Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults

Parents, teachers, and other people around them play a large role in a kid’s life, socialization, and development. A lot of what happens in childhood can matter for a lifetime, so it’s really important that everybody involved try their best to raise a mindful human being. However, it’s easy to mess up. After all, nobody’s perfect. What matters is recognizing these parenting mistakes and improving. Recently, artist Damian Alexander created a comic pointing out one specific area that he thinks everybody should pay more attention to when raising kids. Boys adoring female role models.

More info: damianimated.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter

And you couldn’t find a better person for the job. Damian grew up in a pretty artistic family and got a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art. Also, he experienced all of this first-hand. “Growing up, my favorite character was Matilda. She was so smart, and I related to her feeling out of place in her family,” Damian told Bored Panda. “The telekinesis thing was also really exciting for me. Then there’s Anne of Green Gables, Hermione from Harry Potter, Mary Poppins, Mulan, and so many more female heroes. I think it’s because girl characters tend to use creative problem solving instead of outright violence, and I found that a lot more engaging.”

His family never seemed to care much or take notice of it. “If I wanted a doll or something though, they’d direct me toward an action figure. They did it, complying with the social norms. Boys in my family would also turn up their nose if I wanted to play as Princess Peach in Super Smash Bros.”

And that’s the problem. Damian thinks that sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and gender bias are a huge part of why society thinks a boy shouldn’t look up to women. “A lot of men undervalue women and see them as less than. Probably because we have this toxic cycle of telling little boys they can’t admire women, and then having them grow up to disrespect women. A lot of parents also think if their son likes female superheroes, he’ll suddenly turn gay even though that’s not how that works at all.”

“Just let kids like what they like,” the artist said after being asked how society should break this gender role stigma. “If a little boy admires Elsa, just let him and don’t make a fuss about it. I’m so tired of seeing parents in the toy section direct their sons away from the doll aisle, saying, “Nope, that’s for girls!” Each time they’re planting the little seeds of misogyny in their kid’s head.”

After seeing Damian’s comic, people immediately started relating to it

Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Greta is a Photo Editor-in-Chief at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication.In 2016, she graduated from Digital Advertising courses where she had an opportunity to meet and learn from industry professionals. In the same year, she started working at Bored Panda as a photo editor.Greta is a coffeeholic and cannot survive a day without 5 cups of coffee... and her cute, big-eared dog.Her biggest open secret: she is a gamer with a giant gaming backlog.

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What do you think ?

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Foxxy 5 years ago (edited)

I saw a boy about 2 years old holding a pink my little pony ball. At the checkout the mum realised the design of ball he had and said “I’m not getting you a pink ball, any other colour would be better”. The little boy looked so upset coz he didn’t understand that people see toys and images as gender specific. My 5yo son loves cars, trucks, boats, fire trucks, getting dirty etc but he also loves having his nails painted, wearing a lil make up when myself or my daughter wear it etc. My 13yo daughter loves fashion and “girly” stuff but she loves getting dirty, riding bikes (she used to do BMX racing), playing rough etc. I don’t give a s**t. I care about my kids happiness and if they are happy having opposite “gender” toys then so be it.

160points

Danielle Renee 5 years ago

you're raising happy, confident, well adjusted children...thank you! there need to be more parents like this.

74points

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Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

My son loves robots and nerf guns etc, but he has also been "daddy" to my old cabbage patch doll for years, he walks her in a pram and reads her stories. I was surprised when trying to buy his baby a wee stroller, how geared towards girls they are! But then I realised I was being biased myself...why shouldn't he use a pink stroller? And so he does, happily :)

27points

Eliyahu Rooff 5 years ago

The interesting thing is that until about a century ago, pink was considered to be a "boy's color" that was too strong a color for girls. Sexism isn't even chronologically consistent.

21points

Tanko Chan 5 years ago

I saw a very similar scene at the supermarket (here in Brazil). The little boy wanted something pink and his mother insisted he should choose something else instead because "pink is for girls, you must pick something for boys."

11points

Elizabeth Calvert 5 years ago

I got my son his own makeup ($tree) and have painted his nails before (he somehow sat still long enough!) When I mentioned at work that I painted his nails after he saw me do mine, a female co-worker (baby boomer) got very upset and said nothing good can come of that. I ignored her. I showed the pictures to someone else that they were pink glitter, baby boomer looked disgusted and got up and left. My son went to daycare/preschool to show all his friends that he got nails painted. But it's not just polish, it's glitter! Some of the kids were confused and asked why I had done that cause painting nails and pink and glitter is only for girls. I asked why? They paused cause they didn't really know. I said anything can be for a boy or girl. There's nothing wrong with it. His teacher looked annoyed. A bunch of the boys then wanted to paint their nails lol

8points

BusLady 5 years ago

👍

6points

You_Know_What? 3 years ago

You are a role model to your children! I'm happy that you only care about the happiness of your kids.

0points

Porto DaMartinica 5 years ago

ah, be careful with that stuff, they might end up seeing others as equals and even respect them as such ! /s

0points

Ivana 5 years ago

Girls pick up on this as well. I avoided anything that could remotely be seen as feminine because I had equated femininity with inferiority. Femininity was frivolous and I wanted to be a hard-edged career woman. I was in my late 20s when it kind of hit me that I had been taught to loath part of my identity, my gender, a huge f*****g part of who I am even though I was (and still am) a strong feminist. But my younger form of feminism was adapting masculine qualities because I wanted to be a powerful woman while avoiding pink like a color matters in the slightest. Now I accept that femininity and masculinity are b******t, people are complex and have both traits and both traits have value. Compassion and leadership are both important and they are not exclusive on one or another gender.

122points

2WheelTravlr 5 years ago

This is so true. I ride motorcycles and worked in the motorsports industry, I always made a point of not dressing "girly" or wearing the kinds of riding gear that accentuated the fact that I was female. I'm so happy that the newest generation of female riders have amazing skills, no fear, and some dress like girls while others are more comfortable in guys gear. Things are slowly getting better, but they're still far from equal.

45points

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Virginia Gould 5 years ago

Yeah, I hear you. I didn't start wearing pink until I was in my 20's and admitted to myself that it's a nice color and there's nothing about it that inherently signifies weakness.

10points

Rabite 5 years ago

Over here we had some discussions about using the male and female terms when talking about people or continuing to only use the male version for (nearly) everything. There was one woman who said that she had struggled to get respect and recognition in her field so she saw it as the best compliment ever to, well, never being mentioned and e.g. being called a male programmer instead of a female programmer. This led her to hate feminists because they apparently wanted to take the respect away she earned so hard. I was quite devastated when I read this. It always makes me furious and sad when women learned that everything woman is bad and try to be "the cool girl who is not like the others" to please some idiot dudes and get a minimum of respect.

10points

nanashi 5 years ago

wow I share the same feminity=inferiority mentality growing up too! I hated playing with "girly" toys or associate myself with anything remotely feminine. still I can't see myself as one of the boys because they never want to play with a "girl" like me. I grew up without friends and a whole lot of self-loathing. having my first period made me an extremely angry person too because it pretty much "confirms" that I have a uterus thus is a woman. thankfully I grew adulthood when internet is easily within reach and I have read, learn, and reset myself. though I still don't like to call myself as a female, I'm not as negative towards feminity as I did before.

8points

Angela Yee 5 years ago (edited)

Same here. Except I was already adult when I decided to avoid all feminine things and only play male characters in video games (I still do play mostly male characters, though in many games' case it's because of the hypersexualization of the female characters)... I even had a point where I just didn't want to be female AT ALL, even considered a sex change seriously... but I grew out of it realizing that I am not alone in feeling like this, I met many women on MMORPGs who play male characters and women who , and with the internet giving better access to information on feminism (as opposed to pre-internet where I was told the "feminism = misandry" myth, and family never even mentioned it), I learned that there is hope for the future and future generations of the world to improve, for everyone of all gender/sexuality/etc.

7points

Brooklynn H 5 years ago

Me too. I didn't even allow myself to like pink until I was 31 because I wanted to prove I wasn't inferior. I disliked everything stereotypically feminine. Now I embrace it!

1point

Janis Wise 5 years ago

I completely relate. I’m 62 and have been a hard assed women all my life because I didn’t want to be a “typical girly girl”, weak and ground under the feet of men. Yet, I too came to realize I was working against my gender really. Not wanting to be a girly girl was objectifying women even worse. We can be strong, feminist & feminine, cry at sad movies & plumb the kitchen too. In order to move ahead we have to quit demonizing our own sex, have each other’s backs prove we’re made up of all these magnificent traits. I still hate pink though. Damn.

1point

Eleanor Ragsdale 5 years ago

OMG I relate to this a lot. I think that's why I have gotten the idea that if I wear makeup or short shorts or crop tops doanything that accentuates the fact that I was a girl, I will just be a girly-girl. Basic. Ordinary. I'm a smart girl and I thought that being feminine would somehow remove that. Now, I understand that this isn't how feminine expression works, but sometimes I wonder who is a certain person beyond their appearance and self-expression. Now I understand I often only see one side of some people. But I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of wearing crop tops, short shorts, or makeup.

1point

Michał Jastrzębski 5 years ago

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Renard Bansale 5 years ago

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Aria Whitaker 5 years ago

This is spot on and so, so sad. Even more sad: even after this clear-as-day explanation, there will STILL be those that will dismiss and deny this, so it probably wont be changing anytime soon. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

79points

Angela Yee 5 years ago

Sadly true. But it does help a little to bring awareness, then at least some families change over time. Hopefully that eventually would make it improved in the future, even if it's pretty far off. (Sorry had a duplicate comment earlier)

23points

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Kathy Baylis 5 years ago

Eventually the tide will turn—-and this is a good indicator that it has started to—-and the knuckledraggers will either die off (first preference), or skulk back under their rocks where they belong—-permanently (second preference, as long as it is permanent). Society (and that includes the media and politicians) should put misogynists, and all the other negative “-ists”, for that matter, on the same level as pedophiles and other social undesirables. Turning them into social pariahs can help bring an end to encouraging their behavior.

9points

Monika Soffronow 5 years ago

True, but for teachers and other professionals who work with children it is NOT acceptable that they claim ignorance on this. We think we have come a long way with equality but all we have done is to scratch the surface. Maybe we should ditch the word "feminist" and replace it with "anti-sexism" to include both genders? I say that even as I cannot even begin to comprehend women, even young ones, who in this day and age say that they are not feminists. Do they not want to be allowed to vote) Do they not want to be able to study, open a bank account or get a job without their legal male guardian putting his signature in writing in order to allow it?

6points

Angela Yee 5 years ago

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0points

Cesi Baca 5 years ago

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Foxxy 5 years ago (edited)

160points

Danielle Renee 5 years ago

you're raising happy, confident, well adjusted children...thank you! there need to be more parents like this.

74points

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Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

27points

Eliyahu Rooff 5 years ago

The interesting thing is that until about a century ago, pink was considered to be a "boy's color" that was too strong a color for girls. Sexism isn't even chronologically consistent.

21points

Tanko Chan 5 years ago

11points

Elizabeth Calvert 5 years ago

8points

BusLady 5 years ago

👍

6points

You_Know_What? 3 years ago

You are a role model to your children! I'm happy that you only care about the happiness of your kids.

0points

Porto DaMartinica 5 years ago

ah, be careful with that stuff, they might end up seeing others as equals and even respect them as such ! /s

0points

Ivana 5 years ago

122points

2WheelTravlr 5 years ago

45points

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Virginia Gould 5 years ago

Yeah, I hear you. I didn't start wearing pink until I was in my 20's and admitted to myself that it's a nice color and there's nothing about it that inherently signifies weakness.

10points

Rabite 5 years ago

10points

nanashi 5 years ago

8points

Angela Yee 5 years ago (edited)

7points

Brooklynn H 5 years ago

Me too. I didn't even allow myself to like pink until I was 31 because I wanted to prove I wasn't inferior. I disliked everything stereotypically feminine. Now I embrace it!

1point