Bridezilla Hides Veteran’s Cane That Doesn’t Fit Her Wedding Aesthetic, Regrets It Immediately
InterviewWhen it comes to their wedding day, most brides want everything to be perfect, but some seek that at the expense of their guests, which might come back to haunt them.
When this redditor, a disabled veteran, attended her bridezilla friend’s wedding, her walking stick “magically” disappeared and the bride-to-be told her to “make do” without it. So, that’s exactly what the redditor did; she maliciously complied and found a way to get herself down the aisle without her walking stick.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find her thoughts in the text below.
Some bridezillas put their desires over the comfort and
well-being of their guests
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
This disabled bridesmaid was asked to “do without” her walking stick when it disappeared at a bridezilla friend’s wedding
Image credits: EIGHTPRESSION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Restless_Dragon
Image credits: Raul_Mellado (not the actual photo)
The tension caused by wedding stress often seems to be contagious
The OP shared with Bored Panda that the thing that annoyed her the most was the sheer audacity of her friend, as even after the redditor offered to step down from being a bridesmaid, the bride-to-be insisted that she wouldn’t and was going to put her in a situation where her friend could have seriously injured herself.
“The other bridesmaids were absolutely flabbergasted that she told them that she was going to hide my cane; even though when they called her out on it she claimed to be joking,” the OP told Bored Panda. “They are actually the ones who warned me ahead of time.”
Bridezillas are called this way for a reason; they’re rarely ever pleasant to be around during stressful moments, and as happy an occasion as a wedding is, it can get quite stressful as well. Planning alone can be a major stressor, and bearing in mind that it all leads up to that one special day, it’s likely to become the epitome of it all.
Surveys have found that roughly 40% of the happy couples described their wedding planning as “very” or “extremely” stressful. Be that as it may, the absolute majority of them—96% to be exact—put guest safety and safety protocols among their top priorities. Unfortunately, the OP’s friend didn’t care much about her safety walking down the aisle; the aesthetics were more important than her bridesmaid’s well-being or comfort.
“I have seen many examples of rigid, unreal thinking during wedding planning, enormous, stressful preoccupation with technical details, driven activity, dread of judgment, criticism and dire consequences,” Clinical Assistant Professor Of Medical Psychology In Psychiatry, Brenda Berger Ph. D. wrote in Psychology Today, adding that the intensity of it all often seems contagious, filtering through the wedding couple and their families, the bridal party, and friends.
“Bridesmaids and maids of honor compete for the position of ‘the chosen best friend.’ Older and newer friends of the couple act chilly with one another even though bride and groom wish only for them to be the loving intact community to send them off into married life.”
Image credits: Alvin Mahmudov (not the actual photo)
People with a disability have to deal with ignorant or negative individuals quite often
Focusing on the aesthetics to the extent of disregarding her bridesmaid’s disability arguably makes the bride not only a bridezilla but a poor friend, too; if even a friend at all. Unfortunately, whether it’s friends or random acquaintances they involve, situations when people with disabilities have to deal with lack of awareness or care are not that uncommon.
To make matters worse, some disabled people have to deal with negative attitudes or prejudice, too. According to Scope’s Disability Perception Gap report, roughly one-in-three of disabled respondents believe that such negative attitudes or prejudice are quite prevalent.
The report pointed out that disabled people frequently encounter small acts of negative behavior, such as individuals letting the doors swing back on wheelchair users, ignoring disabled customers, or speaking to carers and other third parties rather than the disabled person directly. These, according to Scope, might not seem like severe wongoings on their own, however they tend to add up eventually creating certain barriers.
In the OP’s case, she found a way to counter the bridezilla’s negative behavior with malicious compliance, which she is proud of to this day; the hideous scooter did appear in more than 90% of the wedding photos, after all.
“The only contact I have ever had with the bride since the wedding was when she called me screaming that I ruined her wedding photos,” the redditor shared. “I did see her at a couple of events, within six months of the wedding, but we stayed away from each other and never spoke again.”
Fellow redditors shared their reactions in the comments, the OP replied to some of them
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
35Kviews
Share on FacebookI'm disabled, I use a wheelchair now, I used to use crutches, and anyone who takes away a disabled person's cane is an a*****e. I didn't even like people moving my crutches out of reach - in cafes, etc. I put up having them moved somewhere they wouldn't trip anyone over, to make life easier for everyone else, but it makes you feel extremely vulnerable. It means you can't get up, can't go to the loo, can't leave, etc without help.
Right now, my father is in a wheelchair and I would never look down on him for that. Weddings should be about love and not perfection. If you are so obsessed with having the perfect wedding, then you are getting married for the wrong reasons.
The wedding is all about the bride. All attention should be on her and how beautiful she looks. (Or, if there are two brides, they both look.) So, take away my cane when you know I can't walk more than 10 feet down and I'll get help to the end of the isle, walk ten feet and collapse in a heap of pain, making all the attention be on me and how much pain I'm in. Then I'll just scream, " How could you do this to me!" over and over, bringing the attention back to you as it should be.
I'm disabled, I use a wheelchair now, I used to use crutches, and anyone who takes away a disabled person's cane is an a*****e. I didn't even like people moving my crutches out of reach - in cafes, etc. I put up having them moved somewhere they wouldn't trip anyone over, to make life easier for everyone else, but it makes you feel extremely vulnerable. It means you can't get up, can't go to the loo, can't leave, etc without help.
Right now, my father is in a wheelchair and I would never look down on him for that. Weddings should be about love and not perfection. If you are so obsessed with having the perfect wedding, then you are getting married for the wrong reasons.
The wedding is all about the bride. All attention should be on her and how beautiful she looks. (Or, if there are two brides, they both look.) So, take away my cane when you know I can't walk more than 10 feet down and I'll get help to the end of the isle, walk ten feet and collapse in a heap of pain, making all the attention be on me and how much pain I'm in. Then I'll just scream, " How could you do this to me!" over and over, bringing the attention back to you as it should be.
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