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Bride Doesn’t Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out
It’s entirely up to the newlyweds what their most awaited day in life is gonna be like. But often, they do surprise their guests and not necessarily in a good way with the decisions they make. Like, asking their guests after they already RSVPed to pay for their meals and not understanding why the guests suddenly feel uncomfortable.
Well, this is exactly what happened to one anonymous guest who “received the most beautiful wedding invitation and responded well before the deadline with our choice for dinner and space for two.” The author wrote that a couple of days later, they received a follow-up voice message thanking them for responding and asking them to pay $75 per food per person.
Now the confused guest wants to ask people if “anyone has heard of this happening?” adding that this is not a destination wedding. Scroll down through the whole story below and be sure to share what you think of the incident in the comment section!
RELATED:
Recently, one confused wedding guest shared how they responded to invitation ahead of the deadline, requested a plus one, and selected their meal options
Image credits: wetv
Then, they received a follow-up voice message thanking them for the RSVP and requesting a $150 fee for the food they’re going to eat, which was not indicated before
Image credits: Ldeezy
Image credits: Tara Winstead (not an actual photo)
The author later added an update
Image credits: Ldeezy
Image credits: Ldeezy
Image credits: Ldeezy
Image credits: Jordan Arnold (not an actual photo)
“I honestly never heard any bride and groom asking their guests to pay for their food,” Aurelie Della Maggiore, the luxury wedding planner and event designer at Lucy Till French Weddings, told Bored Panda.
She added: “That’s also not something I will recommend to my client to do. If you don’t have the budget to afford a wedding dinner, then my advice will be to cut the guest numbers and to a have a intimate wedding, or to do a stand-up cocktail instead of a formal served dinner to try to cut the costs down.”
Aurelie also said that “if you plan to have your guests pay for something at your wedding, such as transportation or extra activities, I will recommend adding that information into your wedding website but maybe not into the formal invitation.”
And this is how people reacted to the whole incident
Others got on board and shared more bridezilla stories
What do you think ?
GirlFriday 2 years ago
My niece was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and she happily said yes because she is close to the couple. The next week, she and the rest of the wedding party got an email from the bride and groom with what they would be expected to spend. First and foremost was that each member of the bridal party was to pay $2,500 for "the privilege of being in the wedding" and it went on from there with the expected costs of dresses, tuxes, $1,000 each for the cost of the bachelor and bachelorette parties, gifts of no less than $250 for the engagement party and $500 for the reception, etc. She called the bride and asked if it was a joke. When she was assured it wasn't, niece noped right the eff out of the bridal party.
- 2 years ago
$2,500 admission? Wow. That's a corporate merger, not a marriage! And "privilege"??? Are they celebrities who shall remain unnamed or just legends in their own minds?
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- 2 years ago
$75 per person will get you a nice hassle-free meal at a local restaurant. You get to support a local business and leave a good tip for your server.
Joe Edwards 2 years ago
I can take my GF and daughter for a good meal at a restaurant and pay $75 TOTAL
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Vivian Ashe 2 years ago
Middle class American Gen Xer here. When I was growing up, big fancy weddings were the exception, and I never knew anyone who had a destination wedding. Most "ordinary" people would have their wedding reception in their parent's backyard, with a few relatives providing a potluck-style dinner for the guests. Or they'd rent out an inexpensive space like a church hall or community center. I feel like social media influencers have convinced this generation that they have to have a celebrity-style wedding that they can't afford. Considering that this generation has so many more pressing expenses like housing costs and student loan debt, this seems like such a frivolous luxury to fixate on.
WildHoneyPie 2 years ago
That is how we did it in 1996. We had a wedding in a small church in the mountains. The minister wasn't even going to charge us because he had forgotten our initial meeting and stood us up. But we gave him his fee anyway of course. Then we had a reception in my sister's house with my whole family pitching in with cold cuts and rolls, etc. We did have a wedding cake but it was very simple. People loved our wedding! You don't have to be so elaborate.
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Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Any event you invite people to, you are hosting them. That means, you are footing the bill. If they give you a cash gift and you use it to offset expenses, then fine. However. Gifts are a bonus, not expected, and none of your guests [non-hosts] should be charged as though they are at a restaurant, or going on a cruise.
VM37 2 years ago
If I invite someone to a drink or a cup of coffe, I will be paying the bill, bc I invited them to come. Same goes for parties and wedding.
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Houseof No 2 years ago
Did no one explain to this bridezilla the difference between a WEDDING and a FUNDRAISER? They are NOT the same thing. Perfect wedding gift for this Bridezilla is a dictionary. Be sure to bookmark and highlight the definition of HOSPITALITY.
M 2 years ago
Omg. Yes! Love this comment so much. These entitlement children need to wait because they are definitely not ready for marriage.
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phil blanque 2 years ago
Ha...the funny thing is that she probably already has a contract with the food vendor for x many meals. She will be obligated to pay this even if no one attends.
S 2 years ago
I would have sent back the invitation with HAHAHAHA no written across it. But I'm a b***h, so
Mewton’s Third Paw 2 years ago
Easy. If you’re poor enough that you have to ask your friends to pay $75 each for dinner, then your friends are too poor to pay. If your friends are rich enough that $75 a plate isn’t a big deal, then you’re rich enough to just pay it yourself.
Grim Shady 2 years ago
I would agree for the most part, but I have friends from many social circles and economic levels. My wife and I did a community BBQ celebration after our wedding. Cheap, fun, casual, and family friendly.
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Christian Cartmale 2 years ago
Honestly, at my wedding, my wife, her parents, my parents, one of my aunt's and I paid for everything. We catered for 100 people for $2500 or something like that which we split with her parents, rented a big pavilion, set the venue at her folks' ranch (just a house with a horse stable across the driveway) and everyone parked in the pasture. I provided a few cases of beer and two bottles of wine per table of 5. We knew we weren't going to have alot of drinking guests. Ultimately towards the end of the night, I walk up to this little table that I hadn't noticed earlier and I asked my wife where all these bags and s**t came from, asked if we had changed our wedding favours. At this moment she informed me, "No you dumb dumb, these are all our wedding presents" What someone is bringing you for your wedding, should be the last thing on your mind. How much they need to pay you should not be on your mind period. These are the people who raised you, who loved you. They don't owe you.
Randolph Croft 2 years ago
If a couple is getting married, and money is tight, have a less grandiose wedding. That's how humans do it. Some of the most enjoyable weddings were in parks, as picnics (like, provincial parks, not city parks. Lakes and tables and stuff.) We were all working poor, we did fine. These people are entitled jerks.
Bobbi McGough Robert 2 years ago
We kept our wedding to what we could afford. It was a great day, and so far the marriage has lasted for 46 years. Looks like we came out ok!
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Munchkin 2 years ago
i would rather eat a raw onion than come to your wedding have a nice life~
Esiaa 2 years ago
More like I'd rather put a tabasco sauce in my eyes than come to your wedding. Demanding money like that and expecting people to agree is a quick way to lose contact with your family and friends.
Load More Replies... Pangolin Pal 2 years ago
Every time I read one of these PandaPosts about horrible brides and grooms demanding all kinds of expensive contributions from people who are supposed to be their GUESTS at big, over-the-top weddings, I remember with delight the very best wedding I ever attended, back in the 1980s, when my little sister married her college sweetheart (who is still, today, the world's greatest bro-in-law and the joy of my sister's life). They got married at the county courthouse, with me and my dad in attendance, doubling as witnesses and "guests." After the wedding, the four of us went to a wonderful Lebanese restaurant near the courthouse and ate a big celebratory vegetarian lunch, with lots of wine and happiness. The moral to my story is: it's the MARRIAGE that matters, not the "wedding." My sis and bro-in-law have a deeply loving, joyful 30+ year marriage, and their 15-minute courthouse wedding was the happiest day of their lives, as well as mine and our very proud dad's.
Mary Kayser 2 years ago
That is worse than tacky! Seriously, if you can't afford a wedding, you can have a small event. You can still wear a pretty dress and have a nice celebration, but you CAN NOT ask anyone for money, EVER! This is unbelievable! I wonder if anyone attended.
Seanette Blaylock 2 years ago
There's a difference between asking and demanding, of course.
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Aubrie Allen 2 years ago
Ok that's a ton of money for dinner. Why not ask your guests to bring a dish and have a pot luck dinner if you're strapped for cash?
Seanette Blaylock 2 years ago
Not Instagram-Princess-extravaganza enough.
Load More Replies... Dave P 2 years ago
I have a friend from a culture where people give money as a "gift" that covers their portion of the wedding. However they dont tell you, you find out through the grapevine how much. And they calculate the amount based off of those they know who cannot afford and "outsiders" like who were invited. They say it was to allow poorer people to have lavish weddings like everyone else. Though the rich have much more lavish weddings, but the average cost per person is the same as the other weddings (lots of cultural norms I learned about how much the costs can be), and then close relatives and friends give addiditonal cash to the new couple to help them start out. Great experience that wedding, and dear god they had so much food, just platters after platters on each table, and when one was empty a new one was places, with so much new food for me.
Giovanna 2 years ago
Somehow this is the custom where I live, Northern Italy. You usually can choose between a specific gift from a list made by the bride/groom, or you can give money. It's usually around 100€ anyway, and that's all.
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Suz66 2 years ago
If I'm going to spend $150 for my spouse and I, I'd rather go to a fancy steakhouse or something. Plan a wedding within your means. Our reception was classy but in my in-laws backyard. My father-in-law smoked briskets for days. We had a friend (professional caterer) do the side dishes (we paid her,) and another friend (professional baker,) make a cupcake cake, paid for by us. We had a great turnout and everyone was happy. The guests enjoyed a meal on us. Plus we didn't blow a lot of money for it.
Debra Adams 2 years ago
That is the best thing to do. More fun and guests don’t have to feel pressured
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Lp Johnson 2 years ago
I got wed in front of an "officiant" in the lower level of the country building then had a yard party/BBQ as a reception. Didn't change a THING about our loving relationship, and didn't factor in the tragic loss of him a mere year later. Seriously people, there are SO many more important things.
Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
If you can't afford to pay for the wedding yourself... you can't have a wedding that costs that much
GenericPanda09 2 years ago
If my family want someone at a wedding and we know they can't afford it, then we all chip in behind the scenes so they don't even know about the cost, if we want lots of people there and can't afford it - we wait till we can or we have small ceremonies and larger night parties where no one is having a meal.... what is the point in starting off your married life getting into debt or making other people feel uncomfortable to either be there or to be priced out of being there when they'd have liked to? I don't get it.
- 2 years ago
I worked with someone who had similar: a meal for a smaller group, then others could come for the party afterwards.
Load More Replies... Giovanna 2 years ago (edited)
Is this a common thing to do where you live, asking wedding guests to pay for dinner? This is def not a thing in Italy, although guests usually end up giving a gift/money which is more or less what the bride and groom payed for the dinner, so it ends up being even so to speak.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
I'm in the South of the United States and have never heard of this.
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Ann Umland 2 years ago
My husband bartended at a wedding several years ago. He asked for a $60 few, because he would have tips. There was a tip jar on the bar, which people were putting money in when the got drinks. At the end of the night, the MOB said the tip jar was place there for the couple. Apparently, they didn't know that bartenders were tipped. I had not heard of a couple getting tips on top of gifts. I'm sure many of the guests leaving tips had not either. They split the tips in half. Not classy.
Maxie Mills 2 years ago
I was once invited to the wedding of a colleague. I did not know that at the time it was expected to give a gift of money equivalent to what they paid for the plate in the gift card. I placed $35 in the card and after his honeymoon he told me that I owed him $15. I didn't give it to him because I felt if he wanted $50 per person he should have told me in which case I would have declined. I rarely have spent $50 on dinner.
Sherelle Griffin 2 years ago
Well that was crass of him. Even if you knew and couldn't afford more or simply didn't want pay that much it's in poor taste to ask for $15.
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Jo Choto 2 years ago
There appears to be a whole generation of zillas who think that their wedding is simply a money grab and that everyone who knows them is obligated to play and pay. Wedding party members and guests need to just back out of these ridiculous performances.
Altezzoso Burton 2 years ago
The zillas' parents were probably like this, too. But no social media back then so...
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Li Nicho 2 years ago (edited)
I was an add one guest to a wedding. I was acquainted but no friends with both bride and groom. I scraped together two crispy new $20 bills (forty dollars) as a gift. Afterwards the wife said l at least should have gave $50. Ungrateful dog!!. That married couple didn't attend my wedding or respond with a decline because one of them was bothered by the condition that USPS delivered the mail. So they could have at least returned my $40 USD. 😆😆😆 I don't bother with befriending people like that. I distance myself from relatives like that. Don't think about them or speak about them. Until I am reminded about them. And by the way the guy I was dating did not give a gift and was never approached for one. Bless you.
Christina Wood 2 years ago
I think people don't know what a wedding reception is anymore. reception itself means to receive guests well wishes and support from family and close friends... growing up in New England Irish mid to low income generally our families and older people from our community would organize a massive potluck for the dinner and the amount of variety and spread would smoke anything you'd get on a plate for 75 bucks. most gifts would be homemaking in nature.. sheets dishes sometimes a smaller group would go in on a whole bedroom or living room set for the new couple WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A NICE PARTY AND SET LOVED ONES UP FOR THEIR LIFE TOGETHER.. how weird right.. monetary gifts at a wedding are considered in poor taste in our community... it's considered rude to showboat what you have to offer because perhaps someone else can't do as much.. usually money gifts are given at the "Kaylee" which is kind of like a shower or a social gathering the very night before the wedding .
Tricia Georgetti 2 years ago
Weddings are NOT I REPEAT NOT ABOUT THE PARTY! Too many people want a party not a marriage. My twin sis & I were in a bridal party once when we was 24. We had been friends with the bride since we were 5. We paid for her whole shower appx $3k @ 24y/o its a s**t ton of mone. No one in the bridal party or her fam chipped in. She had give us a diet plan. She was 5ft & weighed 98lbs soaking wet the other girls were similar size to her. After the shower we were out shopping she and she asked the girl at Mac what my sis & I could do to cover our red faces we're partIrish The girl suggestes we get spray painted, to which she told me we had to pay for. Last straw was at the time I was dating a Marine & she told me he couldnt come in his dress blues bc he'd be a distraction. My Uncles were Marines. 1 of which served in the Korean War. He's also our Godfather & fav person on this planet, beyond disrespectful. We called her told her to f'off & never spoke to her again that was 18yrs ago.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Wow. Just wow. Be proud of your heritage and your 'red' faces!
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Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Nothing unique going on with weddings, across all of society people, particularly young people, are regressing from civilized human beings to something more akin to sophisticated animals. My wife and I got married 18 months ago, 2nd time for both of us, and our engagement was 30 days. We had a small wedding, about 40 guests. Not our choice, we wanted all or friends there but Covid... We spent less than $2k and it was wonderful. It was about celebration, family, cherished friends and a new beginning for us. It even began to rain on us, literally during our 1st dance together. We didn't care, we just kept on dancing and considered it tears of joy from heaven! Perspective and attitude are so integral to true happiness. I wish this for all but see it less and less.
Constance Greenlee 2 years ago
BBC!!!! B be crazy! You tell a person upfront then they choose it was sneaky and underhanded which tells me a lot about what type of person she is to begin with
Bubs623 2 years ago
I never thought the gifts helped cover the cost of the wedding... in my family and friends 'circle', the bride's parents and sometimes the groom's folks would pay for the wedding and any money or gifts went to the couple getting married. It's like giving your nieces and nephews Christmas and bday gifts: each aunt and uncle is 'out' $100 bucks or so, but each niece and nephew just got a nice gift.
Gigi Bonner 2 years ago
To the recipient of this tacky and unbelievably inappropriate request- you handled it with such grace, class and dignity- I'm sure many others, including myself would have been tempted to have given a big f**k you- you are a class act!
Kristen Kidd 2 years ago (edited)
I can't imagine living my life this way. "Who are you to question what I do at my wedding?" B***h I'm the one youre demanding money from to pay for.. *whose* wedding?.. YOUR wedding? 🙄
Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
I went to a wedding as a plus one guest with my then boyfriend. I gifted $200 cash. I had never met them before and the bride was my boyfriends cousin. We bailed a little early after the reception and the next day I was trash talked by the family for not staying behind to help clean up the hall. Not him, just me. Whatever.
Louise Platiel 2 years ago
Wedding aside, people need all the facts and clear expectations in order to make an informed decision. No wonder people ended up canceling when a key part of the information was left out at the point they were asked to respond to the invitation.
David Force 2 years ago
I threw a very elaborate wedding for my daughter because I could afford it and she was an only child and a joy to raise. I suggested that we put on the invitation no gifts because my daughter really didn’t need anything and I was concerned about my guests that maybe couldn’t afford it. My wife, who is wiser than I am, said it would make our guests feel weird and uncomfortable if they didn’t give some kind of wedding gift. My wife did throw me a very large surprise 60th birthday party and I’m grateful she put on the invitation “no gifts”.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Your wife is a smart woman, people want to give and there are a variety of wedding appropriate gifts for every budget.
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Gabriel Gawrada 2 years ago
Mean trick to pull on guests, some of whom the couple might not even be that close to. A lot of it's about the gift/cash grab these days, and having a big party. Not everyone you've ever known cares that you're trying the knot.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
I have stood up in three weddings, worked in bridal floral for YEARS and I have NEVER experienced this level of entitlement. I don't hesitate to say 'bridezilla' here.
Lo Emmy O 2 years ago
Sounds like those that raised this chic did NOT teach her well. WTF? CRAZY. I would have returned her invite with Monopoly type money and said " Here, U know what u can do with this..." She also shiwed what she thinks of her "friends on the guest list by doing this...I, also, after being talked to with such ugliness and disrespect would have let her know that she was no longer welcome in my life - as it is filled with actual friends (this would include the definition of the word - it would also include the definition of 'ugly')
Evelyn Zayas 2 years ago
I've never heard of anything like this before, but my respond would have been "well I take it this is your wedding gift." Very very tacky. I would not attend.
Christina Wood 2 years ago
if this isn't going down at a wedding im not going. I'm not gonna pay for two jerks to pretend they're royalty for a day
Michael Gilbert 2 years ago
My wife and I got married for $35 at the courthouse. We've been together for a decade, and will be until death parts us. Anyone who spends thousands on a wedding is a self absorbed fool.
Shalonda Brantley 2 years ago
In all honesty,I CANNOT BELIEVE whoever this bride is, seriously thinks it's ok to say to friends & loved ones that "u may attend my wedding,but u must pay for your meal".. Uuhhmmm NO!.. it's YOUR WEDDING,YOU should have it catered ANYWAYS & let the folks attending eat for free,you cheap HEFFAH!!😂..it's unfortunate that SOME people can't just have an enjoyable wedding day WITHOUT all the BULLSPIT🙄..if u can't afford 2 feed YOUR GUEST then cut back on SOMETHING so u can afford to feed them,but DONT U DARE make them pay to eat...so NOT CLASSY
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
It is NOT cheap. I would not serve dinner at today's prices. These venues get away with stealing from you just because it's a wedding. Catering a dinner party is way cheaper.
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Lavender Oak 2 years ago
I tried to have a courthouse wedding but after checking 5 counties in my state, NONE of the offices would make appointments? In the times of covid at that?! Also in my state you have to have an ordained minister, no online certification or anything like that. So we tried to just find an officiant to marry us with just my parents there, but we had no good venue and just for a 15 minute ceremony, they're charging $500-$1500 . We started planning our Vegas wedding a week later. We'll be spending about $2500 for everything, for 2 nights and 3 days. I'm quite happy with that tbh. Instead of just a basic wedding we get a fun vacation and new experience since neither of us have been before.
Lavender Oak 2 years ago
And eventually we will have a reception/gathering for family and friends, when covid is going better and after we save up. Definitely wouldn't dream of asking any of my guests to chip in, other than the fact that we are pretty much vegetarian and I know my southern family will not survive a meatless meal. Because of that my parents offered to buy a pig from my cousin's farm and my cousin offered to smoke it. But that is their wedding gift to us, not our demand!
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Hatred Pony 2 years ago
"Recently, one guest shared..." This happened 3 years ago. Are we so desperate to create articles and get upvotes that we're digging through the depths of reddit?
K Witmer 2 years ago
They go w what's trending at the moment. This was trending again. I do wish bored panda wouldn't have these Reddit posts all together though. I don't have Reddit for a reason.
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The Cute Cat 2 years ago
My entire wedding cost is around 150 USD.. That include wedding reception in my wife house and wedding reception in my house. Yes we are very frugal.. But actually that is very normal here. Just, don't push yourself to hard for it Guys.. What you enjoy after the party is more important..
Myr Lopez 2 years ago
My partner and I will likely do a wedding in a park once we won't lose half my SSI (and half hers if she gets it) for doing so... if our friends are okay with it we might also ask for it to be a potluck since we're all fairly poor, a side dish or chips or paper plates could be in lieu of a gift. But even then, we'd make sure people were on board before sending invites, and only ask in the first place since our friends are the type to be chill with that. Plus, $10 max for potato salad or plastic utensils is a lot less than $75 per person.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
That actually gives people a way to feel they have a 'part' in the wedding too. Besides if they LOVE you they would be overjoyed to do that.
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D K 2 years ago
Whoa. My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for next March. Given that we are older (I will be 40 he will be 42, we both have a child from prior relationships, are by no means rich but “getting by”) we don’t expect anyone to pay for our wedding and certainly not the food - we are even budgeting to feed our vendors, too! The bride in this scenario is out of her mind!
hhh cubed 2 years ago (edited)
I'm not going to lie. I upvoted your comment initially because you know how to spell whoa. Then I read the rest and applaud your sense. I went to a wedding a few years ago and because I had nothing suitable to wear to such a fancy venue, I needed a new dress. Attending that wedding, including the gift and hotel, cost me, conservatively, around $500. If I didn't have savings I wouldn't have been able to attend. Weddings shouldn't cause financial hardship to the guests, in my opinion. I don't think a lot of people think of that when planning their wedding.
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Cynthia M. 2 years ago
Nope. No way. I have a hard time spending $6 for a Starbucks coffee cuz that's just a waste of money. Now some ppl want the guests/wedding party to pay for the "privilege" of being there. Big resounding NO. You get maybe a $40-50 gift. That's it .
PeachPossum 2 years ago
Gawd, I cannot decide which I find more disgusting, destination weddings or this trend of making friends and family members foot the bill for the reception meal. If you can't afford to do it yourself, then revise your plans until the cost of the event is within your budget. The only thing dumber than throwing a big bash wedding that you can't afford is throwing a $50,000 birthday party for a 1yo kid who won't remember a dang thing about it. Yrrrgh.
Tina Mercado 2 years ago
I'll say: Oh, I'll come if I can bring my own picnic basket with delicious charcuterie, a bottle of champagne and some wonderful sandwiches! (LOL). And I can stay outdoors to watch the display if there is an entrance ticket! It would not cost half as much, and I'll enjoy myself.
Terry Jensen 2 years ago
IMO in this country (USA) you do what is customary as a born and raised American. It is your responsiblity to pay for YOUR wedding NOT the guests...never! If you can't afford it then whittle it down ...can't imagine doing this and expeting to having any friends left. It amazes me that people will even think of trying to get the invites to pay for you wedding...its not just tacky its really a scam!!!
Mary Krajnovich 2 years ago
This was definitely in poor taste. I would like to say that my husband and I are for the most part on one income with 3 lids. We cannot afford to pay 150.00 for food and then a a gift. I understand the "gift price should equal the price of the meal" rule but we generally cannot even afford that. I think you should plan your wedding to be one you can afford, and passing the cost onto the guests is really tacky. Yes it IS YOUR DAY.... you chose the details, not the guests. Also I think to ambush people after they rsvp'd because you decoded to offset the cost of your expensive flowers and gown is just garbage. If pulling one over on people is your daily MO, delete me from your life completely.
Kim Kelley-Borzello 2 years ago
Let's be honest, a wedding reception is just a big, expensive party and I can't imagine throwing a dinner party, inviting people and having them pay for their meals. I had friends who got married. They both had huge families and friends they wanted in attendance. They rented space at a gorgeous park on a mountain top. About 20 of us brought camp stoves and volunteered to cook The bride and groom bought breakfast ingredients. The ceremony was at dawn on the mountain top and was beautiful. It was such a fun reception and for $1000 the couple was able to host around 150 people. The point is that there are ways to host a reception that don't cost $75 a plate.As a bonus, you get to keep your friends and aren't turned into the laughingstock of the family.
LeLe Lightell 2 years ago
Ha! My ex husband and I were invited (last minute) to his cousin's wedding dinner. We got all dressed up because neither one of us had eaten at that restaurant before. After we picked our meals, it was than passed around the table that we were to pay for our own food. My ex and I were not prepared to pay and if it had not been for my mother and father in law paying, I'm not sure how the night would have ended. We did not go to the wedding. That whole night left a bad taste in our mouths!
Laura Torres 2 years ago
Weddings are a complete waste of money and start a new marriage off with debt and stress!! Buy a house instead.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
That's what we did...small wedding with just family and close friends and bought a house.
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Laura Collins 2 years ago
I wonder if the parents of the bride and groom know that they are doing this? If I were the mother of the bride I would absolutely put my daughter in her place, its embarrassing.
Ronja Borkmann 2 years ago
My wedding is coming up in a couple of months and I am super excited. My soon to be husband told me that it is usual for Irish guests to give a money present which unofficial will cover the cost of their dinner. I have not informed anybody about the cost (which also would be 75€) and am not planning on doing so. I have not planned anything for which I do not have the money already, therefore I am not counting on everybody actually giving that money. At the end, any money present will be a bonus for us, but the day will be amazing either way. I definitely cannot understand how couples can expect everyone on paying any bigger amount on money for their wedding. They invite guests and not fundraisers. And even if financial help is needed I believe it can be asked for in a respective manner.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Do you pay for your own weddings? In the US the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. (We had to pay for some things because our parents could not afford everything). Any monetary gifts are for the couple. That would be weird to have to give it to my parents (since they paid for the majority of the wedding), right?
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Laura Eichensehr 2 years ago
I cannot believe the audacity of some people, when it comes to their weddings! I would never want to make my friends and family uncomfortable, or stressed about money. These are people that I care about. In fact, I wrote a message in my wedding invitations that stated that the only gift we wanted was the gift of their presence, on our special day. How selfish does one have to be to stress their loved ones out about money, and clothing specifications, and gift minimums, etc. Get over yourself already!!! Your "special" day shouldn't be a nightmare for everyone else, you thoughtless, self-centered brat!!! My weekends are way too precious to deal with anyone who is rating my worth over how well I adhered to all of their wedding rules and how big their gift was. Hell no....I'm good!
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
I had friends from college that lived out of state. I so wanted to go to their wedding, but I was still in college and poor. I knew if I went, I couldn't bring a gift. So I opted to send them a check for the would-be price of my airfare. I figured they could use the money more than my presence. Yes I missed out, and they probably didn't miss me. This was before Facebook, but now with Facebook, you can miss parties and still feel like you went cuz of all the pictures that get shared. I still don't know if I made the right decision or if they would have preferred my presence. But we are still friends and I can always look at their wedding photos. :)
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Darlene Fierro 2 years ago
I grew up in a time where people either married in a church or rented a hall and married there. Either way there was a hall for the reception and after that night a dance. Someone, usually an uncle or someone close made Asado outside in a disco. Other family members made beans, rice, potato salad, brisket etc Sometimes you had servers other times you had family member volunteers. But everyone stayed and cleaned up. Went home to rest a bit and came back for the dance. Depending on how long the night went people stayed to clean up or came back the next morning to clean so the couple got their deposit back.🤷♀️ of course there were decorations and a big cake but it was about getting together and celebrating the marriage. Now there is so much pressure to make it a production so that you can post it on IG or Tik tok or Fb. But for what? To be broke? All those likes and hearts won't matter a few days from then. The next big thing will be happening the next day and your in debt.
Gayle Valencheck 2 years ago
I have to wonder if the bride was possibly just extremely ignorant? And possibly very spoilt, too. But did any one bother to educate the foolish girl that it just doesn't work that way. That asking guests to pay is simply not usual, normal, or even acceptable. That it is traditional for the couple and their parents to pay for the entire event. I would have been curious to know her answer.
Sparrow Gael 2 years ago
I have heard of this happening. It seems to be the thing now. That said, I think it's wrong. That is like inviting people to a party and charging a huge cover fee. And...I'm sorry ... Anyone who opts to have an enormously expensive wedding ($25,000? Really???) Should make sure they can afford it. Sounds like this lady may be paying for a hall and a band and other expenses for just her immediate family. I would not attend. I think OP did it true.
DSbar 2 years ago
Something like this happened to me and my friends, we went to a wedding (civil union) and the actual ceremony was other day, but they invited us to it as well, and because my husband was the best friend of the groom, we went to the civil union as well (I don't know how weddings are in the States, but here, usually, there's two ceremonies, the more "informal" one -civil union- and then the religious one, the actual party, with the dress and all that, and mostly they're in two different days). The thing is, you're expected to go to lunch after the civil union, we were not going to stay for that, because they only invited us lightly and we didn't want to impose. Thing is, when we were about to leave, they INSISTED we stay, so, out of politeness, we did. After lunch ar a restaurant, they started gathering money to pay for ir, and MANY ordered wine and expensive drinks, we don't drink alcohol, but we had to split the bill in equal parts!!
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Yikes! The nerve of them to strongarm you like that! After reading all these comments, I think I would be terrified to attend a reception at a restaurant.
Load More Replies... Christina Wood 2 years ago
money is stuffed down deep into the basket... the idea of monetary attention in any aspect of a union in love marriage or in the "the house of God" if that's your way is extremely shameful and inappropriate. taking money out and exchanging it in any way before or during the wedding is tantamount to whipping your d**k out on the dance floor. OH. THE BAR IS FREE. usually the bride's family stocks it.. not hard and fast on that but there's usually enough booze to float a ship but if you're getting too loud and rowdy you'll be told to take a lap outside
Milady Blue 2 years ago
Wow, the last wedding I went to served Subway sandwiches, which were actually quite good. The ceremony was unique, since the bride and the groom were married sitting on their Harleys in the chapel, while the minister was on his own Harley.
Patricia Butler 2 years ago
She forgot to tell them that there's also a cash bar, a two drink minimum, and a cover charge at the door.
Lori Williams 2 years ago
So f@*king tacky, to demans your guests pay for the "privilege " of attending. There are many ways to keep costs down. It all depends on who the B&G (or the parents) are trying to impress.
Stealthee 3k 2 years ago
I've never spent $75 on dinner, let alone $150. I would have told the bride where she could shove it and washed my life of her very existence.
Dargonhuman 2 years ago
When my wife and I got married, we had the ceremony at a local park (free), got a cake from a local grocery store (about $10), got a stack of Little Ceasars Hot N Ready pizzas ($25), flatware and drinks from Dollar Tree (about $20) and told the guests to dress office casual as it was goimg to be hot that day. It was a great day and we kept it well within our budget. I don't get the "need" to spend an entire mortgage's worth of money on a single day event that most of the people going won't even remember. The wedding day isn't what's important anyway - what's important is all of the days afterward.
NamiKoa 2 years ago
I wonder to what extent it’s solely on „The Bride“. In all these kinds of posts it’s some bride from hell hitching herself to a hapless, innocent man and acting completely unacceptable or demanding ridiculous things - all on her own. This whole image of bridezillas does everyone injustice: both the women who are portrayed as insane, selfish monsters as well as the men who appear to be passive, voiceless bystanders in their own wedding. Yes, for our wedding I made many suggestions that my husband could choose a preference from, but there were also aspects that were important to him. At no point ever was there any aspect that I just went with without discussing and okaying it with him - or vice versa.
Christina Hill 2 years ago
This is outrageous! We did ask people to help with food but specified that we would like to do a potluck style buffet instead of gifts. Everyone had a great time. The memories you make are more important than overpriced food.
Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago
I'm sorry. This is so low class. YOU DON'T INVITE A TON OF PEOPLE TO YOUR WEDDING THEN ASK THEM TO PAY FOR SHÏT. That is some seriously BASIC BS. If you can't afford to pay $75 a person for 100 guests, have TWENTY & find cheaper food to serve. Our wedding 18 years ago consisted of a catered buffet & full fancy cocktail bar for 50 people (including our governor, doctors, attorneys, and a couple of CEOS--which I only mention because those types of people usually expect a very high-brow wedding experience), and every one of them said it was the funnest wedding they'd ever been to. The entire wedding, including rooms for out of town guests, my wedding dress, his & my kids' tuxes & dresses, the reception hall, catering, decorations, & open bar, cost less than $7,000. Because what's the point of spending $50,000-$100,000 on something that is super fancy & way over the top, when marriages have a 50% chance of survival, & the number one strain on marriages is financial instability?
Lori Oostendorp 2 years ago
Sounds like a shakedown to me........that bride was worse than a bridezilla! Talk about feeling entitled! I'd have noped out of that in a heartbeat too! And no more friendship either......with friends like her who needs enemies?
Débora Ceia 2 years ago
Okay. Thought I would share because we have a different culture in Portugal. In Portugal guests ask how much is the lunch/diner going to be per plate so they can pay. That's the wedding gift. But the way she presented it was odd. Like I never saw a couple asking for it, but is costumary and expected in here
Ember Hermin 2 years ago
"Who are you to ask about what I'm doing for my wedding?" One of the people you're inviting and asking to pay for it wtf This all could have been avoided with a delicious potluck wedding
Jill Tremblay 2 years ago
I would have liked to have heard from the husband to be on this. Wonder what he's like. Jeez, I wonder if the wedding actually happened....
joi 2 years ago
in 1990 awesome partner and i spent $200 to wed. Officiant who kept talking about some gawd dude cost $75, my flowers $25. I wore tie-dye. Partner's parents brought a Fedco sandwich tray, Martinelli's cidar and cake baked by family friend. No toasters; a handful of friends gathered in backyard of rental; all brought weed. non pics; just memories. Entertainment was our dealer telling stories and a friend's kid getting drunk. Caught an unwanted pregnancy that night because we forgot condoms. K's three procedures for hip dysplasia and childhood spent in hip spica casts impoverished us for years. enjoy partner's nature pics. |https://sites.google.com/view/cardinalbirds/potholder-gallery
Brent Jones 2 years ago
The most beautiful wedding I have ever attended was for my niece. There is an open air chapel in the wild wood were we live that anyone can use and its free. There is a large pavilion near by that is too. The only thing you need to do is reserve it. The family made the food, flower arrangements and decorations. A friend of the family is a preacher and performed the ceremony. I did the video and photography. Everything came out amazing and the photos showed the love between her and her husband on her special day. It was magical!
Nic Soderman 2 years ago
Why are weddings so expensive (usually)? Because you pay for every effing thing so that the guests don't have to...
Brittany Liles 2 years ago
I want to know what she's planning to serve for $75pp. My grandma and mom made our food and it was delicious, meaningful, and inexpensive!! If my wedding dress wasn't so tight I would have pigged out!! Also, it was beautiful, the food does not have to cost YOU lol but definitely NOT YOUE GUESTS!! Still for $75pp it seems the bride and groom are MAKING MONEY on their guests!
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
My wedding reception costed $75 per person. It is real and it is stealing. These venues think they can charge an arm and a leg just because it's a wedding. Sometimes you don't have a choice but to use their services, without getting into details.
Load More Replies... Public Citizen 2 years ago
$75 per ? No thank You. Dinner [at a nice restaurant with a menu ~we~ choose] and a movie costs less than that, we don't have to dress up, and we'll have a better time. Plus with the cost of gas, we don't have to take out a loan for travel expenses.
Destiny Harrison 2 years ago
People need to stop with this nonsense. Live within your means and if you can't afford to feed everyone your inviting maybe scale back? It's not about how nice or how much you got that day anyway. It's amazing how many people don't know this.
Tasha Helphenstine 2 years ago
Listen up Bridezillas! Just bcuz some dumbass finally decided to marry you doesn't grant you the right to be a complete monster devoid of decency, caring, consideration, appreciation & above all else GRATITUDE! To think you somehow get a pass to be a completely wretched human being. No ma'am! just because you've dreamed of this huge wedding since you were 5 does not mean I give 3 shits, 2 damns or 1 f**k about contributing 1 dime to your special day-that does not mean I have been dreaming of being a part of it. You want to save a few bucks, fine but don't ask you guests to pony up and cut your costs. Might be shocking to hear but NO ONE wants to go to ANYONES wedding if it's going to cost them$$. Stop thinking your special day is special to anyone but YOU! THE GIFT your guests give you is their presence, their joy, their happiness & their toasts to you. Thinking you've a right to anything more than that makes you someone I'd rather not know. Peace Bitchy Becca.
Janet Goodfellow 2 years ago
I don't think anyone should charge anything from their guests. When my husband I got married we did a potluck dinner and made all the food the night b4 our wedding and we never cared about money or gifts we just wanted our family and friends to be there when we got married. Everything is so materialistic now. How about just enjoying life and being around good people.
AzKhaleesi 2 years ago
this is insane. First off.... 25k for a wedding is insanity. I just got married in december, it was a beautiful "Rustic Christmas" wedding. Cost me less than 8k. And most of that was the venue / photographerS. Everything else I DIY'd. Like EVERYTHING. Every decoration, Invites all that. We didn't even do "save the dates" I think that's stupid. We just send our invites out early so people could reserve the time etc. On the invites I did put that in Lieu of wedding gifts we were asking for honeymoon donations but was of course optional." Hubby and I are older and we already bought our home and all that, we didn't really NEED anything. And guess what? We recieved a few cute tangible gifts but everyone pretty much reciprocated and we got gorgeous heartfelt cards to keep and our whole honeymoon (two week two destinations to include airfare, hotel, spending money, shopped on a budget) ended up being paid for by our family and friends - granted - we know how to shop on a budget.
Elizabeth Molloy 2 years ago
We couldn't afford to pay for venue, meals, etc., so we had a tiny wedding, parents only. Gave everyone two weeks's notice, and they were sworn to secrecy. Ate at a local pub, decorated my own cake, seaside B&B for the honeymoon. It was lovely!
Lisa Shaw 2 years ago
This is right up there with the couple that charged $3.50 for a slice of the wedding cake, payable at the wedding and then spent the days after the wedding reviewing the video surveillance and contacting people who had more than one piece and demanding they cashapp them the money right away!
Angela Jensen 2 years ago
You know...this would be like inviting people over to your house for dinner then billing them at the end of the meal. The very word "reception" indicates you as the bride and groom are receiving guests, which indicates that you are the person responsible for the cost...not the guest. The reception is for the people in attendance to thank them for sharing in your special day. Yes, please give me an expensive gift and money for your food. Heck, just pay for my wedding too. After all... it's *MY* special day.
Tina Newman 2 years ago
We couldn't afford to have a big dinner for the people who came to our wedding reception. So we did not have a big dinner. We advised that there would be finger foods. We supplied the finger foods and the champagne. But we would never ever have asked everybody to come to a huge dinner and pay 75 bucks a piece to be there.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
We did finger foods, sandwiches and desserts and no one left hungry
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Barbara Yates 2 years ago
This is a hard pass for me even if I can afford it. Like many said you want a gift and I pay for my meal? You are obviously forging ahead on something you cannot afford. Nothing wrong with not affording or low key doing something you can afford. I would more respect I'm sorry I'm not able to invite you but if you want to bless us with a gift from our registry or a monetary gift we thank you in advance or something like that but uh uh I'm changing my acceptance and with no guilt because not only was I reprimanded for asking why but telling me pay or don't come...gladly sweetheart remove my name from your guest list...now if I already purchased a gift for you...lucky you will still get it but if I have not lucky me.
T. D. P. B. 2 years ago
22 years ago I'm positive we spent less than $10,000 and had a nice service and reception without demanding our loved ones CASH US OUT! This is some of tackiest, rudest, BS I've ever heard. It's your wedding, the couple and their parents pay, the guests are just that, guests who came to celebrate us and bring love and gifts/cash
Britt_Max 2 years ago
I will never understand this. I’m the least people-pleasing person I know, but the whole point of having a wedding is to celebrate with people you care about. We just wanted to make it as fun and easy as possible for our friends & family to attend. Of course our wedding was about us as a couple, but we also wanted to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves. But then again we actually LIKE all the people we invited, they weren’t just there as some type of prop or seat-fillers.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Wouldn't making it as easy as possible on the guests include providing dinner? (Which is where the venues make all their money). They get away with murder simply because it's a wedding and it isn't right. I told my venue I'd pay $30 a person, but $60 is just stealing. But if you have no choice but to have a week night wedding after everyone gets off work, don't you think you should serve dinner? If you serve just cake, when exactly are they supposed to eat a real meal? That was my dilemma and ended up having to pay $60 per person for BUFFET STYLE, which is insane to me, PLUS $5 per person for the cake, plus $3 each hors d'oeuvres x2. That's > $18,000 right there. I see weddings as a huge family affair, a reunion, a celebration, everyone, extended and otherwise, attends. It was VERY VERY hard for me to not invite some friends because we simply could not afford it. So, we had 250 and we even had some people invite themselves to our reception. We probly had 210-230 attend the reception.
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Gwen Johnson 2 years ago
Weddings are supposed to be about bride and groom not a show ..save your money and wish them well...stay home. They need well wishes more than you need a cold inedible meal anyway
Noel Leydon-lewis 2 years ago
You want them at ur wedding you pay there meal. Its a gift for them to share ur happyness. We paid 175 euros for each person meal and then added in first drinks cause we want them to see us on our day. If someone told me to pay for the price i would like "go and jump" with that when going to weddings we always give money that hopefully covers the meal and more of we can. to help the new couple
Maxie Mills 2 years ago
When I got married I planned on it being just me and my husband. He wanted guests . We were getting married at Niagara Falls. We invited a few people and told them that if they wanted we could go to the Casino buffet afterwards. On the invitation I told them they would have to pay for their own meals and that we did not except gifts. We had about 30 people attend. It was a beautiful day. Out of that about 20 came to the buffet. I provided wedding cake. The Casino wouldn't allow me to bring champagne. They were nice and gave us a private room. I still feel tacky that I couldn't pay for everyone's meal. Besides that it was a beautiful affair.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
If your husband wanted guests, he should have saved up the $$$ to pay for their meals. Expecting them to pay just because it's at a restaurant and not a catered reception is still bad form. I don't mean for you to feel bad, as you knew better, but you need to be the guide in these matters and put your foot down when your husband has other ideas. Husbands often require a LOT of training.
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Gianna 2 years ago
I am guessing she's marrying someone and what was their thought of this? I wonder if the partner even knew about this, if so, then they are meant for each other. Anyway, the bride is very rude, ghetto and being a b***h. I hope no one showed up and she realized what an ass she is being. These stories, if they are true, seems to be happening more often than none. I can't believe the parents of the bride and groom didn't try to talk to the b***h about this.
HVAC Dispatch 2 years ago
Ohhhh, I get it. She simply wanted guests to eat beforehand. She's funny, adding the $150 after receiving rsvps. Her- "Pay to eat, it's my wedding!" Guests- "Please change our rsvp to decline."
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago (edited)
This is an entitled millennial and Gen Z young person thing, especially young women. They get married out of selfish greed to get free things. It’s about securing their meal ticket. Marriage to them is about making their life easier, not about love, compromise, and being a team with their partner. It’s feminism at it’s finest, and exactly why less and less men are getting married. You selfish, stuck-up h0es can enjoy the single life broke while we enjoy the single life and our money. 🖕😆
Private 2 years ago
I have never been to a wedding where the couple told you how much they were being charged per person, nor has anyone ever requested a certain amount as a gift. When I got married, we didn't tell anyone the costs. We invited who we wanted there and if they gave a gift, great, if not, it sucked but what can you do? The one thing I DID do was keep track of who gave what so when we went to their wedding or event, we reciprocated equally. The only exception is if I knew a guest I invited didn't have the money, they got a pass, but people who I knew had it and didn't give a decent gift, that's who I reciprocated to. Some people we wanted there even tho we knew they couldn't afford a gift, and that's ok. I didn't expect anything from them, we just wanted them there.
Hannah C 2 years ago
Some people are just gross and blinded by their own self entitlement. Poor taste indeed? A Karen for a mother? Ive been to many weddings, 2 were destinations, none asked for money, usually theres a registry included if your feeling so inclined. I get annoyed when people ask for the most expensive items they can find though. But you still have options or to just bring cash as a gift to offset wedding costs. My friend in Hawaii asked for nothing because we flew there for $1600 total, with a 3 week notice and he was just thrilled his best friend was there with him. He paid for everything else. My other bestie had hers 10 hrs away in north Carolina, 3 days, 3 dinners, 3 lunches, 2 breakfasts, literally the best food I've ever had. Her rsvps requested NO gifts. But included a link to gift money towards home and honey moon if guests were so inclined. Most guests want to give you something, especially older relatives so it's good to provide a place for that. But she didn't ask for it.
Lois Forbes 2 years ago
We got married in my husband's Grandma and Grandpa's front yard (they meant the world to my husband. No place we'd rather be). My 3 girlfriends were my attendants (I told them "wear anything, just don't try to match"). My husband had his Uncle, Cousin, and best frend as best man. Inside was a lovely table set with candles, punch, and a beautiful wedding cake, made by his aunt. It was such a surprise. Then we went out for pizza and beer with a few friends of ours. We had decided to get married just 10 days before. So, with very little time and almost no input from us (other then it would be at his grandparent's house) his family gave us the perfect wedding, with wonderful memories included (for free!). We've always said we must have done something right, because this took place 43 years ago!😊
Kristie Boperson 2 years ago
The bride and groom could have saved a pretty penny by sending a less elaborate invitation. Was no one able to talk them out of this ridiculous idea? Personally, I kind of enjoyed the challenge of finding ways to make the wedding beautiful without spending a boatload of money. It's ONE day. Spend the money on a memorable vacation or as a down-payment on a home instead. That way you can keep your friends.
Cindy Temps 2 years ago
Many years ago my friend's daughter got married. On the invitation it said something like, "in lieu of gift we ask for a cash gift to help pay for the wedding." That was bad enough and was gauche, tacky and rude. I got a gift from a nice department store and ignored the begging for money. The mom, my friend, had the nerve to come up to me a few weeks after that and berate me for giving a gift instead of money. I had given her daughter a bridal shower so I brought out all my receipts to show her what i had spent on the bridal shower, which was a lot of money. And I told her it was gauche to ask for money.
ian88thebadseed 2 years ago
My husband and I got married at city hall and had a quick lunch at a local molina. Then 3 months later we had a celebration of our wedding at a friend's restaurant and explicitly said on our invites "the only gift we want is your presence at our hosted celebration." Me & the husband made all the food and decorations and all had a beautiful day!
Vicki Brown 2 years ago
When I was a child, we knew some people who got married - the daughters of people my parents knew. They had weddings followed by a cake and punch with mixed nuts and mints reception. I thought that's wat weddings were like. About 10 years later my cousin got married (first time) and he and his bride hosted a sit-down dinner. I suppose his 2nd and third weddings were similar; I didn;t attend those.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
It has NEVER been acceptable to charge guests to attend a wedding. Never. The point of the wedding is for the family to bring everyone together to celebrate the married couple, and the party is a GIFT from the family to the guests. I don't care that people are trying to normalize charging guests- it's wrong, it's disgusting, and people need to say NO to these greedy, tacky demands.
Sara Harvilla 2 years ago
It's the marriage that is important--not the wedding!!! My husband and I had a simple wedding with a cake and punch reception and then a party at our home afterward for a few close friends. It was lovely and apparently, it took. We will be married 35 years this July.
Melissa Eunson 2 years ago (edited)
We had 36 guests so it was affordable for us to pay. I've never heard of asking guests to pay!!!
Animalsrgreat 2 years ago
I’ve hosted three weddings for my children recently, and it never occurred to me to ask guests to pay for their food. If you pay for your own meal, you aren't really a guest are you? Super tacky.
Sheenagh Murphy 2 years ago
So RUDE - I can't even get my head around this!! I would NEVER charge a GUEST who was kind enough to come celebrate my special day for ANYTHING - and that includes booze. I would (and did) keep my wedding to what WE can afford - we are hosting, we are requesting them to join us!
Lingerie De Paris 2 years ago
They tryed and got shot down. Better to do that t the old way, backyard party , bowling alley or just appetizers and cheap wine or beer.
Kuroi Tsuki 2 years ago
My husband and i spend $110.00 dollars for the wedding it was just my big brother my husband and i,and we're going to be 19 years of married this year
GoddessOdd 2 years ago
I know that I am old, and in some things very old fashioned, but this is just the rudest of the rude to me. I was raised to never ask for a gift, or even hint that I expected something, and spending half a year's salary to pay for a wedding would have been the height of stupidity... unless you were very wealthy, or your parents were. I would never dream of attending any wedding that expected money from me, for any reason. For me, I would rather buy a house or furnish one with that money; I only had a wedding because my in-laws insisted, and it was very low key. The 50 or so guests seemed to all have a great time, and no one was in debt at the end of it. If you can afford to host a wedding with a $250 per plate meal, then bless you. If not, don't expect anyone else to do it for you. A cocktail reception is very nice, and a lot less expensive.
Daniel Koon 2 years ago
Are these weddings or political party fundraisers??? Unbelievable. No way in Hell would I pay it.
Artur Oliveira 2 years ago
Hi everyone. I'm Portuguese, and it's kinda "normal" for people to pay for they're meal's here. Either birthday's, weddings, party's in general. Money is expensive these day's and, has I said before, it's the "norm" for you to pay for your meal. The first question after "where" is "how much". Anyway, and saying this, even here, where the norm is for guests to pay for they're meal, it's ALSO common practice to inform the said guest how much is he gonna be out of pocket for such meal. Not saying anything led everyone of her guests to think "naturally" that the meal was included. On top of that huge mistake, she even went to the extent of asking for money "after" the guests accepted the invitation. Very distaful and inappropriate.
Vishal Babrekar 2 years ago
Seems…the bride was thinking she’s Aishwarya Rai or Angelina Jolie, so guests will have to pay to attend and witness this grand day.
Eb 2 years ago
What happened to working out how much you could afford plus anything parents wanted to contribute, setting a budget and planning based on that? How is it OK to say, this is the wedding I want and I expect everyone else to pay for it? And what will their married life be like if they can't set a budget? Crazy.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
You gotta love the class with which OP informed the bridezilla that she was in error. I haven't heard caveat used properly in a long time. Good one.
somnomania 2 years ago
weddings are such a wild concept to me, all the formality and traditions when you can accomplish the same thing in your backyard, with homemade food, your close friends and family, and comfortable clothes
Kevin Bouknight 2 years ago
For my wedding, we planned to cater it ourselves and it be a light, rather casual meal. When our church found out what we were doing, they took the reception from us and my godmother's restaurant joined in. We wound up having a feast as a wedding present. No one paid a dime and we were overjoyed. The mess the Bridezilla in this article created should make her choke on it and regret it for the rest of her life.
Jodie Clark 2 years ago
We just did cheesecakes from Sam’s Club (afterward, we had so much leftover cheesecake, and it was awesome), cookies for the kids, sparkling juice, and a simple sorbet punch. Everything else was equally within our budget but still looked nice. We didn’t even care about having a wedding, but did so for our families, so it was more important for people to be able to be there, anyway. It worked out, I think - we’ve been married almost 20 years.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Getting out of debt was one of the best days of my life! I cannot imagine spending $10, $20, $50k on something as fleeting as a wedding that I didn't have in the first place. Once you a free of debt you never want to get back in it again. Debt-free is freedom!
cherish meyer 2 years ago
If you want help off setting the cost of your wedding, don't charge people for things on the day of your wedding. Do what Manitobans do, it's called having a social. It's basically dancing and silent auction prizes and 50/50 draws and of course booze that you have to pay for (but is usually cheaper then if you were purchase a drink at a bar) once everything is paid for the money that is surplus is the money you use to help pay for your wedding or whatever you want. You get 2 big parties out of it and it always helps to offset the cost of the wedding. I know some people that made enough that the wedding cost them nothing in the end and they had their first house down-payment by the end of the social that night. And for food it's called getting a social platter, so lunch meats and garlic sausage and bread and pickles, cheese and of course all different kinds of desserts. Either donated by friends and family or purchased for the social. 2 parties to celebrate your wedding woho!
Majduneldb Hfidbrs 2 years ago
Where i live most ppl make you pay to go to their wedding...lucky us most of the population isn't married and never will be. I don't get why ppl get married if they can't afford to pay for it all but if you will ask ppl to pay their meal you say it straight ahead in the invitation not after ppl RSVPed
Joseph Fabozzi 2 years ago
I feel sorry for her partner to be I don't think I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone like this (is this by any chance Laura Trump)
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
I sincerely doubt it is LT. Everytime I've heard her speak she is very pleasant and charming.
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W. Dearth 2 years ago
I’ll gladly pay for my dinner, that means no wedding gift/cash. You’re supposed to give enough to cover your meal.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No, that is NOT a rule. There is no transaction involved between the host and guests. It's rude to expect something from a guest. It's polite for the guest to give a gift to the bride and groom, but it's meant to be a token of affection, not a contribution to offset the cost of the wedding, and the guest traditionally has a year to send the gift if they don't bring it on the day of the wedding.
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Rona Demmy 2 years ago
Very rude, I wouldn't go or send a gift, which is usually cash. When I got married we didn't have much money so my new husband's family provided all the food, each brought a dish large enough to share with 25 guests, one even cooked a large turkey for all. We received lovely gifts and cash, we were so very grateful to have such a beautiful wedding dinner. They also brought their own bottle, we supplied the pop and beer.
Rachel Betancort 2 years ago
In Spain where I live, it's an unspoken rule that you pay for what you think the meal and open bar would be and do not buy physical gifts. Around 100 euros per person (adult) No one would straight out ask for it though. No one would ever show up with a gift either. Most couples live together and already have their homes set up anyway.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
My 1st marriage cost my dad and I approx 5k and that included a 2wk vacation for Mom, Dad and my 4 sibs. I basically paid for all the wedding froo~fra but I forced Dad to pay for my gown and veil (a whopping $800 for both, which is very reasonable). I think I spent far more than my folks did. We would *never* have thought to charge guests to attend the wedding! My second wedding was just signing papers in my favorite historical bar in Ypsilanti, MI. The owner's bought me and my bride a drink as our present~~more fun was had there than at my formal wedding!
Amanda Moore 2 years ago
The comment above in Asian countries it is customary to give money not gifts to bride and groom. In Japan you are invited with expectation to pay ¥30000 ($300) minimum as a friend. Dates are not usually invited until the after party. managers of groom pays at least $500 and they sit the closest to the bride and groom. Food and drinks are provided too.
Janice Parks 2 years ago
They should have had a non-alcohol option to make it cheaper. A vegetarian option and also if it’s a beef steak it better be a good cut cooked to order. Price will need to include a server. If it’s a buffet it should be cheaper, too. The price does seem high but it also depends on the venue. She could lose the bad attitude and work better with the venue.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No. The point is not for the guests to get a good value for their money. The POINT is that the bride and groom should not be asking for a cent from their guests. It's absolutely wrong to do this.
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Web Mailroom 2 years ago
At one afternoon wedding I attended, the bride and groom made people wait for the reception over the dinner hours without providing even a few snacks. Everyone assumed some food was going to come. When no snacks or meals appeared after an hour or so, people started raiding the fridge in the church basement to find a few bites of cold food to eat.
Pep Leking 2 years ago
I got married when I was broken af, but we just reserved a decent restaurant and it was clear from the start that everyone pays for their food, then we moved to where the party, dancing and all that stuff happened. Like in what world would you invite poeple and then later on asking then for money. Just make it clear for the start, it doesn't take Einstein, just common sense.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
NOT ok. Doesn't matter if it's "clear from the start", you shouldn't expect guests to pay for ANYTHING. Either have a smaller wedding or WAIT until you save up enough to afford it.
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Sabrina 2 years ago
Would be nice to know how the op responded after that 7-second silence but there's an ad covering it so the entire story is pointless
Miss Ann Thrope 1 year ago
There's no law that says you have to attend the reception. Malicious compliance. Attend the wedding, then leave. Then go with your pals to a restaurant.
Sylvia Genders 1 year ago
The rudest weddings in my life: 1) Colleague got engaged, so I got her a small gift. Then I got an engraved announcement (not party invitation) with noted expectation. I ignored it. 2) J's first wedding was pot luck, and not everyone got a seat at a table. They split up shortly thereafter. Her second wedding was on Halloween on a Friday night, pot luck, expectations noted, on a badly photostated invitation. Apparently some people showed up in costume, not much food or attending. Got a new invitation for an outdoor sunrise wedding and breakfast at 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, in Canada, no public transportation until 9 a.m. Having kids, I didn't go to either. 3. Ex had moved on to fourth wife, who tried to sell $50 tickets for wedding to her salon customers. No-one bought any so she invited them to the wedding now being held in a party room with a cash bar. His mother and all his kids joined to wrecked the photos (there were reasons for the anger).
Leelee Cee 1 year ago (edited)
This is why I have chosen to never get married. I have never really had the desire to get married let alone have a wedding. I always believed that u dont need a ceremony n legal document to prove your love to someone. But my kids dad really wanted to get married so i actually did start planning a wedding at one point. Mind u we already had a child so in my personal opinion a huge wedding wouldnt have been appropriate anyways. Unfortunately my grandmother, mother n stepfather w/whom I was very.close unbelievably all passed within that yr..it was just too much n the excitement of a wedding no longer existed along with the venue. But what we did plan was very simple...get married at the courthouse n have a small outside reception for family n close friends on a beautiful spring/early summer evening at the house my gmom, mom n stepdad shared. It had a huge yard n heated pool that would've made for a beautiful reception. The decor/music etc was going to be made by myself n those who chose to help. I'm not above making decor from the dollar store n walmart. (My mother n I did my entire baby shower with diy stuff from the dollar store n walmart n it was classy n beautiful). We had some favorite local food places that we were going to order from. What we couldnt afford to order we were going to make. Its not that hard to plan something beautiful within your budget. We actually stayed together before we parted ways (amicably).
Nicky H. 1 year ago
Honestly in today's world I can understand having guests chip in on dinner. My own daughter just got married and the cost was really really hard on me, if not detrimental. Things just aren't like they used to be for the middle class. If there even is such a thing anymore. I wish I had thought of having the guests pay for a meal. You know the whole "it takes a village" idea. Before you yell at me we did not do that and if we had not only would it have been on the invite we would have discussed it during the planning stage as well. Clearly something was missed during this bride's upbringing.
Kat Min 1 year ago
This wedding madness needs to stop. Back to the basics: A decent venue, (church is optional) halway decent food, free wine, music, some room to dance and maybe a simple, local bachelorette evening some time before. A simple wishlist or the option to just donate some cash. We are neither Royals nor stars of a Hollywood movie. It is too much!
Pat Ferryman 1 year ago
Geesh 75 is more than I pay at the steak house for both of us. Is too much. Booze I don’t drink don’t ask me for mo ey fork blooded that is just wrong. Sounds like someone wants the guest to pay for an extravagant wedding. If you can’t afford it do do it. I have never been to a wedding I had to pay for except my own.
Pat Ferryman 1 year ago
Nah 75 is more than I pay for us to go out. Pay as you go bar or no bar if you can’t afford it. People who don’t drink shouldn’t have to pay for booze. I’ve never been to a wedding I had to pay to go to. Most people make a budget they can afford and stick to it. The over the top stuff is not my fault and I shouldn’t have to pay for your extravagance
Raymond Core 1 year ago
If it was someone I knew well, I would agree and then, not pay. I would come to the wedding but skip the reception.
Daryl Lindsay 1 year ago
Honestly, I suspect the Bride was attempting to exaggerate the dinner price to pay for other wedding costs. Rather Shady!
Data Two 1 year ago
Call me old school, but under no circumstances is money even mentioned either as a gift, or especially to pay for the proceedings. This applies to everything, including funerals. The only time, and I say this only because it was mentioned out of genuine concern for a cause, is to tactfully ask that people refrain from gifting and instead make a donation to a particular charity or even one of their own choosing. In this day, it seems people are intellectually drugged by reality television, HGTV, and the like. All these shows do is confuse people into thinking that reality is the norm, when in most cases it doesn't even come close. And this includes the way they live, the things they buy, the size of their homes and their surroundings. Not everyone lives in a destination city, pays half a million for a three bedroom 1800 sq foot home, or a fancy town house or condo. Also, not everyone acts like self-interested idiots… well, a good sizable portion of the population do not anyway.
actionjksn 1 year ago
I go to an unusually large number of weddings. My wife teaches at a small liberal arts university and gets a lot of invites from students, Plus she has a lot of friends so we just end up going to a lot of weddings. I'm not really that into the weddings but the receptions can be fun, especially when there's an open bar. I've never heard of this scenario in this happening at any of these weddings. And then there is the wedding expert at the end of the article. She's saying it should not have been written on the invitation and that it should be on the website. I'm not sure why she is assuming that weddings have their own website by default. If they do I haven't seen it, but I'm sure a lot of weddings do not have a website. It sounds like this person cannot afford a formal wedding and they want to have one anyway. Maybe they could have afforded the wedding if they found someone cheaper to cater it. Spending large amounts of money on a wedding when you're not well off is stupid.
Pon taseous 1 year ago
In my family, we usually give red pockets to the bride and groom as wedding gifts.
Jasmine Gross 1 year ago
It's really sad that she tried to guilt trip the people who were only concerned about their own wallets. She sounds like a rude person who expects people to bow to her
D. Nicole Hiljus 1 year ago
Having recently married off a daughter just as we were finally recovering from college tuition I can tell you it does indeed take a village No we didn't charge guests, we cut the guest list and many other corners. But this bride is outrageous! The way she went about it is truly disgusting.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
The strangest one for me, and this was over 20 years ago, was being handed an invitation by a coworker. It was odd because she handed it to me and walked off without saying what it was! This was a coworker from another department I never spoke to outside company-related matters. I declined and handed it back to her later that day. With an annoyed look, she opened it right then and asked why I didn't include any gift money! I immediately told her we were not friends and never socialized, so how dare she expect me to pay anything for her wedding? It turns out she gave everyone an invitation. I later learned from another coworker that she counted on almost everyone to decline but to feel guilty and include a gift. WTH?
David Smith 1 year ago
I think I'd go to the wedding, but then skip out on the reception. I'm not used to paying $75 for dinner, when I can get a pretty decent dinner for $15 at my favorite restaurant.
Susie Evans 1 year ago
I think the bride, groom and their families should pay for the venue, food, decorations and photography. The only thing wedding attendants should pay for are their dresses and tuxedo rentals.
Elora Danan 1 year ago
I honestly want to know what Universe some people live in who assume a marriage won't last because one or both parties are c*nts. The most toxic people often have super long relationships, either because one person is too dumb to leave or has been beaten down so much they're too weak/scared to leave. The most horrible person I know (she's abusive, controlling, and straight up psychotic, to the life she forced into the world and to her husband) has been married for going on 40 years. Yet I know incredibly lovely people who aren't even given a chance by someone they have feelings for. Terrible people have no issue getting in and staying in relationships.
Vivian Ashe 1 year ago
It requires a massive sense of entitlement to think other people "owe" you some life experience you've always wanted but can't afford. If you're throwing a party, you pay for the party... the fanciness of which will vary according to your means. If you come to the party, you bring a gift... the price of which may also vary according to your means. This shouldn't have to be openly stated, it's basic good manners.
El Howard 1 year ago
Off topic, but a word of advice: Do not get and ice cream cake for a wedding, especially a midsummer wedding! My friends did this (my ex picked out the cake), the reception hall wasn't air conditioned, and shortly after I pointed out to the other people at my table, the whole cake fell over onto the floor... just before the bride and groom arrived at the reception.
El Howard 1 year ago
The social contract is, "We give you expensive wedding presents, the bride's family spends way too much on the wedding, including food and drinks." Of course, for my own wedding, I paid for the entire think out of my own pocket, but the venue, food, and wine was only about $2000. Bride's wedding ring was another $1000; forget what the dress cost.
WeirdSymptoms 1 year ago
"If you send me money for a stamp, I'll send you a nice greeting card for your wedding and written explanation of where you can put it!"
Eh-non-o-mous 1 year ago
Martha Stewart’s wedding book says that all you need to serve is some cake and champagne for one toast (or grape juice if going non-alcoholic.) And it can be a meaningful wedding, although simple. If that is all they can afford, that is what they should serve. The bride and groom have no experience attending weddings and are operating from ignorance. It’s a shame.
Debbie Linfoot 1 year ago
A friend some 30 years ago wanted the wedding but as she and her partner had been living together for many years did not want gifts for asked the guests to pay for the meal (which was reasonably priced) instead. It worked out well for everyone but there was no sense of entitlement and she was upfront from the beginning. It's all in the asking I think because I would have been really annoyed if someone had pulled this on me.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago (edited)
Two things here. If you can't afford a dinner reception, serve fruit stands (with the chocolate fountain), hors d'oeuvres, or just cake, and let your guests know ahead of time that dinner won't be served so that they know to eat before hand. I hate going to a wedding hungry and then it's only cake. Secondly, if they are really your friend, are you going to let $150 get between you?? I would have let her know it is in really bad taste to tell your guests to pay for their meal AFTER their yes RSVP. I would have told her it's wrong and you need to fix yourself. If you don't, it says a lot about you and I'm not sure how long our relationship will last after this. If you really want a full service wedding (granted, the meal IS for your guests, you do want it nice for THEM) and you need help paying for it, send out a nice letter informing everyone, "we would really like to serve dinner for you all, but there is no way we could afford it. We ask for at least half the cost of your plate."
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Or something to the effect of "we would appreciate any help you could give" or take a poll of your guests if they would rather just have dinner on their own, and come for an afterparty, like a cake only reception. But do that BEFORE sending out invitations, during the planning phase.
Load More Replies... Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
I really feel for any bride wanting to do a dinner these days. I paid $60 per person, $5 per person for the cake and $3 or $5 (don't remember) per person for hors d'oeuvres, which we served only 2 to keep costs down, and ended up spending $32K for my wedding. We needed to give the guests something to do while we took pictures, so the hors d'oeuvres were kind of necessary. Most people don't have that kind of money lying around. There is absolutely no reason why ONE meal for ONE person should cost $60. I was tempted to just make reservations at a local restaurant. Venues that serve meals get away with murder these days. The cost to rent the venue wasn't bad, but it's the food that gets you. And then you have people cancel or not show up which is infuriating after they RSVP'd and you paid for their meal. Prices are absolutely outrageous.
Louie Bjørkedal 1 year ago
Har vært med på å ha bryllup hvor gjestene hadde med seg mat til koldtbord, har og vært med på spleise bryllup men da er det allltid opplyst på forhånd
Teresa Druer 1 year ago
Really?... that is very tacky n trashy ... there are so many other ideas to try to cut costs on a wedding...like how about instead of a tacky trashy a*s bachelorette parties etc your brides maids n maid of honor and the bride get all the supplies and your behinds in the kitchen for a few days before the wedding and then at the reception pit out food buffet style.. or not have a meal...just have the cake and a okay sized dessert buffet or something or have a small wedding and the moms n grammas of bride n groom im sure would love to handle the food preperations or just a cocktail hour ....or wait till u can afford to have a wedding. .. i have nvr been married or even been to alpt of weddungs and i can even think of a zillion better things than what this brat did!!!...and tbh i have a wedding plan lol incase i ever need one and for a dream wedding id want and it be beautiful af wouldnt cost anymore than a few grand ......
Gnut VonTrullock 2 years ago
I've had two family weddings at my property. We live on 5 acres in the Colorado Rockies with lots of lodgepole pines, a large barn and a small canyon with a creek that runs through it. There are some really nice places to set up an outdoor venue and we can all party in the barn. I don't charge anything for it. Because we have a large kitchen with 5 ovens, and two five-burner gas cooktops and an outdoor "summer kitchen" with grills, a griddle, and three smokers, we can easily feed a lot of people. On both occasions my wife and I provided the meal as our gift to the couple. One of them was a high-end smoked barbecue brisket dinner with potato salad, cole slaw, homemade bread and cherry and apple pies with ice cream. The other one was a southern-style comfort food / soul food meal with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and all the fixin's. I don't know what each couple ended up spending on the whole affair, but I think most of it was covered by our gift.
Dorian 2 years ago
Yikes, if they're that hard-up and broke maybe they need to hold off until they can save more money to afford a wedding. Or perhaps they should stay in their own financial wedding lane. Champagne wishes, beer budget. This is rude and disgusting. Friggin greedy azz piggies. Not everyone can afford a Bentley. This broke beotch needs to stay in her lane. If can't afford it then postpone until u can. Unreal
Kristina Cowan 2 years ago
Is that actually a thing these days? That is really tacky, especially not telling in invitation that guest would be paying till after... Maybe something like BBQ or fajitas, that would be something nice at least.
M Whee 2 years ago
I'm always astonished at the idea weddings have to be expensive. My mom made my dress, my sister made my cake, another sister did the flowers and a friend took the photos. Bridesmaids all had sewing skills so we picked the fabric and sent them the yardage they needed for the pattern they liked. We bought BBQ pulled pork and side dishes from a local place and had a buffet, and used our church's hall as the venue for the reception. It turned out perfect for us, even if the budget was well under $1000.
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Sharon Kim 2 years ago
That last one is sooo culturally unaware. Many cultures around the world expect cash gifts with varying levels of explicitness. There's nothing ruder or tackier than someone with no cultural sensitivity.
Sharon Kim 2 years ago
That last one is just sooo culturally unaware. Many cultures around the world expect cash gifts with varying levels of explicitness.
Sandra Devall 2 years ago
Brides with no talent or experience as a director choose themself. Tell me tan makes since as much as a play drirected by the lead cast player.
John Smith 2 years ago
We were young and not rich when we got married. So we made it an afternoon wedding without a meal. We provided bowls of candy and self-serve root beer floats. We also wrote a cutesy poem in the invites asking for honeymoon money in lieu of gifts, but also stating that their presence was gift enough.
Bill Scheitzach Jr. 2 years ago
Once you start demanding money for attending a wedding, whether it's for food, drinks, gifts, or anything else, you are no longer holding a wedding and inviting guests, you're running a shakedown.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
My father was disappointed that me and my husband got married quickly with only 3 other people in attendance. But when I reminded him that he got out of the tradition of the Brides family paying for the wedding, he was pleased as punch. He celebrated by buying us furniture for our first place. I agree with other posters that you get married within your budget. And spending $25,000 on a wedding just seems excessive to me. Why?
Lisa Weaver 2 years ago
I went to the courthouse. I don't regret it one bit. It cost 30.00 and I made it through without one anxiety attack. Happy daze.
Norma Reid-Hunt 2 years ago
Do what you can afford, now it is ok to offer a dinner be at a restaurant that has a large room, everyone pay own bill but be clear about it on invite. As far as gifts what we recieved back 45 yrs ago would not even be acceptable shower gifts. Forget batchelorette parties who has time and money to waste?
Invino Veritas 2 years ago
Anyone (especially any man) foolish enough to marry a c^nt like that deserves what he gets.
LunaMendax 2 years ago (edited)
"Bride Doesn’t Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites". Doesn't = does not. She did put price in invites. She did. Is my English so bad? Or the Author had brain fart??
SF Angel 2 years ago
This is far beyond Tacky. It is self serving, self centered, and flat out incorrigible. Only have what you can afford. Go to city hall and have a big party in a year or for a special anniversary. And while I respect the commentary regarding "This is common in OUR country", if you're getting married here in the USA, it is NOT common practice here and you will likely have a venue void of everyone except for perhaps relatives.
Bunnie Hartley 2 years ago
I'm getting married soon. And my fiancee's family is throwing a b***h fit. His dad wants him to invite everyone. But place we're getting married can only hold 40 people, we have change the location to hold more. But the big price is the catering. They only let you choose certified catering which comes to 2k just for 30 people. But if I served their cheapest option which just hot dog chips and water bottle still would be like $900 . The catering prices are absolutely bogus so I could see them charging the bride $75 a person. I'm gonna guess she choose catering afterwords and didn't realize it adds up. I'm paying for the catering. Because I would gladly pay for my family friends. However if I was to invite my fiancee whole family I would absolutely charge a $10 fee for food and have in the invites. Because his extended family are s**t holes. His sister recently got married and they ruin her wedding. First of all she invited all the family and RSVP almost a yr ahead time they all said go
Bunnie Hartley 2 years ago
They all going. So she paid for 400 guests. Then her Mil , me and her other sister and my fiancee, all helped her mom cook and prepare the food. We bought preheat crock pots . During the ceremony only a few showed up . Except her siblings me and parents , nobody else from her family came. 5 minutes before the reception a couple of her family started show they bust in a white dress and pink hair, interrupting the end ceremony . Then the rest her family started show when reception started they all in gym shorts tank tops inside a church ( and according my fiancee they're all supposed Christian and do own church clothes). About 200 of her family showed up for the reception. Not a single person except me took a slice of $700 red velvet cake.on the table she had party favors she stayed all night making including her wedding photos. Nobody took one except me. She also made little card asking for date idea everyone else tossed out. Then they all b***h about how bad the food was that her mom
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John Webster 2 years ago
As a retired wedding photographer I have seen it all---asking guests to buy a page for their wedding album, raffling off the centerpieces on the dinning tables, contributing towards their honeymoon, etc.
Leah Stone 2 years ago
Girl Fried 7 months ago My niece was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and she happily said yes It’s enti because she is close to the couple. The next week, she and the rest of the wedding party got an email from the bride and groom with what they would be expected to spend. First and foremost was that each member of the bridal party was to pay $2,500 for "the privilege of being in the wedding" and it went on from there with the expected costs of dresses, tuxes, $1,000 each for the cost of the bachelor and bachelor parties, gifts of no less than $250 for the engagement party and $500 for the reception, etc. She called the bride and asked if it was a joke. When she was assured it wasn't, niece moped right the eff out of the bridal party. 231Reply - 7 months ago $2,500 admission? Wow. That's a corporate merger, not a marriage! And "privilege"??? Are they celebrities who shall remain unnamed or just legends in their own minds? More Replies... Burn 7 months ago No thanks,
Some guy 2 years ago
At my wife's niece's wedding, guests were invited to dance with the bride or groom and give them some cash to help offset the wedding costs. Sounded a little tacky, but at least it was voluntary. (When my wife danced with the groom, she tucked the money into his waistband like a stripper. It was a joke and was taken as such, but it seemed appropriate to me.)
Randy Gordon 2 years ago
Wow! What kind of person has the nerve to ask these things? If you can not afford the big wedding,don't do it!
YazB 2 years ago
I understand times have changed but are people still on this 'Entitled High'? What makes one think that charging someone to come to your wedding is okay/appropriate? If one feels the need to be this silly, then they're clearly living above their means and attempting show off to prove...that they really don't have it! There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a small intimate wedding reception and then if you've got the money, having a celebration within one's home or at a larger venue for far less - without charging your guests. The couples making these ridiculous demands don't realize the time, effort, and money put into attending a wedding all in support of two people you'll never get your money back from! Being invited is an honor but it shouldn't come with additional stipulations and costs!
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Lululoohoo 2 years ago
I need to know the outcome of this bridezilla's wedding. Somebody tell me!!!!
sherri l 2 years ago
That bride would be disappointed with my wedding. Got married outdoors in my brother's yard. Had a fish fry after. My mom, sil and I made all the sides and mt brother fried the fish. We didn't ask for gifts or anything. Just come and celebrate with us. My opinion it's tacky as all get out to demand anything of the guests. Don't go in to debt or do more for your wedding than you can afford and don't expect anyone else to pay for it for you.
Sandra McBee 2 years ago
So glad our church blessed us and members each brought a dish. I did the flowers, candles etc. Had a lovely wedding for under $200 that included a photographer who only charged us $50!
Kaye Nicole (Nikki) 2 years ago
It wouldn’t have been that big of an issue if she had said the price on the invitation in the first place.
Lisa Murray 2 years ago
Do people understand weddings any more? Its not anyones responsibility to pay for ANYTHING but the bride and groom. If the brides parents choose to pay than to each their own. Its a wedding! I got married for a 1000.00. Included dress food hall. I have been married now for 25 years. Its not about anything other than love and vows. Ifbridezilla wants to spend bucko dollars than she needs to pay for it! Most of them dont stayed married anyway.
Andy Hinds 2 years ago
I used to do wedding photography years ago. One client actually had me and my second photographer guests during the wedding dinner. I felt highly honoured as a lot of the clients had just had me eating my sandwich in the car outside, with maybe an invite to the evening buffet.
Kimberly Quinn 2 years ago
We went to a wedding that was an hour away in a place that was special to the bride and groom. Because of cost there was no luncheon served. There were light snacks and non-alcoholic drinks served. I thought this was a bit odd. However we were told ahead of time so we could make arrangements.
Laura Gane 2 years ago
Actually, in Romania, the gift is paying for the meal and a little bit over. I'm angry at this tacky custom of ours and I refuse to attend any wedding. It's really in poor taste.
Cindy Kemnitz 2 years ago
RSVP that you'll come to the wedding but decline on the reception. Then take the $150 & treat you & your husband to a high end meal somewhere fancy. After all the wedding is the important part, right? Lol
Linda Aspromonte 2 years ago
Very tacky, but girl Fridays example topped it all. Invite people to your wedding because you want to share your happy day except that you will be paying for the wedding and hope that your friends will be able to give you a gift if they can afford one. My daughter does not always have the funds to cover the cost of her dinner and a gift so in that case she will decline to be a guest and save the bride and groom the money on her dinner but send as generous a gift as she can
Irena Freidin 2 years ago
I think in the invite you can write monetary gifts only. Some people will give more, some will give less, it will balance out, and not seem rude. Unless the price of food was on top of the gift, then that's ridiculous.
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
When we got married, we had a small reception with close family and friends in a very nice restaurant's back room. Open bar - no charge. An hors d'oeuvres hour while we had some pics taken. And really good food, family style. Everyone had a great time, which was the whole point to the reception. I can't imagine asking anyone to pay for any reception. I guess things are different now.
Vera Hilman 2 years ago
Whrn I have a wedding back on 2010, I have a 20 million rupiahs budget on my wedding. That's including the reception, the vows, dress, make up, wedding gifts from my husband, wedding ring (only I wear a ring), and any cost for official papers. I held it in my house. Perhaps it's equivalent to 5000 bucks? It's my dream wedding and it had 125 guests. I told my guests to bring money as my wedding gift because I will donate all of it to an orphanage near my house. I raised about 15 million rupiah, a good number at that time. If you can't afford it, ditched the plan and have a new plan where you can afford. Never buy something that you can't afford. Wake up!!
Chantal Monette 2 years ago
I mean... I'll pay for the food, but that's in place of a gift. I don't think that's what this bride understands.
Looks like an Angel 2 years ago
I had a family member send out wedding invites advising that they would be hosting a "green back" wedding. This is when they are not accepting wedding gifts and you must only give cash (no gifts) for the wedding and thw money has to be given to the bride and groom before you are allowed into the reception hall for dinner. They were trying to get other people to fund their honeymoon. They newlyweds paid for dinner for 230 people, expecting everyone to show up with cash for them. I heard that only 73 people showed up to the dinner and they didn't make enough money for their honeymoon.
bill marsano 2 years ago
Is brown-bagging ok as an alternative. And note this fine distinction: there's a difference between GUESTS and CUSTOMERS.
Lorynda Benson 2 years ago
The only thing i expect my wedding guests to pay for is their plane tickets to come see me if they can. I actually want a small wedding so i can use the extra funds to help buy my friends plane tickets. That's more valuable than an extra agent wedding. I haven't seen some of my closest friends in years
Rachel Ortiz 2 years ago (edited)
So wait a f@$&ing minute! You’ve sent us all this beautiful, expensive invite. Oh yeah, and BTW, just a lil’ thing I purposely left out. Once you’ve RSVP’d. You will get a text from me, letting you know how much you owe me, for the privilege of coming to my wedding. YEY!!! Phat chance B***h! If you can’t afford to have the wedding that you want us to pay for. Try Justice of the Peace! Maybe they’ll cut’cha a break!!
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
I would have said to forget my meals, and then showed up with a box lunch.
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
I would have un-chosen the dinners, and then showed up with a box lunch.
Janet Cox 2 years ago
If you get an invite to a wedding it includes a wedding breakfast surely? Be it sit down or buffet style, food should always be provided. Yes some cultures give money instead of gifts, but not for food. A wedding is to bring two families and friends together to witness the service and celebrate with a 'family meal'. A buffet style has become more popular as it is easier to organise for fussy eaters and relatively cheaper because there is no table service staff. Sometimes bridesmaids are asked to contribute towards their dresses to help the bride, but generally such dresses are provided by the bride. To demand payment for food is appalling, especially in the way this bride has done. I can understand giving something towards a restaurant meal, but not many weddings are held in restaurants unless they are registry weddings which are usually much smaller affairs. A wedding invitation includes food of some sort....end of.
Molly Spurgeon 2 years ago
I have considered how times have changed in regards to wedding registries: at one time, they made sense because they were asking for toasters and other basic household essentials to help the young couple out as they "first" "started a life." Nowadays, many marriages are between two people who have already lived outside of their parent's house and likely already own a lot of those items (and - in the circumstance that this is true for both people in the couple - then they're conceivably starting out with doubles of those things!) So, I totally understand that change and would, myself, also prefer for gifts of, like, gift cards to the grocery store - honestly. So I understand why the advent of funding a honeymoon and such have become popular practice. But regardless, the thing that happens in my culture that has always given me secondhand embarrassment is this thing called "the money dance," wherein guests can dance with the bride or groom on the condition of handing them cash?!?
Peter Abolins 2 years ago
Are you serious? This is the way weddings are done in Eastern Europe. You get invited, you bring your wallet. I find it strange that a supposed wedding planner has never heard of this practice before. Besides, I would rather that they ask for the money up front, instead of surprising me with expectations of payment on the day. I guess if it is traditional to pay for your meal, then you don't need to be told. This isn't how I grew up, but I can respect that cultures and traditions are different and either you fit in or you don't... no point complaining to people online.
Vladimíra Matejová 2 years ago
I have never heard of guests being directly told to cover the cost of their attendance. it is however considered polite to bring gifts/money at least in the value of what it cost the host to invite you, but you dont know the exact sum, you can only estimate. mostly close family brings more money than friends and of course if the couple knows you are poor/student they are okay with less money. mostly ppl expect money, not gifts these days as it is more practical. also the way the bride behaved was way out of line. totally rude
Argle Bargle 2 years ago (edited)
I used to shoot weddings with a partner, and it was stipulated in the contract we received a meal. No food, no pix. 16 hour days without eating aren't my thing. I simply cannot imagine charging guests for the meal. Such bad taste.
Fair Sparrow 2 years ago
Where I'm from its common to give money as a wedding gift. It mostly works as deferred loan, you invite your friends and family to your wedding, they're giving you a huge amount of money, so you can start your married life with some insurance, and when they or their children get married you're expected to give those money back over the years as wedding gifts to them. That's how it worked traditionally. Now, weddings usually really really big here, it's common to invite all your coworkers, your distinct relatives and even the coworkers of your sister that you never ever saw. Of course it's quite expensive, so nowadays this wedding loans goes for paying for the wedding itself. Of course, those dozens and dozens random people are not expected to bring you the real gift, they're expected to give you around 100-150$ from each one to cover their dinner price exactly. It's never discussed, it's just anunspoken rule. So, the fact that she asked about it at al not that surprising to me.
Viana Velos 2 years ago
I've seen a lot of persons doing similar things, instead of gifts "just deposit some money at this bank account so we can buy the stuff, my cousin even put a list of gift they would want, like I heard my grandpa an uncle talking about how my grandpa was going to buy the washing machine and my uncle the air fryer. AIR FRYER LIKE CMON
Helena Pehrsson 2 years ago
A friend of mine wanted to be married and the whole town wanted to go at her weding, 850 people, she seeing the problem said that she did not have money to celebrate a wedding with 850 guests but she said that if the whole town wanted to go to her wedding she would give up that they gave her gifts and that the gift for her would be that everyone would attend paying for their food, 848 people accepted and a place was rented and an adjusted catering price and the price per person was €18. The price of 75 dollars per person seems exaggerated to me since it comes in handy in an expensive restaurant for 40€ per person. It seems to me that the girl wanted to earn money by organizing her wedding. When I got married, my wedding cost €1,000 judge, papers, permits, hotel and food included
Sprinkles 2 years ago
When I was planning my wedding, I never even occurred to me to charge my GUESTS for their meal. The whole wedding industry is a gimmick, but we had a great wedding on a budget. Everyone had a blast at the reception. If you really want a wedding/reception to celebrate your union, don't ask people to foot the bill. So tacky.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
I'm astounded the bride thought it was so far out there for the couple to pay for meals - yes, of course they do, that's always been the way it's been! And if they can't afford it, they can do what a lot of my family did, and have a potluck where the aunts/uncles/etc. all brought something.
chris smith 2 years ago
I hope no one come to the wedding. This s**t is sad and this dead wrong.
Tomaž Kolarič 2 years ago
A wedding is an event. The bride and groom invite guests to witness the exchange of vows. It's a favor. They vow to be true to one another, understanding that there are pressures to break the union of man and wife. When one is asked a favor a reciprocal debt is incurred. You do something for me, I'll do something for you. If you get invited to bear witness for me as a favor, I'll supply the food and entertainment for the inconvenience of bearing witness. In most traditions guests bring gifts to hosts. Again, it' reciprocal, and good manners. Some traditions give away money or resources to the newlyweds, because it's understood, life is hard at the beginning as you are trying to establish yourself. So any small gift is appreciated in establishing a new household. This is a gift. Close family members give much, friends give as possible, and acquaintances just attend the wedding. Demanding money for a dream wedding is tacky and a sign of low class, not understanding social conventions.
Violet Smith 2 years ago
I once went to a pot-luck wedding, and it was awesome! People could bring food, or their gift to the couple could be a song/dance/skit they would perform (the bride was a fire-breathing belly-dancer and the couple had a lot of creative friends). Their main expenses were hiring a hall, a JP to marry them at the hall, and they had some really nice custom-made wedding outfits. They already owned a condo together and didn't really need toasters etc. It was a lovely wedding! There is always a way if you're creative...
Ty Daley 2 years ago
I think you should celebrate your marriage within your means. I bought a house instead of having a wedding. We got married at a small church and went to a nice restaurant with 10 of our closest people. I’m not rich and don’t know any rich people. I know the cost of weddings and didn’t want to enter my marriage in debt and stressed out. It was the best decision for us so people should do what works for them.
Sarah Baker 2 years ago
Luckily I've never had such a thing happen. One wedding the bride and groom only asked for donations towards a honeymoon and the link actually showed the values of the different aspects like plane tickets or hotel cost and stuff like that. I found it 100% acceptable as it made sense, especially since they were older and already had a lot of things you'd give at a first wedding type thing so had no need for more. If it's done like that, I have no problem, but when it's done like here, I have a big problem. What about the people who are coming in from out of state or country? That's a lot of money right there just to ATTEND the wedding.
Alan Constant 2 years ago
A friend of mine was the maid of honor in a friend's wedding. It was a small affair - only the bride, groom, maid of honor, best man and their spouses. The ceremony went well and they were all invited to dinner at one of the classier and rather expensive restaurants in town. ( at the time, they charged $6 for the same drink you buy at any bar for $1.50 ' which gives you an idea how expensive they were. They all had very nice meal and sat back talking for about an hour afterwards and the others all nursed down a couple of drinks. At the end of the evening, the bride called the waitress over and said "Separate cheques please!" I would have made sure that everyone within earshot heard what she did, flatly refused to pay and walked out. .
Just Breathe 2 years ago
Where Im from you have 2 choices when planning a wedding: A) People pay for their meal (price is included in the invitation), you dont get another gift. B) You pay for everything and you select before hand what you want as a gift. Here you have 2 other options: 1) Honeymoon travel plans. The agency you chose plans your expenses and charge your guests. For e.g A friend of mine traveled 2 months around Europe, I went to the agency he chose and paid the cost of renting a car for a few days (dont remember how many). 2) Stuff for the house. You choose a few places, give them a list of things you need and send the names of the stores to your guests. e.g When my Sister got married I put money towards a new fridge.
Elizabeth Guss 2 years ago
Charging an invited guest for ANY part of your cost of hosting is incredibly CHEAP and RUDE. If you cannot afford the cost, then adjust the scale of the event to match what you can afford. You are asking people to share in your special day. Demanding that they pay for it makes them wonder if they're a valued friend or merely a deep pocket. TACKY!
paco diablo 2 years ago
Hilarious. Depending on who the cater is, you might get a good meal (though I kind of doubt it) Is it a $150 dinner? With drinks? If not just decline or attend and forget about a gift. Somehow it just doesn’t seem worth it. Send them a card instead with a $25 gift card to taco bell
Nicholas Yu 2 years ago
In my culture, if you invite someone out to dinner, YOU pick up the tab. I just finished nursing school and one of my preceptors used to humblebrag about her cleaning lady, getting her hair done every week...etc. She then invited all of her students out to brunch on the last day. When the check came, her tacky a*s requested separate checks.
DumYum 2 years ago
When I got married, we let everyone know it was potluck and taking place at the house we rented. We knew nothing about weddings. My dress was from Salvation Army. We rented a tent, chairs, and cutlery. We paid for booze, wholesale flowers, which I paid a friend to arrange. Brother was a bartender so he set up the bar table. Best man brought a mix tape for music. A couple photographer friends took some photos here and there. Because I worked in the restaurant business, I paid wholesale for steak, salmon and chocolate torte cakes, which I stacked. Some friends pitched in to help set up and clean up without me asking for help. We had a great time!! We expected nothing but to celebrate with friends. The next morning opening gifts and cards was fun and we didn’t realize people would give us money. It paid for the wedding and for our modest honeymoon. We were thrilled and grateful.
AlanandLeila Hoyt 2 years ago
If you can’t afford to feed everyone but want a lot to attend, make it a potluck, but obviously tell people ahead of time.
MrJoeh1234 2 years ago
Weddings are not my thing, but I thought tradition was that the father of the bride was fiscally responsible for the wedding unless the bride was older or a second marriage. Did that change or was it never true?
Marty Sunderland 2 years ago
Don't need an excuse to cancel on that invite. What the heck is wrong with some people?
Random Anon 2 years ago (edited)
Lol... this an Asian wedding? Even an Asian wedding do not DEMAND a fixed amount of cash. Yes when you attend an Asian wedding, especially east Asian ones, you are expected to bring a gift of cash. It doesn't matter how much. You gift what you can afford. And the amount is never revealed to anyone, kept only between you and the hosts. Going empty handed is seen as bad manners. On the flip side, shaming the gift is seen as horrible etiquette.
Ashley Nicole 2 years ago
My friend did this and it wasn't an issue. Too many people expect free food and drinks and that's not feasible for most people nowadays. If you want to support friends and family pay for your own meal then.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Wow - what an attitude. No thank you toxic now ex-friend. I would probably have given that anyway as a wedding gift.
Anjali Jeter 2 years ago
This kind of c**p is tacky AF and is a hard no for me. I have no issue with being asked for money or help with something I can help with in lieu of a gift, but I would not pay just to attend a wedding. One of my relatives demanded money from people for their wedding. I was especially galled as this person had received a sizeable sum of money from a will but was asking people like myself, a welfare claimant, for money. I did not attend that wedding.
Cindy Temps 2 years ago
Expecting guests to pay for their dinner or other things at a wedding is absolutely wrong, tacky, and rude. If the couple can't pay for the food, then don't have food. Just serve wedding cake. Or elope for free. It is your job to stay within your budget for the wedding and not expect your guests to pay. Each guest should have changed their RSVP to NO we will NOT be attending.
Shelly Graham 2 years ago
My 1st wedding was so stressful I broke out in hives everywhere! Bridesmaid called while I was out, asking what time was the rehearsal, Ex told her he didn't know, (he did) but he'd have me call her back. HE FORGOT! I called to find out what had happened. She said she'd been waiting for my call! Glaring at my Ex he responded belligerently with "Whatever, get over it!" I burst into tears. FIL stated he wasn't wearing a tux. I said , "I'm so sorry you'll be in unable to attend the ceremony." He begrudgingly wore a tux. During both the rehearsal dinner & rehearsal my FIL repeatedly made loud rude & hurtful comments about my weight (I used to weigh 400lbs.) Before the ceremony a groomsmen informed me he didn't have shoes to go w/the tux! He'd wear his disgusting, holey sneakers. I lost it, seeing my response, he quickly revealed he was joking. In several photos my face was red & I looked angry, sad & tired. I was strung so tight it wouldn't have taken much for me to snap!
Kristen Adorno 2 years ago
This is insane! When my husband and I got married, we only had what we could afford! We got married at a BEAUTIFUL historic mansion owned and maintained by the county for $2200 ($1700 after our deposit was refunded after the big day) and we paid $400 for a professional wedding dj, rented tables and chairs and linens, had an open bar, and a buffet for all the guests. The food was phenomenal and we spent less than $6000 on everything and never asked our wedding party or guests to pay for anything. Our wedding turned out gorgeous and everyone had a blast! The guests even stayed after the wedding and reception was over to help clean up (nobody asked them to) because they had so much fun and felt like helping out to return the favor for an enjoyable wedding. We didn't ask for gifts so we didn't receive much but my dad did give us a chunk of money and my mother in law did too. My mother in law is the absolute best so she helped me plan the entire thing in less than 3 months.
Okatango 2 years ago (edited)
Fortunately, I often travel for work, so it is easier to refuse invitations. I invite the couple over later for a small dinner party, or hike with gourmet picnic, to a restaurant or similar. It's not so much the expense as it is the time and the waste of what is often a gorgeous weekend. Instead of being outdoors, it's 1.5 hrs of getting dressed up, another hour or more driving, then the 2 hours hanging about while pictures are taken, lining up to congratulate them then stuck in a venue without natural light or garden. Actual interaction with couple during all this is a few minutes. Why can't it just be a nice lunch outdoors? Or just an evening event? Worst are the ones where you have to go to a pre-dinner, then breakfast. It should about a nice celebration, not entitlement to be so self-centered.
Bonnie Edwards 2 years ago
The church that I was married at, has a tradition of bring-a-plate meals for every wedding - so that is what we did. All invites sent to people less than 1hr drive away mentioned it. Anyone coming from further, or interstate, were not asked. Of course, we supplied extra food on top, plus drinks and deserts. Frankly, the majority of people who turned down our invitation, did so because there would be no alcohol.
Lu Harris 2 years ago
That's quite an unkind assumption to make. Maybe they're just not keen on celebrating those who sit in judgment of others.
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LangiStudios 2 years ago
As if I need more reasons to be Team Elope. I'd rather spend money on pre-marital counselling tbh.
O.M.Miki 2 years ago
This really isn't uncommon. In japan if you accept an invite to the wedding you usually girt the couple 30,000yen ( 300 dollars) instead of bringing some crap gift. But unless your family the amount never really exceeds that.
Terry Butler 2 years ago
I guess the underlying rule is, "When in Rome..."
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Kat Kirkpatrick 2 years ago
What a {{female dog}} the bride turned out to be! I was always taught that the host pays for the meal(s) for the guests, not the other way around. And if the bride and/or her family cannot afford to pay for meals for all the guests they want in attendance, it's time to put on their big-girl panties, admit they are over-doing things, and cut down the guest list (before invitation go out, naturally) until they arrive at a number that they can afford. People overall need to start spending more time, energy and money on the actual marriage, instead of going into debt for a huge party that few people will remember anything about twenty years after the fact. (Assuming the marriage even lasts that long with the sheer greed and craziness some bridezillas exhibit.)
Jimmy Lewis 2 years ago
This generation seems to think they are privileged. Her wedding is going to suck, as it should.
Marnie 2 years ago
Even if you did pay, $20 a plate is plenty enough. Who are they having serving the meals that they can charge $75 a plate? That had better be damned good food and enough for 3 doggie bags to take home. I'd be inclined to say I'm coming, but I don't want dinner. (I'll bring Taco Bell.)
Speedlimit78 2 years ago
The entitlement- same bride probably justified it by thinking "mommy and daddy has always paid for everything- so others should pay for my wedding as well"
Sarah Westgaard 2 years ago
Pack people in at the church, do a simple cake and punch reception and a intimate dinner for the families later that evening. That is the best way to cut cost. Asking the guests to pay for their dinner shows a lack of social training. Any wedding coordinator would have never allowed such an invitation/phone call to be made. Any bride needs to know it may be her day and she gets to plan the party she wants and share this day with those closest to her and her family. This party comes at a cost. This kind of party requires planning if on a budget. Wedding are all about family and the merging of 2 families into one. The moment engagement is announced, wedding planning and extra savings or jobs to pay for wedding should start. Every couple should take Dave Ramsey financial peace university while the are engaged to start there marriage off on the right financial footings.
Smacey Elmaira 2 years ago
In my culture, we offer any amount we can for the food during weddings. Because let's be real. Weddings are expensive af. For my culture, we give what ever amount we want. I've attended a Chinese one, everyone was gave $88 and above. But at the time I wasn't financially stable so I offer $50. This mindset is only western where I assume everything is covered by bride and groom.
Alfred Arreguin 2 years ago
We all kind of deserve this type behavior because we give our counter parts open ended guidelines. Now we're surprised when they act this way towards others outside the family. What did you expect building up a spoiled brat.
Monica Nixon 2 years ago
People who wish to share their marital commitment publicly by being surrounded by those they love and support their union shouldn't be slapped with bills. The exchanging of vows is personal & intimate and should not be treated as if its a Broadway show where everyone has to pay for their seat. At least at a show you are their to enjoy the fruits of your labor with a taste of leisure. At a wedding your honor the couple by your choice and not by how they say ~period.
Julia Spencer 2 years ago
This is in extremely poor taste and simply not done. One must never charge a guest to attend a party. Engaged couples must have a wedding within their means, and if that limits them to a courthouse ceremony with two friends as witnesses, so be it. If the marriage lasts, they can have a more lavish anniversary celebration when finances permit. I grew up reading Miss Manners’ witty syndicated column and received one of her books as a HS graduation present. Folks who grow up with no etiquette guidance would do well to check out a book or two before they embarrass themselves.
Claudette Perkins 2 years ago
C. PERHAPS There was a time when you were asked to be a Bridesmaid, she paid for everything. You showed up for fitting and for Support. Now they want you to spend $2500 FOR a dress you can only wear one time, and is sometimes very ugly. The Bride chose the color and Style. You may hate it. It's not a joy anymore. Now its an obligation. Some girls hate it. It's not Fun anymore.
Timothy Parkhurst 2 years ago
Marriage is highly overrated anyhow. Most marriages nowadays last maybe 3-5 years. So can we all get our money back when you wind up in Divorce Court next year? Tacky as all hell!
Timothy Parkhurst 2 years ago
Marriage is highly overrated anyhow. Most marriages last maybe 2-5 years anymore. Can we get our money back if and when you wind up in Divorce Court next year? Tacky as hell!
Matthew F 2 years ago
Asking people for compensation for any sort of event you are hosting, wedding or otherwise is extremely tacky and down right trashy. It's your event, plan it to fit into your budget. People with class show up with an appropriately priced gift based on the type of event, whether it's a bottle of wine for a small dinner, a dish of some kind for a BBQ, or cash covering at least your plate for a wedding. People with class also NEVER ask you to...
Holly Jarvis 2 years ago
$75 a person for a wedding? That's a pretty good deal. In Asia, or at least in Southeast Asia, it's pretty common, and almost expected in most cases, for the guests to gift the wedded couple money. This is in part to help cover costs, and as a financial blessing of sorts. The closer you are, the more money you give. There's a whole etiquette thing where wedding guests would do prior research on how much a table costs at the venue, and calculate the minimum necessary to not look like the a*****e who's trying to stiff a free meal from your friends and family. Nobody likes THAT person. Especially when you and your partner are trying to save up to start a life together. And honestly, the money is a lot more useful than 4 toasters.
Gabriel Sandu 2 years ago
Her attitude was bad from the start, especially not informing guests she wants a non typical wedding party, then went on a rage with what should've supposedly been their friend. The norm is different for Europe, where it's considered rude to ask for or talk about money at the wedding, so guests have a guessing game of how much to gift the newlyweds. Parties are typically big and for 100 people it's around 30k $ to get location, food, music and photographer so they can either afford to pay it before and then recover some from guests cash gifts that typically are around 300$ for 2 people, or just skip the party, settling for civil signing only and religious ceremony, where fee is affordable.
N Taylor 2 years ago
When my wife and I had our wedding, we only invited people that we knew would come. To many times, you hear people say they invited 500 to 800 people to wedding. Who cares about the number people you invite. My wife and I invited 235 people and firm rsvp's from all of them and 10 of them didn't show. We had left overs for next couple of days. I got married 8 years ago and the way everything was figured up cost wise. It was $35 a person, you add up the cateror and cake. Then if you supply a open bar. So if any future couples are planning their guest list. Remember is it worth inviting somebody you met a few times.
Andy V 2 years ago
Here in Argentina the engagement party is at the bride's house and it's free. Then the wedding day you have three options according to your budget: 1) all free. You have enough money to invite guests. 2) you send the invitations with the amount for dinner, and people send the money in advance. Or you can choose to go after dinner for the toast for free. 3) you announce in the invitation card that this dinner is "collective" ("a la canasta") so people go to the wedding carrying their own food. Yes, this is 3rd world partying 😆 specially if the bride is already pregnant!!! Ohh, and gifts? We've never heard of "wedding lists in shops" until recent years. Here if you have a wedding you know for sure you'll end up giving away half your gifts because people end up repeating gifts without knowing. Like you'll get four sets of tea, several blenders or so... 🙆🙈
Cheri Brann 2 years ago
Why not skip the meal? Most invites say something humble making it a privilege of the couple if you would be there? Making my presence an important to their day? Meeting demands just won'nt work for me.
James Avis 2 years ago
What more invitations should say: "Gifts are welcome, but not necessary; what we really want is the pleasure of your company as we celebrate our wedding!"
LucyGoosey 2 years ago
I would rescind my RSVP too, ain't no way I'd attend any wedding like that, no matter who it is. Y'all on your own, I'm struggling myself as it is ✌
Randall Mullin 2 years ago
I went to a wedding as a groomsman where I had to rent the certain tux that the bride wanted and we went for a restaurant dinner afterwards where everyone had to pay for their own meal and had no idea until we arrived at the restaurant. All in all with accommodations for the night their wedding cost me and my family over $1000.
Candace Lady C Johnson 2 years ago
Now I do feel like it was in poor taste to ask guest after the RSVPs and not being upfront with the paying of the meal. I have heard of couples having dinners at restaurants and guests paying for their own food. There were no issues.
Dark Fafnir 2 years ago (edited)
Plain and simple the bride was way off base and def a weird and bad way to tell "guests" you invite to a party that last a while, that they have to pay for dinner...not a wedding I'd be going to.....
A Lexis 2 years ago
Ain’t no way I would ever have attended something like this it’s your wedding and you want my attendance so I would never pay to be in your presence that bad so with that being said so I would have definitely declined and then her audacity to get angry at ppl cause the don’t want to pay is utterly rude I wonder how her wedding turned out?🤷🏾♀️
Shirley Herberger 2 years ago
Never ask guests to pay for their dinner. OMG If you can't afford a wedding ELOPE. Unbelievable immaturity.
Nikki 2 years ago
I think that is ridiculous. Yes you should be able to do what you want in your wedding. It’s your big day. However it’s not anyone else big day. You expect people to pay for dinner then pay for whatever else which has been customary for centuries that the bridal party pay for. No thanks sounds like cheap and crappy wedding anyways. The talk of the night will be about what you expected out of your guest, and not about well wishes towards your new life together. If you’re to cheap to marry elope or don’t get married until you have money
Marianna Madison 2 years ago (edited)
I agree she should tell people up front if she cannot cover the food, or if she wants help covering it. Her angry reaction shows how she will handle embarrassing or difficult financial situations, which we all do experience as life goes by. Her husband to be should sit up and take notice. Because IF her snap response, right out of the box, is anger then he is in for a very rough ride.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
While I do not think this should be done at all, for reasons many here have already stated...if you were going to do it, I would strongly urge 2 changes, 1) Inform people up front so everything is known when invitees are making their decision, 2) Ask with humility instead of demanding with contempt. Humility goes a long way when dealing with people in all areas of life. If the bride had stated something like, "We really want to have all our friends at our wedding and serve a spectacular meal people will not forget. This is really out of our budget so we are asking $75 from each person to help us cover the costs of the wedding. Your understanding, generosity and presence at our most special day are so appreciated. Thank you." It still would be 'tacky' but that would have reduced the friction 90%.
Terry Butler 2 years ago
Humility! That's the ticket! 👍 Still, I would never have a wedding my family could not afford. That's common sense.
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Sarah Lawrence 2 years ago
Where I came from in a not overly affluent area, for the wedding reception, it was simply asked if you could bring a covered dish. Certainly nobody asked to pay for their food as guest. if they couldn't afford it, they couldn't afford it! No one minds bringing a casserole!! It may not be the most hip or chic, but it was always fun. Of course, that was back when young people weren't so 'entitled'.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
That is a great idea...I'd love to be a fly on the wall when someone ran this idea past the bride :)
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Doris Jones 2 years ago
Considerate IT has a (her) wedding gift...! PERIOD. MAYBE, SHE AS A NICE TOKEN of APPRECIATION, for BEING A WITNESS, IN HOPEFULLY, HER (THEIR) LIFE-TIME COMMITMENT. WE "DO" LOOSE SIGHT, OFTEN for THE REASON, for THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE.
NMK 2 years ago
Millennials. Live at home til they are 30, make no money and blame the world for their problems.
ljbeanfield 2 years ago
You seem pleasant..... Tell that to my boomer aged estranged aunt. Shes managed to do worse than this.
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Bray Elliott 2 years ago
In many other cultures the "guests" usually are the ones throwing the party for the newlyweds. The whole village gets together to celebrate a joyous occasion giving and helping where they can without complaining.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
I think you are confused about the definition of the word "guest". In MOST cultures, the bride and groom HOST the reception.
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Katerina Huskova 2 years ago (edited)
I'm not that old (36 😅) but I remember times when a wedding was a celebration of love, a great time spend with family and friends and having fun more than a background for instaphotos and superexpensive outfits 🤷🏻♀️ I refused to go to a wedding once because there was a "no kids rule" bacause I had two little kids (even they were kinda last couple among most of their friends to get married and like most of their friends were having litlle kids) and other mothers didn't attend as well...so you can imagine the wedding party 😅
Karen Koller 2 years ago
I guess they have no Italian friends or family. In the Italian culture it is understood that you pay for your dinner plate so this is not written either.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Not true. I'm Italian, and the bride's family pays for the wedding and reception, and the reception is meant to be a THANK YOU to the guests for setting aside their whole day to celebrate with the married couple. The key word here is GUEST. It is NEVER EVER appropriate to ask a GUEST to pay for anything.
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Nicole Deere 2 years ago
This article is ridiculous in interviewing a "luxury" wedding planner. Of course she has never heard of someone requesting guests to pay for their dinner🙄 Is it tacky? Yes, but my god interview a wedding planner that would be hired by a family that didn't have a trust fund or didn't have anyone with a C-level title in the immediate family.
Marianna Madison 2 years ago (edited)
Some girls apparently have the wrong idea about what a wedding is for. It isn't some transaction in which a girl is declared queen and haughtily lays out her demands. With this trend of narcissism entitlement and peasant-cancelling pretense, no self respecting dude would even want a wedding without a psychiatric evaluation of the bride to be first. Our children must not be getting past 5-6 years old these days. Some MAJOR character development is noticeably missing in our more recent generations coming up now,, and this is on a larger scale than we can afford to allow in our society. Something needs to change since so many of our young are turning into THAT.
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Justme 2 years ago
The closest I’ve seen to this was done tastefully by a young couple with a very small budget. They had a small wedding (~10 people) at a park and then reserved the banquet room at an Olive Garden. The invites clearly stated that they were providing cake and non-alcoholic beverages, but that guests were asked to pay for their own meals and alcohol. It was very well done, a beautiful small wedding on a budget.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
NOPE. Still tacky as hell to invite people to buy their own meals. That is not a wedding on a budget- that is a shady way to make other people pay for being YOUR guest.
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Susan Montano 2 years ago
Well, it seems to be the way to go these days. I have been invited to kid’s birthday parties and I had to pay for our meal’s because ut was kept in a restaurant. People wants a party and gifts with no expense.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No, it is not the way to go these days. Only tacky people do this.
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Cynthia Arthur 2 years ago
It doesn't surprise me that this woman would act that way. I have never liked her, I can see why the royal family does not want anything to do with her. Frankly, I wish those two had not come to the United States. I'd like to see them leave. As far as I'm concerned, they are not wanted.
Brittany Ridsdale 2 years ago
You're right f*****g stuck up cunty b***h and I hope nobody comes to that horrible awful f*****g wedding hope you don't even get God's blessing you f*****g money hungry whore
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Normal to not inform the cost of something until AFTER someone responds? And being ugly & rude to them? That is really the problem, not the cost (tho that is tacky too)
Load More Replies... Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
The point of the wedding reception is to THANK THE GUESTS for attending, and to celebrate with them. Your guests should not have to foot the bill. If you can't afford to have a big wedding, have a small wedding.
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Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
The people who think this is ok all seem to struggle to string a coherent sentence together. The wedding reception is a party that the HOSTS (bride and groom) throw for the GUESTS (the wedding attendees) to THANK THEM for attending the wedding. The guests are not ordering a meal at a restaurant. Most of the guests have traveled long distances, spent a significant amount of money on appropriate outfits and the wedding gift, and have set aside their ENTIRE DAY to celebrate with you. Asking them for money on top of all that is outrageous. And if you want to reduce it to the concept of paying for a meal, let's be realistic- even with the best of caterers, most wedding meals are fairly bland (on purpose, so older guests don't get sick), often over-cooked (because it's difficult to produce that many meals at once on site), and limited in variety. You wouldn't pay $250 at a restaurant if your only option was to check a box for beef, chicken, or fish.
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Stephen Troup 2 years ago
A big part of the problem was not informing people before they responded. Also, her attitude was ugly & rude.
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Linda Stranich 2 years ago
Not telling the people until after the RSVP yes is the problem.
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Lisa Schmid-Zweigler 2 years ago
Wow, you really spend that much a week on “fine dining?” 🙄 That’s sarcasm in case you didn’t get it. You must be rich af as well as an a*****e for telling people to work harder so they’re not poor. Obviously you are a troll or just a royal a*****e who likes to brag!
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GirlFriday 2 years ago
My niece was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and she happily said yes because she is close to the couple. The next week, she and the rest of the wedding party got an email from the bride and groom with what they would be expected to spend. First and foremost was that each member of the bridal party was to pay $2,500 for "the privilege of being in the wedding" and it went on from there with the expected costs of dresses, tuxes, $1,000 each for the cost of the bachelor and bachelorette parties, gifts of no less than $250 for the engagement party and $500 for the reception, etc. She called the bride and asked if it was a joke. When she was assured it wasn't, niece noped right the eff out of the bridal party.
- 2 years ago
$2,500 admission? Wow. That's a corporate merger, not a marriage! And "privilege"??? Are they celebrities who shall remain unnamed or just legends in their own minds?
Load More Replies... - 2 years ago
$75 per person will get you a nice hassle-free meal at a local restaurant. You get to support a local business and leave a good tip for your server.
Joe Edwards 2 years ago
I can take my GF and daughter for a good meal at a restaurant and pay $75 TOTAL
Load More Replies... Vivian Ashe 2 years ago
Middle class American Gen Xer here. When I was growing up, big fancy weddings were the exception, and I never knew anyone who had a destination wedding. Most "ordinary" people would have their wedding reception in their parent's backyard, with a few relatives providing a potluck-style dinner for the guests. Or they'd rent out an inexpensive space like a church hall or community center. I feel like social media influencers have convinced this generation that they have to have a celebrity-style wedding that they can't afford. Considering that this generation has so many more pressing expenses like housing costs and student loan debt, this seems like such a frivolous luxury to fixate on.
WildHoneyPie 2 years ago
That is how we did it in 1996. We had a wedding in a small church in the mountains. The minister wasn't even going to charge us because he had forgotten our initial meeting and stood us up. But we gave him his fee anyway of course. Then we had a reception in my sister's house with my whole family pitching in with cold cuts and rolls, etc. We did have a wedding cake but it was very simple. People loved our wedding! You don't have to be so elaborate.
Load More Replies... Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Any event you invite people to, you are hosting them. That means, you are footing the bill. If they give you a cash gift and you use it to offset expenses, then fine. However. Gifts are a bonus, not expected, and none of your guests [non-hosts] should be charged as though they are at a restaurant, or going on a cruise.
VM37 2 years ago
If I invite someone to a drink or a cup of coffe, I will be paying the bill, bc I invited them to come. Same goes for parties and wedding.
Load More Replies... Houseof No 2 years ago
Did no one explain to this bridezilla the difference between a WEDDING and a FUNDRAISER? They are NOT the same thing. Perfect wedding gift for this Bridezilla is a dictionary. Be sure to bookmark and highlight the definition of HOSPITALITY.
M 2 years ago
Omg. Yes! Love this comment so much. These entitlement children need to wait because they are definitely not ready for marriage.
Load More Replies... phil blanque 2 years ago
Ha...the funny thing is that she probably already has a contract with the food vendor for x many meals. She will be obligated to pay this even if no one attends.
S 2 years ago
I would have sent back the invitation with HAHAHAHA no written across it. But I'm a b***h, so
Mewton’s Third Paw 2 years ago
Easy. If you’re poor enough that you have to ask your friends to pay $75 each for dinner, then your friends are too poor to pay. If your friends are rich enough that $75 a plate isn’t a big deal, then you’re rich enough to just pay it yourself.
Grim Shady 2 years ago
I would agree for the most part, but I have friends from many social circles and economic levels. My wife and I did a community BBQ celebration after our wedding. Cheap, fun, casual, and family friendly.
Load More Replies... Christian Cartmale 2 years ago
Honestly, at my wedding, my wife, her parents, my parents, one of my aunt's and I paid for everything. We catered for 100 people for $2500 or something like that which we split with her parents, rented a big pavilion, set the venue at her folks' ranch (just a house with a horse stable across the driveway) and everyone parked in the pasture. I provided a few cases of beer and two bottles of wine per table of 5. We knew we weren't going to have alot of drinking guests. Ultimately towards the end of the night, I walk up to this little table that I hadn't noticed earlier and I asked my wife where all these bags and s**t came from, asked if we had changed our wedding favours. At this moment she informed me, "No you dumb dumb, these are all our wedding presents" What someone is bringing you for your wedding, should be the last thing on your mind. How much they need to pay you should not be on your mind period. These are the people who raised you, who loved you. They don't owe you.
Randolph Croft 2 years ago
If a couple is getting married, and money is tight, have a less grandiose wedding. That's how humans do it. Some of the most enjoyable weddings were in parks, as picnics (like, provincial parks, not city parks. Lakes and tables and stuff.) We were all working poor, we did fine. These people are entitled jerks.
Bobbi McGough Robert 2 years ago
We kept our wedding to what we could afford. It was a great day, and so far the marriage has lasted for 46 years. Looks like we came out ok!
Load More Replies... Munchkin 2 years ago
i would rather eat a raw onion than come to your wedding have a nice life~
Esiaa 2 years ago
More like I'd rather put a tabasco sauce in my eyes than come to your wedding. Demanding money like that and expecting people to agree is a quick way to lose contact with your family and friends.
Load More Replies... Pangolin Pal 2 years ago
Every time I read one of these PandaPosts about horrible brides and grooms demanding all kinds of expensive contributions from people who are supposed to be their GUESTS at big, over-the-top weddings, I remember with delight the very best wedding I ever attended, back in the 1980s, when my little sister married her college sweetheart (who is still, today, the world's greatest bro-in-law and the joy of my sister's life). They got married at the county courthouse, with me and my dad in attendance, doubling as witnesses and "guests." After the wedding, the four of us went to a wonderful Lebanese restaurant near the courthouse and ate a big celebratory vegetarian lunch, with lots of wine and happiness. The moral to my story is: it's the MARRIAGE that matters, not the "wedding." My sis and bro-in-law have a deeply loving, joyful 30+ year marriage, and their 15-minute courthouse wedding was the happiest day of their lives, as well as mine and our very proud dad's.
Mary Kayser 2 years ago
That is worse than tacky! Seriously, if you can't afford a wedding, you can have a small event. You can still wear a pretty dress and have a nice celebration, but you CAN NOT ask anyone for money, EVER! This is unbelievable! I wonder if anyone attended.
Seanette Blaylock 2 years ago
There's a difference between asking and demanding, of course.
Load More Replies... Aubrie Allen 2 years ago
Ok that's a ton of money for dinner. Why not ask your guests to bring a dish and have a pot luck dinner if you're strapped for cash?
Seanette Blaylock 2 years ago
Not Instagram-Princess-extravaganza enough.
Load More Replies... Dave P 2 years ago
I have a friend from a culture where people give money as a "gift" that covers their portion of the wedding. However they dont tell you, you find out through the grapevine how much. And they calculate the amount based off of those they know who cannot afford and "outsiders" like who were invited. They say it was to allow poorer people to have lavish weddings like everyone else. Though the rich have much more lavish weddings, but the average cost per person is the same as the other weddings (lots of cultural norms I learned about how much the costs can be), and then close relatives and friends give addiditonal cash to the new couple to help them start out. Great experience that wedding, and dear god they had so much food, just platters after platters on each table, and when one was empty a new one was places, with so much new food for me.
Giovanna 2 years ago
Somehow this is the custom where I live, Northern Italy. You usually can choose between a specific gift from a list made by the bride/groom, or you can give money. It's usually around 100€ anyway, and that's all.
Load More Replies... Suz66 2 years ago
If I'm going to spend $150 for my spouse and I, I'd rather go to a fancy steakhouse or something. Plan a wedding within your means. Our reception was classy but in my in-laws backyard. My father-in-law smoked briskets for days. We had a friend (professional caterer) do the side dishes (we paid her,) and another friend (professional baker,) make a cupcake cake, paid for by us. We had a great turnout and everyone was happy. The guests enjoyed a meal on us. Plus we didn't blow a lot of money for it.
Debra Adams 2 years ago
That is the best thing to do. More fun and guests don’t have to feel pressured
Load More Replies... Lp Johnson 2 years ago
I got wed in front of an "officiant" in the lower level of the country building then had a yard party/BBQ as a reception. Didn't change a THING about our loving relationship, and didn't factor in the tragic loss of him a mere year later. Seriously people, there are SO many more important things.
Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
If you can't afford to pay for the wedding yourself... you can't have a wedding that costs that much
GenericPanda09 2 years ago
If my family want someone at a wedding and we know they can't afford it, then we all chip in behind the scenes so they don't even know about the cost, if we want lots of people there and can't afford it - we wait till we can or we have small ceremonies and larger night parties where no one is having a meal.... what is the point in starting off your married life getting into debt or making other people feel uncomfortable to either be there or to be priced out of being there when they'd have liked to? I don't get it.
- 2 years ago
I worked with someone who had similar: a meal for a smaller group, then others could come for the party afterwards.
Load More Replies... Giovanna 2 years ago (edited)
Is this a common thing to do where you live, asking wedding guests to pay for dinner? This is def not a thing in Italy, although guests usually end up giving a gift/money which is more or less what the bride and groom payed for the dinner, so it ends up being even so to speak.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
I'm in the South of the United States and have never heard of this.
Load More Replies... Ann Umland 2 years ago
My husband bartended at a wedding several years ago. He asked for a $60 few, because he would have tips. There was a tip jar on the bar, which people were putting money in when the got drinks. At the end of the night, the MOB said the tip jar was place there for the couple. Apparently, they didn't know that bartenders were tipped. I had not heard of a couple getting tips on top of gifts. I'm sure many of the guests leaving tips had not either. They split the tips in half. Not classy.
Maxie Mills 2 years ago
I was once invited to the wedding of a colleague. I did not know that at the time it was expected to give a gift of money equivalent to what they paid for the plate in the gift card. I placed $35 in the card and after his honeymoon he told me that I owed him $15. I didn't give it to him because I felt if he wanted $50 per person he should have told me in which case I would have declined. I rarely have spent $50 on dinner.
Sherelle Griffin 2 years ago
Well that was crass of him. Even if you knew and couldn't afford more or simply didn't want pay that much it's in poor taste to ask for $15.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 2 years ago
There appears to be a whole generation of zillas who think that their wedding is simply a money grab and that everyone who knows them is obligated to play and pay. Wedding party members and guests need to just back out of these ridiculous performances.
Altezzoso Burton 2 years ago
The zillas' parents were probably like this, too. But no social media back then so...
Load More Replies... Li Nicho 2 years ago (edited)
I was an add one guest to a wedding. I was acquainted but no friends with both bride and groom. I scraped together two crispy new $20 bills (forty dollars) as a gift. Afterwards the wife said l at least should have gave $50. Ungrateful dog!!. That married couple didn't attend my wedding or respond with a decline because one of them was bothered by the condition that USPS delivered the mail. So they could have at least returned my $40 USD. 😆😆😆 I don't bother with befriending people like that. I distance myself from relatives like that. Don't think about them or speak about them. Until I am reminded about them. And by the way the guy I was dating did not give a gift and was never approached for one. Bless you.
Christina Wood 2 years ago
I think people don't know what a wedding reception is anymore. reception itself means to receive guests well wishes and support from family and close friends... growing up in New England Irish mid to low income generally our families and older people from our community would organize a massive potluck for the dinner and the amount of variety and spread would smoke anything you'd get on a plate for 75 bucks. most gifts would be homemaking in nature.. sheets dishes sometimes a smaller group would go in on a whole bedroom or living room set for the new couple WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A NICE PARTY AND SET LOVED ONES UP FOR THEIR LIFE TOGETHER.. how weird right.. monetary gifts at a wedding are considered in poor taste in our community... it's considered rude to showboat what you have to offer because perhaps someone else can't do as much.. usually money gifts are given at the "Kaylee" which is kind of like a shower or a social gathering the very night before the wedding .
Tricia Georgetti 2 years ago
Weddings are NOT I REPEAT NOT ABOUT THE PARTY! Too many people want a party not a marriage. My twin sis & I were in a bridal party once when we was 24. We had been friends with the bride since we were 5. We paid for her whole shower appx $3k @ 24y/o its a s**t ton of mone. No one in the bridal party or her fam chipped in. She had give us a diet plan. She was 5ft & weighed 98lbs soaking wet the other girls were similar size to her. After the shower we were out shopping she and she asked the girl at Mac what my sis & I could do to cover our red faces we're partIrish The girl suggestes we get spray painted, to which she told me we had to pay for. Last straw was at the time I was dating a Marine & she told me he couldnt come in his dress blues bc he'd be a distraction. My Uncles were Marines. 1 of which served in the Korean War. He's also our Godfather & fav person on this planet, beyond disrespectful. We called her told her to f'off & never spoke to her again that was 18yrs ago.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Wow. Just wow. Be proud of your heritage and your 'red' faces!
Load More Replies... Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Nothing unique going on with weddings, across all of society people, particularly young people, are regressing from civilized human beings to something more akin to sophisticated animals. My wife and I got married 18 months ago, 2nd time for both of us, and our engagement was 30 days. We had a small wedding, about 40 guests. Not our choice, we wanted all or friends there but Covid... We spent less than $2k and it was wonderful. It was about celebration, family, cherished friends and a new beginning for us. It even began to rain on us, literally during our 1st dance together. We didn't care, we just kept on dancing and considered it tears of joy from heaven! Perspective and attitude are so integral to true happiness. I wish this for all but see it less and less.
Constance Greenlee 2 years ago
BBC!!!! B be crazy! You tell a person upfront then they choose it was sneaky and underhanded which tells me a lot about what type of person she is to begin with
Bubs623 2 years ago
I never thought the gifts helped cover the cost of the wedding... in my family and friends 'circle', the bride's parents and sometimes the groom's folks would pay for the wedding and any money or gifts went to the couple getting married. It's like giving your nieces and nephews Christmas and bday gifts: each aunt and uncle is 'out' $100 bucks or so, but each niece and nephew just got a nice gift.
Gigi Bonner 2 years ago
To the recipient of this tacky and unbelievably inappropriate request- you handled it with such grace, class and dignity- I'm sure many others, including myself would have been tempted to have given a big f**k you- you are a class act!
Kristen Kidd 2 years ago (edited)
I can't imagine living my life this way. "Who are you to question what I do at my wedding?" B***h I'm the one youre demanding money from to pay for.. *whose* wedding?.. YOUR wedding? 🙄
Connie Bonneville 2 years ago
I went to a wedding as a plus one guest with my then boyfriend. I gifted $200 cash. I had never met them before and the bride was my boyfriends cousin. We bailed a little early after the reception and the next day I was trash talked by the family for not staying behind to help clean up the hall. Not him, just me. Whatever.
Louise Platiel 2 years ago
Wedding aside, people need all the facts and clear expectations in order to make an informed decision. No wonder people ended up canceling when a key part of the information was left out at the point they were asked to respond to the invitation.
David Force 2 years ago
I threw a very elaborate wedding for my daughter because I could afford it and she was an only child and a joy to raise. I suggested that we put on the invitation no gifts because my daughter really didn’t need anything and I was concerned about my guests that maybe couldn’t afford it. My wife, who is wiser than I am, said it would make our guests feel weird and uncomfortable if they didn’t give some kind of wedding gift. My wife did throw me a very large surprise 60th birthday party and I’m grateful she put on the invitation “no gifts”.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Your wife is a smart woman, people want to give and there are a variety of wedding appropriate gifts for every budget.
Load More Replies... Gabriel Gawrada 2 years ago
Mean trick to pull on guests, some of whom the couple might not even be that close to. A lot of it's about the gift/cash grab these days, and having a big party. Not everyone you've ever known cares that you're trying the knot.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
I have stood up in three weddings, worked in bridal floral for YEARS and I have NEVER experienced this level of entitlement. I don't hesitate to say 'bridezilla' here.
Lo Emmy O 2 years ago
Sounds like those that raised this chic did NOT teach her well. WTF? CRAZY. I would have returned her invite with Monopoly type money and said " Here, U know what u can do with this..." She also shiwed what she thinks of her "friends on the guest list by doing this...I, also, after being talked to with such ugliness and disrespect would have let her know that she was no longer welcome in my life - as it is filled with actual friends (this would include the definition of the word - it would also include the definition of 'ugly')
Evelyn Zayas 2 years ago
I've never heard of anything like this before, but my respond would have been "well I take it this is your wedding gift." Very very tacky. I would not attend.
Christina Wood 2 years ago
if this isn't going down at a wedding im not going. I'm not gonna pay for two jerks to pretend they're royalty for a day
Michael Gilbert 2 years ago
My wife and I got married for $35 at the courthouse. We've been together for a decade, and will be until death parts us. Anyone who spends thousands on a wedding is a self absorbed fool.
Shalonda Brantley 2 years ago
In all honesty,I CANNOT BELIEVE whoever this bride is, seriously thinks it's ok to say to friends & loved ones that "u may attend my wedding,but u must pay for your meal".. Uuhhmmm NO!.. it's YOUR WEDDING,YOU should have it catered ANYWAYS & let the folks attending eat for free,you cheap HEFFAH!!😂..it's unfortunate that SOME people can't just have an enjoyable wedding day WITHOUT all the BULLSPIT🙄..if u can't afford 2 feed YOUR GUEST then cut back on SOMETHING so u can afford to feed them,but DONT U DARE make them pay to eat...so NOT CLASSY
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
It is NOT cheap. I would not serve dinner at today's prices. These venues get away with stealing from you just because it's a wedding. Catering a dinner party is way cheaper.
Load More Replies... Lavender Oak 2 years ago
I tried to have a courthouse wedding but after checking 5 counties in my state, NONE of the offices would make appointments? In the times of covid at that?! Also in my state you have to have an ordained minister, no online certification or anything like that. So we tried to just find an officiant to marry us with just my parents there, but we had no good venue and just for a 15 minute ceremony, they're charging $500-$1500 . We started planning our Vegas wedding a week later. We'll be spending about $2500 for everything, for 2 nights and 3 days. I'm quite happy with that tbh. Instead of just a basic wedding we get a fun vacation and new experience since neither of us have been before.
Lavender Oak 2 years ago
And eventually we will have a reception/gathering for family and friends, when covid is going better and after we save up. Definitely wouldn't dream of asking any of my guests to chip in, other than the fact that we are pretty much vegetarian and I know my southern family will not survive a meatless meal. Because of that my parents offered to buy a pig from my cousin's farm and my cousin offered to smoke it. But that is their wedding gift to us, not our demand!
Load More Replies... Hatred Pony 2 years ago
"Recently, one guest shared..." This happened 3 years ago. Are we so desperate to create articles and get upvotes that we're digging through the depths of reddit?
K Witmer 2 years ago
They go w what's trending at the moment. This was trending again. I do wish bored panda wouldn't have these Reddit posts all together though. I don't have Reddit for a reason.
Load More Replies... The Cute Cat 2 years ago
My entire wedding cost is around 150 USD.. That include wedding reception in my wife house and wedding reception in my house. Yes we are very frugal.. But actually that is very normal here. Just, don't push yourself to hard for it Guys.. What you enjoy after the party is more important..
Myr Lopez 2 years ago
My partner and I will likely do a wedding in a park once we won't lose half my SSI (and half hers if she gets it) for doing so... if our friends are okay with it we might also ask for it to be a potluck since we're all fairly poor, a side dish or chips or paper plates could be in lieu of a gift. But even then, we'd make sure people were on board before sending invites, and only ask in the first place since our friends are the type to be chill with that. Plus, $10 max for potato salad or plastic utensils is a lot less than $75 per person.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
That actually gives people a way to feel they have a 'part' in the wedding too. Besides if they LOVE you they would be overjoyed to do that.
Load More Replies... D K 2 years ago
Whoa. My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for next March. Given that we are older (I will be 40 he will be 42, we both have a child from prior relationships, are by no means rich but “getting by”) we don’t expect anyone to pay for our wedding and certainly not the food - we are even budgeting to feed our vendors, too! The bride in this scenario is out of her mind!
hhh cubed 2 years ago (edited)
I'm not going to lie. I upvoted your comment initially because you know how to spell whoa. Then I read the rest and applaud your sense. I went to a wedding a few years ago and because I had nothing suitable to wear to such a fancy venue, I needed a new dress. Attending that wedding, including the gift and hotel, cost me, conservatively, around $500. If I didn't have savings I wouldn't have been able to attend. Weddings shouldn't cause financial hardship to the guests, in my opinion. I don't think a lot of people think of that when planning their wedding.
Load More Replies... Cynthia M. 2 years ago
Nope. No way. I have a hard time spending $6 for a Starbucks coffee cuz that's just a waste of money. Now some ppl want the guests/wedding party to pay for the "privilege" of being there. Big resounding NO. You get maybe a $40-50 gift. That's it .
PeachPossum 2 years ago
Gawd, I cannot decide which I find more disgusting, destination weddings or this trend of making friends and family members foot the bill for the reception meal. If you can't afford to do it yourself, then revise your plans until the cost of the event is within your budget. The only thing dumber than throwing a big bash wedding that you can't afford is throwing a $50,000 birthday party for a 1yo kid who won't remember a dang thing about it. Yrrrgh.
Tina Mercado 2 years ago
I'll say: Oh, I'll come if I can bring my own picnic basket with delicious charcuterie, a bottle of champagne and some wonderful sandwiches! (LOL). And I can stay outdoors to watch the display if there is an entrance ticket! It would not cost half as much, and I'll enjoy myself.
Terry Jensen 2 years ago
IMO in this country (USA) you do what is customary as a born and raised American. It is your responsiblity to pay for YOUR wedding NOT the guests...never! If you can't afford it then whittle it down ...can't imagine doing this and expeting to having any friends left. It amazes me that people will even think of trying to get the invites to pay for you wedding...its not just tacky its really a scam!!!
Mary Krajnovich 2 years ago
This was definitely in poor taste. I would like to say that my husband and I are for the most part on one income with 3 lids. We cannot afford to pay 150.00 for food and then a a gift. I understand the "gift price should equal the price of the meal" rule but we generally cannot even afford that. I think you should plan your wedding to be one you can afford, and passing the cost onto the guests is really tacky. Yes it IS YOUR DAY.... you chose the details, not the guests. Also I think to ambush people after they rsvp'd because you decoded to offset the cost of your expensive flowers and gown is just garbage. If pulling one over on people is your daily MO, delete me from your life completely.
Kim Kelley-Borzello 2 years ago
Let's be honest, a wedding reception is just a big, expensive party and I can't imagine throwing a dinner party, inviting people and having them pay for their meals. I had friends who got married. They both had huge families and friends they wanted in attendance. They rented space at a gorgeous park on a mountain top. About 20 of us brought camp stoves and volunteered to cook The bride and groom bought breakfast ingredients. The ceremony was at dawn on the mountain top and was beautiful. It was such a fun reception and for $1000 the couple was able to host around 150 people. The point is that there are ways to host a reception that don't cost $75 a plate.As a bonus, you get to keep your friends and aren't turned into the laughingstock of the family.
LeLe Lightell 2 years ago
Ha! My ex husband and I were invited (last minute) to his cousin's wedding dinner. We got all dressed up because neither one of us had eaten at that restaurant before. After we picked our meals, it was than passed around the table that we were to pay for our own food. My ex and I were not prepared to pay and if it had not been for my mother and father in law paying, I'm not sure how the night would have ended. We did not go to the wedding. That whole night left a bad taste in our mouths!
Laura Torres 2 years ago
Weddings are a complete waste of money and start a new marriage off with debt and stress!! Buy a house instead.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
That's what we did...small wedding with just family and close friends and bought a house.
Load More Replies... Laura Collins 2 years ago
I wonder if the parents of the bride and groom know that they are doing this? If I were the mother of the bride I would absolutely put my daughter in her place, its embarrassing.
Ronja Borkmann 2 years ago
My wedding is coming up in a couple of months and I am super excited. My soon to be husband told me that it is usual for Irish guests to give a money present which unofficial will cover the cost of their dinner. I have not informed anybody about the cost (which also would be 75€) and am not planning on doing so. I have not planned anything for which I do not have the money already, therefore I am not counting on everybody actually giving that money. At the end, any money present will be a bonus for us, but the day will be amazing either way. I definitely cannot understand how couples can expect everyone on paying any bigger amount on money for their wedding. They invite guests and not fundraisers. And even if financial help is needed I believe it can be asked for in a respective manner.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Do you pay for your own weddings? In the US the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. (We had to pay for some things because our parents could not afford everything). Any monetary gifts are for the couple. That would be weird to have to give it to my parents (since they paid for the majority of the wedding), right?
Load More Replies... Laura Eichensehr 2 years ago
I cannot believe the audacity of some people, when it comes to their weddings! I would never want to make my friends and family uncomfortable, or stressed about money. These are people that I care about. In fact, I wrote a message in my wedding invitations that stated that the only gift we wanted was the gift of their presence, on our special day. How selfish does one have to be to stress their loved ones out about money, and clothing specifications, and gift minimums, etc. Get over yourself already!!! Your "special" day shouldn't be a nightmare for everyone else, you thoughtless, self-centered brat!!! My weekends are way too precious to deal with anyone who is rating my worth over how well I adhered to all of their wedding rules and how big their gift was. Hell no....I'm good!
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
I had friends from college that lived out of state. I so wanted to go to their wedding, but I was still in college and poor. I knew if I went, I couldn't bring a gift. So I opted to send them a check for the would-be price of my airfare. I figured they could use the money more than my presence. Yes I missed out, and they probably didn't miss me. This was before Facebook, but now with Facebook, you can miss parties and still feel like you went cuz of all the pictures that get shared. I still don't know if I made the right decision or if they would have preferred my presence. But we are still friends and I can always look at their wedding photos. :)
Load More Replies... Darlene Fierro 2 years ago
I grew up in a time where people either married in a church or rented a hall and married there. Either way there was a hall for the reception and after that night a dance. Someone, usually an uncle or someone close made Asado outside in a disco. Other family members made beans, rice, potato salad, brisket etc Sometimes you had servers other times you had family member volunteers. But everyone stayed and cleaned up. Went home to rest a bit and came back for the dance. Depending on how long the night went people stayed to clean up or came back the next morning to clean so the couple got their deposit back.🤷♀️ of course there were decorations and a big cake but it was about getting together and celebrating the marriage. Now there is so much pressure to make it a production so that you can post it on IG or Tik tok or Fb. But for what? To be broke? All those likes and hearts won't matter a few days from then. The next big thing will be happening the next day and your in debt.
Gayle Valencheck 2 years ago
I have to wonder if the bride was possibly just extremely ignorant? And possibly very spoilt, too. But did any one bother to educate the foolish girl that it just doesn't work that way. That asking guests to pay is simply not usual, normal, or even acceptable. That it is traditional for the couple and their parents to pay for the entire event. I would have been curious to know her answer.
Sparrow Gael 2 years ago
I have heard of this happening. It seems to be the thing now. That said, I think it's wrong. That is like inviting people to a party and charging a huge cover fee. And...I'm sorry ... Anyone who opts to have an enormously expensive wedding ($25,000? Really???) Should make sure they can afford it. Sounds like this lady may be paying for a hall and a band and other expenses for just her immediate family. I would not attend. I think OP did it true.
DSbar 2 years ago
Something like this happened to me and my friends, we went to a wedding (civil union) and the actual ceremony was other day, but they invited us to it as well, and because my husband was the best friend of the groom, we went to the civil union as well (I don't know how weddings are in the States, but here, usually, there's two ceremonies, the more "informal" one -civil union- and then the religious one, the actual party, with the dress and all that, and mostly they're in two different days). The thing is, you're expected to go to lunch after the civil union, we were not going to stay for that, because they only invited us lightly and we didn't want to impose. Thing is, when we were about to leave, they INSISTED we stay, so, out of politeness, we did. After lunch ar a restaurant, they started gathering money to pay for ir, and MANY ordered wine and expensive drinks, we don't drink alcohol, but we had to split the bill in equal parts!!
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Yikes! The nerve of them to strongarm you like that! After reading all these comments, I think I would be terrified to attend a reception at a restaurant.
Load More Replies... Christina Wood 2 years ago
money is stuffed down deep into the basket... the idea of monetary attention in any aspect of a union in love marriage or in the "the house of God" if that's your way is extremely shameful and inappropriate. taking money out and exchanging it in any way before or during the wedding is tantamount to whipping your d**k out on the dance floor. OH. THE BAR IS FREE. usually the bride's family stocks it.. not hard and fast on that but there's usually enough booze to float a ship but if you're getting too loud and rowdy you'll be told to take a lap outside
Milady Blue 2 years ago
Wow, the last wedding I went to served Subway sandwiches, which were actually quite good. The ceremony was unique, since the bride and the groom were married sitting on their Harleys in the chapel, while the minister was on his own Harley.
Patricia Butler 2 years ago
She forgot to tell them that there's also a cash bar, a two drink minimum, and a cover charge at the door.
Lori Williams 2 years ago
So f@*king tacky, to demans your guests pay for the "privilege " of attending. There are many ways to keep costs down. It all depends on who the B&G (or the parents) are trying to impress.
Stealthee 3k 2 years ago
I've never spent $75 on dinner, let alone $150. I would have told the bride where she could shove it and washed my life of her very existence.
Dargonhuman 2 years ago
When my wife and I got married, we had the ceremony at a local park (free), got a cake from a local grocery store (about $10), got a stack of Little Ceasars Hot N Ready pizzas ($25), flatware and drinks from Dollar Tree (about $20) and told the guests to dress office casual as it was goimg to be hot that day. It was a great day and we kept it well within our budget. I don't get the "need" to spend an entire mortgage's worth of money on a single day event that most of the people going won't even remember. The wedding day isn't what's important anyway - what's important is all of the days afterward.
NamiKoa 2 years ago
I wonder to what extent it’s solely on „The Bride“. In all these kinds of posts it’s some bride from hell hitching herself to a hapless, innocent man and acting completely unacceptable or demanding ridiculous things - all on her own. This whole image of bridezillas does everyone injustice: both the women who are portrayed as insane, selfish monsters as well as the men who appear to be passive, voiceless bystanders in their own wedding. Yes, for our wedding I made many suggestions that my husband could choose a preference from, but there were also aspects that were important to him. At no point ever was there any aspect that I just went with without discussing and okaying it with him - or vice versa.
Christina Hill 2 years ago
This is outrageous! We did ask people to help with food but specified that we would like to do a potluck style buffet instead of gifts. Everyone had a great time. The memories you make are more important than overpriced food.
Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago
I'm sorry. This is so low class. YOU DON'T INVITE A TON OF PEOPLE TO YOUR WEDDING THEN ASK THEM TO PAY FOR SHÏT. That is some seriously BASIC BS. If you can't afford to pay $75 a person for 100 guests, have TWENTY & find cheaper food to serve. Our wedding 18 years ago consisted of a catered buffet & full fancy cocktail bar for 50 people (including our governor, doctors, attorneys, and a couple of CEOS--which I only mention because those types of people usually expect a very high-brow wedding experience), and every one of them said it was the funnest wedding they'd ever been to. The entire wedding, including rooms for out of town guests, my wedding dress, his & my kids' tuxes & dresses, the reception hall, catering, decorations, & open bar, cost less than $7,000. Because what's the point of spending $50,000-$100,000 on something that is super fancy & way over the top, when marriages have a 50% chance of survival, & the number one strain on marriages is financial instability?
Lori Oostendorp 2 years ago
Sounds like a shakedown to me........that bride was worse than a bridezilla! Talk about feeling entitled! I'd have noped out of that in a heartbeat too! And no more friendship either......with friends like her who needs enemies?
Débora Ceia 2 years ago
Okay. Thought I would share because we have a different culture in Portugal. In Portugal guests ask how much is the lunch/diner going to be per plate so they can pay. That's the wedding gift. But the way she presented it was odd. Like I never saw a couple asking for it, but is costumary and expected in here
Ember Hermin 2 years ago
"Who are you to ask about what I'm doing for my wedding?" One of the people you're inviting and asking to pay for it wtf This all could have been avoided with a delicious potluck wedding
Jill Tremblay 2 years ago
I would have liked to have heard from the husband to be on this. Wonder what he's like. Jeez, I wonder if the wedding actually happened....
joi 2 years ago
in 1990 awesome partner and i spent $200 to wed. Officiant who kept talking about some gawd dude cost $75, my flowers $25. I wore tie-dye. Partner's parents brought a Fedco sandwich tray, Martinelli's cidar and cake baked by family friend. No toasters; a handful of friends gathered in backyard of rental; all brought weed. non pics; just memories. Entertainment was our dealer telling stories and a friend's kid getting drunk. Caught an unwanted pregnancy that night because we forgot condoms. K's three procedures for hip dysplasia and childhood spent in hip spica casts impoverished us for years. enjoy partner's nature pics. |https://sites.google.com/view/cardinalbirds/potholder-gallery
Brent Jones 2 years ago
The most beautiful wedding I have ever attended was for my niece. There is an open air chapel in the wild wood were we live that anyone can use and its free. There is a large pavilion near by that is too. The only thing you need to do is reserve it. The family made the food, flower arrangements and decorations. A friend of the family is a preacher and performed the ceremony. I did the video and photography. Everything came out amazing and the photos showed the love between her and her husband on her special day. It was magical!
Nic Soderman 2 years ago
Why are weddings so expensive (usually)? Because you pay for every effing thing so that the guests don't have to...
Brittany Liles 2 years ago
I want to know what she's planning to serve for $75pp. My grandma and mom made our food and it was delicious, meaningful, and inexpensive!! If my wedding dress wasn't so tight I would have pigged out!! Also, it was beautiful, the food does not have to cost YOU lol but definitely NOT YOUE GUESTS!! Still for $75pp it seems the bride and groom are MAKING MONEY on their guests!
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
My wedding reception costed $75 per person. It is real and it is stealing. These venues think they can charge an arm and a leg just because it's a wedding. Sometimes you don't have a choice but to use their services, without getting into details.
Load More Replies... Public Citizen 2 years ago
$75 per ? No thank You. Dinner [at a nice restaurant with a menu ~we~ choose] and a movie costs less than that, we don't have to dress up, and we'll have a better time. Plus with the cost of gas, we don't have to take out a loan for travel expenses.
Destiny Harrison 2 years ago
People need to stop with this nonsense. Live within your means and if you can't afford to feed everyone your inviting maybe scale back? It's not about how nice or how much you got that day anyway. It's amazing how many people don't know this.
Tasha Helphenstine 2 years ago
Listen up Bridezillas! Just bcuz some dumbass finally decided to marry you doesn't grant you the right to be a complete monster devoid of decency, caring, consideration, appreciation & above all else GRATITUDE! To think you somehow get a pass to be a completely wretched human being. No ma'am! just because you've dreamed of this huge wedding since you were 5 does not mean I give 3 shits, 2 damns or 1 f**k about contributing 1 dime to your special day-that does not mean I have been dreaming of being a part of it. You want to save a few bucks, fine but don't ask you guests to pony up and cut your costs. Might be shocking to hear but NO ONE wants to go to ANYONES wedding if it's going to cost them$$. Stop thinking your special day is special to anyone but YOU! THE GIFT your guests give you is their presence, their joy, their happiness & their toasts to you. Thinking you've a right to anything more than that makes you someone I'd rather not know. Peace Bitchy Becca.
Janet Goodfellow 2 years ago
I don't think anyone should charge anything from their guests. When my husband I got married we did a potluck dinner and made all the food the night b4 our wedding and we never cared about money or gifts we just wanted our family and friends to be there when we got married. Everything is so materialistic now. How about just enjoying life and being around good people.
AzKhaleesi 2 years ago
this is insane. First off.... 25k for a wedding is insanity. I just got married in december, it was a beautiful "Rustic Christmas" wedding. Cost me less than 8k. And most of that was the venue / photographerS. Everything else I DIY'd. Like EVERYTHING. Every decoration, Invites all that. We didn't even do "save the dates" I think that's stupid. We just send our invites out early so people could reserve the time etc. On the invites I did put that in Lieu of wedding gifts we were asking for honeymoon donations but was of course optional." Hubby and I are older and we already bought our home and all that, we didn't really NEED anything. And guess what? We recieved a few cute tangible gifts but everyone pretty much reciprocated and we got gorgeous heartfelt cards to keep and our whole honeymoon (two week two destinations to include airfare, hotel, spending money, shopped on a budget) ended up being paid for by our family and friends - granted - we know how to shop on a budget.
Elizabeth Molloy 2 years ago
We couldn't afford to pay for venue, meals, etc., so we had a tiny wedding, parents only. Gave everyone two weeks's notice, and they were sworn to secrecy. Ate at a local pub, decorated my own cake, seaside B&B for the honeymoon. It was lovely!
Lisa Shaw 2 years ago
This is right up there with the couple that charged $3.50 for a slice of the wedding cake, payable at the wedding and then spent the days after the wedding reviewing the video surveillance and contacting people who had more than one piece and demanding they cashapp them the money right away!
Angela Jensen 2 years ago
You know...this would be like inviting people over to your house for dinner then billing them at the end of the meal. The very word "reception" indicates you as the bride and groom are receiving guests, which indicates that you are the person responsible for the cost...not the guest. The reception is for the people in attendance to thank them for sharing in your special day. Yes, please give me an expensive gift and money for your food. Heck, just pay for my wedding too. After all... it's *MY* special day.
Tina Newman 2 years ago
We couldn't afford to have a big dinner for the people who came to our wedding reception. So we did not have a big dinner. We advised that there would be finger foods. We supplied the finger foods and the champagne. But we would never ever have asked everybody to come to a huge dinner and pay 75 bucks a piece to be there.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
We did finger foods, sandwiches and desserts and no one left hungry
Load More Replies... Barbara Yates 2 years ago
This is a hard pass for me even if I can afford it. Like many said you want a gift and I pay for my meal? You are obviously forging ahead on something you cannot afford. Nothing wrong with not affording or low key doing something you can afford. I would more respect I'm sorry I'm not able to invite you but if you want to bless us with a gift from our registry or a monetary gift we thank you in advance or something like that but uh uh I'm changing my acceptance and with no guilt because not only was I reprimanded for asking why but telling me pay or don't come...gladly sweetheart remove my name from your guest list...now if I already purchased a gift for you...lucky you will still get it but if I have not lucky me.
T. D. P. B. 2 years ago
22 years ago I'm positive we spent less than $10,000 and had a nice service and reception without demanding our loved ones CASH US OUT! This is some of tackiest, rudest, BS I've ever heard. It's your wedding, the couple and their parents pay, the guests are just that, guests who came to celebrate us and bring love and gifts/cash
Britt_Max 2 years ago
I will never understand this. I’m the least people-pleasing person I know, but the whole point of having a wedding is to celebrate with people you care about. We just wanted to make it as fun and easy as possible for our friends & family to attend. Of course our wedding was about us as a couple, but we also wanted to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves. But then again we actually LIKE all the people we invited, they weren’t just there as some type of prop or seat-fillers.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Wouldn't making it as easy as possible on the guests include providing dinner? (Which is where the venues make all their money). They get away with murder simply because it's a wedding and it isn't right. I told my venue I'd pay $30 a person, but $60 is just stealing. But if you have no choice but to have a week night wedding after everyone gets off work, don't you think you should serve dinner? If you serve just cake, when exactly are they supposed to eat a real meal? That was my dilemma and ended up having to pay $60 per person for BUFFET STYLE, which is insane to me, PLUS $5 per person for the cake, plus $3 each hors d'oeuvres x2. That's > $18,000 right there. I see weddings as a huge family affair, a reunion, a celebration, everyone, extended and otherwise, attends. It was VERY VERY hard for me to not invite some friends because we simply could not afford it. So, we had 250 and we even had some people invite themselves to our reception. We probly had 210-230 attend the reception.
Load More Replies... Gwen Johnson 2 years ago
Weddings are supposed to be about bride and groom not a show ..save your money and wish them well...stay home. They need well wishes more than you need a cold inedible meal anyway
Noel Leydon-lewis 2 years ago
You want them at ur wedding you pay there meal. Its a gift for them to share ur happyness. We paid 175 euros for each person meal and then added in first drinks cause we want them to see us on our day. If someone told me to pay for the price i would like "go and jump" with that when going to weddings we always give money that hopefully covers the meal and more of we can. to help the new couple
Maxie Mills 2 years ago
When I got married I planned on it being just me and my husband. He wanted guests . We were getting married at Niagara Falls. We invited a few people and told them that if they wanted we could go to the Casino buffet afterwards. On the invitation I told them they would have to pay for their own meals and that we did not except gifts. We had about 30 people attend. It was a beautiful day. Out of that about 20 came to the buffet. I provided wedding cake. The Casino wouldn't allow me to bring champagne. They were nice and gave us a private room. I still feel tacky that I couldn't pay for everyone's meal. Besides that it was a beautiful affair.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
If your husband wanted guests, he should have saved up the $$$ to pay for their meals. Expecting them to pay just because it's at a restaurant and not a catered reception is still bad form. I don't mean for you to feel bad, as you knew better, but you need to be the guide in these matters and put your foot down when your husband has other ideas. Husbands often require a LOT of training.
Load More Replies... Gianna 2 years ago
I am guessing she's marrying someone and what was their thought of this? I wonder if the partner even knew about this, if so, then they are meant for each other. Anyway, the bride is very rude, ghetto and being a b***h. I hope no one showed up and she realized what an ass she is being. These stories, if they are true, seems to be happening more often than none. I can't believe the parents of the bride and groom didn't try to talk to the b***h about this.
HVAC Dispatch 2 years ago
Ohhhh, I get it. She simply wanted guests to eat beforehand. She's funny, adding the $150 after receiving rsvps. Her- "Pay to eat, it's my wedding!" Guests- "Please change our rsvp to decline."
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago (edited)
This is an entitled millennial and Gen Z young person thing, especially young women. They get married out of selfish greed to get free things. It’s about securing their meal ticket. Marriage to them is about making their life easier, not about love, compromise, and being a team with their partner. It’s feminism at it’s finest, and exactly why less and less men are getting married. You selfish, stuck-up h0es can enjoy the single life broke while we enjoy the single life and our money. 🖕😆
Private 2 years ago
I have never been to a wedding where the couple told you how much they were being charged per person, nor has anyone ever requested a certain amount as a gift. When I got married, we didn't tell anyone the costs. We invited who we wanted there and if they gave a gift, great, if not, it sucked but what can you do? The one thing I DID do was keep track of who gave what so when we went to their wedding or event, we reciprocated equally. The only exception is if I knew a guest I invited didn't have the money, they got a pass, but people who I knew had it and didn't give a decent gift, that's who I reciprocated to. Some people we wanted there even tho we knew they couldn't afford a gift, and that's ok. I didn't expect anything from them, we just wanted them there.
Hannah C 2 years ago
Some people are just gross and blinded by their own self entitlement. Poor taste indeed? A Karen for a mother? Ive been to many weddings, 2 were destinations, none asked for money, usually theres a registry included if your feeling so inclined. I get annoyed when people ask for the most expensive items they can find though. But you still have options or to just bring cash as a gift to offset wedding costs. My friend in Hawaii asked for nothing because we flew there for $1600 total, with a 3 week notice and he was just thrilled his best friend was there with him. He paid for everything else. My other bestie had hers 10 hrs away in north Carolina, 3 days, 3 dinners, 3 lunches, 2 breakfasts, literally the best food I've ever had. Her rsvps requested NO gifts. But included a link to gift money towards home and honey moon if guests were so inclined. Most guests want to give you something, especially older relatives so it's good to provide a place for that. But she didn't ask for it.
Lois Forbes 2 years ago
We got married in my husband's Grandma and Grandpa's front yard (they meant the world to my husband. No place we'd rather be). My 3 girlfriends were my attendants (I told them "wear anything, just don't try to match"). My husband had his Uncle, Cousin, and best frend as best man. Inside was a lovely table set with candles, punch, and a beautiful wedding cake, made by his aunt. It was such a surprise. Then we went out for pizza and beer with a few friends of ours. We had decided to get married just 10 days before. So, with very little time and almost no input from us (other then it would be at his grandparent's house) his family gave us the perfect wedding, with wonderful memories included (for free!). We've always said we must have done something right, because this took place 43 years ago!😊
Kristie Boperson 2 years ago
The bride and groom could have saved a pretty penny by sending a less elaborate invitation. Was no one able to talk them out of this ridiculous idea? Personally, I kind of enjoyed the challenge of finding ways to make the wedding beautiful without spending a boatload of money. It's ONE day. Spend the money on a memorable vacation or as a down-payment on a home instead. That way you can keep your friends.
Cindy Temps 2 years ago
Many years ago my friend's daughter got married. On the invitation it said something like, "in lieu of gift we ask for a cash gift to help pay for the wedding." That was bad enough and was gauche, tacky and rude. I got a gift from a nice department store and ignored the begging for money. The mom, my friend, had the nerve to come up to me a few weeks after that and berate me for giving a gift instead of money. I had given her daughter a bridal shower so I brought out all my receipts to show her what i had spent on the bridal shower, which was a lot of money. And I told her it was gauche to ask for money.
ian88thebadseed 2 years ago
My husband and I got married at city hall and had a quick lunch at a local molina. Then 3 months later we had a celebration of our wedding at a friend's restaurant and explicitly said on our invites "the only gift we want is your presence at our hosted celebration." Me & the husband made all the food and decorations and all had a beautiful day!
Vicki Brown 2 years ago
When I was a child, we knew some people who got married - the daughters of people my parents knew. They had weddings followed by a cake and punch with mixed nuts and mints reception. I thought that's wat weddings were like. About 10 years later my cousin got married (first time) and he and his bride hosted a sit-down dinner. I suppose his 2nd and third weddings were similar; I didn;t attend those.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
It has NEVER been acceptable to charge guests to attend a wedding. Never. The point of the wedding is for the family to bring everyone together to celebrate the married couple, and the party is a GIFT from the family to the guests. I don't care that people are trying to normalize charging guests- it's wrong, it's disgusting, and people need to say NO to these greedy, tacky demands.
Sara Harvilla 2 years ago
It's the marriage that is important--not the wedding!!! My husband and I had a simple wedding with a cake and punch reception and then a party at our home afterward for a few close friends. It was lovely and apparently, it took. We will be married 35 years this July.
Melissa Eunson 2 years ago (edited)
We had 36 guests so it was affordable for us to pay. I've never heard of asking guests to pay!!!
Animalsrgreat 2 years ago
I’ve hosted three weddings for my children recently, and it never occurred to me to ask guests to pay for their food. If you pay for your own meal, you aren't really a guest are you? Super tacky.
Sheenagh Murphy 2 years ago
So RUDE - I can't even get my head around this!! I would NEVER charge a GUEST who was kind enough to come celebrate my special day for ANYTHING - and that includes booze. I would (and did) keep my wedding to what WE can afford - we are hosting, we are requesting them to join us!
Lingerie De Paris 2 years ago
They tryed and got shot down. Better to do that t the old way, backyard party , bowling alley or just appetizers and cheap wine or beer.
Kuroi Tsuki 2 years ago
My husband and i spend $110.00 dollars for the wedding it was just my big brother my husband and i,and we're going to be 19 years of married this year
GoddessOdd 2 years ago
I know that I am old, and in some things very old fashioned, but this is just the rudest of the rude to me. I was raised to never ask for a gift, or even hint that I expected something, and spending half a year's salary to pay for a wedding would have been the height of stupidity... unless you were very wealthy, or your parents were. I would never dream of attending any wedding that expected money from me, for any reason. For me, I would rather buy a house or furnish one with that money; I only had a wedding because my in-laws insisted, and it was very low key. The 50 or so guests seemed to all have a great time, and no one was in debt at the end of it. If you can afford to host a wedding with a $250 per plate meal, then bless you. If not, don't expect anyone else to do it for you. A cocktail reception is very nice, and a lot less expensive.
Daniel Koon 2 years ago
Are these weddings or political party fundraisers??? Unbelievable. No way in Hell would I pay it.
Artur Oliveira 2 years ago
Hi everyone. I'm Portuguese, and it's kinda "normal" for people to pay for they're meal's here. Either birthday's, weddings, party's in general. Money is expensive these day's and, has I said before, it's the "norm" for you to pay for your meal. The first question after "where" is "how much". Anyway, and saying this, even here, where the norm is for guests to pay for they're meal, it's ALSO common practice to inform the said guest how much is he gonna be out of pocket for such meal. Not saying anything led everyone of her guests to think "naturally" that the meal was included. On top of that huge mistake, she even went to the extent of asking for money "after" the guests accepted the invitation. Very distaful and inappropriate.
Vishal Babrekar 2 years ago
Seems…the bride was thinking she’s Aishwarya Rai or Angelina Jolie, so guests will have to pay to attend and witness this grand day.
Eb 2 years ago
What happened to working out how much you could afford plus anything parents wanted to contribute, setting a budget and planning based on that? How is it OK to say, this is the wedding I want and I expect everyone else to pay for it? And what will their married life be like if they can't set a budget? Crazy.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
You gotta love the class with which OP informed the bridezilla that she was in error. I haven't heard caveat used properly in a long time. Good one.
somnomania 2 years ago
weddings are such a wild concept to me, all the formality and traditions when you can accomplish the same thing in your backyard, with homemade food, your close friends and family, and comfortable clothes
Kevin Bouknight 2 years ago
For my wedding, we planned to cater it ourselves and it be a light, rather casual meal. When our church found out what we were doing, they took the reception from us and my godmother's restaurant joined in. We wound up having a feast as a wedding present. No one paid a dime and we were overjoyed. The mess the Bridezilla in this article created should make her choke on it and regret it for the rest of her life.
Jodie Clark 2 years ago
We just did cheesecakes from Sam’s Club (afterward, we had so much leftover cheesecake, and it was awesome), cookies for the kids, sparkling juice, and a simple sorbet punch. Everything else was equally within our budget but still looked nice. We didn’t even care about having a wedding, but did so for our families, so it was more important for people to be able to be there, anyway. It worked out, I think - we’ve been married almost 20 years.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Getting out of debt was one of the best days of my life! I cannot imagine spending $10, $20, $50k on something as fleeting as a wedding that I didn't have in the first place. Once you a free of debt you never want to get back in it again. Debt-free is freedom!
cherish meyer 2 years ago
If you want help off setting the cost of your wedding, don't charge people for things on the day of your wedding. Do what Manitobans do, it's called having a social. It's basically dancing and silent auction prizes and 50/50 draws and of course booze that you have to pay for (but is usually cheaper then if you were purchase a drink at a bar) once everything is paid for the money that is surplus is the money you use to help pay for your wedding or whatever you want. You get 2 big parties out of it and it always helps to offset the cost of the wedding. I know some people that made enough that the wedding cost them nothing in the end and they had their first house down-payment by the end of the social that night. And for food it's called getting a social platter, so lunch meats and garlic sausage and bread and pickles, cheese and of course all different kinds of desserts. Either donated by friends and family or purchased for the social. 2 parties to celebrate your wedding woho!
Majduneldb Hfidbrs 2 years ago
Where i live most ppl make you pay to go to their wedding...lucky us most of the population isn't married and never will be. I don't get why ppl get married if they can't afford to pay for it all but if you will ask ppl to pay their meal you say it straight ahead in the invitation not after ppl RSVPed
Joseph Fabozzi 2 years ago
I feel sorry for her partner to be I don't think I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone like this (is this by any chance Laura Trump)
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
I sincerely doubt it is LT. Everytime I've heard her speak she is very pleasant and charming.
Load More Replies... W. Dearth 2 years ago
I’ll gladly pay for my dinner, that means no wedding gift/cash. You’re supposed to give enough to cover your meal.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No, that is NOT a rule. There is no transaction involved between the host and guests. It's rude to expect something from a guest. It's polite for the guest to give a gift to the bride and groom, but it's meant to be a token of affection, not a contribution to offset the cost of the wedding, and the guest traditionally has a year to send the gift if they don't bring it on the day of the wedding.
Load More Replies... Rona Demmy 2 years ago
Very rude, I wouldn't go or send a gift, which is usually cash. When I got married we didn't have much money so my new husband's family provided all the food, each brought a dish large enough to share with 25 guests, one even cooked a large turkey for all. We received lovely gifts and cash, we were so very grateful to have such a beautiful wedding dinner. They also brought their own bottle, we supplied the pop and beer.
Rachel Betancort 2 years ago
In Spain where I live, it's an unspoken rule that you pay for what you think the meal and open bar would be and do not buy physical gifts. Around 100 euros per person (adult) No one would straight out ask for it though. No one would ever show up with a gift either. Most couples live together and already have their homes set up anyway.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
My 1st marriage cost my dad and I approx 5k and that included a 2wk vacation for Mom, Dad and my 4 sibs. I basically paid for all the wedding froo~fra but I forced Dad to pay for my gown and veil (a whopping $800 for both, which is very reasonable). I think I spent far more than my folks did. We would *never* have thought to charge guests to attend the wedding! My second wedding was just signing papers in my favorite historical bar in Ypsilanti, MI. The owner's bought me and my bride a drink as our present~~more fun was had there than at my formal wedding!
Amanda Moore 2 years ago
The comment above in Asian countries it is customary to give money not gifts to bride and groom. In Japan you are invited with expectation to pay ¥30000 ($300) minimum as a friend. Dates are not usually invited until the after party. managers of groom pays at least $500 and they sit the closest to the bride and groom. Food and drinks are provided too.
Janice Parks 2 years ago
They should have had a non-alcohol option to make it cheaper. A vegetarian option and also if it’s a beef steak it better be a good cut cooked to order. Price will need to include a server. If it’s a buffet it should be cheaper, too. The price does seem high but it also depends on the venue. She could lose the bad attitude and work better with the venue.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No. The point is not for the guests to get a good value for their money. The POINT is that the bride and groom should not be asking for a cent from their guests. It's absolutely wrong to do this.
Load More Replies... Web Mailroom 2 years ago
At one afternoon wedding I attended, the bride and groom made people wait for the reception over the dinner hours without providing even a few snacks. Everyone assumed some food was going to come. When no snacks or meals appeared after an hour or so, people started raiding the fridge in the church basement to find a few bites of cold food to eat.
Pep Leking 2 years ago
I got married when I was broken af, but we just reserved a decent restaurant and it was clear from the start that everyone pays for their food, then we moved to where the party, dancing and all that stuff happened. Like in what world would you invite poeple and then later on asking then for money. Just make it clear for the start, it doesn't take Einstein, just common sense.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
NOT ok. Doesn't matter if it's "clear from the start", you shouldn't expect guests to pay for ANYTHING. Either have a smaller wedding or WAIT until you save up enough to afford it.
Load More Replies... Sabrina 2 years ago
Would be nice to know how the op responded after that 7-second silence but there's an ad covering it so the entire story is pointless
Miss Ann Thrope 1 year ago
There's no law that says you have to attend the reception. Malicious compliance. Attend the wedding, then leave. Then go with your pals to a restaurant.
Sylvia Genders 1 year ago
The rudest weddings in my life: 1) Colleague got engaged, so I got her a small gift. Then I got an engraved announcement (not party invitation) with noted expectation. I ignored it. 2) J's first wedding was pot luck, and not everyone got a seat at a table. They split up shortly thereafter. Her second wedding was on Halloween on a Friday night, pot luck, expectations noted, on a badly photostated invitation. Apparently some people showed up in costume, not much food or attending. Got a new invitation for an outdoor sunrise wedding and breakfast at 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, in Canada, no public transportation until 9 a.m. Having kids, I didn't go to either. 3. Ex had moved on to fourth wife, who tried to sell $50 tickets for wedding to her salon customers. No-one bought any so she invited them to the wedding now being held in a party room with a cash bar. His mother and all his kids joined to wrecked the photos (there were reasons for the anger).
Leelee Cee 1 year ago (edited)
This is why I have chosen to never get married. I have never really had the desire to get married let alone have a wedding. I always believed that u dont need a ceremony n legal document to prove your love to someone. But my kids dad really wanted to get married so i actually did start planning a wedding at one point. Mind u we already had a child so in my personal opinion a huge wedding wouldnt have been appropriate anyways. Unfortunately my grandmother, mother n stepfather w/whom I was very.close unbelievably all passed within that yr..it was just too much n the excitement of a wedding no longer existed along with the venue. But what we did plan was very simple...get married at the courthouse n have a small outside reception for family n close friends on a beautiful spring/early summer evening at the house my gmom, mom n stepdad shared. It had a huge yard n heated pool that would've made for a beautiful reception. The decor/music etc was going to be made by myself n those who chose to help. I'm not above making decor from the dollar store n walmart. (My mother n I did my entire baby shower with diy stuff from the dollar store n walmart n it was classy n beautiful). We had some favorite local food places that we were going to order from. What we couldnt afford to order we were going to make. Its not that hard to plan something beautiful within your budget. We actually stayed together before we parted ways (amicably).
Nicky H. 1 year ago
Honestly in today's world I can understand having guests chip in on dinner. My own daughter just got married and the cost was really really hard on me, if not detrimental. Things just aren't like they used to be for the middle class. If there even is such a thing anymore. I wish I had thought of having the guests pay for a meal. You know the whole "it takes a village" idea. Before you yell at me we did not do that and if we had not only would it have been on the invite we would have discussed it during the planning stage as well. Clearly something was missed during this bride's upbringing.
Kat Min 1 year ago
This wedding madness needs to stop. Back to the basics: A decent venue, (church is optional) halway decent food, free wine, music, some room to dance and maybe a simple, local bachelorette evening some time before. A simple wishlist or the option to just donate some cash. We are neither Royals nor stars of a Hollywood movie. It is too much!
Pat Ferryman 1 year ago
Geesh 75 is more than I pay at the steak house for both of us. Is too much. Booze I don’t drink don’t ask me for mo ey fork blooded that is just wrong. Sounds like someone wants the guest to pay for an extravagant wedding. If you can’t afford it do do it. I have never been to a wedding I had to pay for except my own.
Pat Ferryman 1 year ago
Nah 75 is more than I pay for us to go out. Pay as you go bar or no bar if you can’t afford it. People who don’t drink shouldn’t have to pay for booze. I’ve never been to a wedding I had to pay to go to. Most people make a budget they can afford and stick to it. The over the top stuff is not my fault and I shouldn’t have to pay for your extravagance
Raymond Core 1 year ago
If it was someone I knew well, I would agree and then, not pay. I would come to the wedding but skip the reception.
Daryl Lindsay 1 year ago
Honestly, I suspect the Bride was attempting to exaggerate the dinner price to pay for other wedding costs. Rather Shady!
Data Two 1 year ago
Call me old school, but under no circumstances is money even mentioned either as a gift, or especially to pay for the proceedings. This applies to everything, including funerals. The only time, and I say this only because it was mentioned out of genuine concern for a cause, is to tactfully ask that people refrain from gifting and instead make a donation to a particular charity or even one of their own choosing. In this day, it seems people are intellectually drugged by reality television, HGTV, and the like. All these shows do is confuse people into thinking that reality is the norm, when in most cases it doesn't even come close. And this includes the way they live, the things they buy, the size of their homes and their surroundings. Not everyone lives in a destination city, pays half a million for a three bedroom 1800 sq foot home, or a fancy town house or condo. Also, not everyone acts like self-interested idiots… well, a good sizable portion of the population do not anyway.
actionjksn 1 year ago
I go to an unusually large number of weddings. My wife teaches at a small liberal arts university and gets a lot of invites from students, Plus she has a lot of friends so we just end up going to a lot of weddings. I'm not really that into the weddings but the receptions can be fun, especially when there's an open bar. I've never heard of this scenario in this happening at any of these weddings. And then there is the wedding expert at the end of the article. She's saying it should not have been written on the invitation and that it should be on the website. I'm not sure why she is assuming that weddings have their own website by default. If they do I haven't seen it, but I'm sure a lot of weddings do not have a website. It sounds like this person cannot afford a formal wedding and they want to have one anyway. Maybe they could have afforded the wedding if they found someone cheaper to cater it. Spending large amounts of money on a wedding when you're not well off is stupid.
Pon taseous 1 year ago
In my family, we usually give red pockets to the bride and groom as wedding gifts.
Jasmine Gross 1 year ago
It's really sad that she tried to guilt trip the people who were only concerned about their own wallets. She sounds like a rude person who expects people to bow to her
D. Nicole Hiljus 1 year ago
Having recently married off a daughter just as we were finally recovering from college tuition I can tell you it does indeed take a village No we didn't charge guests, we cut the guest list and many other corners. But this bride is outrageous! The way she went about it is truly disgusting.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
The strangest one for me, and this was over 20 years ago, was being handed an invitation by a coworker. It was odd because she handed it to me and walked off without saying what it was! This was a coworker from another department I never spoke to outside company-related matters. I declined and handed it back to her later that day. With an annoyed look, she opened it right then and asked why I didn't include any gift money! I immediately told her we were not friends and never socialized, so how dare she expect me to pay anything for her wedding? It turns out she gave everyone an invitation. I later learned from another coworker that she counted on almost everyone to decline but to feel guilty and include a gift. WTH?
David Smith 1 year ago
I think I'd go to the wedding, but then skip out on the reception. I'm not used to paying $75 for dinner, when I can get a pretty decent dinner for $15 at my favorite restaurant.
Susie Evans 1 year ago
I think the bride, groom and their families should pay for the venue, food, decorations and photography. The only thing wedding attendants should pay for are their dresses and tuxedo rentals.
Elora Danan 1 year ago
I honestly want to know what Universe some people live in who assume a marriage won't last because one or both parties are c*nts. The most toxic people often have super long relationships, either because one person is too dumb to leave or has been beaten down so much they're too weak/scared to leave. The most horrible person I know (she's abusive, controlling, and straight up psychotic, to the life she forced into the world and to her husband) has been married for going on 40 years. Yet I know incredibly lovely people who aren't even given a chance by someone they have feelings for. Terrible people have no issue getting in and staying in relationships.
Vivian Ashe 1 year ago
It requires a massive sense of entitlement to think other people "owe" you some life experience you've always wanted but can't afford. If you're throwing a party, you pay for the party... the fanciness of which will vary according to your means. If you come to the party, you bring a gift... the price of which may also vary according to your means. This shouldn't have to be openly stated, it's basic good manners.
El Howard 1 year ago
Off topic, but a word of advice: Do not get and ice cream cake for a wedding, especially a midsummer wedding! My friends did this (my ex picked out the cake), the reception hall wasn't air conditioned, and shortly after I pointed out to the other people at my table, the whole cake fell over onto the floor... just before the bride and groom arrived at the reception.
El Howard 1 year ago
The social contract is, "We give you expensive wedding presents, the bride's family spends way too much on the wedding, including food and drinks." Of course, for my own wedding, I paid for the entire think out of my own pocket, but the venue, food, and wine was only about $2000. Bride's wedding ring was another $1000; forget what the dress cost.
WeirdSymptoms 1 year ago
"If you send me money for a stamp, I'll send you a nice greeting card for your wedding and written explanation of where you can put it!"
Eh-non-o-mous 1 year ago
Martha Stewart’s wedding book says that all you need to serve is some cake and champagne for one toast (or grape juice if going non-alcoholic.) And it can be a meaningful wedding, although simple. If that is all they can afford, that is what they should serve. The bride and groom have no experience attending weddings and are operating from ignorance. It’s a shame.
Debbie Linfoot 1 year ago
A friend some 30 years ago wanted the wedding but as she and her partner had been living together for many years did not want gifts for asked the guests to pay for the meal (which was reasonably priced) instead. It worked out well for everyone but there was no sense of entitlement and she was upfront from the beginning. It's all in the asking I think because I would have been really annoyed if someone had pulled this on me.
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago (edited)
Two things here. If you can't afford a dinner reception, serve fruit stands (with the chocolate fountain), hors d'oeuvres, or just cake, and let your guests know ahead of time that dinner won't be served so that they know to eat before hand. I hate going to a wedding hungry and then it's only cake. Secondly, if they are really your friend, are you going to let $150 get between you?? I would have let her know it is in really bad taste to tell your guests to pay for their meal AFTER their yes RSVP. I would have told her it's wrong and you need to fix yourself. If you don't, it says a lot about you and I'm not sure how long our relationship will last after this. If you really want a full service wedding (granted, the meal IS for your guests, you do want it nice for THEM) and you need help paying for it, send out a nice letter informing everyone, "we would really like to serve dinner for you all, but there is no way we could afford it. We ask for at least half the cost of your plate."
Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
Or something to the effect of "we would appreciate any help you could give" or take a poll of your guests if they would rather just have dinner on their own, and come for an afterparty, like a cake only reception. But do that BEFORE sending out invitations, during the planning phase.
Load More Replies... Rebecca Aranda 1 year ago
I really feel for any bride wanting to do a dinner these days. I paid $60 per person, $5 per person for the cake and $3 or $5 (don't remember) per person for hors d'oeuvres, which we served only 2 to keep costs down, and ended up spending $32K for my wedding. We needed to give the guests something to do while we took pictures, so the hors d'oeuvres were kind of necessary. Most people don't have that kind of money lying around. There is absolutely no reason why ONE meal for ONE person should cost $60. I was tempted to just make reservations at a local restaurant. Venues that serve meals get away with murder these days. The cost to rent the venue wasn't bad, but it's the food that gets you. And then you have people cancel or not show up which is infuriating after they RSVP'd and you paid for their meal. Prices are absolutely outrageous.
Louie Bjørkedal 1 year ago
Har vært med på å ha bryllup hvor gjestene hadde med seg mat til koldtbord, har og vært med på spleise bryllup men da er det allltid opplyst på forhånd
Teresa Druer 1 year ago
Really?... that is very tacky n trashy ... there are so many other ideas to try to cut costs on a wedding...like how about instead of a tacky trashy a*s bachelorette parties etc your brides maids n maid of honor and the bride get all the supplies and your behinds in the kitchen for a few days before the wedding and then at the reception pit out food buffet style.. or not have a meal...just have the cake and a okay sized dessert buffet or something or have a small wedding and the moms n grammas of bride n groom im sure would love to handle the food preperations or just a cocktail hour ....or wait till u can afford to have a wedding. .. i have nvr been married or even been to alpt of weddungs and i can even think of a zillion better things than what this brat did!!!...and tbh i have a wedding plan lol incase i ever need one and for a dream wedding id want and it be beautiful af wouldnt cost anymore than a few grand ......
Gnut VonTrullock 2 years ago
I've had two family weddings at my property. We live on 5 acres in the Colorado Rockies with lots of lodgepole pines, a large barn and a small canyon with a creek that runs through it. There are some really nice places to set up an outdoor venue and we can all party in the barn. I don't charge anything for it. Because we have a large kitchen with 5 ovens, and two five-burner gas cooktops and an outdoor "summer kitchen" with grills, a griddle, and three smokers, we can easily feed a lot of people. On both occasions my wife and I provided the meal as our gift to the couple. One of them was a high-end smoked barbecue brisket dinner with potato salad, cole slaw, homemade bread and cherry and apple pies with ice cream. The other one was a southern-style comfort food / soul food meal with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and all the fixin's. I don't know what each couple ended up spending on the whole affair, but I think most of it was covered by our gift.
Dorian 2 years ago
Yikes, if they're that hard-up and broke maybe they need to hold off until they can save more money to afford a wedding. Or perhaps they should stay in their own financial wedding lane. Champagne wishes, beer budget. This is rude and disgusting. Friggin greedy azz piggies. Not everyone can afford a Bentley. This broke beotch needs to stay in her lane. If can't afford it then postpone until u can. Unreal
Kristina Cowan 2 years ago
Is that actually a thing these days? That is really tacky, especially not telling in invitation that guest would be paying till after... Maybe something like BBQ or fajitas, that would be something nice at least.
M Whee 2 years ago
I'm always astonished at the idea weddings have to be expensive. My mom made my dress, my sister made my cake, another sister did the flowers and a friend took the photos. Bridesmaids all had sewing skills so we picked the fabric and sent them the yardage they needed for the pattern they liked. We bought BBQ pulled pork and side dishes from a local place and had a buffet, and used our church's hall as the venue for the reception. It turned out perfect for us, even if the budget was well under $1000.
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Sharon Kim 2 years ago
That last one is sooo culturally unaware. Many cultures around the world expect cash gifts with varying levels of explicitness. There's nothing ruder or tackier than someone with no cultural sensitivity.
Sharon Kim 2 years ago
That last one is just sooo culturally unaware. Many cultures around the world expect cash gifts with varying levels of explicitness.
Sandra Devall 2 years ago
Brides with no talent or experience as a director choose themself. Tell me tan makes since as much as a play drirected by the lead cast player.
John Smith 2 years ago
We were young and not rich when we got married. So we made it an afternoon wedding without a meal. We provided bowls of candy and self-serve root beer floats. We also wrote a cutesy poem in the invites asking for honeymoon money in lieu of gifts, but also stating that their presence was gift enough.
Bill Scheitzach Jr. 2 years ago
Once you start demanding money for attending a wedding, whether it's for food, drinks, gifts, or anything else, you are no longer holding a wedding and inviting guests, you're running a shakedown.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
My father was disappointed that me and my husband got married quickly with only 3 other people in attendance. But when I reminded him that he got out of the tradition of the Brides family paying for the wedding, he was pleased as punch. He celebrated by buying us furniture for our first place. I agree with other posters that you get married within your budget. And spending $25,000 on a wedding just seems excessive to me. Why?
Lisa Weaver 2 years ago
I went to the courthouse. I don't regret it one bit. It cost 30.00 and I made it through without one anxiety attack. Happy daze.
Norma Reid-Hunt 2 years ago
Do what you can afford, now it is ok to offer a dinner be at a restaurant that has a large room, everyone pay own bill but be clear about it on invite. As far as gifts what we recieved back 45 yrs ago would not even be acceptable shower gifts. Forget batchelorette parties who has time and money to waste?
Invino Veritas 2 years ago
Anyone (especially any man) foolish enough to marry a c^nt like that deserves what he gets.
LunaMendax 2 years ago (edited)
"Bride Doesn’t Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites". Doesn't = does not. She did put price in invites. She did. Is my English so bad? Or the Author had brain fart??
SF Angel 2 years ago
This is far beyond Tacky. It is self serving, self centered, and flat out incorrigible. Only have what you can afford. Go to city hall and have a big party in a year or for a special anniversary. And while I respect the commentary regarding "This is common in OUR country", if you're getting married here in the USA, it is NOT common practice here and you will likely have a venue void of everyone except for perhaps relatives.
Bunnie Hartley 2 years ago
I'm getting married soon. And my fiancee's family is throwing a b***h fit. His dad wants him to invite everyone. But place we're getting married can only hold 40 people, we have change the location to hold more. But the big price is the catering. They only let you choose certified catering which comes to 2k just for 30 people. But if I served their cheapest option which just hot dog chips and water bottle still would be like $900 . The catering prices are absolutely bogus so I could see them charging the bride $75 a person. I'm gonna guess she choose catering afterwords and didn't realize it adds up. I'm paying for the catering. Because I would gladly pay for my family friends. However if I was to invite my fiancee whole family I would absolutely charge a $10 fee for food and have in the invites. Because his extended family are s**t holes. His sister recently got married and they ruin her wedding. First of all she invited all the family and RSVP almost a yr ahead time they all said go
Bunnie Hartley 2 years ago
They all going. So she paid for 400 guests. Then her Mil , me and her other sister and my fiancee, all helped her mom cook and prepare the food. We bought preheat crock pots . During the ceremony only a few showed up . Except her siblings me and parents , nobody else from her family came. 5 minutes before the reception a couple of her family started show they bust in a white dress and pink hair, interrupting the end ceremony . Then the rest her family started show when reception started they all in gym shorts tank tops inside a church ( and according my fiancee they're all supposed Christian and do own church clothes). About 200 of her family showed up for the reception. Not a single person except me took a slice of $700 red velvet cake.on the table she had party favors she stayed all night making including her wedding photos. Nobody took one except me. She also made little card asking for date idea everyone else tossed out. Then they all b***h about how bad the food was that her mom
Load More Replies... John Webster 2 years ago
As a retired wedding photographer I have seen it all---asking guests to buy a page for their wedding album, raffling off the centerpieces on the dinning tables, contributing towards their honeymoon, etc.
Leah Stone 2 years ago
Girl Fried 7 months ago My niece was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and she happily said yes It’s enti because she is close to the couple. The next week, she and the rest of the wedding party got an email from the bride and groom with what they would be expected to spend. First and foremost was that each member of the bridal party was to pay $2,500 for "the privilege of being in the wedding" and it went on from there with the expected costs of dresses, tuxes, $1,000 each for the cost of the bachelor and bachelor parties, gifts of no less than $250 for the engagement party and $500 for the reception, etc. She called the bride and asked if it was a joke. When she was assured it wasn't, niece moped right the eff out of the bridal party. 231Reply - 7 months ago $2,500 admission? Wow. That's a corporate merger, not a marriage! And "privilege"??? Are they celebrities who shall remain unnamed or just legends in their own minds? More Replies... Burn 7 months ago No thanks,
Some guy 2 years ago
At my wife's niece's wedding, guests were invited to dance with the bride or groom and give them some cash to help offset the wedding costs. Sounded a little tacky, but at least it was voluntary. (When my wife danced with the groom, she tucked the money into his waistband like a stripper. It was a joke and was taken as such, but it seemed appropriate to me.)
Randy Gordon 2 years ago
Wow! What kind of person has the nerve to ask these things? If you can not afford the big wedding,don't do it!
YazB 2 years ago
I understand times have changed but are people still on this 'Entitled High'? What makes one think that charging someone to come to your wedding is okay/appropriate? If one feels the need to be this silly, then they're clearly living above their means and attempting show off to prove...that they really don't have it! There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a small intimate wedding reception and then if you've got the money, having a celebration within one's home or at a larger venue for far less - without charging your guests. The couples making these ridiculous demands don't realize the time, effort, and money put into attending a wedding all in support of two people you'll never get your money back from! Being invited is an honor but it shouldn't come with additional stipulations and costs!
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Lululoohoo 2 years ago
I need to know the outcome of this bridezilla's wedding. Somebody tell me!!!!
sherri l 2 years ago
That bride would be disappointed with my wedding. Got married outdoors in my brother's yard. Had a fish fry after. My mom, sil and I made all the sides and mt brother fried the fish. We didn't ask for gifts or anything. Just come and celebrate with us. My opinion it's tacky as all get out to demand anything of the guests. Don't go in to debt or do more for your wedding than you can afford and don't expect anyone else to pay for it for you.
Sandra McBee 2 years ago
So glad our church blessed us and members each brought a dish. I did the flowers, candles etc. Had a lovely wedding for under $200 that included a photographer who only charged us $50!
Kaye Nicole (Nikki) 2 years ago
It wouldn’t have been that big of an issue if she had said the price on the invitation in the first place.
Lisa Murray 2 years ago
Do people understand weddings any more? Its not anyones responsibility to pay for ANYTHING but the bride and groom. If the brides parents choose to pay than to each their own. Its a wedding! I got married for a 1000.00. Included dress food hall. I have been married now for 25 years. Its not about anything other than love and vows. Ifbridezilla wants to spend bucko dollars than she needs to pay for it! Most of them dont stayed married anyway.
Andy Hinds 2 years ago
I used to do wedding photography years ago. One client actually had me and my second photographer guests during the wedding dinner. I felt highly honoured as a lot of the clients had just had me eating my sandwich in the car outside, with maybe an invite to the evening buffet.
Kimberly Quinn 2 years ago
We went to a wedding that was an hour away in a place that was special to the bride and groom. Because of cost there was no luncheon served. There were light snacks and non-alcoholic drinks served. I thought this was a bit odd. However we were told ahead of time so we could make arrangements.
Laura Gane 2 years ago
Actually, in Romania, the gift is paying for the meal and a little bit over. I'm angry at this tacky custom of ours and I refuse to attend any wedding. It's really in poor taste.
Cindy Kemnitz 2 years ago
RSVP that you'll come to the wedding but decline on the reception. Then take the $150 & treat you & your husband to a high end meal somewhere fancy. After all the wedding is the important part, right? Lol
Linda Aspromonte 2 years ago
Very tacky, but girl Fridays example topped it all. Invite people to your wedding because you want to share your happy day except that you will be paying for the wedding and hope that your friends will be able to give you a gift if they can afford one. My daughter does not always have the funds to cover the cost of her dinner and a gift so in that case she will decline to be a guest and save the bride and groom the money on her dinner but send as generous a gift as she can
Irena Freidin 2 years ago
I think in the invite you can write monetary gifts only. Some people will give more, some will give less, it will balance out, and not seem rude. Unless the price of food was on top of the gift, then that's ridiculous.
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
When we got married, we had a small reception with close family and friends in a very nice restaurant's back room. Open bar - no charge. An hors d'oeuvres hour while we had some pics taken. And really good food, family style. Everyone had a great time, which was the whole point to the reception. I can't imagine asking anyone to pay for any reception. I guess things are different now.
Vera Hilman 2 years ago
Whrn I have a wedding back on 2010, I have a 20 million rupiahs budget on my wedding. That's including the reception, the vows, dress, make up, wedding gifts from my husband, wedding ring (only I wear a ring), and any cost for official papers. I held it in my house. Perhaps it's equivalent to 5000 bucks? It's my dream wedding and it had 125 guests. I told my guests to bring money as my wedding gift because I will donate all of it to an orphanage near my house. I raised about 15 million rupiah, a good number at that time. If you can't afford it, ditched the plan and have a new plan where you can afford. Never buy something that you can't afford. Wake up!!
Chantal Monette 2 years ago
I mean... I'll pay for the food, but that's in place of a gift. I don't think that's what this bride understands.
Looks like an Angel 2 years ago
I had a family member send out wedding invites advising that they would be hosting a "green back" wedding. This is when they are not accepting wedding gifts and you must only give cash (no gifts) for the wedding and thw money has to be given to the bride and groom before you are allowed into the reception hall for dinner. They were trying to get other people to fund their honeymoon. They newlyweds paid for dinner for 230 people, expecting everyone to show up with cash for them. I heard that only 73 people showed up to the dinner and they didn't make enough money for their honeymoon.
bill marsano 2 years ago
Is brown-bagging ok as an alternative. And note this fine distinction: there's a difference between GUESTS and CUSTOMERS.
Lorynda Benson 2 years ago
The only thing i expect my wedding guests to pay for is their plane tickets to come see me if they can. I actually want a small wedding so i can use the extra funds to help buy my friends plane tickets. That's more valuable than an extra agent wedding. I haven't seen some of my closest friends in years
Rachel Ortiz 2 years ago (edited)
So wait a f@$&ing minute! You’ve sent us all this beautiful, expensive invite. Oh yeah, and BTW, just a lil’ thing I purposely left out. Once you’ve RSVP’d. You will get a text from me, letting you know how much you owe me, for the privilege of coming to my wedding. YEY!!! Phat chance B***h! If you can’t afford to have the wedding that you want us to pay for. Try Justice of the Peace! Maybe they’ll cut’cha a break!!
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
I would have said to forget my meals, and then showed up with a box lunch.
Eulalie Grace 2 years ago
I would have un-chosen the dinners, and then showed up with a box lunch.
Janet Cox 2 years ago
If you get an invite to a wedding it includes a wedding breakfast surely? Be it sit down or buffet style, food should always be provided. Yes some cultures give money instead of gifts, but not for food. A wedding is to bring two families and friends together to witness the service and celebrate with a 'family meal'. A buffet style has become more popular as it is easier to organise for fussy eaters and relatively cheaper because there is no table service staff. Sometimes bridesmaids are asked to contribute towards their dresses to help the bride, but generally such dresses are provided by the bride. To demand payment for food is appalling, especially in the way this bride has done. I can understand giving something towards a restaurant meal, but not many weddings are held in restaurants unless they are registry weddings which are usually much smaller affairs. A wedding invitation includes food of some sort....end of.
Molly Spurgeon 2 years ago
I have considered how times have changed in regards to wedding registries: at one time, they made sense because they were asking for toasters and other basic household essentials to help the young couple out as they "first" "started a life." Nowadays, many marriages are between two people who have already lived outside of their parent's house and likely already own a lot of those items (and - in the circumstance that this is true for both people in the couple - then they're conceivably starting out with doubles of those things!) So, I totally understand that change and would, myself, also prefer for gifts of, like, gift cards to the grocery store - honestly. So I understand why the advent of funding a honeymoon and such have become popular practice. But regardless, the thing that happens in my culture that has always given me secondhand embarrassment is this thing called "the money dance," wherein guests can dance with the bride or groom on the condition of handing them cash?!?
Peter Abolins 2 years ago
Are you serious? This is the way weddings are done in Eastern Europe. You get invited, you bring your wallet. I find it strange that a supposed wedding planner has never heard of this practice before. Besides, I would rather that they ask for the money up front, instead of surprising me with expectations of payment on the day. I guess if it is traditional to pay for your meal, then you don't need to be told. This isn't how I grew up, but I can respect that cultures and traditions are different and either you fit in or you don't... no point complaining to people online.
Vladimíra Matejová 2 years ago
I have never heard of guests being directly told to cover the cost of their attendance. it is however considered polite to bring gifts/money at least in the value of what it cost the host to invite you, but you dont know the exact sum, you can only estimate. mostly close family brings more money than friends and of course if the couple knows you are poor/student they are okay with less money. mostly ppl expect money, not gifts these days as it is more practical. also the way the bride behaved was way out of line. totally rude
Argle Bargle 2 years ago (edited)
I used to shoot weddings with a partner, and it was stipulated in the contract we received a meal. No food, no pix. 16 hour days without eating aren't my thing. I simply cannot imagine charging guests for the meal. Such bad taste.
Fair Sparrow 2 years ago
Where I'm from its common to give money as a wedding gift. It mostly works as deferred loan, you invite your friends and family to your wedding, they're giving you a huge amount of money, so you can start your married life with some insurance, and when they or their children get married you're expected to give those money back over the years as wedding gifts to them. That's how it worked traditionally. Now, weddings usually really really big here, it's common to invite all your coworkers, your distinct relatives and even the coworkers of your sister that you never ever saw. Of course it's quite expensive, so nowadays this wedding loans goes for paying for the wedding itself. Of course, those dozens and dozens random people are not expected to bring you the real gift, they're expected to give you around 100-150$ from each one to cover their dinner price exactly. It's never discussed, it's just anunspoken rule. So, the fact that she asked about it at al not that surprising to me.
Viana Velos 2 years ago
I've seen a lot of persons doing similar things, instead of gifts "just deposit some money at this bank account so we can buy the stuff, my cousin even put a list of gift they would want, like I heard my grandpa an uncle talking about how my grandpa was going to buy the washing machine and my uncle the air fryer. AIR FRYER LIKE CMON
Helena Pehrsson 2 years ago
A friend of mine wanted to be married and the whole town wanted to go at her weding, 850 people, she seeing the problem said that she did not have money to celebrate a wedding with 850 guests but she said that if the whole town wanted to go to her wedding she would give up that they gave her gifts and that the gift for her would be that everyone would attend paying for their food, 848 people accepted and a place was rented and an adjusted catering price and the price per person was €18. The price of 75 dollars per person seems exaggerated to me since it comes in handy in an expensive restaurant for 40€ per person. It seems to me that the girl wanted to earn money by organizing her wedding. When I got married, my wedding cost €1,000 judge, papers, permits, hotel and food included
Sprinkles 2 years ago
When I was planning my wedding, I never even occurred to me to charge my GUESTS for their meal. The whole wedding industry is a gimmick, but we had a great wedding on a budget. Everyone had a blast at the reception. If you really want a wedding/reception to celebrate your union, don't ask people to foot the bill. So tacky.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
I'm astounded the bride thought it was so far out there for the couple to pay for meals - yes, of course they do, that's always been the way it's been! And if they can't afford it, they can do what a lot of my family did, and have a potluck where the aunts/uncles/etc. all brought something.
chris smith 2 years ago
I hope no one come to the wedding. This s**t is sad and this dead wrong.
Tomaž Kolarič 2 years ago
A wedding is an event. The bride and groom invite guests to witness the exchange of vows. It's a favor. They vow to be true to one another, understanding that there are pressures to break the union of man and wife. When one is asked a favor a reciprocal debt is incurred. You do something for me, I'll do something for you. If you get invited to bear witness for me as a favor, I'll supply the food and entertainment for the inconvenience of bearing witness. In most traditions guests bring gifts to hosts. Again, it' reciprocal, and good manners. Some traditions give away money or resources to the newlyweds, because it's understood, life is hard at the beginning as you are trying to establish yourself. So any small gift is appreciated in establishing a new household. This is a gift. Close family members give much, friends give as possible, and acquaintances just attend the wedding. Demanding money for a dream wedding is tacky and a sign of low class, not understanding social conventions.
Violet Smith 2 years ago
I once went to a pot-luck wedding, and it was awesome! People could bring food, or their gift to the couple could be a song/dance/skit they would perform (the bride was a fire-breathing belly-dancer and the couple had a lot of creative friends). Their main expenses were hiring a hall, a JP to marry them at the hall, and they had some really nice custom-made wedding outfits. They already owned a condo together and didn't really need toasters etc. It was a lovely wedding! There is always a way if you're creative...
Ty Daley 2 years ago
I think you should celebrate your marriage within your means. I bought a house instead of having a wedding. We got married at a small church and went to a nice restaurant with 10 of our closest people. I’m not rich and don’t know any rich people. I know the cost of weddings and didn’t want to enter my marriage in debt and stressed out. It was the best decision for us so people should do what works for them.
Sarah Baker 2 years ago
Luckily I've never had such a thing happen. One wedding the bride and groom only asked for donations towards a honeymoon and the link actually showed the values of the different aspects like plane tickets or hotel cost and stuff like that. I found it 100% acceptable as it made sense, especially since they were older and already had a lot of things you'd give at a first wedding type thing so had no need for more. If it's done like that, I have no problem, but when it's done like here, I have a big problem. What about the people who are coming in from out of state or country? That's a lot of money right there just to ATTEND the wedding.
Alan Constant 2 years ago
A friend of mine was the maid of honor in a friend's wedding. It was a small affair - only the bride, groom, maid of honor, best man and their spouses. The ceremony went well and they were all invited to dinner at one of the classier and rather expensive restaurants in town. ( at the time, they charged $6 for the same drink you buy at any bar for $1.50 ' which gives you an idea how expensive they were. They all had very nice meal and sat back talking for about an hour afterwards and the others all nursed down a couple of drinks. At the end of the evening, the bride called the waitress over and said "Separate cheques please!" I would have made sure that everyone within earshot heard what she did, flatly refused to pay and walked out. .
Just Breathe 2 years ago
Where Im from you have 2 choices when planning a wedding: A) People pay for their meal (price is included in the invitation), you dont get another gift. B) You pay for everything and you select before hand what you want as a gift. Here you have 2 other options: 1) Honeymoon travel plans. The agency you chose plans your expenses and charge your guests. For e.g A friend of mine traveled 2 months around Europe, I went to the agency he chose and paid the cost of renting a car for a few days (dont remember how many). 2) Stuff for the house. You choose a few places, give them a list of things you need and send the names of the stores to your guests. e.g When my Sister got married I put money towards a new fridge.
Elizabeth Guss 2 years ago
Charging an invited guest for ANY part of your cost of hosting is incredibly CHEAP and RUDE. If you cannot afford the cost, then adjust the scale of the event to match what you can afford. You are asking people to share in your special day. Demanding that they pay for it makes them wonder if they're a valued friend or merely a deep pocket. TACKY!
paco diablo 2 years ago
Hilarious. Depending on who the cater is, you might get a good meal (though I kind of doubt it) Is it a $150 dinner? With drinks? If not just decline or attend and forget about a gift. Somehow it just doesn’t seem worth it. Send them a card instead with a $25 gift card to taco bell
Nicholas Yu 2 years ago
In my culture, if you invite someone out to dinner, YOU pick up the tab. I just finished nursing school and one of my preceptors used to humblebrag about her cleaning lady, getting her hair done every week...etc. She then invited all of her students out to brunch on the last day. When the check came, her tacky a*s requested separate checks.
DumYum 2 years ago
When I got married, we let everyone know it was potluck and taking place at the house we rented. We knew nothing about weddings. My dress was from Salvation Army. We rented a tent, chairs, and cutlery. We paid for booze, wholesale flowers, which I paid a friend to arrange. Brother was a bartender so he set up the bar table. Best man brought a mix tape for music. A couple photographer friends took some photos here and there. Because I worked in the restaurant business, I paid wholesale for steak, salmon and chocolate torte cakes, which I stacked. Some friends pitched in to help set up and clean up without me asking for help. We had a great time!! We expected nothing but to celebrate with friends. The next morning opening gifts and cards was fun and we didn’t realize people would give us money. It paid for the wedding and for our modest honeymoon. We were thrilled and grateful.
AlanandLeila Hoyt 2 years ago
If you can’t afford to feed everyone but want a lot to attend, make it a potluck, but obviously tell people ahead of time.
MrJoeh1234 2 years ago
Weddings are not my thing, but I thought tradition was that the father of the bride was fiscally responsible for the wedding unless the bride was older or a second marriage. Did that change or was it never true?
Marty Sunderland 2 years ago
Don't need an excuse to cancel on that invite. What the heck is wrong with some people?
Random Anon 2 years ago (edited)
Lol... this an Asian wedding? Even an Asian wedding do not DEMAND a fixed amount of cash. Yes when you attend an Asian wedding, especially east Asian ones, you are expected to bring a gift of cash. It doesn't matter how much. You gift what you can afford. And the amount is never revealed to anyone, kept only between you and the hosts. Going empty handed is seen as bad manners. On the flip side, shaming the gift is seen as horrible etiquette.
Ashley Nicole 2 years ago
My friend did this and it wasn't an issue. Too many people expect free food and drinks and that's not feasible for most people nowadays. If you want to support friends and family pay for your own meal then.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Wow - what an attitude. No thank you toxic now ex-friend. I would probably have given that anyway as a wedding gift.
Anjali Jeter 2 years ago
This kind of c**p is tacky AF and is a hard no for me. I have no issue with being asked for money or help with something I can help with in lieu of a gift, but I would not pay just to attend a wedding. One of my relatives demanded money from people for their wedding. I was especially galled as this person had received a sizeable sum of money from a will but was asking people like myself, a welfare claimant, for money. I did not attend that wedding.
Cindy Temps 2 years ago
Expecting guests to pay for their dinner or other things at a wedding is absolutely wrong, tacky, and rude. If the couple can't pay for the food, then don't have food. Just serve wedding cake. Or elope for free. It is your job to stay within your budget for the wedding and not expect your guests to pay. Each guest should have changed their RSVP to NO we will NOT be attending.
Shelly Graham 2 years ago
My 1st wedding was so stressful I broke out in hives everywhere! Bridesmaid called while I was out, asking what time was the rehearsal, Ex told her he didn't know, (he did) but he'd have me call her back. HE FORGOT! I called to find out what had happened. She said she'd been waiting for my call! Glaring at my Ex he responded belligerently with "Whatever, get over it!" I burst into tears. FIL stated he wasn't wearing a tux. I said , "I'm so sorry you'll be in unable to attend the ceremony." He begrudgingly wore a tux. During both the rehearsal dinner & rehearsal my FIL repeatedly made loud rude & hurtful comments about my weight (I used to weigh 400lbs.) Before the ceremony a groomsmen informed me he didn't have shoes to go w/the tux! He'd wear his disgusting, holey sneakers. I lost it, seeing my response, he quickly revealed he was joking. In several photos my face was red & I looked angry, sad & tired. I was strung so tight it wouldn't have taken much for me to snap!
Kristen Adorno 2 years ago
This is insane! When my husband and I got married, we only had what we could afford! We got married at a BEAUTIFUL historic mansion owned and maintained by the county for $2200 ($1700 after our deposit was refunded after the big day) and we paid $400 for a professional wedding dj, rented tables and chairs and linens, had an open bar, and a buffet for all the guests. The food was phenomenal and we spent less than $6000 on everything and never asked our wedding party or guests to pay for anything. Our wedding turned out gorgeous and everyone had a blast! The guests even stayed after the wedding and reception was over to help clean up (nobody asked them to) because they had so much fun and felt like helping out to return the favor for an enjoyable wedding. We didn't ask for gifts so we didn't receive much but my dad did give us a chunk of money and my mother in law did too. My mother in law is the absolute best so she helped me plan the entire thing in less than 3 months.
Okatango 2 years ago (edited)
Fortunately, I often travel for work, so it is easier to refuse invitations. I invite the couple over later for a small dinner party, or hike with gourmet picnic, to a restaurant or similar. It's not so much the expense as it is the time and the waste of what is often a gorgeous weekend. Instead of being outdoors, it's 1.5 hrs of getting dressed up, another hour or more driving, then the 2 hours hanging about while pictures are taken, lining up to congratulate them then stuck in a venue without natural light or garden. Actual interaction with couple during all this is a few minutes. Why can't it just be a nice lunch outdoors? Or just an evening event? Worst are the ones where you have to go to a pre-dinner, then breakfast. It should about a nice celebration, not entitlement to be so self-centered.
Bonnie Edwards 2 years ago
The church that I was married at, has a tradition of bring-a-plate meals for every wedding - so that is what we did. All invites sent to people less than 1hr drive away mentioned it. Anyone coming from further, or interstate, were not asked. Of course, we supplied extra food on top, plus drinks and deserts. Frankly, the majority of people who turned down our invitation, did so because there would be no alcohol.
Lu Harris 2 years ago
That's quite an unkind assumption to make. Maybe they're just not keen on celebrating those who sit in judgment of others.
Load More Replies... LangiStudios 2 years ago
As if I need more reasons to be Team Elope. I'd rather spend money on pre-marital counselling tbh.
O.M.Miki 2 years ago
This really isn't uncommon. In japan if you accept an invite to the wedding you usually girt the couple 30,000yen ( 300 dollars) instead of bringing some crap gift. But unless your family the amount never really exceeds that.
Terry Butler 2 years ago
I guess the underlying rule is, "When in Rome..."
Load More Replies... Kat Kirkpatrick 2 years ago
What a {{female dog}} the bride turned out to be! I was always taught that the host pays for the meal(s) for the guests, not the other way around. And if the bride and/or her family cannot afford to pay for meals for all the guests they want in attendance, it's time to put on their big-girl panties, admit they are over-doing things, and cut down the guest list (before invitation go out, naturally) until they arrive at a number that they can afford. People overall need to start spending more time, energy and money on the actual marriage, instead of going into debt for a huge party that few people will remember anything about twenty years after the fact. (Assuming the marriage even lasts that long with the sheer greed and craziness some bridezillas exhibit.)
Jimmy Lewis 2 years ago
This generation seems to think they are privileged. Her wedding is going to suck, as it should.
Marnie 2 years ago
Even if you did pay, $20 a plate is plenty enough. Who are they having serving the meals that they can charge $75 a plate? That had better be damned good food and enough for 3 doggie bags to take home. I'd be inclined to say I'm coming, but I don't want dinner. (I'll bring Taco Bell.)
Speedlimit78 2 years ago
The entitlement- same bride probably justified it by thinking "mommy and daddy has always paid for everything- so others should pay for my wedding as well"
Sarah Westgaard 2 years ago
Pack people in at the church, do a simple cake and punch reception and a intimate dinner for the families later that evening. That is the best way to cut cost. Asking the guests to pay for their dinner shows a lack of social training. Any wedding coordinator would have never allowed such an invitation/phone call to be made. Any bride needs to know it may be her day and she gets to plan the party she wants and share this day with those closest to her and her family. This party comes at a cost. This kind of party requires planning if on a budget. Wedding are all about family and the merging of 2 families into one. The moment engagement is announced, wedding planning and extra savings or jobs to pay for wedding should start. Every couple should take Dave Ramsey financial peace university while the are engaged to start there marriage off on the right financial footings.
Smacey Elmaira 2 years ago
In my culture, we offer any amount we can for the food during weddings. Because let's be real. Weddings are expensive af. For my culture, we give what ever amount we want. I've attended a Chinese one, everyone was gave $88 and above. But at the time I wasn't financially stable so I offer $50. This mindset is only western where I assume everything is covered by bride and groom.
Alfred Arreguin 2 years ago
We all kind of deserve this type behavior because we give our counter parts open ended guidelines. Now we're surprised when they act this way towards others outside the family. What did you expect building up a spoiled brat.
Monica Nixon 2 years ago
People who wish to share their marital commitment publicly by being surrounded by those they love and support their union shouldn't be slapped with bills. The exchanging of vows is personal & intimate and should not be treated as if its a Broadway show where everyone has to pay for their seat. At least at a show you are their to enjoy the fruits of your labor with a taste of leisure. At a wedding your honor the couple by your choice and not by how they say ~period.
Julia Spencer 2 years ago
This is in extremely poor taste and simply not done. One must never charge a guest to attend a party. Engaged couples must have a wedding within their means, and if that limits them to a courthouse ceremony with two friends as witnesses, so be it. If the marriage lasts, they can have a more lavish anniversary celebration when finances permit. I grew up reading Miss Manners’ witty syndicated column and received one of her books as a HS graduation present. Folks who grow up with no etiquette guidance would do well to check out a book or two before they embarrass themselves.
Claudette Perkins 2 years ago
C. PERHAPS There was a time when you were asked to be a Bridesmaid, she paid for everything. You showed up for fitting and for Support. Now they want you to spend $2500 FOR a dress you can only wear one time, and is sometimes very ugly. The Bride chose the color and Style. You may hate it. It's not a joy anymore. Now its an obligation. Some girls hate it. It's not Fun anymore.
Timothy Parkhurst 2 years ago
Marriage is highly overrated anyhow. Most marriages nowadays last maybe 3-5 years. So can we all get our money back when you wind up in Divorce Court next year? Tacky as all hell!
Timothy Parkhurst 2 years ago
Marriage is highly overrated anyhow. Most marriages last maybe 2-5 years anymore. Can we get our money back if and when you wind up in Divorce Court next year? Tacky as hell!
Matthew F 2 years ago
Asking people for compensation for any sort of event you are hosting, wedding or otherwise is extremely tacky and down right trashy. It's your event, plan it to fit into your budget. People with class show up with an appropriately priced gift based on the type of event, whether it's a bottle of wine for a small dinner, a dish of some kind for a BBQ, or cash covering at least your plate for a wedding. People with class also NEVER ask you to...
Holly Jarvis 2 years ago
$75 a person for a wedding? That's a pretty good deal. In Asia, or at least in Southeast Asia, it's pretty common, and almost expected in most cases, for the guests to gift the wedded couple money. This is in part to help cover costs, and as a financial blessing of sorts. The closer you are, the more money you give. There's a whole etiquette thing where wedding guests would do prior research on how much a table costs at the venue, and calculate the minimum necessary to not look like the a*****e who's trying to stiff a free meal from your friends and family. Nobody likes THAT person. Especially when you and your partner are trying to save up to start a life together. And honestly, the money is a lot more useful than 4 toasters.
Gabriel Sandu 2 years ago
Her attitude was bad from the start, especially not informing guests she wants a non typical wedding party, then went on a rage with what should've supposedly been their friend. The norm is different for Europe, where it's considered rude to ask for or talk about money at the wedding, so guests have a guessing game of how much to gift the newlyweds. Parties are typically big and for 100 people it's around 30k $ to get location, food, music and photographer so they can either afford to pay it before and then recover some from guests cash gifts that typically are around 300$ for 2 people, or just skip the party, settling for civil signing only and religious ceremony, where fee is affordable.
N Taylor 2 years ago
When my wife and I had our wedding, we only invited people that we knew would come. To many times, you hear people say they invited 500 to 800 people to wedding. Who cares about the number people you invite. My wife and I invited 235 people and firm rsvp's from all of them and 10 of them didn't show. We had left overs for next couple of days. I got married 8 years ago and the way everything was figured up cost wise. It was $35 a person, you add up the cateror and cake. Then if you supply a open bar. So if any future couples are planning their guest list. Remember is it worth inviting somebody you met a few times.
Andy V 2 years ago
Here in Argentina the engagement party is at the bride's house and it's free. Then the wedding day you have three options according to your budget: 1) all free. You have enough money to invite guests. 2) you send the invitations with the amount for dinner, and people send the money in advance. Or you can choose to go after dinner for the toast for free. 3) you announce in the invitation card that this dinner is "collective" ("a la canasta") so people go to the wedding carrying their own food. Yes, this is 3rd world partying 😆 specially if the bride is already pregnant!!! Ohh, and gifts? We've never heard of "wedding lists in shops" until recent years. Here if you have a wedding you know for sure you'll end up giving away half your gifts because people end up repeating gifts without knowing. Like you'll get four sets of tea, several blenders or so... 🙆🙈
Cheri Brann 2 years ago
Why not skip the meal? Most invites say something humble making it a privilege of the couple if you would be there? Making my presence an important to their day? Meeting demands just won'nt work for me.
James Avis 2 years ago
What more invitations should say: "Gifts are welcome, but not necessary; what we really want is the pleasure of your company as we celebrate our wedding!"
LucyGoosey 2 years ago
I would rescind my RSVP too, ain't no way I'd attend any wedding like that, no matter who it is. Y'all on your own, I'm struggling myself as it is ✌
Randall Mullin 2 years ago
I went to a wedding as a groomsman where I had to rent the certain tux that the bride wanted and we went for a restaurant dinner afterwards where everyone had to pay for their own meal and had no idea until we arrived at the restaurant. All in all with accommodations for the night their wedding cost me and my family over $1000.
Candace Lady C Johnson 2 years ago
Now I do feel like it was in poor taste to ask guest after the RSVPs and not being upfront with the paying of the meal. I have heard of couples having dinners at restaurants and guests paying for their own food. There were no issues.
Dark Fafnir 2 years ago (edited)
Plain and simple the bride was way off base and def a weird and bad way to tell "guests" you invite to a party that last a while, that they have to pay for dinner...not a wedding I'd be going to.....
A Lexis 2 years ago
Ain’t no way I would ever have attended something like this it’s your wedding and you want my attendance so I would never pay to be in your presence that bad so with that being said so I would have definitely declined and then her audacity to get angry at ppl cause the don’t want to pay is utterly rude I wonder how her wedding turned out?🤷🏾♀️
Shirley Herberger 2 years ago
Never ask guests to pay for their dinner. OMG If you can't afford a wedding ELOPE. Unbelievable immaturity.
Nikki 2 years ago
I think that is ridiculous. Yes you should be able to do what you want in your wedding. It’s your big day. However it’s not anyone else big day. You expect people to pay for dinner then pay for whatever else which has been customary for centuries that the bridal party pay for. No thanks sounds like cheap and crappy wedding anyways. The talk of the night will be about what you expected out of your guest, and not about well wishes towards your new life together. If you’re to cheap to marry elope or don’t get married until you have money
Marianna Madison 2 years ago (edited)
I agree she should tell people up front if she cannot cover the food, or if she wants help covering it. Her angry reaction shows how she will handle embarrassing or difficult financial situations, which we all do experience as life goes by. Her husband to be should sit up and take notice. Because IF her snap response, right out of the box, is anger then he is in for a very rough ride.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
While I do not think this should be done at all, for reasons many here have already stated...if you were going to do it, I would strongly urge 2 changes, 1) Inform people up front so everything is known when invitees are making their decision, 2) Ask with humility instead of demanding with contempt. Humility goes a long way when dealing with people in all areas of life. If the bride had stated something like, "We really want to have all our friends at our wedding and serve a spectacular meal people will not forget. This is really out of our budget so we are asking $75 from each person to help us cover the costs of the wedding. Your understanding, generosity and presence at our most special day are so appreciated. Thank you." It still would be 'tacky' but that would have reduced the friction 90%.
Terry Butler 2 years ago
Humility! That's the ticket! 👍 Still, I would never have a wedding my family could not afford. That's common sense.
Load More Replies... Sarah Lawrence 2 years ago
Where I came from in a not overly affluent area, for the wedding reception, it was simply asked if you could bring a covered dish. Certainly nobody asked to pay for their food as guest. if they couldn't afford it, they couldn't afford it! No one minds bringing a casserole!! It may not be the most hip or chic, but it was always fun. Of course, that was back when young people weren't so 'entitled'.
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
That is a great idea...I'd love to be a fly on the wall when someone ran this idea past the bride :)
Load More Replies... Doris Jones 2 years ago
Considerate IT has a (her) wedding gift...! PERIOD. MAYBE, SHE AS A NICE TOKEN of APPRECIATION, for BEING A WITNESS, IN HOPEFULLY, HER (THEIR) LIFE-TIME COMMITMENT. WE "DO" LOOSE SIGHT, OFTEN for THE REASON, for THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE.
NMK 2 years ago
Millennials. Live at home til they are 30, make no money and blame the world for their problems.
ljbeanfield 2 years ago
You seem pleasant..... Tell that to my boomer aged estranged aunt. Shes managed to do worse than this.
Load More Replies... Bray Elliott 2 years ago
In many other cultures the "guests" usually are the ones throwing the party for the newlyweds. The whole village gets together to celebrate a joyous occasion giving and helping where they can without complaining.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
I think you are confused about the definition of the word "guest". In MOST cultures, the bride and groom HOST the reception.
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Katerina Huskova 2 years ago (edited)
I'm not that old (36 😅) but I remember times when a wedding was a celebration of love, a great time spend with family and friends and having fun more than a background for instaphotos and superexpensive outfits 🤷🏻♀️ I refused to go to a wedding once because there was a "no kids rule" bacause I had two little kids (even they were kinda last couple among most of their friends to get married and like most of their friends were having litlle kids) and other mothers didn't attend as well...so you can imagine the wedding party 😅
Karen Koller 2 years ago
I guess they have no Italian friends or family. In the Italian culture it is understood that you pay for your dinner plate so this is not written either.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Not true. I'm Italian, and the bride's family pays for the wedding and reception, and the reception is meant to be a THANK YOU to the guests for setting aside their whole day to celebrate with the married couple. The key word here is GUEST. It is NEVER EVER appropriate to ask a GUEST to pay for anything.
Load More Replies... Nicole Deere 2 years ago
This article is ridiculous in interviewing a "luxury" wedding planner. Of course she has never heard of someone requesting guests to pay for their dinner🙄 Is it tacky? Yes, but my god interview a wedding planner that would be hired by a family that didn't have a trust fund or didn't have anyone with a C-level title in the immediate family.
Marianna Madison 2 years ago (edited)
Some girls apparently have the wrong idea about what a wedding is for. It isn't some transaction in which a girl is declared queen and haughtily lays out her demands. With this trend of narcissism entitlement and peasant-cancelling pretense, no self respecting dude would even want a wedding without a psychiatric evaluation of the bride to be first. Our children must not be getting past 5-6 years old these days. Some MAJOR character development is noticeably missing in our more recent generations coming up now,, and this is on a larger scale than we can afford to allow in our society. Something needs to change since so many of our young are turning into THAT.
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Justme 2 years ago
The closest I’ve seen to this was done tastefully by a young couple with a very small budget. They had a small wedding (~10 people) at a park and then reserved the banquet room at an Olive Garden. The invites clearly stated that they were providing cake and non-alcoholic beverages, but that guests were asked to pay for their own meals and alcohol. It was very well done, a beautiful small wedding on a budget.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
NOPE. Still tacky as hell to invite people to buy their own meals. That is not a wedding on a budget- that is a shady way to make other people pay for being YOUR guest.
Load More Replies... Susan Montano 2 years ago
Well, it seems to be the way to go these days. I have been invited to kid’s birthday parties and I had to pay for our meal’s because ut was kept in a restaurant. People wants a party and gifts with no expense.
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
No, it is not the way to go these days. Only tacky people do this.
Load More Replies... Cynthia Arthur 2 years ago
It doesn't surprise me that this woman would act that way. I have never liked her, I can see why the royal family does not want anything to do with her. Frankly, I wish those two had not come to the United States. I'd like to see them leave. As far as I'm concerned, they are not wanted.
Brittany Ridsdale 2 years ago
You're right f*****g stuck up cunty b***h and I hope nobody comes to that horrible awful f*****g wedding hope you don't even get God's blessing you f*****g money hungry whore
Stephen Troup 2 years ago
Normal to not inform the cost of something until AFTER someone responds? And being ugly & rude to them? That is really the problem, not the cost (tho that is tacky too)
Load More Replies... Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
The point of the wedding reception is to THANK THE GUESTS for attending, and to celebrate with them. Your guests should not have to foot the bill. If you can't afford to have a big wedding, have a small wedding.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
The people who think this is ok all seem to struggle to string a coherent sentence together. The wedding reception is a party that the HOSTS (bride and groom) throw for the GUESTS (the wedding attendees) to THANK THEM for attending the wedding. The guests are not ordering a meal at a restaurant. Most of the guests have traveled long distances, spent a significant amount of money on appropriate outfits and the wedding gift, and have set aside their ENTIRE DAY to celebrate with you. Asking them for money on top of all that is outrageous. And if you want to reduce it to the concept of paying for a meal, let's be realistic- even with the best of caterers, most wedding meals are fairly bland (on purpose, so older guests don't get sick), often over-cooked (because it's difficult to produce that many meals at once on site), and limited in variety. You wouldn't pay $250 at a restaurant if your only option was to check a box for beef, chicken, or fish.
Load More Replies... Stephen Troup 2 years ago
A big part of the problem was not informing people before they responded. Also, her attitude was ugly & rude.
Load More Replies... Linda Stranich 2 years ago
Not telling the people until after the RSVP yes is the problem.
Load More Replies... Lisa Schmid-Zweigler 2 years ago
Wow, you really spend that much a week on “fine dining?” 🙄 That’s sarcasm in case you didn’t get it. You must be rich af as well as an a*****e for telling people to work harder so they’re not poor. Obviously you are a troll or just a royal a*****e who likes to brag!
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