Attending a funeral is never fun, whether it’s for a close family member or just an acquaintance. Funerals also have a certain etiquette guests need to adhere to. A memorial service or a funeral usually includes eulogies, readings, and music in honor of the deceased. There’s a special dress code too – usually something dark and modest.

But not all people might be aware of it. Certainly not this dude, who showed up at his girlfriend’s father’s funeral in basketball shorts. He said he didn’t have time to dress up, but the girlfriend only felt more disappointed and insulted. The grieving woman went online to vent, and many netizens justified her anger, saying such attire is not appropriate for funerals.

Most people know that when attending a funeral, you should dress appropriately

Image credits: Pressmaster / envato (not the actual photo)

This man showed up to his girlfriend’s father’s funeral looking like Adam Sandler – in basketball shorts

Image credits: mauriciotoro10 / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: confusedawkwardhelp

The classic funeral attire is modest and comprises dark colors

When most of us think of funerals, we associate it with people wearing black. In most Western cultures, that’s usually the case. The basic funeral attire etiquette rules are the same for men and women: conservative. What are the classic principles of dressing for a funeral?

Men should wear black, navy, or dark grey suits, as the folks at Better Place Forests recommend. If a full co-ord is not an option, a dark-colored blazer and coordinated trousers should also be acceptable. However, when it comes to shirts, white is the most common option, but a soft blue or beige also works. What about a tie? It can bring more formality and is generally a good idea, but it shouldn’t be flashy. Either solid colors, subtle stripes, or patterns.

Dresses and skirts for women are definitely acceptable, but they should be knee-length or longer. “It’s not so much about the length as it is about the overall feel of the ensemble,” the end-of-life company writes. For those who prefer pants, tailored trousers or slacks are the best choice. And when it comes to tops, think modest: either a button-down or a flowy blouse in a neutral color.

Both men and women should wear closed-toe shoes and tone it down with accessories. Definitely no flip-flops! A watch, a belt, and stud earrings are your best choice. And a handbag, if you need one, should be small and of a muted color.

“Why are clothes such a big deal at a funeral?” one might ask. Experts say that it’s about showing respect for the deceased and their loved ones. While many people like to express their individuality through fashion, a funeral may not be the best place for that. “The focus should be on choosing outfits that convey respect and reverence rather than drawing attention to oneself through bold or ostentatious attire,” according to Jonathan Hepner Funerals.

Other cultures have very different funeral attire traditions

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

Black is the universal color of funerals in most of the Western world. However, wearing black to a funeral can be inappropriate in other cultures. In Hindu or Sikh funerals, white is the default color of attire. It symbolizes purity, oneness, eternal life, and peace. Sikhs celebrate the soul that will soon join the Supreme Being in their faith, Waheguru.

Similarly, in Hinduism, mourners also wear white to celebrate the fulfilling life of the departed. That’s especially true for the deceased who were elderly. White is the default color of attire for funerals because it symbolizes purity: the deceased person is now freed from the shackles of the material world.

Purple is the color of mourning in Thailand and Brazil. Widows wear purple in Thailand, while the other mourners wear black. And in Brazil, the color purple is associated with the suffering of Jesus Christ. That’s why people wear it together with black at funerals. “As the color has a sacred, devotional meaning, it can actually be considered offensive to wear purple if you are not attending a funeral,” Woodlawn Cemetery writes.

The color red has different meanings in different cultures. In South Africa, people wear it at funerals because it symbolizes the bloodshed during the Apartheid era. In China, on the contrary, it’s most inappropriate to wear red to a funeral. Red is the color of good luck and happiness in Chinese culture, and people usually wear it at weddings.

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The tradition of wearing black to a funeral comes from ancient times

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Today, we believe the tradition of wearing black to a funeral came from the Ancient Romans. Apparently, the family of the deceased would wear dark-colored togas (toga pulla) to funeral rites. That tradition went on into the Middle Ages. Dark purple was also worn by royalty and religious mourners.

Later in the period, members of the funerary procession wore black to stand out in the crowd. Still, it was mostly people of higher social standing and wealth. Because dark dyes were made using rare plants, such garments were expensive, so truly dark colors signified one’s financial situation.

Queen Victoria famously wore black after the death of her husband, Prince Albert, for 40 years. Historians claim that her mourning ritual solidified black as a mourning color in Britain and, by extension, in most of the Western world. She would wear black gowns, veils, and accessories like rings and brooches containing clippings of her deceased husband’s hair.

Widowers and widows during Victorian times were told to wear black. Widows had to do it for a year or more, and widowers for three to six months. Widows even had to cover their faces for the first six months. These funeral mourning attire traditions carried over to Europe and, eventually, to the United States.

Most people were appalled at how the guy could be so inconsiderate toward his partner of 12 years

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