“Nothing To Apologize For”: Woman Ruins Friend’s Childfree Wedding By Bringing Her Toddler
When planning a wedding, the bride and groom should always have the final say on who gets to be included in the guest list. If they have a distant relative who is infamous for enjoying alcohol a bit too much at family gatherings, their invitation might get “lost in the mail.” And if the happy couple doesn’t want any children at their celebration, then parents need to plan ahead and hire babysitters!
But one woman refused to accept that her friend’s wedding was a child-free occasion, so she decided to show up with her son anyway. Below, you’ll find the full story that the bride recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
The bride and groom get to decide exactly who is included on their wedding guest list
Image credits: Leon Seibert/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So when a friend showed up at this child-free wedding with her son, the bride made the difficult choice of kicking them out
Later, the bride shared an update, including a message she received from her friend
Image credits: Christian Bowen/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: JessieLynnReddit
Many couples are opting for child-free weddings nowadays
Image credits: Micheile Henderson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Weddings are meant to be joyous celebrations for all involved. And while many couples choose to include a flower girl who’s about 5 years old in the ceremony or a ring bearer who just learned how to read, not everyone wants little ones running around at their reception.
That’s why some brides and grooms have opted to throw child-free bashes. But parents don’t always take the news well when they hear that their kiddos aren’t included in their plus-one.
When it comes to the pros and cons of having a child-free wedding, Bride and Groom Direct notes that you can be sure that there won’t be any interruptions during the ceremony. No crying babies and no toddlers that need to have their diapers changed immediately.
Guests might also be able to fully relax when they know that they don’t need to watch their mouths around kids, keep an eye on their children the whole night, worry about stepping on a kid’s toes on the dance floor or wonder if they’re too drunk to be in the presence of children.
Having kids around can pose a safety issue, if they don’t have eyes on them at all times. And nobody wants to be a babysitter while trying to enjoy a wedding.
Plus, when couples don’t have to include food, drinks and seating for children, they might be able to invite even more of their own friends! Or, if they’re interested in cutting costs, they can simply save money by making sure that it’s an adult-only event. No need for kid-friendly meal options, kiddy cups or silverware or entertainment for little ones.
When a couple spends thousands on one day, they deserve to have the exact wedding of their dreams
Image credits: Marc A. Sporys/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, there are some downsides to planning a child-free wedding as well. Some guests may be offended, and others might decline an invitation simply because they can’t bring their little ones along. If the wedding requires guests to travel, it might be too much of a hassle to get a babysitter who can keep the kiddos overnight or for several nights in a row.
Some parents might even consider the bride and groom selfish for not allowing children to enjoy their celebration. One bride who had a child-free wedding told Glamour that guests were extremely upset about her choice to exclude kids.
“You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who are acting like I requested they throw their kids off a bridge or put them up for adoption,” she shared. Apparently, some of her guests even insisted that they would still bring along their little ones if they couldn’t find child care.
But part of the reason why people might be so split on whether or not kids should be invited to weddings is because not everyone views weddings in the same way. Glamour explains that, for some, a wedding is “a celebration of family, community, and continuity.” Meanwhile, for many young couples, their wedding is the most expensive one-night-only rave they’ll ever attend.
And if you’re paying tens of thousands of dollars for the occasion, shouldn’t you get to decide who exactly gets to attend? We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride did anything wrong by bringing her baby to her wedding? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar wedding drama, look no further than right here!
The majority of readers were supportive of the bride, and she joined in on the conversation to provide more details
Many continued to chime in, assuring the bride that she didn’t do anything wrong
However, some thought that the bride was being hypocritical
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Are all of these people forever stuck in toddlerhood? Like, yelling and claiming something "isn't fair"? So not only is she the bride and the one who makes the rules, it is in no way the same wanting your baby in a few pictures to having a 4 year old run around the entire party.
Some peaked during collage, some peaked as a toddler..
Load More Replies...Brought her kid, doubled down, then gaslit with personal attacks? That's not a friend. Get rid.
Hard to believe she was ever a Friend!!! No kids mean no kids!
Load More Replies..."I wanted my son to be there for you on your special day" - and to what end? Thanks, kid, we would have missed you running up and down the aisle like a bridesmaid on amphetamines and serenading us with 12 verses of "Baby Shark", then parkouring at the reception, rolling around screaming like a fallen banshee because the food sucks, pouncing on the wedding cake like a cheetah taking down an antelope, and generally just "being a child". Really, that gives a bad name to 4-year-olds. And their DGAF mothers. At least the father had the decency to be embarrassed, but probably had to deal with his wife's wrath.
That comment really stuck out for me too! Ridiculous attempt to make it sound reasonable.
Load More Replies...Yet again, the YTAs are completely unhinged. Wow, the bride wanted her baby in her wedding photos! Who could have imagined?
Right? "You ruined your own wedding with your attitude, you could just get over it!" People who 'just get over' other people intentionally stomping on their boundaries are also known as 'doormats.' "Just get over it" does not prevent this clearly uncontrolled preschooler from leaving a trail of destruction through their wedding.
Load More Replies...First, as others have said - you're wedding, your rules. But also OP was only having her child stay for the ceremony (which makes TOTAL sense because she is, after all, OPs daughter!), and then a short time at the reception for pictures before going to stay with a babysitter - so for all intents and purposes the wedding was child-free, no?
Who in the heck wants to bring a kid to a wedding? "I brought him for you on your special day!" 4 years olds don't even understand what's going on. They aren't compatible with an adult style wedding and bringing the couples child along so they are part of the photographs is different. The invitation says no kids. You don't bring kids or you don't go period. Apparently the friend has about the same maturity as her 4 year old so she should have disincluded herself as a child.
I just love reading the YTAs on these posts. Just when you tin people couldn't be any more unhinged...
Lol. I commented before reading the comments. I also found them to be unhinged.
Load More Replies...Get rid of her and NTA of course - it US your wedding, you decide who attends. Of course you want xour own chikd to be part of it - thst does not mean you have to tolerate other children Ranking around and wreaking havoc. You made it clean from the start they could not bting their children. And WTF is wrong with the YTAs??
That twat is insane and needs to be cut completely off - problem solved.
Why would you want to bring a 4 yo to a wedding? Especially one with no provisions for kids. It's boring. It's all grown ups talking. The food is not what kids like. There's no one to play with. Why would you do this to your kid unless you just wanted to ruin someone else's day and you don't mind using your own child to do it?
"you knew the chronically online teens of Reddit would obviously back you up" I'm 53 and I'm backing the bride up. These kinds of entitled mothers who think the world revolves around their messiah of a child and they should be included in everything all the time and can act like a rabid badger because 'kids will be kids'. Too bad there isn't a time machine to go back and make her use birth control. That's just my not-a-teen opinion.
(Snort), sure, bringing your infant to your own wedding for the photographs and then sending them home is exactly the same as a guest bringing their fully mobile 4 year old to someone else's "no children under 14" wedding. Oh, and you're spoiling your infant too.
Ditch the so-called 'friend.' NO ONE brings a 4 yr old to a wedding for the couple's sake. She's full of sht and trying to gaslight OP and the internet for being an irresponsible adult.
I agree - but could be difficult. She's the wife of the OP's husband's best friend. Awkward!
Load More Replies...Jessica is trash, ignorant trash! Its hilarious that's she calls reddit users chronically online teens, yet HER husband saw the the post. And no, no one is scared of her. But bless her heart. Jessica is a worthless human,....We know the YTAs are from trashy Jessica and her trashy friends....
Um, are you sure she's your friend? I'd have to end that. It was your wedding and you had your baby there for pictures. And for all the people saying YTA, they're most likely one that think it's all about them.
Not sure how many times this needs to be said but having guests present isn't essential to a wedding. I'm willing to go further and say the married couple dictates who can show up without any consistent of rules or explanation. They could pretty much invite all 50 of their cats to the ceremony while not allowing your cat to come. Is it fair? no....is it insane? yeah.
Jessica is an AH and rude loser, sad to know she reproduce another human being. I hope Darren will be the main caretaker for the son so he can grow up like a decent human. OP, needs to grow a spine. Send Jessica my way, I'm one to love confrontation and I'll destroy that women stupidity and selfishness.
I let my cousin's toddler twins come to my wedding, one of the bridesmaids ended up with a child's handprint on her light blue skirt... but we got off lucky! A year or so later, at their uncle's society wedding in the park, the twins decided to strip down and jump in the fountain!
Once again, I wonder if the YTAs actually read the entire thread. She had her baby there for photos and then sent the baby home. Toddlers are exhausting but that "I thought I was your best friend" woman is even more so. Her text to OP was so full of "I" statements it was definitely entitled behavior. "I thought we were friends!" "I thought you'd appreciate my 4yo being there" "I wanted him there FOR you..." she sounds like the AH.
I don't understand that when people get called out for something they double down and get belligerent. Instead of saying I am sorry, I will X Y Z to fix it. Also, just because you are louder doesn't mean you are right
I’ve said the before but many weddings have a person who finds it absolutely unbearable that the bride is the centre of attention at their wedding. They find an excuse to kick off drama and pull the attention to themselves, while dimming the shine of the day. Jessica is the person in OP’s life. If it wasn’t the child not being invited to the wedding, it would have been something else. I’m sure she’s just fine when it’s all about her but when it is about OP, look out.
I'm sorry, but I will never attend a child-free wedding, even if I am in the wedding party myself. For me, weddings are about family. I remember the last wedding I attended, where the little boy (I'm guessing three) in the suit and bow tie were a hit at the reception; and my coudin's wedding, where my niece (cousin's sister's daughter) shyly promised me that she,would say yes if I asked her to dance. Child-free weddings are entitled me-me-me bouts of narcissim. It is your tight, true, but that fon't make it right. Get over yourself. For the record, I am myself childless.
I really laughed at the woman saying she brought her feral four-year-old son "to be there for you on your special day." In what way is having a wild kid climbing on things and running around "being there" for the bride?? And to not even control the kid so he doesn't cause chaos? That woman is not your friend!
Her "friend" sounds unhinged and dumber than a brick. Sad she had kids.
Grown adults who can't follow simple written directions should apologize.
NTA, but don’t get why folks are so keen to attend weddings in the first place.
If I were invited to a wedding, I would hope it was child free. Parents no longer actually "parent." Most of them suggest that the kid be good, but no consequences. I don't want to have to watch for little kids if I'm drinking and dancing and having a good time. I would have kicked the couple out. Personally, I think if alcohol is served, everyone should be 21. Adults can get a little unruly when alcohol is served. Kids don't need to be around that.
Some of the AITA stories make me feel like they write them for other reason. They know they are NTA but want to show the other person that it was their fault. Like this story. Come on…it’s her wedding and she feels she might be in the wrong for bringing her own child. Really? No one should feel bad for the decisions they make for their own special day. It’s my own opinion though.
i had a child free wedding. the only kids who were there was my 4 year old flower girl who while she does have a wild side she knows how to behave. her mom was also my maid of honor so she was super well behaved. the other was my nephew who was 9 and he was the ring bearer. sweet kid and loves the spotlight lol. he knows wen the spotlight is on him and wen it isnt and wen it is he becomes so energized its adorable. it was 16 and up bc the next youngest neice i had was 16 and since she is very mature for her age we made sure she was included. another little detail about my flower girl is wen she is comfortable she listens perfectly. she knew everyone in my bridal party bc she was included in everything except bachlorette party. most of the guests on my side knew her as well bc alot of my parents friends and family friends lived in the gated community we lived in my maid of honor included. she did run alot but never got in anyones way. she just wanted to say hi to everyone she knew and give them a hug. bc i got married in 2020 we werent allowed to have a dance floor but we did have a dj. she even asked my husband if hed dance with her. none of our guests who had young children brought them. we didnt mention it was 16 and older in our invites we just mentioned it to those with kids under 16 and all of them said they already got a babysitter anyways so we didnt really need to say anything anyways. all the kids were 5 and under and our friends just assumed lol. if it wasnt covid season wen we got married we wouldve been totally fine with ppl bringing their kids. we only wanted it child free so the kids werent at risk of getting covid since they were mostly toddlers. in the end no one got covid tho. however if a couple says child free wedding on the invite it should b respected. sure the couple brought their 11 month old but the OP even said it was for picture purposes and her child would b taken home to the babysitter. so its not unfair in the end. i always respect anything a couple says on their invite. whether child free or a dress code i always respect it cuz its their day and it should b the way they planned it. ill never understand all these posts about ppl going against wat the bride and groom want. ur going there to support ppl u care about so y do something that disrespects them. bridezillas r an exception to this bc bridezillas usually ask unreasonable demands or disrespect those who dont do wat they want. but the OP i dont think asking for a child free wedding is unreasonable. i mean like i mention with my friends they assumed it was child free before we even said anything. this rude guest claims shes the brides best friend. if she really was a best friend she wouldve respected the brides wishes.
It isn’t fair either that women were not allowed to wear white dresses to the wedding, but the bride made an exception for herself. Oh, wait…
The baby literally didn't stay?? I'd kind of understand calling the bride a hypocrite if the 11mo old stayed the whole time, but she was brought in for photos and then whisked back home. You can hardly fault the bride for wanting photos with her own child.
Slightly off topic...I would have jumped at taking the little one home. Getting to see the ceremony and not having to eat food I didn't pick and listen to music I don't like and awkwardly interact with people? AND you seem like the hero for "sacrificing your good time". Sign me up.
The poster clearly loves drama or why would they post the other ones' text message. Also, your wedding was ruined by a 4 year old? Get some real problems.
My cousin's wedding had a lot of children. They gave them instruments to play during the hymns, which gave them a focus and made them feel important. I've never actually been, or even been invited, to a child-free wedding. You invite a young couple with children, you expect them to come as a family. Maybe it's an American thing.
As someone who is 42, I take EXTREME offense to the fact that you consider anybody over 40 "old looking people".
Load More Replies...Whether or not to have children depends on a variety of factors. Among them: cultural norms, behaviour of the children and their parents, safety factors, formality of the wedding.
Load More Replies...Are all of these people forever stuck in toddlerhood? Like, yelling and claiming something "isn't fair"? So not only is she the bride and the one who makes the rules, it is in no way the same wanting your baby in a few pictures to having a 4 year old run around the entire party.
Some peaked during collage, some peaked as a toddler..
Load More Replies...Brought her kid, doubled down, then gaslit with personal attacks? That's not a friend. Get rid.
Hard to believe she was ever a Friend!!! No kids mean no kids!
Load More Replies..."I wanted my son to be there for you on your special day" - and to what end? Thanks, kid, we would have missed you running up and down the aisle like a bridesmaid on amphetamines and serenading us with 12 verses of "Baby Shark", then parkouring at the reception, rolling around screaming like a fallen banshee because the food sucks, pouncing on the wedding cake like a cheetah taking down an antelope, and generally just "being a child". Really, that gives a bad name to 4-year-olds. And their DGAF mothers. At least the father had the decency to be embarrassed, but probably had to deal with his wife's wrath.
That comment really stuck out for me too! Ridiculous attempt to make it sound reasonable.
Load More Replies...Yet again, the YTAs are completely unhinged. Wow, the bride wanted her baby in her wedding photos! Who could have imagined?
Right? "You ruined your own wedding with your attitude, you could just get over it!" People who 'just get over' other people intentionally stomping on their boundaries are also known as 'doormats.' "Just get over it" does not prevent this clearly uncontrolled preschooler from leaving a trail of destruction through their wedding.
Load More Replies...First, as others have said - you're wedding, your rules. But also OP was only having her child stay for the ceremony (which makes TOTAL sense because she is, after all, OPs daughter!), and then a short time at the reception for pictures before going to stay with a babysitter - so for all intents and purposes the wedding was child-free, no?
Who in the heck wants to bring a kid to a wedding? "I brought him for you on your special day!" 4 years olds don't even understand what's going on. They aren't compatible with an adult style wedding and bringing the couples child along so they are part of the photographs is different. The invitation says no kids. You don't bring kids or you don't go period. Apparently the friend has about the same maturity as her 4 year old so she should have disincluded herself as a child.
I just love reading the YTAs on these posts. Just when you tin people couldn't be any more unhinged...
Lol. I commented before reading the comments. I also found them to be unhinged.
Load More Replies...Get rid of her and NTA of course - it US your wedding, you decide who attends. Of course you want xour own chikd to be part of it - thst does not mean you have to tolerate other children Ranking around and wreaking havoc. You made it clean from the start they could not bting their children. And WTF is wrong with the YTAs??
That twat is insane and needs to be cut completely off - problem solved.
Why would you want to bring a 4 yo to a wedding? Especially one with no provisions for kids. It's boring. It's all grown ups talking. The food is not what kids like. There's no one to play with. Why would you do this to your kid unless you just wanted to ruin someone else's day and you don't mind using your own child to do it?
"you knew the chronically online teens of Reddit would obviously back you up" I'm 53 and I'm backing the bride up. These kinds of entitled mothers who think the world revolves around their messiah of a child and they should be included in everything all the time and can act like a rabid badger because 'kids will be kids'. Too bad there isn't a time machine to go back and make her use birth control. That's just my not-a-teen opinion.
(Snort), sure, bringing your infant to your own wedding for the photographs and then sending them home is exactly the same as a guest bringing their fully mobile 4 year old to someone else's "no children under 14" wedding. Oh, and you're spoiling your infant too.
Ditch the so-called 'friend.' NO ONE brings a 4 yr old to a wedding for the couple's sake. She's full of sht and trying to gaslight OP and the internet for being an irresponsible adult.
I agree - but could be difficult. She's the wife of the OP's husband's best friend. Awkward!
Load More Replies...Jessica is trash, ignorant trash! Its hilarious that's she calls reddit users chronically online teens, yet HER husband saw the the post. And no, no one is scared of her. But bless her heart. Jessica is a worthless human,....We know the YTAs are from trashy Jessica and her trashy friends....
Um, are you sure she's your friend? I'd have to end that. It was your wedding and you had your baby there for pictures. And for all the people saying YTA, they're most likely one that think it's all about them.
Not sure how many times this needs to be said but having guests present isn't essential to a wedding. I'm willing to go further and say the married couple dictates who can show up without any consistent of rules or explanation. They could pretty much invite all 50 of their cats to the ceremony while not allowing your cat to come. Is it fair? no....is it insane? yeah.
Jessica is an AH and rude loser, sad to know she reproduce another human being. I hope Darren will be the main caretaker for the son so he can grow up like a decent human. OP, needs to grow a spine. Send Jessica my way, I'm one to love confrontation and I'll destroy that women stupidity and selfishness.
I let my cousin's toddler twins come to my wedding, one of the bridesmaids ended up with a child's handprint on her light blue skirt... but we got off lucky! A year or so later, at their uncle's society wedding in the park, the twins decided to strip down and jump in the fountain!
Once again, I wonder if the YTAs actually read the entire thread. She had her baby there for photos and then sent the baby home. Toddlers are exhausting but that "I thought I was your best friend" woman is even more so. Her text to OP was so full of "I" statements it was definitely entitled behavior. "I thought we were friends!" "I thought you'd appreciate my 4yo being there" "I wanted him there FOR you..." she sounds like the AH.
I don't understand that when people get called out for something they double down and get belligerent. Instead of saying I am sorry, I will X Y Z to fix it. Also, just because you are louder doesn't mean you are right
I’ve said the before but many weddings have a person who finds it absolutely unbearable that the bride is the centre of attention at their wedding. They find an excuse to kick off drama and pull the attention to themselves, while dimming the shine of the day. Jessica is the person in OP’s life. If it wasn’t the child not being invited to the wedding, it would have been something else. I’m sure she’s just fine when it’s all about her but when it is about OP, look out.
I'm sorry, but I will never attend a child-free wedding, even if I am in the wedding party myself. For me, weddings are about family. I remember the last wedding I attended, where the little boy (I'm guessing three) in the suit and bow tie were a hit at the reception; and my coudin's wedding, where my niece (cousin's sister's daughter) shyly promised me that she,would say yes if I asked her to dance. Child-free weddings are entitled me-me-me bouts of narcissim. It is your tight, true, but that fon't make it right. Get over yourself. For the record, I am myself childless.
I really laughed at the woman saying she brought her feral four-year-old son "to be there for you on your special day." In what way is having a wild kid climbing on things and running around "being there" for the bride?? And to not even control the kid so he doesn't cause chaos? That woman is not your friend!
Her "friend" sounds unhinged and dumber than a brick. Sad she had kids.
Grown adults who can't follow simple written directions should apologize.
NTA, but don’t get why folks are so keen to attend weddings in the first place.
If I were invited to a wedding, I would hope it was child free. Parents no longer actually "parent." Most of them suggest that the kid be good, but no consequences. I don't want to have to watch for little kids if I'm drinking and dancing and having a good time. I would have kicked the couple out. Personally, I think if alcohol is served, everyone should be 21. Adults can get a little unruly when alcohol is served. Kids don't need to be around that.
Some of the AITA stories make me feel like they write them for other reason. They know they are NTA but want to show the other person that it was their fault. Like this story. Come on…it’s her wedding and she feels she might be in the wrong for bringing her own child. Really? No one should feel bad for the decisions they make for their own special day. It’s my own opinion though.
i had a child free wedding. the only kids who were there was my 4 year old flower girl who while she does have a wild side she knows how to behave. her mom was also my maid of honor so she was super well behaved. the other was my nephew who was 9 and he was the ring bearer. sweet kid and loves the spotlight lol. he knows wen the spotlight is on him and wen it isnt and wen it is he becomes so energized its adorable. it was 16 and up bc the next youngest neice i had was 16 and since she is very mature for her age we made sure she was included. another little detail about my flower girl is wen she is comfortable she listens perfectly. she knew everyone in my bridal party bc she was included in everything except bachlorette party. most of the guests on my side knew her as well bc alot of my parents friends and family friends lived in the gated community we lived in my maid of honor included. she did run alot but never got in anyones way. she just wanted to say hi to everyone she knew and give them a hug. bc i got married in 2020 we werent allowed to have a dance floor but we did have a dj. she even asked my husband if hed dance with her. none of our guests who had young children brought them. we didnt mention it was 16 and older in our invites we just mentioned it to those with kids under 16 and all of them said they already got a babysitter anyways so we didnt really need to say anything anyways. all the kids were 5 and under and our friends just assumed lol. if it wasnt covid season wen we got married we wouldve been totally fine with ppl bringing their kids. we only wanted it child free so the kids werent at risk of getting covid since they were mostly toddlers. in the end no one got covid tho. however if a couple says child free wedding on the invite it should b respected. sure the couple brought their 11 month old but the OP even said it was for picture purposes and her child would b taken home to the babysitter. so its not unfair in the end. i always respect anything a couple says on their invite. whether child free or a dress code i always respect it cuz its their day and it should b the way they planned it. ill never understand all these posts about ppl going against wat the bride and groom want. ur going there to support ppl u care about so y do something that disrespects them. bridezillas r an exception to this bc bridezillas usually ask unreasonable demands or disrespect those who dont do wat they want. but the OP i dont think asking for a child free wedding is unreasonable. i mean like i mention with my friends they assumed it was child free before we even said anything. this rude guest claims shes the brides best friend. if she really was a best friend she wouldve respected the brides wishes.
It isn’t fair either that women were not allowed to wear white dresses to the wedding, but the bride made an exception for herself. Oh, wait…
The baby literally didn't stay?? I'd kind of understand calling the bride a hypocrite if the 11mo old stayed the whole time, but she was brought in for photos and then whisked back home. You can hardly fault the bride for wanting photos with her own child.
Slightly off topic...I would have jumped at taking the little one home. Getting to see the ceremony and not having to eat food I didn't pick and listen to music I don't like and awkwardly interact with people? AND you seem like the hero for "sacrificing your good time". Sign me up.
The poster clearly loves drama or why would they post the other ones' text message. Also, your wedding was ruined by a 4 year old? Get some real problems.
My cousin's wedding had a lot of children. They gave them instruments to play during the hymns, which gave them a focus and made them feel important. I've never actually been, or even been invited, to a child-free wedding. You invite a young couple with children, you expect them to come as a family. Maybe it's an American thing.
As someone who is 42, I take EXTREME offense to the fact that you consider anybody over 40 "old looking people".
Load More Replies...Whether or not to have children depends on a variety of factors. Among them: cultural norms, behaviour of the children and their parents, safety factors, formality of the wedding.
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