This has everything to do with empathy, and nothing to do with masculinity

Some years ago me, my husband and his best mate was waiting at a cab station for a cab, we were approached by 2 drunk men who started to beat up the best mate, after about 10 seconds (which is a really long time to watch a friend getting beat up) I stepped in and started pulling the guys off him, it took about 2 minutes to stop the fight, and the drunks ran off leaving the best mate on the floor with a kicked in head and detached retina. My husband spent the whole time looking at his phone, apparently it all happened so quickly he did not have time to react. Suffice to say we were divorced 6 months later. This was not the reason for the divorce, but it was the straw that broke the camels back.

The comments about not escalating are spot on BUT as others rightly pointed out, that does not equate to just ignoring what's going on. You call the cops, you get others to help as well so you have a real deterrent etc. The people saying that everyone should just kind their own business are the reason the world is falling apart.

Soldiers train for months to fight but some freeze when they get into a real battle. Cops also choose to do a job that puts them in the line of fire but some also can't deal with it, a case in point being the Uvalde shooting. When people have tried to help others, people have gotten stabbed in the past and maybe the bf was just plain scared. We all hope we would show courage in a scary situation but the reality is that we don't know until we've experienced one. If the op wants a boyfriend that acts differently in situations like that then fair enough, that's her choice. But to basically write that he's not a man because a reaction he couldn't control is very harsh.

I personally couldn't stand by and watch this myself however I see the boyfriends point of view, and depending on what country this is it could have ended up really badly. Some people like to help some do not, he is no less of a "man" for not doing so. I know if something had happened to that woman and I could have helped I'd have struggled to have that on my conscience.

Get rid.

This situation has everything to do with looking out for a vulnerable person and nothing to do with "(strong masculine) men must come to the rescue of (weaker) women" dynamic!! It is a pity too many times when some altercation is happening, much of society has developed a "blind eye" and self-preservation as a reason not to get involved.

Ladies I've said it before and I'll say it again, please learn to protect yourselves and/or carry a legal weapon of some form. Pepper spray on your keychain is not expensive and lasts up to two years unless used. Even a few rocks in the bottom of your handbag can help you deliver a powerful enough blow to give you time to run away or call out for help.

I'm not going to address what the boyfriend should or shouldn't have done, but OP certainly didn't use good judgment. Instead of physically trying to get the drunk guy out of the car why didn't she just tell the girl not to get in (or to get out if she was already in the car)?

Hopefully, boyfriend will pack his balls with him the next time he goes out.

As a fem presenting person I think the people saying OP made an unsafe decision are valid HOWEVER the argument that a man weak enough to force himself on a defenseless woman would try and balls up to another dude is BS. Men like that cower when confronted with someone their size. Also when he was confronted by the bar tenders he didn't try to attack he cowered and they were able to make him go away. Not saying it's guaranteed but more times than not when confronted by another man they run off. Also I think what OP did was very brave. It was absolutely DISGUSTING seeing people say that she should have left the girl to fend for herself like if she did and something happened then what ? Also if that was the commenters mother, daughter or niece would they have that same energy ?? And telling the driver means nothing when the dude is continuing to attempt getting into the vehicle . This is why so many r*pists get away with it.

Typical cisgender heterosexual male behaviour. If he doesn't benefit from it, he doesn't care.

People saying this has nothing to do with masculinity, but it does and should. It wasn't that long ago when men were expected to be chivalrous and use their biological differences to protect and care. But this is now perceived as demeaning and belittling. If a typical man wants to use his strength to harass, manipulate, or abuse, their strength and ability to dominate over a woman would be held against him (as it should). But the flip side would not be acknowledged as is shown in this situation: comments saying it has nothing to do with his masculinity are saying that his biological characteristics of (likely) being stronger, taller, faster, etc cannot be acknowledged without believing that we are belittling women by acknowledging 'superiority' in some area. That's absolute bs. Woken clearly have advantages in some areas and men in others. Denying this results in a weaker society altogether.

I'm not getting stabbed, shot, bludgeoned, or possibly killed for your idiotic need to get involved and cause trouble in a situation that had nothing to do with you. Period. This woman sounds completely unhinged and dangerous. No thanks.

I don't like the language she used but I share her feelings. He could have done so many things without being violent himself if he doesn't like it. @ElfWarrior666 "The girl is responsible for her own securirty" you'te neither an elf nor a warrior, you just waste everyone's oxgen ans I really hope you don't have a daughter. When women take security in their own hands they end up in jail most of the time. How could anyone live with knowing someone might be murdererd ou raped and they could have prevented it?

Hopefully she yeeted mr useless.

This is actually a tough situation. You catch certain people at the wrong time they can and will kill you, men shouldn't be expected to risk that in every situation that involves a woman no questions asked. But. If my significant other isn't even remotely concerned about helping me if I'm in a potentially dangerous situation I would lose an essential piece of respect for him.

Some people can´t handle violence. OP boyfriend reaction was not adequate ? Perhaps. Against a scary situation, your brain enters fight or flight mode. OP brain was in fight, OP´s BF was in flight, and he was fighting his flight urge to stay with you. Not everyone is physically able to escalate. If you have ever been beaten, it can trigger a trauma response where you just freeze instead of actually doing something when tension builds. Male priviledge is nobody will try to S-A you if you go out. Male priviledge is also having drunkards looking for a fight if you go out. And people die in bar fights every week end. A guy that played vball with me punched a guy, the guy landed on the curb and died on the spot. That is another way to loose a bar fight. You could as well redirect your anger to the professional driver for not taking care of the problem. Good for you for helping the girl out. But doing it by yourself, death was one of the possible outcomes.