There are people who take up learning sign language because they have a couple classes with a deaf person. What’s the evil plan there? Five months in, and she’s bringing him to the family, it makes a lot of sense for him to make an effort.

I think OP NEEDS better friends. At this point Jon sounds respectful, and empathetic. Her other friends don't bother with her brother after years? Wow.

The single bloke "warning her" of all the "dangers" Jon poses isn't a nice guy, he's a Nice® Guy™. One of those who thinks women are like vending machines that once he's put enough NiceGuy℠ Tokens© in she'll blast away his mountain sized pile of psoriasis flakes with a leaf blower, hitch her skirt up, then hop the f**k on and ride him like he's a stolen Kawasaki.

After I had been dating my boyfriend for three months his 1 year old niece preferred me to most people. We have been together 15 years, married nearly 10. Sometimes you click with the family as much as the partner.

I worked with a Bulgarian woman and one of our regular customers was Bulgarian. I learned greeting, a few phrases, and enough for work and a light chat... it's just taking an interest in other people. (Funny story on that: Someone came in for an interview and I noticed she was from Bulgaria. I reached out my hand to shake and greeted her in Bulgarian. She pulled her hand back, looked at my name tag (average American name), looked at my face (I am BROWN), and was totally confused. I almost burst out laughing, but explained how I knew some Bulgarian. For her part, she said my pronunciation was really good! )

The "Best friend" wants her. My assumption is that Instead of growing and pair and asking her out when she is single. He was too cowardly, and now he is projecting all this "manipulation and red flags" that literally personify him and all his actions in sabotaging this good relationship she has. Worm tongue a*s behavior... She has to move away from that "friend".

Oh s**t, ditch those bitches. I remember being in a similar situation. My middle school friend's brother was deaf and I made another deaf friend at camp. I started learning ASL to talk to them. It's a lot of fun discovering communication with a deaf person. You learn a lot about another culture and yourself. It's both highly personally and socially rewarding, but also, since you already speak the language and are just learning movements that are associated, it's actually pretty easy. Eventually it just becomes muscle memory and it's satisfying in a hard to define way. Everything about the dude sounds great. But those "friends" sound like toxic bitches that never left their home town and only want "normal" people around. Dump them!

No one asks, but have any of these long-time friends learned ASL?

In 15 years, OP and Jon will be celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary while her 5 "friends" will have at least 10 divorces amongst themselves because none of them could find a healthy relationship with the help of a GPS, a flashlight, or a giant clue. Lol.

Your friends are thieves of joy - so I'll remember to use it.

Obviously the "guy friend" has a crush on her. She's clearly too immature to be in an adult relationship though, if she can't make a decision for herself and must run to her friends to get some kind of consensus. Her friends sound absolutely worthless and maybe should have been left behind in high school.

Have a feeling the friends are a worried she's going to leave them. They are still children and are all learning about relationships. This bf is one step ahead of the game by upping his game. Good on him for learning signing, it's a still that will hold him in good stead in life. He actually sounds like he likes her brother and has made an effort to learn how to communicate with him

People & their judgments are changing in the strangest ways!! Back in the day, we thought these kinds of things were beautiful - across the board!

I would dump those friends in a heartbeat. Unless OP has a habit of going through guys & they’re secretly trying to spare HIM there’s absolutely zero reason to throw this dude under the bus. It took me years after my divorce to even consider a dynamic with another person on a serious level. I have a child with severe special needs. When my partner showed an interest in my son & daughter without being apprehensive of my son & gave a big belly laugh when I started talking about his sillier moments that make most people stop & stare or even look on in disgust, I knew. I didn’t think for one second it was creepy.

Guy "best friend" sounds like he's jealous of new boyfriend. There's no red flag in learning some ASL when a friend or partner's family is signing. It sounds like a genuinely friendly guy who has a reason to learn a new language. This is a green flag.

Someone makes an effort to alleviate an otherwise tricky situation where misunderstandings and frustration would have been involved because there's a communication barrier? OH NO! HOW DARE HE??!!! /s Jesus Christ on a salami.

His efforts to learn sign language deserve a handy.

(Had to read the title a 2nd time to see if it actually said what I thought it did.) OP, WTF is wrong with those so-called friends? (& The guy friend is who's creepy - not Jon.) Jon obviously likes you & he picked up on a common interest he & your brother share so decided to learn ASL so they could be friends. What a wonderful, thoughtful, & kind thing he did. I expect he hoped you'd be pleased too, & who wouldn't be on seeing how happy it made your brother - I'm sure he's had numerous experiences of people not being kind to him. Your friends must have had some bad relationships - maybe a guy started out nice, then showed his true self, & was manipulative & abusive - so somebody being nice is a red flag for them, & what an awful way to go thru life. The fact that Jon made the effort to learn ASL is certainly more than those friends have ever done. If this is a con job, it's a "long con." When I was growing up we had deaf neighbors around on the other side of the block & their daught

It's signs he's a KEEPER not a red flag. Those friends of the OP are jealous or something. What a fantastic guy 💖

At the risk of sounding OP's age, her friends suck, period. Jon's a keeper.

Get some better friends

It's very simple - the friend group never made any effort to communicate with her brother. Now that the boyfriend is doing what they should have done years ago, they are doing some BS finger-pointing so they don't look so bad in comparison.

I wouldn't worry about what said 'friends' say, and I would set a clear boundary that they are not to talk about the boyfriend if they can't say anything nice. If they break that boundary (which they probably will), give them one chance, and if they break it again, I would distance myself. I don't think the friends have her best interests at heart, and she should be wary. After five months, the boyfriend is likely just a good guy who is trying to get along with her family. It won't take a lot of time to tell if the 'friends' are good friends or not.

Those "friends" are nothing more than shallow, mean ableists. That "really close" guy is a major problem, trying to spread seeds of doubt in OP'S head, hoping they'll take root and manipulate her into dumping her boyfriend. I'm glad she's taking three steps back and analyzing the situation. The sooner she dumps that toxic trash, the better.

I warn the OP, that some day Jon will eat tow sticks if the OP's french fries -> red flag, and (Ohh, my God) maybe wants to marry her later. This behavior is offensive, creepy. Run girl, run. Your "friends" know exactly what is good for you.