Believe it or not, each one of us has a slightly different, unique set of brains (even identical twins, who have the same genes but with tiny differences). Naturally, that means sometimes some of us might have a much harder time adjusting their emotional capacity to fulfill the expectations of others.

Confronted by a similar dilemma after his girlfriend expressed a lack of affection from his side, the author of this r/confessions story — admittedly, a “very reserved” person — decided to apply the same set of tricks that kept his dog happy. Treats, cuddles, the whole shebang. After all, it was his good girl he confessed to loving the most — and we ain’t talking about the significant other.

Seeing that man’s best friend aren’t that different from us — we all like snacks and belly rubs, don’t we — the boyfriend’s approach worked like a charm. In disbelief over how easy it was to roll over and steal a few tricks from his dog’s playbook, the author decided to share his success story to see what others might have to say about it.

Man’s best friend can teach us about love, compassion, and true happiness

Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)

Occasionally, dogs can also help to solve our relationship problems — even if it means you’ll have to start treating your partner like one

Image credits: THIS_IS_4P**N

Dog owners often say that our four-legged, bone-chewing friends can do no harm. Yes, they are loyal until their final breath (remember the legend of Hachikō?), they get excited whenever we get back home and, according to a new study, they make for a better and happier relationship. Yet, don’t get too excited because another study showed that almost 40% of all dog owners are more likely to choose their doggos over their partners. Which makes more sense after reading the author’s confession.

Called “deceptive affection,” a term used to describe sweet nothings some may choose to whisper in their lover’s ear to keep the relationship afloat, it’s a phenomenon that is not entirely uncommon. Surprisingly, studies show that on a regular basis, long-term partners in stable relationships do this more than three times per week on average. And the reason for that is simple: they are aware of the benefits of exaggerated affection, same as dog owners are aware of the benefits of doggy snacks.

Dr. Madeleine Holland, an assistant professor of instruction in the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Texas, studied this universal phenomenon extensively. Turns out, there’s a direct link between a partner’s attractiveness and the frequency one deploys deceptive affection to keep them happy.

“The idea that something that we take as ‘always good’, such as showing affection to our partners, can actually be much more complicated,” Holland told Bored Panda, explaining her reasoning for doing the research. “Understanding more about those types of phenomena leaves more room for understanding the nuances in relationships that are so complex — such as those that we form with romantic partners.”

Not everyone agreed with the way author chose to fix his problems

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Contrary to what some might think about a person who deliberately chooses to exaggerate their affection to win their partner back, Holland thinks that deceptive affection can go both ways. “You might be able to suggest that these people are invested in their partners and care for the health and longevity of their relationship (both benefitting the self and the other).” She also reminds us that it’s never wise to “impute the characteristics of a person based on a single behavior.”

For those who have trouble meeting their partner’s expectations — whether it’s a lack of affection or sweet but rarely deployed affirmations — Holland suggests starting with an honest conversation — a pillar on which relationships are built. “Oftentimes we ‘miss’ the signals that our partners may be sending us to show us affection (for example, maybe they took out the trash when they noticed you were working late, and you just didn’t see it or didn’t understand this as an act of love),” Holland explained.

“The best advice there is to have an honest conversation about how each person in the relationship expresses and receives affection.” So before you go ahead and start to treat your partner like a Pomeranian, remember no amount of doggie snacks or belly rubs will fix your relationship problems better than a sincere, (emotionally) naked pillow talk.

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