Something that most of you have in common is either regretting the things you did or what you never found the courage or perseverance to follow through with. As you grow older, you tend to grow wiser, and you start recognizing the opportunities you missed, the habits you should have developed, and the relationships you should prioritize more in the future.
Though a ‘perfect’ life and avoiding mistakes is impossible, you can live with more intent and joy, no matter if you’re a teenager looking at college applications or freshly retired. The AskReddit community members recently opened up about their biggest regrets from their twenties, and it’s eye-opening regardless of your age or how (un)successful you might be. We’ve collected their top stories to share with you, so scroll down to check them out.
Bored Panda reached out to neuroscientist Nicole Avena, Ph.D., for her advice on what healthy habits young adults should pursue, as well as which ones they should steer clear of. Dr. Avena is the author of Sugarless: A 7-Step Plan to Uncover Hidden Sugars, Curb Your Cravings, and Conquer Your Addiction, and you'll find the insights she shared with us below.
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Crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for me.
According to Dr. Avena, it is common for people in their twenties to have a 'no regrets' or 'live life to the fullest' mindset. "While it is important to fill your twenties with positive experiences and promote a stress-free lifestyle, it is also important to understand that the actions we take when we are young directly impact our future in terms of health and longevity," she told Bored Panda via email.
"In order to make the most of your twenties, don’t forget to adopt healthy habits that will allow you to engage in positive experiences throughout your entire life. The biggest piece of advice that I can give would be to establish healthy eating habits now that will produce long-term, sustainable results later in life. For example, if you indulge in a bag of cookies and chips every single evening, you won’t see these impacts instantly; however, over time, excessive intake of ultra-processed foods can result in an abundance of negative health complications and contribute to overweight/obesity status," Dr. Avena explained.
"Prevention of chronic disease really starts while we are young and shouldn’t be neglected. In general, it is recommended to avoid excessive amounts of sugar, sodium, saturated fat, and ultra-processed foods, and it is encouraged to consume fiber, lean protein sources, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and adequate water."
Not taking my education seriously to be honest.
To be honest, my regret was taking my education TOO seriously.
Low self esteem and confidence, and the missed opportunities that entailed.
However, eating well isn't enough. We also need to be physically active. "Obtaining a minimum of 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week is ideal for optimal health/wellness. Trust me, if you start these habits in your twenties, you will thank yourself when you are a standout in your forties."
We were also curious about which bad habits were vital to stay away from. Dr. Avena was kind enough to shed some light on them. "Although some young adults feel that drinking alcohol late at night and engaging in partying activities are part of the whole 'live your twenties with no regrets' mindset, there are healthier habits to adopt that can promote long-term happiness and success, instead of temporary feelings of happiness and satisfaction."
Anyone in their twenties should limit the intake of alcoholic beverages. They should refrain from using alcohol as a way to relax or to cope with stress or emotions. "With excessive alcohol intake, there is the risk of developing alcoholism and chronic diseases. Alcohol also provides the body with 'empty' calories and can contribute to weight gain over time; therefore, it is best to consume alcohol only in moderation. It also sets you up to use alcohol as a crutch for your problems and stressors, which only get compounded as you get older."
Being in a committed relationship with someone I didn’t really like for most of it.
Low self esteem, low confidence, people pleasing, inability to say no, and not saving.
I was mentally ill and refused help and lost 10 years of my life. I hid from the world & like a spectator i watched my friends & peers be young, go to college, date, travel, get married & start families while I repeated the same day for 10 years. Now it’s my turn. I’m in my 30’s and by some miracle (and extensive treatment) was able to recover my life and personality. And I’ll be damned if I waste another second brooding over what might have been.
“Throw some roses into the abyss and say here is my thanks to the monster that did not succeed in swallowing me alive.”
-Nietzsche.
It's not just alcohol that can affect young people in a negative way. Excess caffeine intake is also problematic. "Oftentimes, younger adults consume high amounts of caffeinated beverages as this time period in our lives (college, first job, etc.) can be filled with late hours, high stress, and limited sleep," she told Bored Panda.
"Although caffeine can help to boost our energy levels temporarily, it is best to focus on healthy habits that will be beneficial long-term—such as consuming a nutritious diet, engaging in physical activity, getting adequate sleep at night, maintaining adequate hydration, and engaging in stress relief activities."
If you're interested in learning more about healthy living and eating, be sure to take a peek at Dr. Avena's book, Sugarless: A 7-Step Plan to Uncover Hidden Sugars, Curb Your Cravings, and Conquer Your Addiction.
Thinking about stuff i want to do instead of doing stuff i was thinkin about.
Not saving any $$.
If you could have saved money in your 20s, I applaud you! It was hard for me, and I am sure many others.
CNN reports that you could live up to an additional 24 years if you incorporate eight healthy lifestyle choices at age 40. An unpublished study analyzing US veteran data found that picking up these habits at age 50 could prolong your life an additional 21 years, while starting at 60 can still net you nearly 18 additional years.
“There’s a 20-year period in which you can make these changes, whether you do it gradually or all at once. We also did an analysis to see if we eliminated people with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, stroke, cancer, and the like ... Does it change the outcome? And it really didn’t,” she said. “So, if you start off with chronic diseases, making changes does still help,” Xuan-Mai Nguyen, the lead study author, a health science specialist for the Million Veteran Program at the VA Boston Healthcare System, says.
Being married to that loser.
100% I had no idea what controlling coercive behaviour was back then, I was 24 with two babies, no job because he said I would be a negligent parent if I did work, realised I can divorce him and there is nothing he can do about it, at 30 I was free, best move I ever made
Waiting. I spent my '20s waiting. I waited on family, on friends, on significant others, on finding a significant other, etc. Before I knew it, I was 30. Into my '30s, I stopped waiting. If I want to do something or go somewhere? I go by myself. If we set a date and time, and you back out? I still go. By myself.
Not investing in avocado toast futures.
The habits themselves are nothing groundbreaking. The odds are that you’ve heard of them before: exercise, sleep well, foster positive relationships, reduce stress, eat a healthy diet, don’t smoke, don’t drink too much, and don’t become addicted to opioids. But it’s one thing to know something theoretically, it’s something else entirely to put it into action, consistently, as you get older.
Meanwhile, the Harvard Medical School suggests that if you want to take better care of your health, you can do a handful of small things every day. Incremental change is great. All the benefits quickly add up, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the start. In terms of healthy habits, you should consider doing morning stretches, staying hydrated, flossing your teeth for good oral health, and applying sunscreen to protect your skin.
Not traveling more. Now I have more responsibilities, and it’s harder to go.
When my maternal grandparents were able to to extensively travel for pleasure (they both traveled for work & took regular family vacations) they booked an around-the-world cruise that would have allowed them to visit all the locations & cultures they’d dreamt of. Six months before the planned departure, she had an aneurysm that left her hospitalized 6 weeks. They postponed. The day before their new departure, he had a massive ♡ attack & triple bypass. They never took that trip. He regretted never following his dreams until it was too late. They were too old. He encouraged me to travel young. When call possible postpone education & career for travel. When choosing between the next big costly toy or a trip abroad, choose the trip. Like a few close people, he’d given me a lot of brilliant advice that really helped me though life. But he was the only one who gave me this particular piece of advice.
Not finding exercise earlier .
I bought cute little shorts and crop tops - and a gym membership that I never really used.
Alcohol and the blackness it created in my memories….
Moreover, you should consider short naps in the afternoon to give your body and mind a break, eat more nuts instead of processed food, do small workouts throughout the day, be social, and try out new hobbies to constantly stay curious.
In our experience, these things work. For instance, drinking a big glass of water first thing after waking up and delaying your first cup of coffee for a couple of hours work wonders. In the meantime, there’s nothing like chatting with the people you genuinely love to energize you after a long day at work. And don’t even get us started on hobbies … we love to try new things, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to fit all of our ambitions!
Not seeing more bands. I feel like concert tickets are getting more out of control with prices.
My 1st concert was Kiss (Destroyer tour). Tickets were $7.50 Queen (A Day At The Races tour) Tickets were $7.50. 'Nuff said
Marrying the wrong person.
But she’s doing it in the right gown! 🥰 (Yes, I’m aware it’s a stock photo.) Holy hell, that gown is unbelievably gorgeous, and it fits her to within an inch of her life. I might even wanna get married if someone told me I could wear *that*. Wowie!
Hindsight is always 20/20. If there’s anything that we’ve learned in our lives it's that living with more bravery and taking more (smart) risks is usually much better than living scared and passively. Being proactive is a wonderful attitude to develop, whether you’re talking about health and fitness, deepening your positive relationships, learning new skills, studying, investing, applying for a new job, travel, or anything else
Of course, there’s a fine line between bravery and recklessness, so do your research. Ask people for their advice. But at the end of the day, it falls to you and you alone to step outside your comfort zone and chase after your dreams. Nor can anyone choose your goals and ambitions for you: they’re very personal decisions.
Staying at a dead end job cause I was too scared to pursued my dream career.
The best time to take a career leap/chance is when you're young and unattached!
Alcoholism.
This one here. Alcohol controlled my life for years. It took me a long time to finally quit all alcohol. Been 13 years now.
What are the biggest things you regret about your twenties, dear Pandas? On the flip side, what are the things you’re most proud of having achieved? What advice would you give someone who’s in their twenties to help them make the most of their life now? What tips do you wish you’d have gotten when you were younger?
How old are you right now and what are you doing to enjoy life to the fullest? What weird habits have you picked up over the years? We’d love to hear from you! Let us know in the comments below.
Not contributing to my 401(k).
When it was first introduced to me I didn't truly understand what it was so I didn't start one right away. When I did finally start one the economy went bad and losing my job and end up what I had in there to help live off of it.
Taking advice from people whose lives I absolutely did not want.
I was lazy. I spent the better part of my early 20’s just chillin and having fun. That’s great and all, but I was also broke as hell 😂.
This comment will probably get buried but I wish I spent more time taking risks and expecting failure. I was pretty risk averse in my 20s but looking back, even if I did 2 years failing and learning and 2 years at my 20s job (vs 4 years at my 20s job), I likely would have wound up in around the same place as I am now give or take, likely no worse but also likely better and with more experience of what I do and more importantly do not enjoy.
Not telling more people off tbh.
Not getting away from my family I realized now they're all abusive and toxic and don't give a damn about anything but themselves. I should have left a long time ago what a waste of time.
I experienced this one but backwards: I *did* get away from m abusive family, but I never TOLD them why I didn’t include them in my life, which left them to assume that the problem is me and not them. Had I verbally expressed that I didn’t want to be around them because they did nothing but tear me and themselves to shreds (save for the golden child, natch), there would have been a chance, however remote, that they might have changed their behavior. We were beaten for all manner of transgressions, but weren’t TOLD what they were and so couldn’t fix our behavior. Our problems clearly stem from a lack of communication. 😕😰
Instead of putting more money into my 401(K), I enjoyed the extra money every paycheck and blew it on “nicer” clothing and top shelf alcohol while my friends drank bottom shelf and wore the same jeans for years. At 43, my best friend’s 401k is double mine and I would give anything to go back and be more responsible.
I already posted this above but yes, regretted not started a 401k way earlier myself.
Not taking more risks.
The DUI for sure. Thankfully I was pulled over and no one was hurt. That was my rock bottom. But I learned and grew from that so much. Easily my biggest regret, but it was the biggest blessing for me.
Lifting with my back instead of my legs.
I can't do either these days. I make strange grunty sounds and lift with my arms and lower legs and what remains of my knees, and if I can't do that, I use the sack barrow.
Focused on my career. Treated a lot of good women poorly. Avoided getting married. Continued this through my 30s. Now in my early 40s I care less about my career and more about being happy. Dating is absolutely horrible at this age. The good ones are taken.
If the OP thinks "The good ones are taken.", he should note that he is among those not taken.
Not going to college.
Getting f-ing married to the biggest narcissist on the planet. I had very little experience and I fell for someone who took advantage of me. 20+ years later I’m alone bc he left me and I’m trying to start my life over.
Not going to therapy and getting the mental stuff sorted out sooner!
So much time and suffering could have been avoided through correcting negative self-talk and healthy coping mechanisms.
Not saving my BTC….
spent too long believing that there is a god. then spent too long making excuses for a god that wasnt there. life is better now that I dont have that delusion
Idk that I really regret my 20s. If I could go back and tell my 20-something self anything, I'm not sure I would. The truth is that my 20-something self wouldn't believe me anyway. I'm 42 now and my life is far better than anything I dreamed it would be when I was in my 20s.
Using my inheritance to buy a brand new Saturn SC2 instead of saving it to buy a house at some point in the future.
Putting too much of my self worth on my personal success. When that success stopped happening for reasons outside my control, the subsequent mental health crash completely destroyed me. It's nearly ten years later and I'm still not fully recovered.
I wish I had the guts to stand up to my ex MIL who forced my ex husband and I to get married at 19 because we were " adulting" before marriage . My ex was never a bad person we were just married too young and dated for only 4 months .
Certainly wish I'd taken more risks with relationships, but I had a fear of rejection and people finding out that I was socially inept. I did however start a personal pension with the money I got when I was made redundant aged 28 - even if you pay the minimum monthly amount, it's worth it, but pay in more if you can. I've retired aged 62.
A few of these are as simple as just acting and not thinking about them. The worst ones like marrying the wrong person, or family issues are inevitable. At the time they happen -- nothing would have convinced you other wise. Personality and upbringing are mostly to blame. People can't be told what to do or not to do. So many people need to have 3rd degree burns on a hand to know that a stove is hot. It's unbelievably frustrating honestly.
spent too long believing that there is a god. then spent too long making excuses for a god that wasnt there. life is better now that I dont have that delusion
Idk that I really regret my 20s. If I could go back and tell my 20-something self anything, I'm not sure I would. The truth is that my 20-something self wouldn't believe me anyway. I'm 42 now and my life is far better than anything I dreamed it would be when I was in my 20s.
Using my inheritance to buy a brand new Saturn SC2 instead of saving it to buy a house at some point in the future.
Putting too much of my self worth on my personal success. When that success stopped happening for reasons outside my control, the subsequent mental health crash completely destroyed me. It's nearly ten years later and I'm still not fully recovered.
I wish I had the guts to stand up to my ex MIL who forced my ex husband and I to get married at 19 because we were " adulting" before marriage . My ex was never a bad person we were just married too young and dated for only 4 months .
Certainly wish I'd taken more risks with relationships, but I had a fear of rejection and people finding out that I was socially inept. I did however start a personal pension with the money I got when I was made redundant aged 28 - even if you pay the minimum monthly amount, it's worth it, but pay in more if you can. I've retired aged 62.
A few of these are as simple as just acting and not thinking about them. The worst ones like marrying the wrong person, or family issues are inevitable. At the time they happen -- nothing would have convinced you other wise. Personality and upbringing are mostly to blame. People can't be told what to do or not to do. So many people need to have 3rd degree burns on a hand to know that a stove is hot. It's unbelievably frustrating honestly.