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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

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    #2

    We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

    We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

    benphillip Report

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    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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    As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

    In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

    #4

    I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

    I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

    meme_mayezster Report

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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    #5

    Soak It In Olive Oil

    Soak It In Olive Oil

    2Apples3 Report

    r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

    "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

    #7

    Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

    Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

    doenerzwerg Report

    #8

    Marked Slices Of Tree

    Marked Slices Of Tree

    KatieOldham Report

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    I want cake
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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    People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

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    The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

    #9

    No No, He's Got A Point

    No No, He's Got A Point

    Adm1sty Report

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    #16

    “I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

    “I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

    Blackpanther786110 Report

    #17

    Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

    Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

    reddit.com Report

    #18

    A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

    A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

    highway_40 Report

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    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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    #19

    Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

    Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

    notsofancymum Report

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    Gandalf the Pink
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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    #20

    The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

    The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

    Matelord99 Report

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    Alex the awful German
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

    Amy Dodds
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you're not actually hungry to eat all the leftovers, so now all you have is a sad little snack.

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    #22

    I Am Chorizo

    I Am Chorizo

    kevinowdziej Report

    #23

    Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

    Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

    yoyoha Report

    #24

    Floppy Discs

    Floppy Discs

    karenvideoeditor Report

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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    #25

    World Changer

    World Changer

    ronnui_ Report

    #26

    “Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

    “Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

    jackwick23 Report

    #27

    Crotch Fruit Employees

    Crotch Fruit Employees

    MaxQuill Report

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    bryguy
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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    #28

    Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

    Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

    ShinigamiDady Report

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    I I
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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    #29

    “Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

    “Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

    lindsaybauer36 Report

    #31

    Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

    Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

    praaany Report

    #33

    Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

    Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

    SwipingNoSwiper Report

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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    #34

    Two Mini Hellpanthers

    Two Mini Hellpanthers

    Lemightyman Report

    #36

    Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

    Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

    Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

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    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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    #39

    Wiggles Concert

    Wiggles Concert

    Daniel_Min Report

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    elStiJneriNO
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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    #41

    Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

    Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

    reddit.com Report

    #43

    Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

    Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

    drnkchineseboi Report

    #44

    LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

    LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

    CrimsonComet777 Report

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    #45

    Cool Sport Rush

    Cool Sport Rush

    RyckandMorti Report

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    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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    #46

    One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

    One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

    markedly Report

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    POST
    Friday
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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    #47

    Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

    Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

    genius23sarcasm Report

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    Alex the awful German
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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    #48

    Life Pro Tip

    Life Pro Tip

    UnculturedYam Report

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    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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    #49

    Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

    Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

    MartinniTheJawa Report

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    #51

    Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

    Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

    Round_Rock_Johnson Report

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    #53

    Huh?

    Huh?

    deepzeke Report

    #55

    Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

    Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

    synthgrrl Report

    #56

    "Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

    "Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

    LotG Report

    #58

    “Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

    “Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

    ttlai Report

    #59

    Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

    Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

    afrid_ali Report

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    #63

    Magic Skeleton

    Magic Skeleton

    Pasghettipourn Report

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    the child
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    didn't expect motivation among the wondrous gobbledegook in this article but thank you

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    #64

    I Love Biology Facts

    I Love Biology Facts

    bonelazo Report

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    Marianne
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This rule is only true for land predators. Most fish and birds have eyes facing to the sides, because they have to navigate through a 3 dimensional medium.

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    #66

    The Wet World Is A Bad Place

    The Wet World Is A Bad Place

    VA2M Report

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    #69

    Steve Irwin’s Wario

    Steve Irwin’s Wario

    smok000 Report

    #71

    Escape Proof Wiener Bun

    Escape Proof Wiener Bun

    trulygreg67 Report

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    Michelle Brandt
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you imagine this little cutie running off to grab his hotdog bun because he knows he needs it to go outside? Middle of the night "Mom I gotta potty!" *drops costume on your face* OMG that's adorable!

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    #72

    Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

    Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

    Thedepressionoftrees Report

    #73

    When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

    When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

    bigtimeyikes Report

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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You realise that this makes just as much sense as the human version of capitalism.

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    #74

    We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

    We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

    Thedepressionoftrees Report

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    #77

    “Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

    “Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

    trish-from-HR Report

    #78

    It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

    It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

    Octalgulfweed560 Report

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    POST
    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not quick, easy or free when the closest river is 5km away.

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    #79

    Gay Insider Trading

    Gay Insider Trading

    _mach Report

    #80

    Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

    Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

    VyceVictus Report

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    POST
    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your burgeoning existential crisis has moved me. Go forth and meltify.

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    #81

    "Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

    "Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

    yosemite78atreddit Report

    #82

    I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

    I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

    AmazingScallion Report

    #83

    Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

    Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

    jp_1896 Report

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    #84

    In The History Of Children

    In The History Of Children

    BlanketMage Report

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    Annamagelic
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet it turns out children have been about 10000% better at following the rules and minimizing the spread of covid than adults.

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    #85

    “A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

    “A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

    Dxj_R Report

    #86

    Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

    Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

    Un_FaZed211 Report

    #87

    Jenga Tower Of Blood

    Jenga Tower Of Blood

    floridatastic Report

    #88

    Virtual Cowboy

    Virtual Cowboy

    ApXv Report

    #90

    Dog Villains

    Dog Villains

    norro58 Report

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    POST
    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one in purple is the meanest one, and she is the big sister of the other one who is less evil but who obeys because he is wary of her.

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    #91

    Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

    Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

    Howard_duck1 Report

    #92

    Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

    Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

    BillDixonish Report

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    kristy sickles
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked at a restaurant and DMX came in one day and bought a Heineken and a burger I personally cooked for him and he ordered another one to go and gave me a hug so I guess he liked it lol. He was very nice and yes I kept that beer bottle! RIP my friend!

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    #93

    Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

    Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

    Livid_Jeweler612 Report

    #94

    That Good Ol Southern Drawl

    That Good Ol Southern Drawl

    treesmithmusic Report

    #96

    A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

    A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

    lilsadb*tch69 Report

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    POST
    K Witmer
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have Elvis pez dispensers in unopened boxes that are 33 years old. Someone offered 800$ for them. I have 3. I did not know there was a pez community but now I must be a member

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    #97

    Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

    Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

    Udzu Report

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    #98

    Very Specific

    Very Specific

    theOG-Larrymenta Report

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    Mac
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so f*****g funny oh my god the last part😂

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    #99

    How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

    How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

    Dresslerj1 Report

    #100

    Horseback Jesus

    Horseback Jesus

    reddit.com Report

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    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha yeah, in my hometown in the early 2ks, that was the "a*sf**k guy". It was a hobo, probably with some sort of mental deficit, just rambling around town yelling stuff about a*sf**king all day long.

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    #101

    Primitive Urges

    Primitive Urges

    jkpianocomposer Report

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a pond with tadpoles in my backyard... I am having weird urges right now...

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    #103

    "The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

    "The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

    why-am-i-sad Report

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    #105

    Hmmm Yes

    Hmmm Yes

    kaploov Report

    #106

    Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

    Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

    Devioustuna247 Report

    #107

    The Vegans Of Gaming

    The Vegans Of Gaming

    c4jina Report

    #108

    My Elementary School Locker Combination

    My Elementary School Locker Combination

    lord_tachanka43 Report

    #109

    Wrestling With A Bobcat

    Wrestling With A Bobcat

    megahornet Report

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    Charity Amante
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like having to pee when you've been swimming- pulling up the ole one piece is torture

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    #112

    He Ain't Wrong

    He Ain't Wrong

    Briskey Report

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    Shelp
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never understood why the Americans started using "daddy" in a sexual way. That's beyond me

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    #113

    If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

    If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

    Juj_88 Report

    #114

    Moon’s Haunted

    Moon’s Haunted

    TheAlphaOmega21 Report

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    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that seems to be the US way of solving things. Just bring guns.

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    #115

    Hottie Hot Take

    Hottie Hot Take

    nividdesai Report

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    Rita Shapiro
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do the multitaskers go? I suppose if we adopted your new system they could commandeer the specially-marked mandatory trans bathrooms in Alabama, but that's too far to drive for most of us.

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    #116

    Get Down Jeezy Boy

    Get Down Jeezy Boy

    TtTwichy21 Report

    #117

    Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

    Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

    spoonboyforkman Report

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    #119

    Well That’s A Pivot

    Well That’s A Pivot

    napqueen1 Report

    #120

    Circumcise Me, Captain!

    Circumcise Me, Captain!

    bitchyswiftie Report

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    Mazer
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so hard not to react to those little gems, once you do, you have lost years of hard won ground

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    #121

    Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

    Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

    Fanfic_Galore Report

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    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Luigi was only necessary for Waluigi's generation. Now the ritual is complete.

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    #122

    Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

    Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

    Photmaus Report

    #123

    See Ya Later

    See Ya Later

    harrygill1991 Report

    #125

    When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

    When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

    ThisIsOmeySalvi Report

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    Troux
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turtle sang in Three Amigos, turtle gonna sing in real life.

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    #126

    Don’t Be A Fool

    Don’t Be A Fool

    Spacemann7 Report

    #128

    Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

    Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

    lem0nstealingwhore Report

    #129

    Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

    Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

    tbonemoe316 Report

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    Marcia Cash
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    boyfriend told me "You're not beautiful, but your cute. That's great! Beauty fades, but cute is forever."

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    #131

    Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

    Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

    chrsandersson Report

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    Sarah
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haven't heard that version, but considering the meaning behind the original, there's no way that song works with "Santa Buddy."

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    #132

    Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

    Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

    wholelottabread Report

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    Troux
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you take it off after the shower or just put on a form fitting shirt and wait for queries?

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    #133

    Icy

    Icy

    khushbuuu_ Report

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    #134

    This Scholarly Film Reviewer

    This Scholarly Film Reviewer

    ChrisMMatthews Report

    #135

    Checkmate, Aethiesm

    Checkmate, Aethiesm

    Shorya12 Report

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    Troux
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fits just as well around the body of a cobra. There's even room for two hands. Go with God.

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    #136

    Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

    Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

    Sleuthin___ Report

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    #137

    I Want To Move To New Jersey

    I Want To Move To New Jersey

    A_Mei_Zing39 Report

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's wrong with the old one? This is a terrible throw-away society!

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