Weddings rarely go as planned and often require making real-time adjustments. Reddit user OtoAforLife‘s friend’s ceremony was no exception. However, in this case, the changing circumstances were handled very, very poorly.

Everything started when the photographer fell ill and couldn’t make it to the ceremony. While there were various ways in which the couple could’ve handled it (like buying disposable cameras and distributing them among the guests), they decided to place the entire burden on OtoAforLife.

So she was demoted from a bridesmaid to an unpaid worker. But after realizing what had happened, the woman simply ditched. Feeling conflicted about the whole thing, she turned to the famous ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ subreddit to tell people what happened and get their unbiased opinion. Here’s what she wrote.

When her wedding photographer fell ill and had to drop out, this woman decided to demote one of her bridesmaids to an unpaid worker

Image credits: Mariah Krafft (not the actual photo)

And didn’t care that the woman was clearly uncomfortable with this

Image credits: Andre Hunter (not the actual photo)

Image credits: OtoAforLife

OtoAforLife was virtually uninvited from the wedding. A move that experts think people should get around.

According to Bride & Groom Direct, a leading online retailer of wedding accessories that also does everything invitation-related, most couples that revoke invitations do so because of a logistics problem after overestimating the number of guests they are able to cater to. But, of course, there are other reasons, too.

“Disinviting someone from your wedding, after you’ve already asked them to attend, is a huge breach of wedding etiquette,” Bride & Groom Direct explained on its blog. “It’s seen as an extremely rude thing to do and can cause a lot of… hurt feelings.”

“Unfortunately, though, you may feel you have no choice. You may have had an argument or a falling-out with one of your guests… If at all possible, you should avoid it.”

Not to mention the added pressure that came with the woman’s new forced-upon duties. John Branch IV, who has been in the industry for 8 years, said this type of work is extremely stressful even for people who know how to take a good picture. “At the end of the day, even when you have a plan in place, things run late, people get mad; there are all kinds of things you have to deal with,” the photographer highlighted.

He said it’s a high-paced work environment when who knows what can happen at any time. So I think it’s safe to say that by bailing out, OtoAforLife did the right thing.

After her story went viral, the former bridesmaid released an update

Image credits: OtoAforLife

And was glad to see that people supported her

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