Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“If You Saw Her You Would Understand”: 80 Hilarious And Unhinged Reasons Someone Cheated
Generally, our societies condemn cheaters. But we still usually give them the opportunity to explain themselves, which can impact how harshly they are judged. Take responsibility, show that you understand the effect your actions had on others, and you might be forgiven faster. However, some excuses raise more questions than they answer. So, we searched the internet far and wide, and compiled a list of the most ridiculous arguments people used to justify their infidelity. Were any of these legit? Perhaps, who knows? But they sounded weird nonetheless.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"We're engaged, but it's not like we're dating" 35 yrs later and I'm still confused by that statement.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 9 hours ago
So if you got married that is even more reason to cheat? Is that how it works?
RELATED:
#2
How about “ it’s your fault cause you haven’t been meeting my needs” and you know he wasn’t working and I was working 2 jobs and pregnant with his baby.
#3
"You were holding me back from the navy" after we broke up he didn't join the navy... He started working at a SMOKE SHOP
#4
Mine cheated on me cus he didn’t want to ask for money and was hungry and the girl worked at little Caesars. I replied so she was also hot and ready?
#5
"I just haven't been in a good head space since my grandma died" we were 21 his grandma died when he was 7
#6
He said I kid you not "I lost my sock and I was in distress"
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 9 hours ago
Losing a sock meant you lost some traction and fell penis first into a woman? Could happen to any of us.
#7
"I forgot we were exclusive" we lived together
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
I need references. These have to be made up. Seem extremely rushed, vague and completely implausible
#8
"You're pregnant and I'm stressed about it"
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 9 hours ago
And the only stress relief is finding another socket for your rocket?
#9
"If you saw her you would understand"
#13
My ex told me that the hickey on his hip was from a ghost because my house was haunted
#14
"You stopped doing my laundry", well, I was in a car accident and had back surgery, the doctor told me not lift, bend, or strain for 6wks post op.
#16
My ex husband said he was stressed because I lost my job. I was out of work for one month! I had been back to work for months!
#17
My ex said he was messaging the hook up ads on Craigslist because he wanted to see if they were robots. Lmao
#18
He resented me for being loyal during his low point in life. Didnt blame me. Just resented that I was simply there, being loyal. Being supportive or understanding or loving. He hates me for that
#19
"I forgot you said she was off limits" we were in an open relationship and my only full stop was my sister and bestfriend.
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
My sister has a habit of tracking down and having sex with all my exes and male friends.
#20
He told me "well you were at college doing better for yourself so I did better for myself too!" we were done right then
#21
mine told me it didn't count because he couldn't finish because he was thinking of me the whole time
#22
"You were crying and that made me upset so I wanted to feel better"
#23
“I was bored and you live too far away” we lived 5 minutes apart, the girl he cheated with lived further away than me
#25
“If you think about it I did it for us, that way I don’t get bored of you and we can stay together for many years”
#26
He said he wanted to cheat on me before I cheated on him… I’ve still to this day never cheated on anyone before
#27
"Her friend is a witch they put a love spell on me"
#28
"I have split personality. That was my other personality Derek"
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
Derek conveniently appears when I see attractive women. My other personality, Lance, appears when I see hot men.
#30
“I was upset and needed someone and you weren’t there” I WAS AT A FAMILY MEMEBERS FUNERAL!
#31
"you did everything for me... I think you're my soul mate. but you were more like a maid and cook"
Just me, Happy Flower 8 hours ago
Oh hell no! I’d probably be in jail after I was done with him.
#32
"There was a tornado near us and my anxiety was up" so I responded with "so you took shelter in her kitty cat?"
#33
"Bro, I was gonna break up with you a few days ago and I forgot"
#35
"You were too good for me so I cheated to feel better."
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
Sandra Bullock's husband with Kat Von D. I would use his name but I forgot it.
#36
Mine was “you were just too sad because so and so died” IT HAD BEEN 6 HOURS SINCE THEY DIED I DIDNT even tell him at that point
#37
Because the produce went bad in the fridge (that wasn’t cooling)
#38
"I just wanted to know if our relationship was strong enough to get over it."
#40
"I have rib cancer and I only have 2-3 years left to live" He told his ex 6 months ago yesr before that. it's been 5 years and unfortunately he's still alive and well and has 6+ kids with 5+ women
#41
He told me he was having a hard time… I had in two years; lost my dad, had a horrific pregnancy, remodelled our new home by myself, gave birth by c section, got postpartum depression, got scolded
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
"got scolded"- one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn't the same
#44
My ex said “I was deployed, I thought it was okay” like no????
Just me, Happy Flower 8 hours ago
This happened to my niece too. I didn’t think anyone else thought that way.
#45
You're guy's exes came up with excuses?! my ex-husband just said "Well I knew you'd be mad, but I didn't think I'd be this mad."
pug nose curly tail 3 hours ago
She meant, "I knew you'd be mad, but I didn't think you'd be this mad."
#46
mine said he thought it was normal because that's what he grew up seeing. i told him even young children know it's wrong to cheat (at games in my example, but point stands)
#47
Not me but my moms ex husband cheated on her because of “finances” TWICE
#48
My ex told me that his mom said me and the girl he cheated on me with look alike so he didn’t think it would count
#49
A friends boyfriend told her “well you’re always busy with classes” HE HAD MORE CLASSES THAN HER
#51
when I found out my ex was still meeting women on dating apps at 9 months into our relationship, he swore it was for “business networking”
#52
“But I was thinking about you while I did it”
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
Already said this one .. I'm assuming this guy finished so it's different
#55
Lol I got “she is softer than you” I didn’t know I was made out of granite
#58
“Because you love Garrus Vakarian and Astarion more than me” my ex husband’s excuse. THEY ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
hardrad2009 1 hour ago
Well Garrus Vakarian is the best bro in the Milky Way galaxy, how you can’t love him?
#59
Mine told our therapist during our 1st (& last appointment) he cheated on my behalf… apparently he dnt knw exactly what tht phrase meant but was trying to seem intelligent
#60
mine said ive been with you since I was 17...i wanted to try something new. 27 years later
#61
My ex said that he had to do it, bc if he didn’t he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Cool. We were engaged, together for 9 years.
#62
“You forgave your ex so I assumed you’d forgive me too” like what?!
Nice Beast Ludo 8 hours ago
Great use someone's secrets against them while traumatizing them a*****e
#63
Relationship went long distance (internationally) but called twice a day: “We didn’t see each other for five months now.” When he told me of his “new” relationship of exactly five months
#66
"I never told you about it bc you never told me you had an eating disorder" two decades later and I still replay that line in my head randomly ....
#67
I once got from my ex ‘I just feel like there’s an evil spirit in the house the possessed me’
#70
“Because I can” that was my ex’s response.
ZestyBison 7 hours ago
Not if it affects my health. The most basic, three disease STD test is aptly priced at $69.
#72
Mine said ‘you didn’t tell me explicitly not to’
#77
I caught him talking to his ex when I was pregnant and he said because I was too hormonal and didn’t give him much attention mind u I had PPD I had just had our other son 5 months prior
#78
He wanted to make sure he really loved me (we had been together for 3 years and living together)
#80
"You play to much hay day, not giving me attention"
What do you think ?
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
I am surprised that half the world's population don't just live in women's only communes with armed guards on the door. I wouldn't blame you if you did.
Nice Beast Ludo 7 hours ago
Pretty sure all of these were written by the Same person. Wording and grammar and detail length matches up on all of them. What a great waste of time
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
I am surprised that half the world's population don't just live in women's only communes with armed guards on the door. I wouldn't blame you if you did.
Nice Beast Ludo 7 hours ago
Pretty sure all of these were written by the Same person. Wording and grammar and detail length matches up on all of them. What a great waste of time
Related on Bored Panda
