You need to know that the first year after losing one of the most important people in your life is hard for a million reasons. (First birthday first Christmas first every other holiday that they're not there) But the second year isn't much better either because everyone else thinks that you should have "moved on by now" which is ridiculous because she's your mom. It'll never stop hurting that she's gone and you'll always be sad that she never got to see her grandchild. Mother-in-law's joke was flat ("I'll be the favorite that's because I'm the only") and insensitive. "This is YOUR fault because you're still upset nearly a year later?" How would she feel of her kid died? Do you think that she'd be over it a year later? She wouldn't. She would hold this pain in her heart forever. And you will too. But, new love will temper the pain. With time, it won't hurt so much anymore. Right now it hurts extra because it feels like your mom's memory is being disrespected. This is not your fault.

A joke is funny. That wasn't a joke. People really need to stop veiling insults as "jokes." If the person the joke is about isn't laughing, it's not a joke.

OP’s husband doesn’t “want to get caught in the middle”? Excuse me, buddy-ro, but when you married OP in spite of the way your mother treats her, your place automatically moved to the middle. It’s your JOB now to stay firmly in the middle and be the gatekeeper for your little family, with your side of the family. OP is supposed to do the same for you with her side. You’re no longer mommy’s little boy, you are your wife’s husband, and she and your children, hell even your pets, are your priority now. So tell your mother to go suck rocks and, if she doesn’t immediately and permanently straighten her act out, your child will only have one grandmother—-the one who unexpectedly died a year ago.

I love that she chose to name the kid after HER mother, and I hope the evil MIL takes it as the slap in the face she deserves.

Omfg. Girl, RUN. GET AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE. That is absolutely Sick behavior- mother AND son. I’ve Never heard anything so horrible in my life.

That was a B***H move on the MIL's part, the husband is a jerk for not sticking up for his wife shutting Mommy down and the old bat would have limited access to the baby and never be alone with it.

OP's instincts are right on. Sh and her sister will make great parents. Divorce that mama's boy now.

You are owed an apology. You mil is a disgusting person. And your husband needs to grow a pair and back his wife!!! Hope mil doesn't get involved in Veronica's life.

I can't begin to imagine what it would be like after a year. My wife has been gone for just two weeks...

That Monster-in-Law is a nasty piece of work. The sad part? The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. That biatch knew full well that what she said wasn't a joke. Judging by the ensuing, awkward silence that followed, so did everyone else, even that walking excelsior posing as a husband. In OP'S shoes, I would have reacted the same way. She was right in staying with her friend; otherwise, Mother and Son most likely would have tag-teamed her and demanded that she apologize for "overreacting." OP should contact a lawyer and serve that "man" divorce papers, having him communicate through attorneys only. Oh, and as the piece de résistance, inform him that neither he nor his mother will be allowed in the hospital when it's time to give birth, the baby's name is now Rosie, and she will be seeking full custody, with extremely limited visitation rights.

Wow. For someone who has apparently been with OP for so long, he doesn't know them at all. Their mom died, & he's expecting them to apologize & move on to "keep the peace". Shouldn't he be in their so's corner? What happened to the team marriage is supposed to be? Why are you sticking up for your mom instead of your wife?

Awful, just awful. There’s a common theme with these stories that “overreacting” is treated like a capitol crime. I’ve noticed this trend in real life too. When you say something hurtful, there is a chance you will get a big reaction. It doesn’t cancel out the hurt. APOLOGIZE. None of this fake apologizing, then taking it back like MIL did.

MIL is major AH. Grief takes time. Some people adapt to a a loss more quickly than others. It has been many, many years since I lost the last of my loved ones, and sometimes, after a decade or more, something acts like a trigger and my heart breaks again. A year is not a long time when you've lost someone as important as your mother. If your husband is not on board with what you're feeling, if he's supporting his mom, than they both need some help. And MIL being afraid that you'll name your daughter after your mom? When that is a wonderful tribute? I see red flags all over the place.

'Overreacting' as in more than usual, being in mourning and pregnant, not as in more than appropriate. Such a sad story, this one.

If he wants to put his mom first he should go live with her.

First rule of comedy - read the room.

As someone who is grieving a close loss, your reaction was not intentional, you were blindsided. At best, it was thoughtless and oblivious of your mil to rub in your loss. Instead of doubling down, she should be saying she didn't mean to upset you, as I hope she didn't. If she can't be kind enough to say she's sorry she made you upset and that she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, then she is being selfish and self-righteous.

My best friend's mom died about a year before I met her (a few years ago) and her father remarried. The stepmom (Lady Tremaine) has been a bane on my friend's existence. At first, she "accepted" my friend, but when my friend wouldn't conform to her standards (including calling her 'Mom"), the relationship soured badly. Lady Tremaine has sent insults (which my friend shared with me), stood her up numerous times for 'reconciliation' dates and has stolen over $1,000 from her (no small sum for someone with little money). My friend has essentially gone minimal to no contact, but it means she doesn't get to see her dad much. Thankfully, no kids. But Lady Tremaines never change. That OP's MIL is actually demanding an apology after making that kind of joke is reprehensible. That her husband won't stick up for her is sickening. He needs to grow a pair and stand up to his dear old Lady Tremaine before he loses his wife and daughter. His mother already has done just that.

I could have been swayed to be on MIL side right up until she doubled down and didn't fall on herself apologizing for saying something so incredibly stupid and hurtful. Makes me think MIL hadn't misspoke, but was in fact saying what she really felt. That b!tch would never be alone with my child.

Is the baby's name Veronica or Rosie/Rosa?

This man has no balls! "Not getting caught in the middle" my a*s! When my father and brother started fighting during my daughter's birthday, when it was about to get physical, my husband yelled at them to get out, because he wouldn't allow anyone to ruin our daughter's first birthday (I had told him beforehand I was worried, because my father and brother fight nearly everytime they see each other). He could have just sat there with his tail between his legs because he "didn't wanna be caught in the middle", but he didn't. He defended his family.

I lost my mom when I was 6, she will always be the grandmother of my children. You’re NTA, you mil is. My mil was no price either but at least my husband knew better than to back up his mom.

There is a small part of me that feels some sort of empathy for the boy here - he didn't have a positive male role model growing up, mum has always been everything to him, and he's perhaps inadvertently got himself in to a situation that he's no idea how to handle and isn't mentally equipped to deal with. That said, he's not the one with a baby growing inside him, and it isn't *that* hard to figure out. I had zero "parental influence" from either side (but if you happen to know who either one of them is, tell them I said hi) and I am a long way from being a "perfect" husband of father - but if Mrs Sharpe says something you don't like, even if it's entirely wrong and unjustified, you'll sit there and tell her thank you for giving you so much attention - and if you don't agree that she's correct and you're an idiot for even thinking otherwise, I will improve your attitude in the blink of an eye. Even if she says the sky is green and the grass is blue I'll back her 100%, because what else is she meant to do.. phone her husband to stick up for her instead? The boy needs to make his mind up no matter how difficult it might be forr him - and if you've put a ring on her finger, your name on her ID, and a baby inside her you're way past the point where you're feelings come first.