Boomers, GenWhatever.... I am so tired of reading these. If someone is an a*shole, he or she is one, no matter when he or she was born. Everytime when someone uses these generation description, it is meant to be an offence.

This is not a boomer thing, this is a controlling bastard thing

The FIL is clearly a total and utter a**e, but that has nothing to do with his age. He was an a**e all his life. One thing I've found is that anyone who uses the word "Boomer", especially as an insult, is very likely an a**e too (and most definitely ageist)

However the continued mention of the word 'boomer' implies that this indicative of alleged boomer behaviour. It isn't. The FIL had clearly felt entitled all his life. A bit like my Dad and he wasn't a boomer either.

tapping on a glass to get your wife a refill becase she is his servant is so wild.... that is so 1950s... (also a plot of one great show "Why Women Kill", i recomend!) :)

It bothers me so much when abuse victims are told to grow a spine/are called spineless. They are victims of severe, longstanding abuse. Calling them weak will just make them even weaker and convince them that they truly are incapable of taking care of themselves.

She’s not his wife… she’s his groomed slave.

Dad being a boomer has nothing to do with the fact that he's an entitled, narcissistic a*****e with main-character syndrome and your poor MIL deserves so much better.

If I fired up a lawnmower at 5 AM my neighbours would be on me faster than flies on a freshly deposited turd telling me in no uncertain terms that it's anti-social to cause noise before 9 AM on weekdays and about 10 AM during weekends. If I persist, I will get a visit from the neighbourhood mediator who will tell me there are complaints about me and could I please stop being a bad neighbour and if I still persist the police will turn up and take my lawnmower away. Moral of the story: FIL is an anti-social, misogynistic piece of abusive human being and it's a pity OP's husband can't seem to grow a spine.

My cat also wakes me up at 4 a.m. so I can make him breakfast.

My father was a boomer and he was awake around 5 even on vacation. He happend to sleep to 9 once or twice in his life and called it a very long sleep in ! I sleep late at night so I wake up late in the morning. And all I can remember when we were together was the smell of fresh coffee and hot chocolate and grilled bread around the time I used to wake up. One morning, I even heard him around 8, my cat went to see him and she talked a lot. He whispered a "shh your mama's sleeping" and my cat answered whispering too. It was so cute !

I'm so tired of BP choice on reddit articles. There are so many interesting and heart-warming stories on Reddit. Why are you choosing only infuriating ones?

If you would slap this type of 'man', he would scream abuse!

This isn't a Boomer issue. This is an entitled prick no matter his generation issue. The best advice I can give would be to offer the MIL a way out. Invite her to come live with you when he isn't around and give her a bus or a plane ticket. If your partner blames you and takes their father's side instead of calling him out and laying down the law, you may want to rethink your marital status. Your partner may be trying to slowly train you to be submissive and obedient like their mother. And the next time your FIL taps that glass, you tell him to get off his backside and get his own refill, as his wife is not his slave or his servant.

The whole Boomer thing has outlived it's time already. He's just an arsehole.

If my dad had tried this sort of s**t on me, he would have been the unwilling recipient of a saucepan to his head and made to sleep in the shed for the duration of his visit. A nap at 9am would have included a marching band walking over him.

Boomerphobia!!!!

Fireworks will be had, all day everyday that FIL is visiting, because I won't put up with all his shite.

I had a wry laugh at the OPs remark about letting him go home alone,saying he can't use a microwave and would starve. That is one thing he will never do. You'd be surprised how much men like that can actually do when it comes to food. My FIL did absolutely nothing in their house. They had 2 sons, but my MIL wasn't allowed to get any help from them as, quote, we didn't have children to be our servants. (Pretty sure that would have been a different story if they'd had a daughter). He never so much as made a cup of tea. Then she died. And suddenly there he was making sandwiches and cooking dinners like he'd done it all his life. Trust me, OPs FIL will never sit there and starve to death.

This is an old man urination thing. His being a boomer is irrelevant. After his third wake up because of his bladder, his mind is now awake. If he gets bored, this is when he needs to read his book, magazine or paper. As for food/drink, that's being an a** and he can wait.if he can't get it himself quietly. 9am naps? Those are awesome. Wish I could have one now and then.

1. Have husband speak in private with his mom. Ask her what she wants eg time with grandkids or even a safe place to live. I’m reading something very close to domestic abuse.. 2. Tell DIL that boundaries are going to be in place. If he doesn’t comply, he’s not welcome. 3. Arrange for MIL to visit grandkids by herself, pick her up if needed. Or possibly to stay with or near the son and his family permanently. DIL better start learning how to use the microwave.

It seems the commenters didn't get how hard it is to control this FIL. No one can do it apparently. Pronouncing ultimatums will just make him leave and they don't even have to big ones. OP needs some better, sneakier solutions or maybe she and her husband can visit stay a hotel and let the grandmother see the kids as much as she wants. It might disrupt their routine less.

I'd be throwing ice water on his face at 3:59am.

My bestie doesn't let her partner ever sleep in past 9, even when there's no plans for the day. My Mum tells my Dad when to go to bed and calls it "rebelling" when he doesn't right away. It's a control thing, not a generational thing.

I m basically cracking up at the frying pan bit and "see u when we get back" movie stint lollll. That was awesome and i bet MIL looooves you soooo much because u respect her to death. This women is a prisonnier of a narcissistic f**k. Forget boomers. He's just plain sick in his head. The sad part, as there are so many out there, is that the partner often leaves unexpectedly and they then finally realize how good they were to them. Too little too late. I hope she gets out and moves near u guys to enjoy the remaining time she's got with real family love

Before my papa passed back in 99, he was the one who always got up at 4am BUT he always went to bed no later than 7pm.(He wasn't a boomer, he was born in the silent generation 1910s). He has never woke anyone up that early(well not on purpose). He would get up go make his coffee from the percolator and go sit in his chair in the living room and drink his coffee while smoking his morning cig. (Sometimes that did woke me up smelling his cig smoking back when my parents and I would spend the night when I was a kid or he would end up coughing up a lung lol). Usually after he had his morning coffee and smoke then he would proceed to get dressed and shave and then if he got bored he would go outside with his dog until the newspaper came. He never took naps not until he gotten up in his late 80s right before he passed. My granny never got up when he did, he always let her sleep until around 6am(she worked as a cafeteria lady for a school)..

His poor wife…

If they can't afford a hotel for 2 visits a year then it needs to be one visit a year. Also, people's lack of self awareness (getting up at 4 and then napping is fine but sleeping in is not fine) is tiring. It's common for older people to not be able to sleep but the disrespect is unforgivable.

WHY was the rpick even invited in the first place? If I knew, there would only be an invite for the MIL, give HER a holiday, make the abusive rpick suffer a week or two alone.

His wife would be so much happier when he dies and it cannot be too soon. Mowing the lawn so early is a war declaration and neighbours ((if there are any) should have called the cops). This old man is a POS and her partner is too for allowing that kind of behaviour. I would make so much noise when he's trying to nap he would never come back.

An what sort of example do their visits set for the kids? It may not be bad, though. The grandparent we saw the most was an Archie Bunker style racist. My sisters and I just laughed under our breath at her ranting.

Just wondering ... Don't the USA have the noise curfew? UK: between 11pm and 7am. Not absolute silence, but not enough to disturb your neighbours. And 4am?? I recall Margaret Thatcher bragging about how little sleep she needed (5 hours), and she succumbed to Alzheimer's disease. Not saying it's a 100% cert, but it is noted by medical bodies. May be a bit behind the times (just getting used to all the abbreviations, lol), but what era is a Boomer? I'm in my 60s, and wondering if is my era or my elder daughters (born '89)? Also? Stereotyping will NEVER NOT be a thing. Reminds me of something I heard once said, many years ago: 'If a (man from whatever Country/Continent) rapes a woman, does it make ALL (men from whatever Country) rapists?' Admittedly, I hear a lot of derogatory talk, re: Boomers - & also Millenials/Genx/z 🙃 but they make it seem like Boomers are the most horrible peeps out of the lot of them.