A wedding is truly one of the most beautiful moments in people’s lives. It’s all about celebrating love with your closest ones and feeling joyful. But with so many people involved in it, there’s bound to be some differing views on everything from appetizers to songs on the playlist.

Recently, a debate over who should cover the bill for bridesmaid dresses swept across social media. It began on TikTok when a bride asked her wedding party to purchase their own gowns, choosing a style with a $250 price tag (almost $400 in AUD). The decision, or rather, the cost, ignited outrage from the bridesmaids, who refused to pay for them. This started a heated discussion in the comments, with people choosing sides.

Weddings can be stressful and sometimes drama is inevitable

Image credits: Emma Bauso / pexels (not the actual photo)

In this case, bridesmaids became outraged after finding out the cost of their dresses

“My bridal party is not happy with me right now.

When I asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding, I let them all know that they would be responsible for paying for their own dresses.”

Image credits: thebrodiebride

“They all completely understood and had no problem with it at the time. But I just sent them all the details for the dress that I would like them all to wear, and they all say that $250 for a bridesmaid dress is crazy and that I should be paying for it, not them.”

Image credits: thebrodiebride

“Any wedding I’ve ever been in, I’ve had to cover my hair, makeup, travel, and dress costs, so I’m not sure why they think I should suddenly be paying for it and not them.”

Image credits: thebrodiebride

@thebrodiebride I didn’t realize a bridesmaid dress would cause so much drama 😫💍. What’s a bride to do?! #2024bride #weddingnewspapertemplate #2023bride #bridesweatshirt #bridesmaiddrama #weddingdrama #weddingnewspaper ♬ som original – Vbedit.x🇧🇷

Let’s finally answer the age-old question: who should pay for the bridesmaid’s dresses?

Who actually pays for the bridesmaid’s dress might be unknown to first-timers, so wedding etiquette experts Diane Gottsman and Gabriella Risatti weighed in on this and provided answers to the age-old question.

Generally, bridesmaids in the US and Australia are expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories, regardless of who is making the final call on them. They may also have to foot the bill for hair and makeup appointments and transportation to the wedding. It’s not considered rude and shouldn’t start any quarrels like this one as long as there’s open communication and a realistic budget.

However, according to Risatti, such old-school rules are slowly going out of fashion. If the bride has the money, it’s a very thoughtful gesture for her to pay for the dress, or at least a portion of it. We see more and more brides doing this, especially if they pick a more expensive one. For example, in the UK and Ireland, it’s customary to do so, with 75% of couples covering the cost of attire.

That said, bridesmaids should be prepared to cover these costs once they accept the offer. It’s the bride who needs to let everyone know about the upcoming financial responsibilities from the beginning. Even though money can be a taboo topic, it’s also important for bridesmaids to be honest when expenses become too much for them.

Image credits: Dewey gallery / pexels (not the actual photo)

Accepting to be a bridesmaid might cost you thousands

Considering the cost of dresses, Gottsman says they can range anywhere from $100 to upwards of $800. The average comes to $130 per person, which still seems like a lot, especially for a dress that you will most likely wear once.

Not to mention other commitments like bachelorette parties, bridal showers, gifts, and travel expenses that can add up to thousands of dollars. A 2019 survey in America found that more than a third of respondents went into debt over their friend’s wedding. Just 20% said they managed to keep their spending under $500.

If it happens that a member of the bridal party can’t afford a dress, Risatti recommends the couple step in and cover the cost. This should be done privately, as other bridesmaids might feel disregarded. She also suggests that the bride picks the gowns as early as possible, so everyone has enough time to save up for them. Checking beforehand to see if the store offers a payment plan is also a good idea.

Another alternative is to opt for mismatched dresses. Bridesmaids can each select different gowns within the same color scheme, which helps to find a pretty, flattering style that doesn’t break the bank. It also adds more visual interest to the group’s look. And you never know; someone might have one hanging in their closet, fitting the theme perfectly and saving even more bucks.

If you are on an even tighter budget or want a more sustainable wedding, try thrifting them in second-hand stores. Not only is it cheaper and minimizes waste, but it can also be a great activity to do with your girlfriends. Just imagine the unique gowns collecting dust in charity shops that can add a special touch to your celebration.

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Whatever you decide to do, make sure to address everything directly to the girls when asking them to be your bridesmaids. Be transparent about their financial obligations beforehand, so there are no unpleasant surprises. This will help to avoid any disagreements or tension leading up to your big day, unlike the bride in this story. 

Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / pexels (not the actual photo)

The OP chatted in the comments about the situation

Commenters had various opinions on who should pay

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