Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
50 Times People Dropped A Sentence That Probably No One Has Ever Thought Of Before, As Shared In This Group
People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Name That Death Megatron 300
RELATED:
#2
We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge
Helen Haley 3 years ago
My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.
As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.
#3
Griefcase
#4
I Do Not Vibe With This Soil
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.
#5
Soak It In Olive Oil
r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay
#6
He’s My Biological Dog
#7
Brad And His Cloud Of Lies
#8
Marked Slices Of Tree
I want cake 3 years ago
I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.
People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.
The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.
#9
No No, He's Got A Point
#10
Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?
#11
Lesbians To The Rescue
#12
We Drove Out The Lubrication
#13
How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?
#14
Happens To The Best Of Us
#15
Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars
#16
“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”
#17
Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe
#18
A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip
#19
Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You
Gandalf the Pink 3 years ago
The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.
#20
The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now
Alex the awful German 3 years ago
I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.
#21
“Festering...”
#22
I Am Chorizo
#23
Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World
#24
Floppy Discs
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really
#25
World Changer
#26
“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”
#27
Crotch Fruit Employees
#28
Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?
#29
“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”
#30
Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!
#31
Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?
#32
Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind
#33
Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated
#34
Two Mini Hellpanthers
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
My husband was the same way about the two cats I had when I was single. Within a week, he was also supervising their meals, and recommending better cat litter. This is a man who never had a cat as a pet in his life.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I'd laugh except I did this a few nights ago... *crawls away in shame*
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
My partner is the same. Ambivalent towards cats until he met mine. They day he got all three to follow him and have their dinner was the best day of his life - he couldn't stop talking about it for hours...
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
my now husband said he thought he was more a dog man b/c he'd never had a cat. Within 2 months my old cats loved him so much and I realized he's a cat whisperer. He doesn't even like dogs really. We are happy cat owners to this day.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
Dogs do it too. Their damp eyes bore into me. They only like white meat chicken or ham. If I put anything else in their bowl, they give me the damp eye again.
#35
The Eyebrow Spectrum
#36
Smoked Myself Back To Segregation
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.
#37
Julius In The Coolius
#38
You Are One Of My Sims
#39
Wiggles Concert
elStiJneriNO 3 years ago (edited)
why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway
#40
Whatever Works
#41
Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week
#42
Anon Knows The English Language
#43
Cyberbullied And Entire Studio
#44
LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal
#45
Cool Sport Rush
Bobert Robertson 3 years ago
Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something
#46
One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert
#47
Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have
Alex the awful German 3 years ago
I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"
#48
Life Pro Tip
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#49
Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Jess-a-men 3 years ago
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
Pit bull Lover 3 years ago
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Nothanks L. Walk 3 years ago
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
Load More Replies...
Julie 3 years ago
Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
MarsFKA 3 years ago
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
Axolotl King 3 years ago
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
Shelley DuVal 3 years ago
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
Jess-a-men 3 years ago
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
Pit bull Lover 3 years ago
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Nothanks L. Walk 3 years ago
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
Load More Replies... Julie 3 years ago
Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
MarsFKA 3 years ago
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
Axolotl King 3 years ago
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
Shelley DuVal 3 years ago
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
Related on Bored Panda
