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“I Think What He Did Was A Red Flag”: Bride Asks Groom For A Divorce Just A Day After Their Wedding
Marriage is built on communication, respect, and trust. So if you can’t have these things on your wedding day, which is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life, is there a future at all? This woman doesn’t think so.
Online magazine Slate has an advice column called “Dear Prudence” where readers submit questions they don’t have answers to. For one of its recent editions, an anonymous woman sent in a confession where she described the disrespectful stunt her partner pulled on her during the ceremony.
She asked for a divorce the very next day, but everyone around her said she was overreacting and should give her man another chance. But she doesn’t want to and believes in her judgment. So the woman described what happened and asked for reassurance if what she was doing was OK.
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A woman felt hugely disrespected during her wedding day, so she asked for a divorce the next morning
Image credits: TIGER (not the actual photo)
And described the situation to an online magazine, asking if she overreacted
Dr. Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist and host of the podcast The Kurre and Klapow Show, defines romantic compatibility as “the degree to which each person’s view of love, intimacy, and attraction (and the expression of these experiences) work together for mutual benefit.” So if the author of the post feels loved when she can be safe, her partner taking it away from her on their special day is beyond selfish.
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, added that romantic compatibility happens when two people are “equally attracted to each other.” But more than feeling butterflies and being emotionally intimate, according to Susan, romantic compatibility happens when they’re both “on the same page about where you want the relationship to go.”
When it comes to romance, it’s all about the details, like doing activities the two of you can enjoy together. Not one person having fun at the expense of the other. This is just plain bullying. For Jessmina “Minaa B.” Archbold, psychotherapist, social worker, and author of Rivers Are Coming: Essays and Poems on Healing, romantic compatibility is when two partners respect each other and are interested in learning more about each other. “You don’t necessarily have to share the same interests,” Archbold explained. “But it means caring enough to learn about each other in order to strengthen the relationship bond, while also learning about each other’s needs.”
Wherever you look, experts define a good match as a union. That’s not a cliché. It’s reality. And if one party isn’t willing to accept it, why should the other pay the price for it?
The publishers said it’s all up to her
Image credits: slate.com
While every situation is different, JC Law, a legal firm with decades of experience in helping couples realize when to get a divorce instead of a mediation, claim these signs heavily suggest the former:
- You’re actively avoiding your partner;
- They don’t act like your partner;
- You don’t trust or respect your partner;
- You’ve tried and tried and tried… But nothing changes;
- You’re worried about what others might think;
- You’re staying together for the kids;
- It’s cheaper to stay together;
- You daydream about single life or dating;
- You’re thinking about separation, if not divorce.
I wonder how many of these apply to the newlyweds.
And so did everyone else who read her story
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What do you think ?
Pearl 2 years ago
Huh. It's weird how much people can change after marriage, but I'm sure there were red flags way before. You don't just turn into an asshat overnight.
Viviane 2 years ago
My family is from France and I grew up in Canada. Is smashing the cake in the bride's face an American custom? It sounds awfully hostile. (If both bride and groom are into that, that's different - still odd, but their mutual business)
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
I've seen it a few times, where a piece of cake is smeared liberally onto the face, usually the bride's first. It's cliche, and the bride never actually looks very happy about it. She usually laughs along because she doesn't want to get upset in front of everybody, but you can tell she's sort of pissed. Then she usually pays it back to the guy even worse because of how pissed she is, and it's the only acceptable outlet for her emotions at that moment. Then everybody laughs and takes pictures like they're having a good time. Yay, marriage. I never understand why the bride doesn't ask the groom not to do it beforehand.
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I had to stop reading at the part where he held her face int the cake. My PTSD redlined just thinking of it. TLDR: I'm on her side. Side note: My one close friend walked otu of her own reception and demanded an annulment due to this exact same behavior. Sinec we'd all known them both since age 14, we'd already placed informal wagers on how long that would take. They've been married 28 years, btw.
Parmeisan 2 years ago
Ouch, the story in your side not is really sad. If she was that unhappy with her partner that early on, AND you all knew or expected that she would be, I doubt it's been smooth sailing since. 28 years doesn't necessarily mean 28 good years, and I wonder if she's just not self-assured enough to end something that is making her alternately happy and unhappy.
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Pearl 2 years ago
Huh. It's weird how much people can change after marriage, but I'm sure there were red flags way before. You don't just turn into an asshat overnight.
Viviane 2 years ago
My family is from France and I grew up in Canada. Is smashing the cake in the bride's face an American custom? It sounds awfully hostile. (If both bride and groom are into that, that's different - still odd, but their mutual business)
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
I've seen it a few times, where a piece of cake is smeared liberally onto the face, usually the bride's first. It's cliche, and the bride never actually looks very happy about it. She usually laughs along because she doesn't want to get upset in front of everybody, but you can tell she's sort of pissed. Then she usually pays it back to the guy even worse because of how pissed she is, and it's the only acceptable outlet for her emotions at that moment. Then everybody laughs and takes pictures like they're having a good time. Yay, marriage. I never understand why the bride doesn't ask the groom not to do it beforehand.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I had to stop reading at the part where he held her face int the cake. My PTSD redlined just thinking of it. TLDR: I'm on her side. Side note: My one close friend walked otu of her own reception and demanded an annulment due to this exact same behavior. Sinec we'd all known them both since age 14, we'd already placed informal wagers on how long that would take. They've been married 28 years, btw.
Parmeisan 2 years ago
Ouch, the story in your side not is really sad. If she was that unhappy with her partner that early on, AND you all knew or expected that she would be, I doubt it's been smooth sailing since. 28 years doesn't necessarily mean 28 good years, and I wonder if she's just not self-assured enough to end something that is making her alternately happy and unhappy.
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