Woman Upset About BF’s Tribute To His Late Dog As It Would Ruin Their Apartment Esthetic
Interview With ExpertLosing a pet is like losing a family member; you never truly get over it. We wish our pets could live forever. Or at least as long as we do so we don’t have to say goodbye to them too soon. Some people choose to commemorate their furry best friends: I chose to tattoo the likeness of my beagle, for example.
Other people opt for physical mementos, like a picture. But this guy angered his girlfriend when he chose to remember his late dog by commissioning a flat-screen TV-size portrait of his doggo. As she didn’t have an emotional attachment to the dog, she saw it as an eyesore in their shared apartment.
We reached out to designer and artist Natalie Papier. She’s the author of Start With the Art, a book about decorating any room on any budget, and she kindly agreed to weigh in on this story for Bored Panda. Read her recommendations on the best ways to commemorate a pet below!
More info: Natalie Papier | Book | Instagram | Facebook
A man lost his beloved pet and wanted a way to commemorate him with a portrait
Image credits: Diego Alejandro López / pexels (not the actual photo)
But his girlfriend was against a huge pet potrait hanging in their shared apartment
Image credits: Donald Tong / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: almondgirl101
Designer Natalie Papier tells Bored Panda it’s important to compromise on the decor of shared spaces
Interior designer Natalie Papier emphasizes that it’s generally hard to find a spot for a huge, sentimental photo in a home. What’s more, getting everyone to agree with it might be even harder. She suggests hanging the portrait in a place where fewer people might see it or include it among other smaller photographs and portraits.
“One recommendation is to consider hanging it in a less public space like your bedroom so it still has a personal place for the piece but doesn’t need to be front and center in your home decor,” she says.
“I also really like including sentimental pieces in a gallery wall format that holds a variety of memories and art that brings you joy. This can be a really [great] way to incorporate pieces that you both resonate with!”
When couples disagree about decorating their shared space, communication is the most important thing. “I like to encourage my clients to discuss amongst themselves first about who feels strongly about what,” Natalie says. “Maybe one party feels incredibly strongly about the couch selection but not necessarily the space’s color palette; comfort over aesthetics, for example.”
When working with her clients, Papier usually has them create a Pinterest board to see what visual design elements each person likes. “It’s a great way to see if you have any overlapping common preferences and/or discuss pre-purchasing things you might not like and why.”
“Better to get that conversation out of the way before you do anything drastic! Makes for a much smoother process for all,” Napier notes. “It’s ok to agree to disagree with each other though, too. Just make sure you throw each other a bone in the process so everyone is content in the end with the results.”
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels (not the actual photo)
There are other ways to commemorate a beloved pet: a memorial service or an outdoor memorial, for example
The girlfriend in this story is not heartless; she understands how difficult the dog’s passing was on her boyfriend. But she’s drawing the line at a huge picture of a dog she has no emotional attachment to being the centerpiece of her home decor. Just like she mentioned, there are other ways to commemorate a pet with physical memorabilia.
Pet Portraits Company has some suggestions as well. They claim that it makes sense to put pet portrait(s) in places where they are or used to spend lots of time. This includes their bed and bowls. Another way to incorporate pet portraits in home decor is to dedicate a ‘pet nook’ to them. The couple can make a corner of the home a place to showcase toys, beds, and other memorabilia.
There are also other ways to commemorate one’s deceased pet. Some people choose to host a memorial service for their pets as part of the grieving process. It can be a chance for the owners and close friends to share memories and say final farewells to their four-legged best friend.
Others can choose to make an outdoor memorial for their pet. A great example is this box of tennis balls on a beach that an owner made after their beloved dog passed away. “In memory of Meg,” the memorial reads. “Please take a ball and enjoy a game with your dog in memory of our beautiful girl. Meg loved the beach and loved life. And we love and miss her. So much!”
While a pet portrait is a much more physical and constant reminder of your deceased pet, the couple, in this case, can try compromising and choosing one of the options above. If the boyfriend, however, is set on the giant portrait, the girlfriend can use this as an opportunity to make a “mine” decor choice of her own. That way, both get a decor item they desperately want but can’t have.
Image credits: FOX ^.ᆽ.^= ∫ / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people sided with the girlfriend: “It’s a shared home and he needs to find a middle ground”
Others, however, thought she was being insensitive and controlling
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My first thought is, "how important is it?". Like, how important is NOT having the giant picture up to OP? I get it's not what they would do. But is this really worth possibly arguing over? Doesn't seem like it to me. Let the guy have his picture of the dog up. Revisit the idea again in a few months after he has had time to grieve. A picture hanging on the wall isn't permanent.
Right?! Denying the guy the right to hang up his own picture in his own home of a beloved pet, no matter how big it is, just because it doesn’t fit in with your “personal aesthetic” seems pretty harsh to me. Screw aesthetics. Life and loved ones are more important than making sure every piece of decor matches a theme.
Load More Replies...As soon as someone says, with such profundity, they’ve a certain aesthetic they prefer to decorate themselves and their homes, I can no longer give a non-biased opinion. I get the importance of decorating and even hiring designers to create one’s space. But to me one should be able to incorporate any statement piece of any size somewhere within their space if said piece is important to them. Side note: my brother was in serious long term relationship in the 90s & was considering having his SO move into the home he owns. She said “one of the first things to go is that tacky Seinfeld poster.” He wasn’t sure if the was the “one of the first” or being territorial, but he never pursued cohabitation & eventually it fizzled out. It has nothing to do with the actual poster. He didn’t even care about it. He said he would make compromises, but just couldn’t abide by demands that seemed non-negotiable or wouldn’t be discussed.
I think he should hang 10 giant posters of his dead dog and dump this a*****e of a girlfriend.
My ex-boyfriend and I had a lot of problems in our 23 years together, but the one thing I will give him is that, while he was not a "pet person" at first, he came to fully understand how much my animals meant to me (and by the end he was totally a Cat Dad.) My heart-dog, Ember the GSD, died in 2010, and then my beloved gray kitty Wintressia died in 2018. My ex had been with me since 2000, so he knew and loved them both well by then. He full-on built a mini-shrine using a small endtable as the base, put my pets' urns with their ashes, their clay pawprints, my cat's favorite bowl, etc. into the shrine. I was very touched that he understood that my pets were my family members and took the time to make something to honor them and what they meant to me. I can't understand how OP could so callously disregard their partner's wish to have a memorial to their family member, even if it's a bit too large for OP's tastes. Maybe the bf just needs it up for a period of mourning, not forever. shrine_win...3260ad.jpg
My flat screen TV is 24". That'd be pretty big for something that isn't an Iron Maiden poster, but it wouldn't shock me if I walked into a room. (especially if the dog looked like Eddie). Point being "flat-screen TV size" is vague, perhaps intentionally so.
This is the best comment yet. Forget bananas - the internet should use Iron Maiden posters for scale!
Load More Replies...What a brat. There's not a chance I'd live with some c**t who thinks they alone own the decorating
When my cat, of 18, died my vet sent to me inked nose prints of my boy. I took the nose prints to a tattoo artist who turned the print into my first and only tattoo. My wife is not a fan of tattoos but she is very understanding, she knew what I needed to heal.
No way to tell. How giant is giant? OP never specifies the size. One of the responses says 50". Is that "giant"? Yeah IMO that's pretty giant. But OP didn't say 50" and the person who put this together deceptively used stock photos to make this article. That picture of the living room, that's stock. he person who put this together is being deceptive. My interpretation is there is not enough actual information to determine anything.
I looked back at OP's posts on Reddit and she never once commented on the original post. She has some other posts and comments here and there, but nothing clarifying the photo's size. "Flat screen TV-sized" is ludicrous because FSTVs don't come in just one size only. XD
Load More Replies...I wonder if her boyfriend decided if their aparment aesthectics would be better without OP in it.
This feels like sexism... If the roles were reversed and it was the dude saying no to an important picture of her deceased pet, I'm 100% positive all the comments would be against him saying yta. How can you think otherwise... She gets to decorate the apartment and said he gives her complete control, but when it comes to something important to him, he can't even have a single unreasonable thing? How can anyone stand up for this lady... This is why I despise reddit with a burning passion.
Considering she has decorated the entire apartment and seemingly without his input I agree. If the roles were reversed and he controlled the aesthetic of the apartment and wouldn't allow her to hang one picture regardless of size everyone would be screaming blue murder about him being controlling and abusive. Let him have this one thing op!!!
Load More Replies...My first thought is, "how important is it?". Like, how important is NOT having the giant picture up to OP? I get it's not what they would do. But is this really worth possibly arguing over? Doesn't seem like it to me. Let the guy have his picture of the dog up. Revisit the idea again in a few months after he has had time to grieve. A picture hanging on the wall isn't permanent.
Right?! Denying the guy the right to hang up his own picture in his own home of a beloved pet, no matter how big it is, just because it doesn’t fit in with your “personal aesthetic” seems pretty harsh to me. Screw aesthetics. Life and loved ones are more important than making sure every piece of decor matches a theme.
Load More Replies...As soon as someone says, with such profundity, they’ve a certain aesthetic they prefer to decorate themselves and their homes, I can no longer give a non-biased opinion. I get the importance of decorating and even hiring designers to create one’s space. But to me one should be able to incorporate any statement piece of any size somewhere within their space if said piece is important to them. Side note: my brother was in serious long term relationship in the 90s & was considering having his SO move into the home he owns. She said “one of the first things to go is that tacky Seinfeld poster.” He wasn’t sure if the was the “one of the first” or being territorial, but he never pursued cohabitation & eventually it fizzled out. It has nothing to do with the actual poster. He didn’t even care about it. He said he would make compromises, but just couldn’t abide by demands that seemed non-negotiable or wouldn’t be discussed.
I think he should hang 10 giant posters of his dead dog and dump this a*****e of a girlfriend.
My ex-boyfriend and I had a lot of problems in our 23 years together, but the one thing I will give him is that, while he was not a "pet person" at first, he came to fully understand how much my animals meant to me (and by the end he was totally a Cat Dad.) My heart-dog, Ember the GSD, died in 2010, and then my beloved gray kitty Wintressia died in 2018. My ex had been with me since 2000, so he knew and loved them both well by then. He full-on built a mini-shrine using a small endtable as the base, put my pets' urns with their ashes, their clay pawprints, my cat's favorite bowl, etc. into the shrine. I was very touched that he understood that my pets were my family members and took the time to make something to honor them and what they meant to me. I can't understand how OP could so callously disregard their partner's wish to have a memorial to their family member, even if it's a bit too large for OP's tastes. Maybe the bf just needs it up for a period of mourning, not forever. shrine_win...3260ad.jpg
My flat screen TV is 24". That'd be pretty big for something that isn't an Iron Maiden poster, but it wouldn't shock me if I walked into a room. (especially if the dog looked like Eddie). Point being "flat-screen TV size" is vague, perhaps intentionally so.
This is the best comment yet. Forget bananas - the internet should use Iron Maiden posters for scale!
Load More Replies...What a brat. There's not a chance I'd live with some c**t who thinks they alone own the decorating
When my cat, of 18, died my vet sent to me inked nose prints of my boy. I took the nose prints to a tattoo artist who turned the print into my first and only tattoo. My wife is not a fan of tattoos but she is very understanding, she knew what I needed to heal.
No way to tell. How giant is giant? OP never specifies the size. One of the responses says 50". Is that "giant"? Yeah IMO that's pretty giant. But OP didn't say 50" and the person who put this together deceptively used stock photos to make this article. That picture of the living room, that's stock. he person who put this together is being deceptive. My interpretation is there is not enough actual information to determine anything.
I looked back at OP's posts on Reddit and she never once commented on the original post. She has some other posts and comments here and there, but nothing clarifying the photo's size. "Flat screen TV-sized" is ludicrous because FSTVs don't come in just one size only. XD
Load More Replies...I wonder if her boyfriend decided if their aparment aesthectics would be better without OP in it.
This feels like sexism... If the roles were reversed and it was the dude saying no to an important picture of her deceased pet, I'm 100% positive all the comments would be against him saying yta. How can you think otherwise... She gets to decorate the apartment and said he gives her complete control, but when it comes to something important to him, he can't even have a single unreasonable thing? How can anyone stand up for this lady... This is why I despise reddit with a burning passion.
Considering she has decorated the entire apartment and seemingly without his input I agree. If the roles were reversed and he controlled the aesthetic of the apartment and wouldn't allow her to hang one picture regardless of size everyone would be screaming blue murder about him being controlling and abusive. Let him have this one thing op!!!
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