Tamela Julia Gordon (@shewritestolive), a New York-based community organizer and author of the 2024 hit, Hood Wellness, tells Bored Panda that she was inspired to start this discussion online after a conversation with someone about an essay in her book Can I Hate Your Order?. 

In it, she talks about the good, bad, and ugly in the hospitality industry, which prompted a person to ask her if she had ever served a celebrity. This led her to also share her answer on the Threads platform, encouraging others to do the same. 

Since she has met many celebrities working in hospitality, we were curious to know if she ever gets nervous when meeting famous people. “Celebrities don’t faze me but authors make me swoon,” Tamela told us. “I passed Lady Gaga’s credit card to her server without blinking. But last fall I met Deesha Philyaw and I still get misty-eyed thinking about that.”

Unfortunately, not all experiences meeting famous people were pleasant for her. After meeting one celebrity in particular, she had to change the opinion she had previously formed about them for the worse. “I always thought Andy Samberg was pretty cool until I met him one day in the West Village. He was a jerk.”

Having had unpleasant experiences with famous people, she believes that celebrities should always try their best to be nice to fans. “I think kindness is universal. No one should be expected to smile and acquiesce to every request from a stranger, but kindness is a currency and there’s never a good excuse to be rude or mean—unprovoked.”

To find out more about how fans should behave when meeting a famous person, we reached out to Kojenwa Moitt, CEO at Zebra Public Relations, and Jordan McAuley, founder of Contact Any Celebrity, who kindly agreed to give us some pointers. 

When thinking about approaching a celebrity, McAuley says that the best way to do it is to wait until they’re not talking to someone else. “Then politely ask if you can get a photo. Most will be able to oblige. If they say they can't, say thank you anyway and move on. Sometimes, celebrities rush to get to an event, catch a flight, be with their family, etc.”

However, it would be better to think twice before approaching a famous person if they’re talking to someone, in a rush, eating, in the bathroom, or in any other way you wouldn’t like to be interrupted, says McAuley. “Treat them like you would want to be treated.”

“It’s best not to approach a celebrity when they are about to take the stage to make a public comment,” added Moitt. “Contrary to popular belief, celebrities are also wracked full of nerves when they have an important speech or announcement to make.”

“I remember meeting Alicia Keys backstage at the Global Citizen concert in Central Park in New York one year, I had been granted backstage access. I was so stunned to see her in front of me, that we began chatting about life,” Moitt shared. 

“Soon the announcer called for her to take the stage and she perked up and reminded me immediately that she had to run. While I was grateful for this short interaction, it occurred to me that she would have needed that moment to gather herself and collect her thoughts. It is selfish to think that celebrities should always be ‘on,’ and I am genuinely irritated when I hear stories of celebrities dining out, later bombarded with requests from fans and strangers alike for their autographs.”

If you were lucky enough to approach the celebrity at a good time, during the interaction, McAuley advises avoiding talking too much about yourself. “Keep the focus on them. Tell the celebrity how much you appreciate their work, what movie or television show impacted you, and how much they inspire and entertain you. Don't be rude or condescending. Avoid telling them how much you don't like their hair or what they're wearing. Remember, celebrities are not objects; they are people, too.”

When meeting a celebrity, Moitt also recommends avoiding the following:

1. Avoid repeating gossip you may have heard on a blog. It's a true turn off.
2. Avoid stalking, it’s really scary.
3. Avoid jousting with someone who also wants to meet that same celebrity. See if you can wait your turn to make a real connection.
4. Avoid hogging the conversation to fill your ego, it’s really rude!
5. Avoid blurting out obscenities, it's super hurtful.
6. Avoid lunging at them, security detail will freak out!

Something else these experts urge to keep in mind when encountering famous people is that not all interactions with celebrities will be positive, and that’s okay. “If you're polite and respectful, most celebrities will be too,” says McAuley. “But everyone has a bad day. Sometimes, celebrities are in a rush, going through a breakup, are under stress, or don't want to be interrupted or photographed for various reasons. Sometimes, they're just insecure about how they look that day. Remember to be mindful and respectful. About 90% of your celebrity encounters will be positive. Know that about 10% will not be what you expected, and that's ok,” he reassured.

“It is realistic for fans to expect most celebrities to have positive encounters with them, but it is important to remember that just like us, celebrities have down days too,” seconds Moitt.

“Perhaps they have had negative experiences meeting fans also, that will put them on edge. Not everything goes right all the time and celebs have good days and bad days, just as we all do. The mantra here is “read the room.” After that Will Smith's slap at the Oscars was heard all across the world, we saw a bunch of paparazzi waiting outside of his hotel one day while finishing up some lunch. We wanted to hang around and wait for him to exit but thought better of it and went home. We knew he would be bombarded with questions after someone left a tip about where he had been staying!”