Been there. My last ex couldn't understamd I didn't like celebrating my birthday, and the last straw was in 2018, I just ate, was full (got late from work, about 11) and she called me to the living room... and there were my whole family with cake and dinner. I just wanted to lay in bes and sleep after a 13 hour shift. And yes, I told her several times that day and the days before I wanted nothing

Receiving a birthday gift marked the penultimate straw for me, the final one being the discovery of romantic texts between him and a colleague about whom he always said 'dont be an idiot , she is a pure girl and just a friend.' He had more pictures of her than me. As we were living together, I received an Amazon package addressed to me, with no gift wrap. I opened it, assuming it was from my family, only to find something I had been telling him for six years that I absolutely despise. The bill had his name so i thought maybe he bought it for someone else, because there is no way he will pick this as my gift. I called him to inform, and he confirmed that he indeed ordered it as my gift. When I asked him why he spent money on something he knew I would hate, his response was, "Buying gifts for you is a chore. Don't give me anything next time, and I won't have to do it for you." He was quite skilled at manipulation, and I reluctantly used the gift, feeling as if I were in the wrong.

Counseling wouldn’t work because she was already done with the relationship. It would have money spent on him learning to accept that it was over. I wouldn’t let friends treat me like that, let alone a significant other.

Sounds like OP's friends and family are easily distracted by $$$. This is a good example of how you can give someone a present that seems generous because it cost money, but it's really not. I don't have f u money and my dad would probably react the same way if I bought him cruise tickets (too many plumbing disasters). A cruise is not going to be fun for anyone who gets sea sick and was planning to go to the Renaissance Fair for months instead.

I'm all for couples therapy but only if there's something to save and when you have a long history together. 2 years is really not that long and this is something that is really hard to change.

This reminds me of my friend. First of all, she worked on her birthday and her (now) ex took the car to her job to give her a grocery list and then left with the car. Her job was next to the grocery store and he could have done the shopping himself, or at least left her the car. She picked up the groceries and carried them 2 miles to get home. When she got home he had a great birthday present for her. The 2 dogs he wanted and she had told him they couldn't have them because she is allergic to dogs. He didn't understand why she "suddenly" walked out on him. (It was a pattern and the dogs were the last boiling point.)

My ex husband, 'You're so hard to buy for'. Sir you are literally standing in a home full of things I love!

Hey honey, look what I got you for your birthday!!! Wait, what ??? Why are you upset with me?? It’s a peanut butter-chocolate ice cream cake. It’s the best!! I love it so I thought you would too. I know you say you’re lactose intolerant and allergic to peanuts, but that’s what lactaid and epi-pens are for. You’ll like it if you try it. Come on I spent a lot of money on this cake.

I think the feelings she had the next morning sound like relief and load having been lifted, so fingers crossed this is the start of moving forwards to a much better life for her

This is evidence that he/they doesn't value you (Lundy Bancroft why does he do that). If he doesn't value you it's something you cannot charge because it's his/their flaw and we can't fix it.

The whole point of giving a gift is to make the receiver happy. I couldn't imagine wanting to give my husband something he didn't really enjoy. Its so pointless and a bit cruel. Giving gifts that someone loves makes you feel so happy and their happiness is wonderful. What's the point otherwise?

Oh my ... what a ... why are people like that? How do they end up being a couple for YEARS? If there are interests only one of the two shares ... no big deal, that ... but if there's nothing to share, if you're, say, a motorcycling vegan and end up being espoused to a butcher who loves to hike and hates motorcycling, the both of you should reconsider either themselves in total, or the relationship. Because it's gonna sink anyway if stuff stay as are.

I'm gonna shamelessly brag here. I'm about to buy my wife a trip to Borneo for our 20th anniversary, she loves Orangutans and Sun Bears, plus we'll do the turtle islands while we're there.

You go, girl. You don't have to keep loving someone who doesn't love you and he obviously did not. Have fun at the Faire!

Stopped celebrating birthdays years ago - life is so much simpler :)

A cruise isn't everyones cup of tea. It would be sheer hell for me. Let's hope she has a Fantastic time at the Renfaire Festival and he gets severe sea sickness and highly turbulent seas for his cruise 😊

Going to a counsellow wouldhave bene useless - another instance of him forcing his way onyou. And him refusing to accept the break-up is just more of the same, where it's his way and never yours,and HE's going to decide what you need and want..

OMG, This - THIS - -THIS! I’m 30 years in. Have always felt I was just stupid & being a difficult wife. In 30 years my birthday has been acknowledged 4-5 times, & once was just a verbal, “Oh yeah, happy birthday.” After the clerk at the bank told me “Happy Birthday!” & he just happened to be standing there. Let’s not get into anniversaries, Christmas, etc. The excuse is always, “Well I just didn’t think about it, you can’t get mad over something I wasn’t thinking about, you’re taking it wrong.”— So clearly I must have been stupid for believing that’s all I was worth.— Now here’s the twist; a year ago he got a traumatic brain injury. He finally remembered Christmas & my last birthday, but we both had Covid, so it was a non event- but he remembered. So ladies……. 😉 🍳 😵‍💫 = 👍🏼 Happy Birthday to me!

Good on her! So happy to hear that she broke up with him and stood her ground. Wasted more than enough time on that selfish POS.

I was in a relationship (marriage)like this for 25 years. I didn't realize that it would never get better until after we had children to raise. I toughed it out, never saying anything, "for the children". Now one of those sons has ghosted me for putting him through an unhappy childhood. Moral of the story. He doesn't love you; he loves himself: you are just an accessory to his life. Run, don't walk!

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These two people have been incompatible from the start. if OP's so angry about the way her boyfriend thinks and acts, she should've left him a long time ago. Cruises are romantic and fun, and most people enjoy them a lot. Renaissance fairs, on the other hand, aren't most men's ideal pastime. Why was OP expecting her boyfriend to be enthusiastic about that kind of activity?

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I'm curious how many times he actually put her wants first but casually forgets it while throwing a fit online. I get that she says she's not trying to be mean, but she's kept a list in her head that she never said anything about till now. I also get that sometimes people have different love languages, but she could have gone about it differently if she actually cared. She's not numb, she's angry. Don't make extreme decisions when you're angry because sometimes you can screw up something good. It's on her for not saying anything after every time she added something to her list. She wanted to hurt him because she didn't feel heard after she never said anything. Bravo. That's what children do.