The role of the bridesmaid is a time-honored tradition, a way for the bride to display her status, honor friends, and also protect herself against evil spirits if one thinks they are at risk of such a thing. But no amount of supernatural protection can help against more common human issues like jealousy and envy.

An internet user described her encounter with a bridezilla, which culminated in her being kicked out of the wedding. To make matters worse, the bride was also OP’s roommate, which is how the story began. What started out as a friend becoming a bridesmaid ended in jealousy, spite, and petty aggression.

More info: Reddit

A bridezilla is formed when the stress of wedding planning combines with a person lacking common decency

Image credits: Ignatios Kourouvasilis (not the actual photo)

A woman was excited to be the bridesmaid at her friend and roommate’s wedding

Despite her offers to help, the bride had convinced herself that OP had nefarious intentions

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: u/breakingmurphy

OP provided some final thoughts on her feelings about the situation

We reached out to breakingmurphy and she was gracious enough to provide some follow-up details. We wanted to know if they actually ended up paying her back and if she had any final thoughts on the matter. “They got a loan from the bank to pay for the wedding and pay me back for what they borrowed from me. I wish things ended differently, not with their marriage but with our friendships. They were two of my closest friends at the time and it hurts to think they believed I would try to do something so awful to them (by canceling the dress order). However, they’re both married now to different people and seem really happy and I’m happy living my own life. That’s what matters.”

Image credits: Olivia Bauso (not the actual photo)

Despite being a pretty symbolic task, the role of the bridesmaid, like that of the groomsman, evolved out of the practical realities of pre-modern life. Yes, evil spirits were one specific concern, though it seems pretty brave to risk being possessed just so your bestie can get hitched. More practically, bridesmaids in feudal era China would dress similarly to the bride to help protect her from bandits and other nefarious folks. So this is a great way to evaluate your own relationship with your friends. Ask them if they would risk evil spirits or marauders just so you can get through your wedding ceremony. Fortunately, the world has evolved to a state where we don’t have to call up our friends to run anti-ghost security at every event.

Wedding stress can be infectious and lead to a lot of problems down the road

The real, modern danger is the creeping stress of planning a wedding. Organizing an event can be difficult enough, but if you add in societal pressure, relationship issues, and your own insecurities, it’s a disaster in the making. The real question should not be why are so many brides bridezillas, but why so few? OP mentioned that the couple split up soon after the wedding, which is in line with most research on the topic. Studies show that the higher the stress and expectations around the wedding, the more likely the marriage won’t survive. While it’s unclear from the story if it was general insecurity or the pressure of marriage that made this bride snap at her ex-friend and roommate, the damage was done regardless.

Image credits: Photos by Lanty (not the actual photo)

Stress, insecurities, and poor communication can all blend together to create a vicious cycle of anger and resentment. Research on couples psychology suggests that we tend to overlook or underestimate the stress of our partner if we are feeling stressed ourselves. Since one’s romantic partner tends to be the primary support person in your life, not being able to turn to them will, obviously, create its own cascade of pressure. This is also why people really need to have their own friends and family to rely on, as your partner can’t be 100% on the ball at all times. A wedding is a perfect trap, as it can create stress for both partners, who in turn are then both unavailable for each other. One would think this is where friends, the sort that becomes bridesmaids and groomsmen come in, but as we saw in this story, insecurity can get in the way.

Commenters expressed sympathy with OP and wanted to know more details, which she provided

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