that isn’t all that tasty. So, the OP tends to buy their own food at parties.
Scroll down for the story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from them.
RELATED:
What you like to eat depends on your taste, lifestyle, and even genetics. Not everyone’s going to be a fan of every restaurant or dish
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
A person opened up about how their in-laws kept pressuring them to fall in love with a particular fast-food place’s pizza
Image credits: ckstockphoto / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EntertainerIll9058
Not everyone will enjoy everything at the dinner table. Your genetics and past experiences can influence how you perceive some tastes and smells
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / pexels (not the actual photo)
Whether or not you enjoy a restaurant’s food is a matter of personal taste. Sure, anyone can nibble on anything out of politeness at a family gathering. But if you’re at a party, typically, you want to have fun yourself at least a little bit. Food, drinks, dancing, games, good company—you’ve got to enjoy life.
If you don’t like a particular ingredient or dish, it might be because you’re used to eating a very different diet, have a different lifestyle than other people, or your genetics are different. For example, coriander (aka cilantro) is an ingredient that is used in many dishes around the world. Yours truly is a fan of it. Many others aren’t!
This is because the herb can taste or smell like soap or dirt to some people. One study noted that there is a genetic component to cilantro taste perception, suggesting that one’s dislike for the herb can “stem from genetic variants in olfactory receptors.” So, naturally, depending on your genes, you might avoid anything with coriander in it.
Another issue to consider is your past experience with certain ingredients and their combinations. Just like a whiff of a dish your grandparents used to make can bring a smile to your face, smelling something that made you ill in the past can create a visceral reaction.
Similarly, it might be that the issue isn’t with the dish itself, so much as the context in which you ate it. For instance, if you kept eating a particular dish when you could barely make ends meet or during another stressful period of your life, you might not want to revisit it.
At the end of the day, we’re all responsible for enforcing our boundaries when it comes to our relationships, health, fitness, diet, and finances. To put it simply, if you don’t like a particular pizza, nobody can force you to eat it. You don’t even have to explain your choice in detail aside from a quick and polite, “Thank you, but I’d rather order something else.”
Even if a particular brand is very popular and successful, it doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll enjoy their food. It’s okay to be picky sometimes
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / pexels (not the actual photo)
It feels like anyone who’s ever had a major disagreement with their in-laws or felt pressured to conform to someone’s food preferences found something relatable in the online post. At the time of writing, the author’s story had 8.6k upvotes and garnered around 1.3k comments. As the post went viral, it was picked up by a few online outlets.
The restaurant that u/EntertainerIll9058’s in-laws seem to love so much is Papa Murphy’s, a take-and-bake pizza company that’s based in Vancouver, Washington. The fast-food chain and its franchises have over 1.5k locations across the United States, Canada, and the United Arab Emirates.
The current company came about as a result of a merger in 1995 between Papa Aldo’s Pizza, which was founded in 1981, and Murphy’s Pizza, created in 1984. The merger also merged the names of the two companies. In 2019, MTY Food Group announced that it would acquire Papa Murphy’s.
In 2003, Papa Murphy’s was voted Best Pizza Chain in America by Restaurants and Institutions magazine. Fast forward to 2022 and the brand was in the press for a very different reason. Papa Murphy’s was sued in a class action lawsuit that alleged that the company was supposedly secretly wiretapping the private conversations of everyone who communicated via the company’s online chat feature.
The take-and-bake concept is fairly simple. The pizzas are made in-store, but they’re not baked there. Customers pick them up and bake them at home. You can do a walk-in order online, or call in. From a business perspective, this model means that you spend less money on restaurant space and equipment, which means fewer costs.
How would you handle the situation if you were in the author’s shoes, dear Pandas? Have your extended family members ever pressured you to eat a particular dish that you just couldn’t stomach? How do you navigate any arguments with your in-laws? If you had to pick a single cheeky party meal that you genuinely love, what would it be? Let us know in the comments.
The author answered some people’s questions in the comments of their post
Most readers were on the person’s side and thought the in-laws were in the wrong
A few internet users had incredibly unpopular takes on the family drama
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What do you think ?
Seán Baron 2 weeks ago
Do the YTA posters actually read the posting? The lady said she doesn’t like the pizza, it can be that bad whomever Fourfifteen415 is. Moron.
katiekat0214 2 weeks ago
Quite a few others said they disliked it also. If food is sour or bitter, it's gone bad. I'd bet $$ that the pizza chain is using out-of-date ingredients that are juuuusstt on the verge of going truly bad. People with sensitive noses and taste buds can tell (which is the OP). People who aren't that sensitive can't tell it's off and gone bad (the in-laws).
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Kkg 2 weeks ago
My FIL is super proud of the chicken he makes. My husband's family loves it as well. We live far, so we don't get that many opportunities to visit, but whenever we do, he makes it. And I hate it. It's tasteless, dull and awful. And I eat it each time. Without seconds or thirds, but I eat my portion. Because he puts a lot of effort into it. And it's been a comfort for my husband when he was a kid. So I just eat it. I know that if I said anything, he would never make it again. I think I'd be TA if I told him that I don't like it. But in this case? OP is NTA. Nobody puts any effort into making the food (so it's not about respect for somebody's work and effort), at the same time they completely ignore her wishes, even at her own house. It's just crazy.
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Are the parents shareholders in the pizza company? Are they "extreme" about other things in their life (ex religion/politics) are they exceptionally "brand loyal" (will ONLY drink coke and coke ONLY for instance)? Their reaction to your not liking this pizza brand seems extreme. Don't tell them "you're allergic" cuz they'll probably start "testing you" to prove it and won't believe you even if you can blind taste test the difference. No one should force anyone to eat what they eat every time because "that's what I like so you should like it too". (Btw, I've never heard the term "take n bake". Is that a store bought frozen pizza you cook at home?)
Bookworm 2 weeks ago
I don't think the comment was suggesting they tell the in-laws they're literally allergic. I read it as telling them to think of it the same way as an allergy, in that getting different food isn't preference or pickiness, it's a requirement.
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WonderWoman 2 weeks ago
Stop eating with your in-laws and inviting them to your home. When they ask you tell them that you have explained your position many times and they refuse to listen or allow you to bring your own, so you are staying away. If they don't budge, then you don't budge. You are all adults, except they are acting like children.
B Jones 2 weeks ago
It's hard if there are a lot of family events and you like the other family there. Depending how long the event is might just be easier to eat a bunch before you get there and just wait until after to eat again
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Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
I have a similar aversion to Dominos. Had one of their pizzas, it tasted like treacle, never going back. People should be much more aware of food issues these days - vegan, celiac etc - and should never insist that just because you like it, so should they.
Ru Bee 2 weeks ago
I agree I can't stand Dominoes or Papa John's my friends think I'm mad but they both taste horribly sweet to me.
Load More Replies... JD 2 weeks ago
The Policing of Food at family events has to stop. It's supposed to be fun, you're supposed to be enjoying yourselves, not nitpicking who is eating what. STOP IT. You're just going to give your family eating disorders. Nobody wants their food scrutinized, and it ruins appetites. If you can't get over your need to control other people's stomachs, stop having family events around a meal.
Funhog 2 weeks ago
This story reminded me of my experience with a seafood restaurant near me that the locals rave about. So, we tried it... once. Everything on the menu is fried. I ordered fish and chips (french fries) and we sampled each other's food -- all of the food smelled and tasted the same, like old fish. We realized that they used the same frying oil for everything, which probably was hardly ever changed out. Wondering if the reason why every dish on the Papa Murphy's menu is bitter-tasting throughout because of something similar.
quentariel 2 weeks ago
Refusing to eat something (without proper reasons) once or twice would be kinda unpolite, but having the same pizza brand in every family get-together is equally ridiculous. And on top of that the op is hosting this event and was originally supposed to cater it too before the in-laws meltdown, so the op han't got a single ounce of assholeism in this.
arthbach 2 weeks ago
It sounds like this extended family needs to engage in activities, rather than gathering for a meal. They could go ice skating, or hiking, take a class, go to the cinema, theatre, or event. If their time together wasn't linked with food they might have a better time of it.
kath morgan 2 weeks ago
I’ve also encountered restaurants where every item tastes rank, and my theory is that they’re using stale old fat. Even where it’s not in the recipe it’s greasing all the pans, and that’s why it gets in/on everything.
Spittnimage 2 weeks ago
They should've told MIL that they couldn't afford to buy pizza after buying pasta and sauces, etc. for the party and to butt out.
katiekat0214 2 weeks ago
This isn't about food, it's about CONTROL. And reasons are for reasonable people. You have to set hard boundaries with the in-laws, and I agree with the suggestion of telling the MIL once, then walking, ad nauseam, til the message gets through. And the message may never get through, especially if someone is both controlling and unreasonable. It's your body, your food, your choice 100% of the time.
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 weeks ago
Stop explaining, NO is a complete sentence. Stop inviting these cretins to events for awhile. Don't engage in their deplorable gaslighting and bullying c**p.
Suzie 2 weeks ago
When MIL hosts, she gets to plan the menu. Unless there are dietary restrictions, it's pretty rude to take your own food. OP should just eat before she gets there. When OP hosts, she gets to pick the menu and MIL needs to shut up about her beloved pizza. Not every gathering needs to include pizza.
CBolt 1 week ago (edited)
If OP ate before going, then ate nothing at the in-laws' house, the MIL would still have a meltdown. The in-laws can eat all the pizza they want, all the time (& it sounds as if that's the only thing they eat) in their own home, but why are they fixated on OP eating it? Why is it so important? (In addition, they're rude to invite people, then serve something they know they don't like. & How boring that they always serve the same thing. It's absurd & MIL's tantrums are incredibly childish.
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SirWriteALot 2 weeks ago
Must be one hell of a family. Always eating pizza. When they're not eating pizza they make pasta. Yep. Pizza and pasta. I now have Godzilla-type images in my head when I read "put foot down hard".
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
The good thing is eating the s****y pizza all the time means they probably won't be around for a long time.
Roberta Surprenant 2 weeks ago
Why not just disinvite them from the party so they can stay home with take and bake?
Sue 2 weeks ago
Picking your battles with people like that means you just lose more battles. You need to put her on a time out EVERY SINGLE TIME. These sorts of controlling people don't learn until you TAKE control. I wouldn't have any children with this man until she gets herself under control. If she's this way about pizza, I can imagine when you don't parent just like her.
tori Ohno 2 weeks ago
This isn't an in-law problem, it's a husband problem. He needs to put his parents in their place. I would have told them we're having a pasta bar, Period! If you don't like it, don't show up. And you (and him) need to do the same when visiting their place. TBH, I honestly don't believe ANY pizza is that bad. Maybe burgers from now on instead of pizza. But this is his problem to deal with, not yours.
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
I wonder if OP'S husband was bullied as a child into eating food his parents knew full well that he didn't like or didn't agree with him. They sound like the kind of "parents" that operate in that manner.
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Chris Riccardino 2 weeks ago
I'm curious if the MIL is on the spectrum. That said, NTA. You have repeatedly told them you do not like any of the food from that place. You've stated you have even tried it a bunch of times. That they pitch a fit when you take care of your own meal, rather than eating food they KNOW you hate makes them clearly the AHs here.
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
There are several pizza places I simply will never eat from them because they're just not good or contain something I can't tolerate (I have weird food sensitivities and allergies). I don't like most Italian spices because they're too bitter, but most places balance it nicely. When they don't, I can't eat it. I can't tolerate the taste of licorice (basil, tarragon, fennel). Pizza is typically pretty neutral, but there's some that really overdo it.
Mobey Drunk 2 weeks ago
This truly fits the old saying. The customer is always right in matters of taste.
Ellen Townsend 2 weeks ago
I do not eat Papa Murphy's because whatever cooking oil they use makes the food run through my body rather quickly. Same for my husband. No matter what we've tried, same results. Plus the flavor just isn't anything special to us.
Seán Baron 2 weeks ago
Do the YTA posters actually read the posting? The lady said she doesn’t like the pizza, it can be that bad whomever Fourfifteen415 is. Moron.
katiekat0214 2 weeks ago
Quite a few others said they disliked it also. If food is sour or bitter, it's gone bad. I'd bet $$ that the pizza chain is using out-of-date ingredients that are juuuusstt on the verge of going truly bad. People with sensitive noses and taste buds can tell (which is the OP). People who aren't that sensitive can't tell it's off and gone bad (the in-laws).
Load More Replies... Kkg 2 weeks ago
My FIL is super proud of the chicken he makes. My husband's family loves it as well. We live far, so we don't get that many opportunities to visit, but whenever we do, he makes it. And I hate it. It's tasteless, dull and awful. And I eat it each time. Without seconds or thirds, but I eat my portion. Because he puts a lot of effort into it. And it's been a comfort for my husband when he was a kid. So I just eat it. I know that if I said anything, he would never make it again. I think I'd be TA if I told him that I don't like it. But in this case? OP is NTA. Nobody puts any effort into making the food (so it's not about respect for somebody's work and effort), at the same time they completely ignore her wishes, even at her own house. It's just crazy.
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Are the parents shareholders in the pizza company? Are they "extreme" about other things in their life (ex religion/politics) are they exceptionally "brand loyal" (will ONLY drink coke and coke ONLY for instance)? Their reaction to your not liking this pizza brand seems extreme. Don't tell them "you're allergic" cuz they'll probably start "testing you" to prove it and won't believe you even if you can blind taste test the difference. No one should force anyone to eat what they eat every time because "that's what I like so you should like it too". (Btw, I've never heard the term "take n bake". Is that a store bought frozen pizza you cook at home?)
Bookworm 2 weeks ago
I don't think the comment was suggesting they tell the in-laws they're literally allergic. I read it as telling them to think of it the same way as an allergy, in that getting different food isn't preference or pickiness, it's a requirement.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 weeks ago
Stop eating with your in-laws and inviting them to your home. When they ask you tell them that you have explained your position many times and they refuse to listen or allow you to bring your own, so you are staying away. If they don't budge, then you don't budge. You are all adults, except they are acting like children.
B Jones 2 weeks ago
It's hard if there are a lot of family events and you like the other family there. Depending how long the event is might just be easier to eat a bunch before you get there and just wait until after to eat again
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
I have a similar aversion to Dominos. Had one of their pizzas, it tasted like treacle, never going back. People should be much more aware of food issues these days - vegan, celiac etc - and should never insist that just because you like it, so should they.
Ru Bee 2 weeks ago
I agree I can't stand Dominoes or Papa John's my friends think I'm mad but they both taste horribly sweet to me.
Load More Replies... JD 2 weeks ago
The Policing of Food at family events has to stop. It's supposed to be fun, you're supposed to be enjoying yourselves, not nitpicking who is eating what. STOP IT. You're just going to give your family eating disorders. Nobody wants their food scrutinized, and it ruins appetites. If you can't get over your need to control other people's stomachs, stop having family events around a meal.
Funhog 2 weeks ago
This story reminded me of my experience with a seafood restaurant near me that the locals rave about. So, we tried it... once. Everything on the menu is fried. I ordered fish and chips (french fries) and we sampled each other's food -- all of the food smelled and tasted the same, like old fish. We realized that they used the same frying oil for everything, which probably was hardly ever changed out. Wondering if the reason why every dish on the Papa Murphy's menu is bitter-tasting throughout because of something similar.
quentariel 2 weeks ago
Refusing to eat something (without proper reasons) once or twice would be kinda unpolite, but having the same pizza brand in every family get-together is equally ridiculous. And on top of that the op is hosting this event and was originally supposed to cater it too before the in-laws meltdown, so the op han't got a single ounce of assholeism in this.
arthbach 2 weeks ago
It sounds like this extended family needs to engage in activities, rather than gathering for a meal. They could go ice skating, or hiking, take a class, go to the cinema, theatre, or event. If their time together wasn't linked with food they might have a better time of it.
kath morgan 2 weeks ago
I’ve also encountered restaurants where every item tastes rank, and my theory is that they’re using stale old fat. Even where it’s not in the recipe it’s greasing all the pans, and that’s why it gets in/on everything.
Spittnimage 2 weeks ago
They should've told MIL that they couldn't afford to buy pizza after buying pasta and sauces, etc. for the party and to butt out.
katiekat0214 2 weeks ago
This isn't about food, it's about CONTROL. And reasons are for reasonable people. You have to set hard boundaries with the in-laws, and I agree with the suggestion of telling the MIL once, then walking, ad nauseam, til the message gets through. And the message may never get through, especially if someone is both controlling and unreasonable. It's your body, your food, your choice 100% of the time.
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 weeks ago
Stop explaining, NO is a complete sentence. Stop inviting these cretins to events for awhile. Don't engage in their deplorable gaslighting and bullying c**p.
Suzie 2 weeks ago
When MIL hosts, she gets to plan the menu. Unless there are dietary restrictions, it's pretty rude to take your own food. OP should just eat before she gets there. When OP hosts, she gets to pick the menu and MIL needs to shut up about her beloved pizza. Not every gathering needs to include pizza.
CBolt 1 week ago (edited)
If OP ate before going, then ate nothing at the in-laws' house, the MIL would still have a meltdown. The in-laws can eat all the pizza they want, all the time (& it sounds as if that's the only thing they eat) in their own home, but why are they fixated on OP eating it? Why is it so important? (In addition, they're rude to invite people, then serve something they know they don't like. & How boring that they always serve the same thing. It's absurd & MIL's tantrums are incredibly childish.
Load More Replies... SirWriteALot 2 weeks ago
Must be one hell of a family. Always eating pizza. When they're not eating pizza they make pasta. Yep. Pizza and pasta. I now have Godzilla-type images in my head when I read "put foot down hard".
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
The good thing is eating the s****y pizza all the time means they probably won't be around for a long time.
Roberta Surprenant 2 weeks ago
Why not just disinvite them from the party so they can stay home with take and bake?
Sue 2 weeks ago
Picking your battles with people like that means you just lose more battles. You need to put her on a time out EVERY SINGLE TIME. These sorts of controlling people don't learn until you TAKE control. I wouldn't have any children with this man until she gets herself under control. If she's this way about pizza, I can imagine when you don't parent just like her.
tori Ohno 2 weeks ago
This isn't an in-law problem, it's a husband problem. He needs to put his parents in their place. I would have told them we're having a pasta bar, Period! If you don't like it, don't show up. And you (and him) need to do the same when visiting their place. TBH, I honestly don't believe ANY pizza is that bad. Maybe burgers from now on instead of pizza. But this is his problem to deal with, not yours.
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
I wonder if OP'S husband was bullied as a child into eating food his parents knew full well that he didn't like or didn't agree with him. They sound like the kind of "parents" that operate in that manner.
Load More Replies... Chris Riccardino 2 weeks ago
I'm curious if the MIL is on the spectrum. That said, NTA. You have repeatedly told them you do not like any of the food from that place. You've stated you have even tried it a bunch of times. That they pitch a fit when you take care of your own meal, rather than eating food they KNOW you hate makes them clearly the AHs here.
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
There are several pizza places I simply will never eat from them because they're just not good or contain something I can't tolerate (I have weird food sensitivities and allergies). I don't like most Italian spices because they're too bitter, but most places balance it nicely. When they don't, I can't eat it. I can't tolerate the taste of licorice (basil, tarragon, fennel). Pizza is typically pretty neutral, but there's some that really overdo it.
Mobey Drunk 2 weeks ago
This truly fits the old saying. The customer is always right in matters of taste.
Ellen Townsend 2 weeks ago
I do not eat Papa Murphy's because whatever cooking oil they use makes the food run through my body rather quickly. Same for my husband. No matter what we've tried, same results. Plus the flavor just isn't anything special to us.
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