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The Way This Guy Failed At Dirty Talk With His Girlfriend Is Making People Laugh Out Loud
Sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Right up there with eating a tasty meal, getting a refreshing night’s sleep, scoring a great goal, or just a nice cup of tea, the simple fulfillment of this basic human urge brings a sense of satisfaction that’s hard to beat.
However, being a complex coming together of two (or more) individuals with their own needs and expectations, sex can also be a physical and emotional minefield. One wrong slip and it can blow up in your face! (Facebook cover image: MediaProduction)
Image credits: Amy Moss (not the actual photo)
This story told on the subreddit r/tifu by anonymouslittlebitch is a good example of what not to do. To be fair to the guy, he is inexperienced and had to dive straight into the deep end: dirty talk. This is an area fraught with danger; you gotta walk a fine line between being edgy and imaginative, but be careful not to step into creepy. Creative wordplay, although funny and good for showcasing your clever wit, is probably best left for another time, too.
This killer combination of nervous naivety and copious amounts of rum was indeed a recipe for disaster. The fair maiden was left speechless, while anonymouslittlebitch’s ego, amongst other things, was swiftly deflated. Scroll down below to check out how it unfolded for yourself, and share your own stories in the comments!
Bored Panda contacted anonymouslittlebitch for an update and sadly, it’s over. “I decided to break up with her, but not necessarily over the dirty talk incident,” He told us. “I thought it’d be hilarious to show her my post and the replies, thinking she’d see my side clearer. Turns out she thought I “betrayed her trust” because I told the internet my story. It’s not like I posted her SSN and blood type.”
“As far as dirty talking goes, I’m out of the game. I’ll just slap on a snorkel next time I want to comment on something being wet. Generally, 75% of what I say is some form of wordplay or pop culture references. The other 25% is apologizing for it…”
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People reacted with laughter and empathy for the OP, while sharing their own experiences
What do you think ?
Aaron Kara 5 years ago
"Moister than a oyster" and "Slam her clam" - This is pure maritime filth and I absolutely love it. My gf will be laughing tonight...she usually is when I'm naked
Noez 5 years ago (edited)
Oh come on, that's FUNNY!!! Poor guy should not feel bad about this, this is only funny as hell! I would have laughed like a crazy person if my SO said something like that! Speaking of embarrasing sexual moments: I once had a boyfriend who thought he could turn me on buy sucking on my breasts and saying "Mommys Milk" over and over. That was a real Sahara moment there... Moister than an oyster, however, it's FKN FUNNY!!
Gracie Mae 5 years ago
If you can't laugh while having sex, you're seriously missing out on some great bonding moments!
Aaron Kara 5 years ago
"Moister than a oyster" and "Slam her clam" - This is pure maritime filth and I absolutely love it. My gf will be laughing tonight...she usually is when I'm naked
Noez 5 years ago (edited)
Oh come on, that's FUNNY!!! Poor guy should not feel bad about this, this is only funny as hell! I would have laughed like a crazy person if my SO said something like that! Speaking of embarrasing sexual moments: I once had a boyfriend who thought he could turn me on buy sucking on my breasts and saying "Mommys Milk" over and over. That was a real Sahara moment there... Moister than an oyster, however, it's FKN FUNNY!!
Gracie Mae 5 years ago
If you can't laugh while having sex, you're seriously missing out on some great bonding moments!
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