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Woman Upset About BF’s Tribute To His Late Dog As It Would Ruin Their Apartment Esthetic
Interview With Expert
Losing a pet is like losing a family member; you never truly get over it. We wish our pets could live forever. Or at least as long as we do so we don’t have to say goodbye to them too soon. Some people choose to commemorate their furry best friends: I chose to tattoo the likeness of my beagle, for example.
Other people opt for physical mementos, like a picture. But this guy angered his girlfriend when he chose to remember his late dog by commissioning a flat-screen TV-size portrait of his doggo. As she didn’t have an emotional attachment to the dog, she saw it as an eyesore in their shared apartment.
We reached out to designer and artist Natalie Papier. She’s the author of Start With the Art, a book about decorating any room on any budget, and she kindly agreed to weigh in on this story for Bored Panda. Read her recommendations on the best ways to commemorate a pet below!
More info: Natalie Papier | Book | Instagram | Facebook
RELATED:
A man lost his beloved pet and wanted a way to commemorate him with a portrait
Image credits: Diego Alejandro López / pexels (not the actual photo)
But his girlfriend was against a huge pet potrait hanging in their shared apartment
Image credits: Donald Tong / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: almondgirl101
Designer Natalie Papier tells Bored Panda it’s important to compromise on the decor of shared spaces
Interior designer Natalie Papier emphasizes that it’s generally hard to find a spot for a huge, sentimental photo in a home. What’s more, getting everyone to agree with it might be even harder. She suggests hanging the portrait in a place where fewer people might see it or include it among other smaller photographs and portraits.
“One recommendation is to consider hanging it in a less public space like your bedroom so it still has a personal place for the piece but doesn’t need to be front and center in your home decor,” she says.
“I also really like including sentimental pieces in a gallery wall format that holds a variety of memories and art that brings you joy. This can be a really [great] way to incorporate pieces that you both resonate with!”
When couples disagree about decorating their shared space, communication is the most important thing. “I like to encourage my clients to discuss amongst themselves first about who feels strongly about what,” Natalie says. “Maybe one party feels incredibly strongly about the couch selection but not necessarily the space’s color palette; comfort over aesthetics, for example.”
When working with her clients, Papier usually has them create a Pinterest board to see what visual design elements each person likes. “It’s a great way to see if you have any overlapping common preferences and/or discuss pre-purchasing things you might not like and why.”
“Better to get that conversation out of the way before you do anything drastic! Makes for a much smoother process for all,” Napier notes. “It’s ok to agree to disagree with each other though, too. Just make sure you throw each other a bone in the process so everyone is content in the end with the results.”
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels (not the actual photo)
There are other ways to commemorate a beloved pet: a memorial service or an outdoor memorial, for example
The girlfriend in this story is not heartless; she understands how difficult the dog’s passing was on her boyfriend. But she’s drawing the line at a huge picture of a dog she has no emotional attachment to being the centerpiece of her home decor. Just like she mentioned, there are other ways to commemorate a pet with physical memorabilia.
Pet Portraits Company has some suggestions as well. They claim that it makes sense to put pet portrait(s) in places where they are or used to spend lots of time. This includes their bed and bowls. Another way to incorporate pet portraits in home decor is to dedicate a ‘pet nook’ to them. The couple can make a corner of the home a place to showcase toys, beds, and other memorabilia.
There are also other ways to commemorate one’s deceased pet. Some people choose to host a memorial service for their pets as part of the grieving process. It can be a chance for the owners and close friends to share memories and say final farewells to their four-legged best friend.
Others can choose to make an outdoor memorial for their pet. A great example is this box of tennis balls on a beach that an owner made after their beloved dog passed away. “In memory of Meg,” the memorial reads. “Please take a ball and enjoy a game with your dog in memory of our beautiful girl. Meg loved the beach and loved life. And we love and miss her. So much!”
While a pet portrait is a much more physical and constant reminder of your deceased pet, the couple, in this case, can try compromising and choosing one of the options above. If the boyfriend, however, is set on the giant portrait, the girlfriend can use this as an opportunity to make a “mine” decor choice of her own. That way, both get a decor item they desperately want but can’t have.
Image credits: FOX ^.ᆽ.^= ∫ / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people sided with the girlfriend: “It’s a shared home and he needs to find a middle ground”
Others, however, thought she was being insensitive and controlling
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What do you think ?
Rahul Pawa 2 days ago (edited)
My first thought is, "how important is it?". Like, how important is NOT having the giant picture up to OP? I get it's not what they would do. But is this really worth possibly arguing over? Doesn't seem like it to me. Let the guy have his picture of the dog up. Revisit the idea again in a few months after he has had time to grieve. A picture hanging on the wall isn't permanent.
Tiger 2 days ago
Right?! Denying the guy the right to hang up his own picture in his own home of a beloved pet, no matter how big it is, just because it doesn’t fit in with your “personal aesthetic” seems pretty harsh to me. Screw aesthetics. Life and loved ones are more important than making sure every piece of decor matches a theme.
Load More Replies...
ॐBoyGanesh 2 days ago (edited)
As soon as someone says, with such profundity, they’ve a certain aesthetic they prefer to decorate themselves and their homes, I can no longer give a non-biased opinion. I get the importance of decorating and even hiring designers to create one’s space. But to me one should be able to incorporate any statement piece of any size somewhere within their space if said piece is important to them. Side note: my brother was in serious long term relationship in the 90s & was considering having his SO move into the home he owns. She said “one of the first things to go is that tacky Seinfeld poster.” He wasn’t sure if the was the “one of the first” or being territorial, but he never pursued cohabitation & eventually it fizzled out. It has nothing to do with the actual poster. He didn’t even care about it. He said he would make compromises, but just couldn’t abide by demands that seemed non-negotiable or wouldn’t be discussed.
Grape Walls of Ire 2 days ago
I think he should hang 10 giant posters of his dead dog and dump this a*****e of a girlfriend.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
My ex-boyfriend and I had a lot of problems in our 23 years together, but the one thing I will give him is that, while he was not a "pet person" at first, he came to fully understand how much my animals meant to me (and by the end he was totally a Cat Dad.) My heart-dog, Ember the GSD, died in 2010, and then my beloved gray kitty Wintressia died in 2018. My ex had been with me since 2000, so he knew and loved them both well by then. He full-on built a mini-shrine using a small endtable as the base, put my pets' urns with their ashes, their clay pawprints, my cat's favorite bowl, etc. into the shrine. I was very touched that he understood that my pets were my family members and took the time to make something to honor them and what they meant to me. I can't understand how OP could so callously disregard their partner's wish to have a memorial to their family member, even if it's a bit too large for OP's tastes. Maybe the bf just needs it up for a period of mourning, not forever. shrine_win...3260ad.jpg 
Robert Beveridge 2 days ago
My flat screen TV is 24". That'd be pretty big for something that isn't an Iron Maiden poster, but it wouldn't shock me if I walked into a room. (especially if the dog looked like Eddie). Point being "flat-screen TV size" is vague, perhaps intentionally so.
Grape Walls of Ire 2 days ago (edited)
This is the best comment yet. Forget bananas - the internet should use Iron Maiden posters for scale!
Load More Replies... Paul Sloan 2 days ago
When my cat, of 18, died my vet sent to me inked nose prints of my boy. I took the nose prints to a tattoo artist who turned the print into my first and only tattoo. My wife is not a fan of tattoos but she is very understanding, she knew what I needed to heal.
meeeeeeeeeeee 2 days ago
What a brat. There's not a chance I'd live with some c**t who thinks they alone own the decorating
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 days ago
No way to tell. How giant is giant? OP never specifies the size. One of the responses says 50". Is that "giant"? Yeah IMO that's pretty giant. But OP didn't say 50" and the person who put this together deceptively used stock photos to make this article. That picture of the living room, that's stock. he person who put this together is being deceptive. My interpretation is there is not enough actual information to determine anything.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
I looked back at OP's posts on Reddit and she never once commented on the original post. She has some other posts and comments here and there, but nothing clarifying the photo's size. "Flat screen TV-sized" is ludicrous because FSTVs don't come in just one size only. XD
Load More Replies...
Orysha 2 days ago
I wonder if her boyfriend decided if their aparment aesthectics would be better without OP in it.
Debby Keir 2 days ago
I can think of a better way - send your dog photo to one of those pet artists who do 'renaissance' style pet portraits, and then you have a 'proper' painting to hang on the wall.
sturmwesen 2 days ago
She could always offer a edited version that fits more with her 'look" or a painting. And flat screen is not a size.
Anna Drever 18 hours ago
When our dog died last year we got a normal sized photo of him in a tasteful frame and it sits where he can be clearly seen but it doesn’t dominate the room. We’ve lost 4 dogs and 5 cats over the years and I can’t imagine have tv sized photos of all of them on the wall. We loved them but no.
LuckyTanuki 1 day ago
This feels like sexism... If the roles were reversed and it was the dude saying no to an important picture of her deceased pet, I'm 100% positive all the comments would be against him saying yta. How can you think otherwise... She gets to decorate the apartment and said he gives her complete control, but when it comes to something important to him, he can't even have a single unreasonable thing? How can anyone stand up for this lady... This is why I despise reddit with a burning passion.
K. LNU 2 days ago
As a dog lover, I have pictures of the dogs in my life; think collages. Nothing huge (do wish OP had specified how big the picture was and not just "flat screen" as a reference) - one of my friends has an 80" flat screen. Now that would be a bit much. But she also needs to let him grieve! However, she did have me thinking AH after the "specific aesthetics" comment.
Mark Childers 2 days ago
My sister has a picture like this of her dog. Two things, though. First, she got it when he was still alive. Now that he's gone, she has it hung in her bedroom out of sight for anyone else. It's not a good idea in a shared living space. Something like that also takes up a huge amount of wall space, which may make it harder in an apartment than a house.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
I had similar issues with my wife from time to time, but she was the one with the "certain" aesthetic sense since I'm mostly oblivious to the visual aspects of my surroundings 🤷♂️. Everytime such an issue came up I'd look at her seriously and say "Really? Is that what you want to live with on that wall for the rest of eternity?" And that would start the discussion of some sort of compromise. Worked every time. OP's BF needs help to get through and past his grieving. A huge picture of a dead dog staring at him every day isn't going to help.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
You've never lost a beloved pet, have you? Some animals are beyond pets; they are family members. And sometimes a gigantic photo on the wall of one's "dead dog" in happier times is EXACTLY what one needs to help them grieve. You don't get to dictate what does or doesn't help someone ELSE'S grieving process. I have two "shrines" to my German Shepherd Ember and my gray cat Wintressia in my bedroom. I have the ashes/pawprints/photos of my "dead dog and cat" staring at me every day and I got through the grieving process just fine. I also have a little memorial to my dad in the front room with some pics and his ashes in it (he died in 2021) - so I have "pictures of my dead dad staring at me every day" and what do you know, it helped me grieve! And wow, the line you use on your wife to force her into a compromise - "Is that what you want to live with on that wall for the rest of eternity?" - because once you put something on a wall, you can't ever remove it, right? Okay.
Load More Replies... Rahul Pawa 2 days ago (edited)
My first thought is, "how important is it?". Like, how important is NOT having the giant picture up to OP? I get it's not what they would do. But is this really worth possibly arguing over? Doesn't seem like it to me. Let the guy have his picture of the dog up. Revisit the idea again in a few months after he has had time to grieve. A picture hanging on the wall isn't permanent.
Tiger 2 days ago
Right?! Denying the guy the right to hang up his own picture in his own home of a beloved pet, no matter how big it is, just because it doesn’t fit in with your “personal aesthetic” seems pretty harsh to me. Screw aesthetics. Life and loved ones are more important than making sure every piece of decor matches a theme.
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 2 days ago (edited)
As soon as someone says, with such profundity, they’ve a certain aesthetic they prefer to decorate themselves and their homes, I can no longer give a non-biased opinion. I get the importance of decorating and even hiring designers to create one’s space. But to me one should be able to incorporate any statement piece of any size somewhere within their space if said piece is important to them. Side note: my brother was in serious long term relationship in the 90s & was considering having his SO move into the home he owns. She said “one of the first things to go is that tacky Seinfeld poster.” He wasn’t sure if the was the “one of the first” or being territorial, but he never pursued cohabitation & eventually it fizzled out. It has nothing to do with the actual poster. He didn’t even care about it. He said he would make compromises, but just couldn’t abide by demands that seemed non-negotiable or wouldn’t be discussed.
Grape Walls of Ire 2 days ago
I think he should hang 10 giant posters of his dead dog and dump this a*****e of a girlfriend.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
My ex-boyfriend and I had a lot of problems in our 23 years together, but the one thing I will give him is that, while he was not a "pet person" at first, he came to fully understand how much my animals meant to me (and by the end he was totally a Cat Dad.) My heart-dog, Ember the GSD, died in 2010, and then my beloved gray kitty Wintressia died in 2018. My ex had been with me since 2000, so he knew and loved them both well by then. He full-on built a mini-shrine using a small endtable as the base, put my pets' urns with their ashes, their clay pawprints, my cat's favorite bowl, etc. into the shrine. I was very touched that he understood that my pets were my family members and took the time to make something to honor them and what they meant to me. I can't understand how OP could so callously disregard their partner's wish to have a memorial to their family member, even if it's a bit too large for OP's tastes. Maybe the bf just needs it up for a period of mourning, not forever. shrine_win...3260ad.jpg
Robert Beveridge 2 days ago
My flat screen TV is 24". That'd be pretty big for something that isn't an Iron Maiden poster, but it wouldn't shock me if I walked into a room. (especially if the dog looked like Eddie). Point being "flat-screen TV size" is vague, perhaps intentionally so.
Grape Walls of Ire 2 days ago (edited)
This is the best comment yet. Forget bananas - the internet should use Iron Maiden posters for scale!
Load More Replies... Paul Sloan 2 days ago
When my cat, of 18, died my vet sent to me inked nose prints of my boy. I took the nose prints to a tattoo artist who turned the print into my first and only tattoo. My wife is not a fan of tattoos but she is very understanding, she knew what I needed to heal.
meeeeeeeeeeee 2 days ago
What a brat. There's not a chance I'd live with some c**t who thinks they alone own the decorating
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 days ago
No way to tell. How giant is giant? OP never specifies the size. One of the responses says 50". Is that "giant"? Yeah IMO that's pretty giant. But OP didn't say 50" and the person who put this together deceptively used stock photos to make this article. That picture of the living room, that's stock. he person who put this together is being deceptive. My interpretation is there is not enough actual information to determine anything.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
I looked back at OP's posts on Reddit and she never once commented on the original post. She has some other posts and comments here and there, but nothing clarifying the photo's size. "Flat screen TV-sized" is ludicrous because FSTVs don't come in just one size only. XD
Load More Replies... Orysha 2 days ago
I wonder if her boyfriend decided if their aparment aesthectics would be better without OP in it.
Debby Keir 2 days ago
I can think of a better way - send your dog photo to one of those pet artists who do 'renaissance' style pet portraits, and then you have a 'proper' painting to hang on the wall.
sturmwesen 2 days ago
She could always offer a edited version that fits more with her 'look" or a painting. And flat screen is not a size.
Anna Drever 18 hours ago
When our dog died last year we got a normal sized photo of him in a tasteful frame and it sits where he can be clearly seen but it doesn’t dominate the room. We’ve lost 4 dogs and 5 cats over the years and I can’t imagine have tv sized photos of all of them on the wall. We loved them but no.
LuckyTanuki 1 day ago
This feels like sexism... If the roles were reversed and it was the dude saying no to an important picture of her deceased pet, I'm 100% positive all the comments would be against him saying yta. How can you think otherwise... She gets to decorate the apartment and said he gives her complete control, but when it comes to something important to him, he can't even have a single unreasonable thing? How can anyone stand up for this lady... This is why I despise reddit with a burning passion.
K. LNU 2 days ago
As a dog lover, I have pictures of the dogs in my life; think collages. Nothing huge (do wish OP had specified how big the picture was and not just "flat screen" as a reference) - one of my friends has an 80" flat screen. Now that would be a bit much. But she also needs to let him grieve! However, she did have me thinking AH after the "specific aesthetics" comment.
Mark Childers 2 days ago
My sister has a picture like this of her dog. Two things, though. First, she got it when he was still alive. Now that he's gone, she has it hung in her bedroom out of sight for anyone else. It's not a good idea in a shared living space. Something like that also takes up a huge amount of wall space, which may make it harder in an apartment than a house.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
I had similar issues with my wife from time to time, but she was the one with the "certain" aesthetic sense since I'm mostly oblivious to the visual aspects of my surroundings 🤷♂️. Everytime such an issue came up I'd look at her seriously and say "Really? Is that what you want to live with on that wall for the rest of eternity?" And that would start the discussion of some sort of compromise. Worked every time. OP's BF needs help to get through and past his grieving. A huge picture of a dead dog staring at him every day isn't going to help.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
You've never lost a beloved pet, have you? Some animals are beyond pets; they are family members. And sometimes a gigantic photo on the wall of one's "dead dog" in happier times is EXACTLY what one needs to help them grieve. You don't get to dictate what does or doesn't help someone ELSE'S grieving process. I have two "shrines" to my German Shepherd Ember and my gray cat Wintressia in my bedroom. I have the ashes/pawprints/photos of my "dead dog and cat" staring at me every day and I got through the grieving process just fine. I also have a little memorial to my dad in the front room with some pics and his ashes in it (he died in 2021) - so I have "pictures of my dead dad staring at me every day" and what do you know, it helped me grieve! And wow, the line you use on your wife to force her into a compromise - "Is that what you want to live with on that wall for the rest of eternity?" - because once you put something on a wall, you can't ever remove it, right? Okay.
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