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Life can be confusing, even hard at times, and not many of us can proudly say that we've managed to figure it out. We're born into this world not knowing anything, and it takes us some time to master the most basic tasks. We're constantly learning and adapting – which naturally leads to a bunch of little slip-ups.

The wonderful thing about mistakes is that everybody makes them; your mother, your next-door neighbor and even the Queen of England. What's important is that we learn a lesson and acknowledge it every time something decides to go wrong. 

"Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?" An online user decided to take it to one of Reddit's famous communities to ask 1981 – 1996 babies about the life regrets they have. The post received over 2.6K upvotes and 2.2K worth of comments discussing the harsh reality of our existence. 

More info: Reddit

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#1

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the f**k did it take 40 years for self-acceptance?

guscallee , Stephen D. Strowes Report

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May
May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got there in my early 30s, but I definitely spent way too long hating myself for no good reason

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#2

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got.

PutAForkInHim , 401(K) 2012 Report

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M
M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With the speed of inflation.. unless you invest it... That money would not be worth that much now

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#3

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Getting married at 20 and having kids shortly after. A LOT of people warned me that I was starting too young, but I thought I was the exception. I spent my whole life being told by everyone that I was "mature" for my age. So certainly I wouldn't be a statistic!

After years of marriage collapsed into horrible divorce, I realized I wasn't the exception. It's not that my love and desires weren't real, they absolutely were! It's not that I couldn't hack the practical day-to-day tasks of family life, I managed that quite well. The problem is that I was not prepared for how much my partner and I would change as humans in our early 20's. 20 year old me had way more in common with the 15 year old me than the 35 year old me.

If you are under 24(ish) and thinking about marriage, do yourself a favor and wait another year or two. If this is truly the perfect match for the two of you, then you have nothing to lose - that person will still be there. But if you are wrong, and your underdeveloped brain hasn't caught on quite yet, then you will be grateful you waited just a little bit longer.

_DiligentState_ , Virginia State Parks Report

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LiLi
LiLi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom told me not to get married before 25. I thought she was nuts. I am so happy I waited bc if I married the man I was with in my early 20s I’d be divorced and in serious debt.

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#4

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost.

Hrekires , 1Day Review Report

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Patti Hoover
Patti Hoover
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also stayed for 28 years (teaching), When I finally left and got my new job made twice as much!!!

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#5

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group 40 already. Born in 81 so I think I just make the millennial cut.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice.

MrDundee666 , Sandy Brown Jensen Report

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Don't Look
Don't Look
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some call us xennials because we are right on the line and we have siblings in both generations.

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#6

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Not getting healthy earlier.

zombiearchivist , Marketeering Group Report

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Kate Jones
Kate Jones
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man this whole thread is speaking to me so much. I think not getting a handle on my weight has been the regret of my life. And it's something that I have control of which is the saddest part. I've gotten much better with being happy with myself as I am but I do wish I'd been healthier when I was younger and gotten into good habits then so it wouldn't be such a struggle for me now. .

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#7

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Take care of your f**king back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that s**t is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week.

GuyTallman , Sunset Removals Report

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KB
KB
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah i did my back out at work when i was 29. Heavy lifting every day at work. Definitely did something wrong one day or just straining myself with all the lifting. I don't know why i stayed so long at the job, as a very petite young woman, not really the best job to be doing lol! I found out i was a few weeks pregnant when i visited the doctor about my back problems. So they wouldn't and couldn't do very much for me as i was pregnant. So the horrendous back pain/problems only got worse due to pregnancy. 4 years later and my quality of life has definitely changed for the worse all because of severe back problems now. I took so much for granted before but even the simplest of tasks are impossible for me now, the list is endless! Take good care of your back! I wish i had

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#8

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance

CharlieChooper , Courtney Carmody Report

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José Velásquez
José Velásquez
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it depends if your dad was a good person or not. In my case, he was great but he left too early. He died barely past being 37 years old, almost 30 years ago, and I miss him until today

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#9

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group I wish I had taken the initiative to resolve my own childhood/developmental trauma much earlier than age 30. I would have had more self-worth in my early relationships, jobs/earning potential and friendships.

broccolimountain , Daniela Brown Report

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Birgit M
Birgit M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this, but I wasn‘t ready to take the initiative sooner.

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#10

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group All the damn avocados I bought, I could have gotten a house.

Kytti_Korner , whologwhy Report

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MarmotArchivist
MarmotArchivist
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right, and if they had forgone all the take out coffee, they could have gotten a yacht as well🙄

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#11

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action.

tomwaste , H. Michael Karshis Report

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, I'm not the only one. I'm feeling like I've been wasting my life. There are people getting awards, travelling the world on humanitarian missions, doing incredible thing after incredible thing. What do I have to show for my life? A small apartment I've lived in for over 10 years and a couple kitchen gadgets I got for staying at this company for a decade, as well.

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#12

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Not wearing sunscreen.

blueboxreddress , Andrew Lorente Report

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Don't Look
Don't Look
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an 87 year old father who has to go to a skin doctor every month or so to have possibly cancerous skin removed. Now, he hasn’t really had a problem yet but let it sink in: skin cancer check once a month because he was born before sunscreen.

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#13

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Staying too long in an unhappy marriage. I lost the last half of my 20s and most of my 30s because of it.

Zenstation83 , mrhayata Report

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Don't Look
Don't Look
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there, done that. (Still not really completely out of it yet.)

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#14

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Try not to get cancer.

If you feel unwell go to the dr.

I felt numbness in my fingers and toes. . Let that go for a few months. It turned to arm Pain. Went to the hospital and it turns out I have stage 4 renal carcinoma.

Don’t let any symptoms go unchecked. You’re older, and if your body is telling you something is wrong f**king listen to it.

bakedlawyer , Dan Keck Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this was very specific to me so I'm gonna make an appointment.

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#15

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Should have bought a home. We qualified 20 years ago for enough to buy a small 2 bedroom but I didn't think we could afford it. That 2 bedroom would be worth nearly 3Xs and paid off by now. We pay nearly double in rent what our mortgage would have been. Gotta love the SF bay area cost of living.

Thelazywitch , Jennifer C. Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mortgages cost and arm and a leg here in the Caribbean. Most jobs are contracted and the banks aren't willing to lend on that basis. Only those lucky enough to get good paying jobs or permanent positions benefit.

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#16

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money.

SensibleReply , fran.trudeau Report

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#17

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Pining after the wrong person

runikepisteme , fromcolettewithlove Report

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#18

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group I moved a lot as a kid and am what is called a third culture kid. I feel at home nowhere.

Because of this I also learnt to see friendships and relationships as transactional and didn't maintain them or invest in them.

Because my early life experience is different to those with stable childhoods, I am also really closed. I have learnt to assume I have relatively little in common with others, and no longer bother to even try.

I have effectively become a hermit, am largely friendless, and ended up sacrificing any chance of happiness to take care of an elderly relative.

It is probably too late for me.

deleted , Christopher Bowns Report

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HannEli
HannEli
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This resonated with me. I hope we both know that we are not alone with these feelings and issues... I have no friends, family, nothing because of how I was raised and situations I was put in as a child. It followed me. I feel homeless and ghostly. It is one of the worst emotional pains I think there could be... to feel empty and deserted.

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#19

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Listening to other people tell me what they thought I’d be good at instead of doing what I wanted to do/was interested in.

Not really approaching 40, but I turn 31 this year, and for the longest time I had issues taking peoples advice too literal and trying my damndest to please everyone else instead of making myself happy.

I wasted 12 years of my life doing this and just floating along before it finally clicked and I went to school for what I do now. I love my job/field, and I beat myself up daily for not doing it sooner and for listening to everyone instead of listening to myself….

notoriousDAT , Elvert Barnes Report

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Kiryn Silverwing
Kiryn Silverwing
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad was paying for my college degree, so I felt like I had to listen to him about what to major in and what career to aim for, because he wanted me to be successful in life. Dropped out of college due to a lack of motivation, spent nearly 10 years working a low paying job before going back to school for something I actually care about. Wish I'd had the freedom to do that back when I was 20.

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#20

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group When I was 12-13 my grandfather and I talked about driving from Florida to Alaska over the summer after I got my drivers license.

By the time I got my license (17yo) I was too involved with being with my friends/girlfriend and working. Biggest regret if my life not doing that trip. I’m 37 now and think about it from time to time.

Thirdstringreddit , Marc Choquette Report

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Huddo's sister
Huddo's sister
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandad offered to pay for him and I to go to the UK when I finished high school, but I decided to start my uni degree straight away. By the time I finished that, he was going into a nursing home.

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#21

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Not recognizing early red flags for an abusive relationship. It can be tempting to give yourself over to someone showering you with affection after a long dry spell but pay attention to some important details - how long have they known most of their friends? Are they asking you for money really early on, and for something that seems like they should be able to take care of? Bonus point if one or more of their friends brings up money they owe them too. Do your friends seem to like them? How quickly do they start trying to change things about you or make negative comments? I realized 3 months in that this wasn't a good relationship but stayed for another year just because it was comfortable and I wanted someone to be there, not because it was the right person. Fortunately, I was smart enough not to co-sign on anything. Once the wrong person is living with you it can be extremely difficult and stressful to get them out of your house without risking your own safety, especially if you have pets. It can be tempting to move in together quickly, but it's sometimes not worth the risk.

SunshineSpectacular , Kevin DooleyFollow Report

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You cant stop the truth
You cant stop the truth
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

imagine staying in a relationship for like a decade AND putting up with abuse. Try that. Why? Because that's all that you think you deserve. Now that I'm out of it, I think I never ever ever ever want it again. No siree. Not having to explain where I am, who I am seeing, why I am going there, what do I want for supper, etc. F**k it. At least now I answer to no-one.

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#22

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Smoking and not dealing with my s**t the right way.

Allenrw3 , Curran Kelleher Report

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SkyyenGary
SkyyenGary
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh me rn, on day one quitting and I want to quit trying to quit already lmaooo

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#23

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else.

lenalily227 , dz roman Report

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#24

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf

Kusanagi8811 , Tony Alter Report

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Don't Look
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. Except I’m 40. But tinitus and hearing issues. I now wear hearing protection at least at gun ranges and air shows.

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#25

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself losing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them.

eZiioFTW , Laurence Edmondson Report

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#26

I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30s. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess.

Although honestly? My only real regret/mistake in my life is going back to grad school in 2010. I felt trapped by getting laid off twice and not being able to find any work. I was debt-free, but I really felt forced into going back to school to try and make something of myself. It was either that, become homeless, or figure out how to move back in with my parents. Now I have over 100k in debt because my 60k grad loan has ballooned due to interest rates and forbearance because once again, I couldn't find a decent job upon graduation. Student loans are a f**king racket.

Dartastic Report

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#27

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Wasted my life in deep depression; Still wasting it. Never finished college, never found a stable relationship and just gave up on finding a relationship. Lost the love of my life because of my depression

Mtbarnes1 , Kayla Report

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#28

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Going to university and majoring in business, numerous poor investments in now defunct companies and businesses and not taking care of my health while younger

jawaballs , moolanomy Report

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Is Be
Is Be
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the first things I learned in a finance class was that investing in the stock market on very specific stocks is like betting on horses. If you like gambling go for it but the best way to invest is in a mutual fund. As you get older increase your holdings in bonds.

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#29

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them.

mpssss22 , Five Furlongs Report

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#30

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Selling drugs while I was in the Army. Got me thrown in prison for a couple years. Restarting life and missing a big chunk of your 20s isn't great. 0/10 do not recommend.

bstyledevi , Oh-Berlin.com Report

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Jods
Jods
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mate, you had a choice! You just chose the wrong one.

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#31

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Played way too many video games. Thousands of hours every year for 25+ years. It adds up. I feel I could have developed so many useful skills over this period of time.

Tooster , Helena Cortés Report

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Max M
Max M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Video games are good for people with ADHD. For me, they let me disconnect from the world and the thinking mess we gets.

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#32

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Didn't go to college, drank way too much, and didn't believe in myself and wasted away talents that don't come naturally to me anymore.

deleted , Julian Tysoe Report

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Jods
Jods
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is something else that really bugs me and it’s getting big over here in the UK. Why do you have to go to university? A degree doesn’t trump experience (no, not that sort of trump). Had a 24 year old in the office, came direct from university waving their business degree in everyone’s face, making out they were more qualified for the job. They hadn’t got the foggiest idea what the job entailed, especially how to deal with office politics. Answering the telephone was definitely not a role this person thought they should have to do. Didn’t last long due to incompetence.

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#33

Millennials Nearing Their 40s That Have Made Mistakes Share 30 Of The Most Regretful Ones In This Online Group Chasing titles/business cards. I pushed so hard in my late 20s/early 30s to get the biggest job in my company. Then was miserable for 2 years, realistically took a pay cut (commission vs salary), lost any work life balance, had no relationships outside of my work, responsible for 30+ people, and fell completely into violent alcoholism. Relinquished the title, lost the job, took a commission spot at the main competitor. Now I am married, sober, have multiple hobbies, time to visit friends from my childhood, and very little responsibility outside of myself.

Now I’m not saying the job I had was horrible, just horrible for ME. My skill set is not designed for office work/politics/policing.

Work makes up a majority of peoples lives, do something you truly enjoy, or at least can tolerate and make work with the outside of work life. There was NEVER a situation where my title or business card was used to any positive effect, however it completely dismantled my life. “Sales” sounds scummy compared to “regional director”, but alcoholic violent loser is also much scummier than where I am today.

heylookitscaps , Michael Kappel Report

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Madzdad the Bard
Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only titles I care about are "dad", "spouse" and "good friend", but it did take me awhile to get there.

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#34

Not saving enough for retirement and not going to college. I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years now and have nothing saved for my own retirement. I have a high school degree and cosmetology license but that’s it. If my husband left me I’d be f**ked because I wouldn’t make s**t doing hair(when I quit working I was a manager/stylist and only brought in 50k a year plus hours were awful all nights and weekends not great for a family since there are no night or weekend daycares). At this point, I want to go back to school but not sure how to even do it. It’s also expensive and I need someone to watch the kids. I feel stuck. Wish I’d not gone to cosmetology school and instead got a 4-year degree then I could have kept working when I had kids since I’d have a job that could pay for daycare and had better hours! I guess at least my husband bust his a*s and makes good money and is saving for retirement but I feel like I should be contributing.

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Frances M
Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t worry and it’s never to late. My mother in law did a business course (1 year cert) when her youngest started high school (she was almost 50) and jumped straight into an office manager role due to her life experience and skills gained through raising her kids. She worked until she had just enough for a small pension and now enjoys life with her husband and occasionally visiting grandkids (once a week)

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#35

I sometimes oscillate between regretting my divorce and being happy about it. I have a son who is autistic and nonverbal. I also am 40 now and am considered physically unattractive by most men. I know I will be alone for the rest of my life. That was my one shot. I didn't make the greatest choice because I didn't have good options. I chose the safest one, and he left anyway.

When I get lonely, I regret it, but when I am in a normal mood, I know I'm in a much better place today.

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You cant stop the truth
You cant stop the truth
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was divorced about a year ago and despite being "old and unattractive" now I am really glad I did it. The freedom of not having to depend on, or answer to, someone else, is fantastic. If I think about "getting" someone new, all I do is remind myself that they're going to try control what I do, make me answer to them about what I am doing, why, when how what with whom etc etc... YAWN. No thank you. I am quite happy doing my own thing. I really can go hang out with friends if I need to socialise. I do not need a constant "presence" around me that is silently judging everything I do and sighing passive-aggressively.

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