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Woman Asks If She’s The Jerk For Not Wearing A Bra In Her Apartment While The Repair Guy Was Over
Being a mom is a full-time job and probably one of the most demanding ones at that. So, you’d expect a new mother to be cut some slack, especially considering she’s nursing on top of all her other parenting duties.
For one woman, though, her husband got mad at her for going braless while the repair guy came to their house. She called her hubby insane for expecting her to strap on a bra just because a stranger was around, but still took to Reddit to ask if she was being a jerk in the situation.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Nursing moms have enough on their hands, but this woman’s husband demanded even more
Image credits: Chuot Anhls / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her hubby got mad at her for not wearing a bra when the repair guy came to their house
Image credits: Castorly Stock / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman called her husband insane for his reaction, especially since she was wearing a t-shirt that revealed nothing
Image credits: u/No_Detail_9419
Stunned by her husband’s behavior, she took to the web to ask if she was being a jerk
OP begins her story by telling the community that her husband is angry at her for not wearing a bra while the repair guy was briefly at their house. She adds that she was wearing a t-shirt that didn’t reveal a thing, but that her husband said the repair guy could still see her nipples and her breasts moving around inside the garment.
She admits that she’s a large-chested woman and that hiding her breasts is impossible but said that it was insane for her husband to have a problem with it just because there was a stranger around.
OP added that she’s still nursing the couple’s youngest child and that going braless makes breastfeeding more convenient for her. She concluded her post by asking Reddit if she was being a jerk in the situation.
From what we can gather from OP’s post, it sounds like her husband is trying to assert his dominance over her or claim some kind of ownership of her body in their relationship. This isn’t all that surprising considering men have been telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies literally forever.
Image credits: tonodiaz / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But did you know that, until about 100 years ago, it was illegal for men to go topless, too? Of course, men rebelled and scoffed at the $1 fine they’d have to pay for showing their nipples and getting some sun on their chests and the laws soon changed.
In her article for Men’s Health, Alison Bonaguro writes that, today, it’s legal for women to take off their shirts in 36 states. And only three states—Utah, Tennessee, and Indiana— have laws explicitly forbidding female nipple exposure.
Bonaguro adds, however, that women would still be flouting the law by going shirtless in any of these states, because an exposed female nipple is still considered lewd pretty much everywhere. The same goes for social media, where men can go to town with shirtless selfies, while women risk being banned from the platforms for doing the same.
The issue is that male nipples have just never been as socially sexualized as female nipples. Says Toronto-based intimacy expert Dr. Stephen de Wit, “Men have been conditioned to see the female breast and nipple as inherently intimate.”
It seems women’s nipples are something to be coveted, desired, and unfortunately hidden until physical intimacy is imminent.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
And so, in 2012, with gender inequality and discrimination as rampant as ever, the scene was set for a new kind of liberation movement. Director Lina Esco filmed the movie Free The Nipple, which followed a fictional group of young women exposing the double-standard and protesting for equality.
Set in New York City, the film staged real-life protests during production — pink balaclava-clad women running through Times Square topless, dodging police and wheat-pasting “Free the nipple” posters all over walls. There were real arrests, there was media coverage, and the #FreeTheNipple movement was born.
While the film encountered numerous obstacles from production to distribution, the phrase (which would be printed across theater marquees) became a viral hashtag and has since been used by influential personalities like Miley Cyrus and Kendall Jenner to protest social media censorship of the female-presenting body. In fact, an article for Harper’s Bazaar features 29 celebrities who have embraced the movement.
In his article for Euro News, David Mouriquand writes that Free The Nipple anchors itself in the topfreedom movement, a political and cultural campaign which seeks changes in laws to allow women to be topless in public – from allowing mothers to openly breastfeed in public to getting rid of arrests and restrictions when a woman shows her breasts in public.
In early 2023, the oversight board at Meta (which owns Instagram) recommended that the company revise its rules regarding nipples, stating that its policy “is based on a binary view of gender and a distinction between male and female bodies.” Unfortunately, not much has changed since then when it comes to gender equality on the platform.
What do you think of OP’s situation? Was her husband out of line for getting mad at her? Do you think the nipple should finally be freed? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Redditors weighed in in the comments saying the husband was the jerk and there’s nothing wrong with nipples, especially when, unlike with men, they serve an actual purpose
Of course, some people disagreed with the nursing mother, saying she was being disrespectful to her hubby and the repair guy
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What do you think ?
Spannidandoolar 4 months ago (edited)
When you are breastfeeding not having to wear a bra is far more comfortable for your nipples and breasts. Also if he's got issues with public breastfeeding then he will always be 100% TA.
Jill Rhodry 4 months ago
Totally agree - my kids were breastfed in nearly any location you care to mention - 30 years ago - and I never received filthy looks or bad comments. -
Load More Replies... Jill Rhodry 4 months ago
Hang on Pandas - why aren't we discussing 'HOW DID HE KNOW' that she didn't have on a bra. He wasn't home. Did he ask her - "how'd it go with couch dude today and btw did you wear a bra?"
UKGrandad 4 months ago
I was wondering how he knew, too. I can only assume that he noticed she was bra-less when he came home and asked if she'd been put one on for the repairman's visit.
Load More Replies...
Ellinor 4 months ago (edited)
NTA. Breasts and nipples are normal and very much NOT sexual. Anyway, if I had to count every time I have seen a man's nipples through his shirt I would be still counting. (and oh my gods the bra hurt so much when you're big chested !)
Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
By the same argument, buttocks are simply muscles that enable you to walk. It's naïve to think that men do not see breasts and nipples as sexual - that's why the fabric is where it is on a bikini. It also ignores the fact that nipples change in response to sexual arousal. Most sensible, mature men, however, will not consider a breastfeeding woman as anything other than a natural process.
Load More Replies...
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago
If a repair person came here when I didn't know they were coming, they'd be lucky if I had on a shirt. I'm way too insulated as it is.
tee-lena 4 months ago
Oh. My god. The yta comments are unhinged and just misogynistic. I don't wear bras. Ever. They hurt and I will not cause myself more pain because nutwits cannot control themselves. And yes I am quite large. 200lbs with big ole titties to go with the big ole a*s and my big ole belly. No one should be forced to wear a bra.ever.
zovjraar me 4 months ago
mine are small, barely a B cup, but i stopped wearing bras during COVID. if i have to look professional for work, i have pasties i can use.
Load More Replies...
Austzn 4 months ago
That guy is insecure. I had a delivery job that brought me inside people's houses often. Let me share some things from my memory that stuck way more than the shape of any nipples I saw: Old people having some health problem that was solved by asking me to get their "green meds" for them (this was before medical cannabis laws). Finding old people stroking out on the floor clutching photos of their family 😢. Having to immediately fight off dogs that the person, "had no idea how/why"....yeah... The home owner telling me to park the heavy truck somewhere specific only for it to get stuck and then lie about it to the company. Threats of gun violence over the truck that they knew was coming and parked in the exact same place as 2 weeks prior and every 2 weeks prior to that. Hoarders! Not in a residence but 1 guy at a grocery loading dock (like where all the trucks park) tried to fight me because he thought he had a special parking spot for his SUV back there, was not an employee.
zovjraar me 4 months ago
damn them YTA's would really pissed hearing i sit naked in front of my front window and delivery people who look are getting an eyeful! they're tits, fer christ's sake. literally EVERYONE has tits. some are bigger, smaller, flappier, flatter. all mammals have tits! am i supposed to cover up my dogs' dirty pillows??
Just stopping by 4 months ago
This is why I feel like when you have loyalty issues within the relationship even in the past, there's always some lack of trust there.
Michelle Seasor 4 months ago
No no no! The first thing I do when I get home is take off the bra! I refuse to wear one in the house unless we are having a party or lots of people over. But you are nta
MadderPacker 3 months ago
Lol reminds me of my wife's situation. She covers up when there are going to be male guests (I don't ask her to) but in return, asks me not to wear speedo shorts when there'll be female guests. Hey, fair is fair, I guess as long as there's no double standard.
Marno C. 4 months ago
Mind you, with insecure guys like this, if she did wear a bra, it would have been the "wrong" sort of bra (too colourful, too lacy, too enhancing, etc) and he'd be mad that she was "showing off." Dude is just proprietal over her breasts and barely accepts that they are there to feed his offspring.
Momma Jess 4 months ago
If I'm in my own home it's a sports bra or nothing. I've had maintenance guys in and out since I moved into this place working on things, and trust me when I say I DON'T stop to put one on for them. Hasn't seemed to impact their job or mine...just sayin...if the OP and partner have had infidelity issues that still doesn't change my stance, because he chose to stay and needs to work on the insecurity issues to keep going in the relationship, yes trust was broken, but if you're gonna stay together you gotta do the work, not gripe when someone is comfortable in their home.
MrsFettesVette 3 months ago
The person who said "it's disrespectful in a monogamous relationship" is the real AH.
R Dennis 4 months ago
Heck, we have a plumber coming out tomorrow to give a quote and my wife is going to try to get him to flush the hot water tank to "show her how to do it." (I am disabled and can't go down there anymore.) She is going to try to sweet talk him - we have spent about $1000 with him already this year. I told her she could try not wearing a bra (I was kidding)... and now this article comes up! 😂 I guess honestly as long as my wife feels comfortable and safe, Idgaf what she wears...
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 4 months ago
If gay guys and women in general can manage to have some self-control to not ogle or try to fondle everything they find sexy that comes their way in a non-sexual context, straight dudes need to learn this, too. They are just conditioned by society that it is always on the woman to not "tempt" the man by whatever insane standards are applied.
UKGrandad 4 months ago
1) What we wear in public has no bearing on what we wear in our own homes. 2) The OP says nothing about tidying up, so that's irrelevant. 3) Be kind to whom? The repairman isn't the issue here, it's the husband who has the problem.
Load More Replies... Spannidandoolar 4 months ago (edited)
When you are breastfeeding not having to wear a bra is far more comfortable for your nipples and breasts. Also if he's got issues with public breastfeeding then he will always be 100% TA.
Jill Rhodry 4 months ago
Totally agree - my kids were breastfed in nearly any location you care to mention - 30 years ago - and I never received filthy looks or bad comments. -
Load More Replies... Jill Rhodry 4 months ago
Hang on Pandas - why aren't we discussing 'HOW DID HE KNOW' that she didn't have on a bra. He wasn't home. Did he ask her - "how'd it go with couch dude today and btw did you wear a bra?"
UKGrandad 4 months ago
I was wondering how he knew, too. I can only assume that he noticed she was bra-less when he came home and asked if she'd been put one on for the repairman's visit.
Load More Replies... Ellinor 4 months ago (edited)
NTA. Breasts and nipples are normal and very much NOT sexual. Anyway, if I had to count every time I have seen a man's nipples through his shirt I would be still counting. (and oh my gods the bra hurt so much when you're big chested !)
Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
By the same argument, buttocks are simply muscles that enable you to walk. It's naïve to think that men do not see breasts and nipples as sexual - that's why the fabric is where it is on a bikini. It also ignores the fact that nipples change in response to sexual arousal. Most sensible, mature men, however, will not consider a breastfeeding woman as anything other than a natural process.
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago
If a repair person came here when I didn't know they were coming, they'd be lucky if I had on a shirt. I'm way too insulated as it is.
tee-lena 4 months ago
Oh. My god. The yta comments are unhinged and just misogynistic. I don't wear bras. Ever. They hurt and I will not cause myself more pain because nutwits cannot control themselves. And yes I am quite large. 200lbs with big ole titties to go with the big ole a*s and my big ole belly. No one should be forced to wear a bra.ever.
zovjraar me 4 months ago
mine are small, barely a B cup, but i stopped wearing bras during COVID. if i have to look professional for work, i have pasties i can use.
Load More Replies... Austzn 4 months ago
That guy is insecure. I had a delivery job that brought me inside people's houses often. Let me share some things from my memory that stuck way more than the shape of any nipples I saw: Old people having some health problem that was solved by asking me to get their "green meds" for them (this was before medical cannabis laws). Finding old people stroking out on the floor clutching photos of their family 😢. Having to immediately fight off dogs that the person, "had no idea how/why"....yeah... The home owner telling me to park the heavy truck somewhere specific only for it to get stuck and then lie about it to the company. Threats of gun violence over the truck that they knew was coming and parked in the exact same place as 2 weeks prior and every 2 weeks prior to that. Hoarders! Not in a residence but 1 guy at a grocery loading dock (like where all the trucks park) tried to fight me because he thought he had a special parking spot for his SUV back there, was not an employee.
zovjraar me 4 months ago
damn them YTA's would really pissed hearing i sit naked in front of my front window and delivery people who look are getting an eyeful! they're tits, fer christ's sake. literally EVERYONE has tits. some are bigger, smaller, flappier, flatter. all mammals have tits! am i supposed to cover up my dogs' dirty pillows??
Just stopping by 4 months ago
This is why I feel like when you have loyalty issues within the relationship even in the past, there's always some lack of trust there.
Michelle Seasor 4 months ago
No no no! The first thing I do when I get home is take off the bra! I refuse to wear one in the house unless we are having a party or lots of people over. But you are nta
MadderPacker 3 months ago
Lol reminds me of my wife's situation. She covers up when there are going to be male guests (I don't ask her to) but in return, asks me not to wear speedo shorts when there'll be female guests. Hey, fair is fair, I guess as long as there's no double standard.
Marno C. 4 months ago
Mind you, with insecure guys like this, if she did wear a bra, it would have been the "wrong" sort of bra (too colourful, too lacy, too enhancing, etc) and he'd be mad that she was "showing off." Dude is just proprietal over her breasts and barely accepts that they are there to feed his offspring.
Momma Jess 4 months ago
If I'm in my own home it's a sports bra or nothing. I've had maintenance guys in and out since I moved into this place working on things, and trust me when I say I DON'T stop to put one on for them. Hasn't seemed to impact their job or mine...just sayin...if the OP and partner have had infidelity issues that still doesn't change my stance, because he chose to stay and needs to work on the insecurity issues to keep going in the relationship, yes trust was broken, but if you're gonna stay together you gotta do the work, not gripe when someone is comfortable in their home.
MrsFettesVette 3 months ago
The person who said "it's disrespectful in a monogamous relationship" is the real AH.
R Dennis 4 months ago
Heck, we have a plumber coming out tomorrow to give a quote and my wife is going to try to get him to flush the hot water tank to "show her how to do it." (I am disabled and can't go down there anymore.) She is going to try to sweet talk him - we have spent about $1000 with him already this year. I told her she could try not wearing a bra (I was kidding)... and now this article comes up! 😂 I guess honestly as long as my wife feels comfortable and safe, Idgaf what she wears...
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 4 months ago
If gay guys and women in general can manage to have some self-control to not ogle or try to fondle everything they find sexy that comes their way in a non-sexual context, straight dudes need to learn this, too. They are just conditioned by society that it is always on the woman to not "tempt" the man by whatever insane standards are applied.
UKGrandad 4 months ago
1) What we wear in public has no bearing on what we wear in our own homes. 2) The OP says nothing about tidying up, so that's irrelevant. 3) Be kind to whom? The repairman isn't the issue here, it's the husband who has the problem.
Load More Replies...
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