When I read Walter Isaacson’s book about Steve Jobs many years ago, I was surprised by how eccentric the Apple founder was in his youth, at one time practicing an exclusively fruit diet and completely neglecting personal hygiene, as a result of which colleagues even complained that he stank.

Years have passed, and today’s story from the user u/PleaseCleanYourJunk, in its scope, of course, clearly falls short of Jobs’s biography, but the guy from this story put his passion for an environmentally friendly lifestyle over personal hygiene, which ended up costing him a six-month relationship. So, let’s move on to the story itself…

The author of the post had been dating a nice and sweet hippy guy for around six months

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

The man was also vegan, so the woman tried to switch to vegan food when they were together

Image credits: PleaseCleanYourJunk 

What upset the woman most of all was the dude’s complete neglect of his personal hygiene

Image credits: Scott Feldstein (not the actual photo)

Image credits: PleaseCleanYourJunk 

The last straw was the absence of toilet paper at the guy’s dwelling as he told her he switched to the reusable kind

Image credits: Darren Foreman (not the actual photo)

Image credits: PleaseCleanYourJunk

So the author finally decided to part ways and the man looked totally devastated by her decision

Image credits: Mike Maguire (not the actual photo)

Image credits: PleaseCleanYourJunk

However, after coming over to her friend’s place several days later, the author found out that her now-ex slept with her to ‘cleanse’ himself

So, the Original Poster (OP) says that for six months, she dated a very eccentric guy who was quite a hippy, a committed environmentalist and vegan. Our heroine is a big fan of steaks and burgers herself, however, out of a sense of solidarity, she switched to vegan food when she was with her boyfriend.

All these months, the author of the post lived separately from the guy she dated, but sincerely admits that he was damn good in bed. Probably this was the main reason why the woman was ready to endure the dude’s obvious neglect of personal hygiene. The woman says ‘he never shaved down there’ and used a meswak instead of a toothbrush, rarely bathed, and used vinegar and lemon to wash dishes.

The guy always said he was trying to minimize environmental damage by not using chemicals… but the last straw for the original poster was a visit to her boyfriend’s place when she once went to the toilet and, after ‘doing her business’, found no toilet paper or bidet at all. The guy, in response to quite a reasonable question, said that he does not use toilet paper, because the rolls ‘clog the draining system and go to the ocean which then causes toxicity in fishes.’

When it turned out that for these purposes the man uses reusable towels, which he then simply throws into the washing machine, the girl’s patience, in her own words, burst completely and irrevocably. ‘I wanted to vomit there,’ the author of the post admits honestly. And just at that moment, she started thinking about the upcoming break-up…

Image credits: Marco Verch (not the actual photo)

If you thought that this was the end of the story, and you can move on to the comments (which actually are a true treasure trove of puns and wit), then you are definitely mistaken. In a recent update to the post, the original poster says that she nevertheless decided to part ways, which severely upset her hapless boyfriend. The dude said that she was the only person he felt ‘spiritually close’ to and that she literally broke his heart – he allegedly found a ‘spiritual purity’ in her.

However, when the woman visited her friend ‘Gaby’ (according to the OP, also a bit of a hippie girl) a couple of days later, she found out that her now-ex had successfully replaced spiritual intimacy with carnal intimacy. At least he found solace in the arms of this very friend of OP’s, and she in turn, when she saw the author, ‘looked like a deer in headlights.’ Now the author was absolutely confident in her decision, and also understood what her friendship was really worth. “She and Mr. ReusableToiletPaper can live happily every after with their stinky unvaccinated babies for all I care,” the OP concludes the narrative.

The commenters, as one might expect, were excelling in wit, along the way wondering how the original poster could even endure six months of relationships with such an attitude to personal hygiene. “If he wants to be the greenest human being alive, and subsequently smell like ‘mess’ that’s his prerogative. But you don’t have to date anyone you don’t want,” one of the commenters reasonably pondered.

Also, people in the comments point out that at least in the US (which is where the events were unfolding), wastewater is effectively treated before it enters the ocean, so one shouldn’t worry too much about toilet paper rolls. “Guy seems to be searching for ways to feel superior and more ‘pure’ than everyone else. Which is an even better reason to break up with him,” someone in the comments summarized. And what do you, our dear readers, think about our heroine’s decision?

People in the comments unanimously sided with the author, exceling in wit and puns towards her hapless ex too

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