Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. We can't install a dating app, look for work in another city, or take up a new hobby because we tell ourselves, "That's not me." But when we think that we can't succeed, we don't even try. I know, it sounds corny, but most universal truths do.
Interested in what helps people to keep moving forward, Redditor u/Mememakermaker asked other users: "What advice did someone give you that changed your life?" And they were heard. As of this article, the post has received over 2.2K comments, many of which share tips on relationships, career, and other important areas. Here are some of the most upvoted ones.
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If you wouldn't take advice from them, why would you take criticism?
My therapist told me not to fight my drinking cravings, but rather to ignore them.
Instead of white knuckling it on the couch trying to ride it out, she suggested I find a project and keep myself busy instead.
It worked. Today I'm 41 days sober.
If something is worth doing, its worth doing badly.
At one point in my life I just did not want to do anything because of depression and anxiety and it sucked. I was brought up to believe "if something is worth doing, its worth doing right." So I decided because I didn't think i could get it right I wouldn't bother doing anything.
I read this, and realised I'd been doing it all wrong. I may not be able to get up and shave and shower and run 2 miles in the morning. But I can get dressed and brush my teeth. That'll do.
"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach there is, and there will still be people who don't like peaches" - Dita Von Teese
Used to stress about people liking me or not, stemming from different experiences as a kid. I read this quote and realised that I can be the best I can be, but I'm still not gonna be to everyone's taste, and that's alright. Helped me stress down almost entirely about that.
Not everything in your brain needs to come out of your mouth
Not quite advice, but a male co-worker said his wife was his best friend and I realized my husband and I weren't friends at all. tried to change the relationship but eventually left. 10 years later married a man who was my friend, still married 13 years and he is my best friend.
My husband and I knew we were soulmates within a few weeks. We were married 1 year later. Just had our 28th anniversary and most days together are still honeymoons.
My 5th grade teacher ms. Davis.
“If you are getting frustrated it’s perfectly ok to walk away for a bit a come back to the problem, it’s better to walk away and come back with a clear head then just getting more frustrated”
This was the first person I met that saw me and got me.
I was always told to think three things:
Does this need to be said?
Does this need to be said by me?
Does this need to be said by me right now?
If it’s a no on any of these, shut up.
Wow, this would dramatically reduce the comments here on B.P. (Oh, I shouldn't have said that)
Be the person your dog thinks you are.
Their expectations are just too high. If I am half the person my dog thinks I am, that's good.
Hating someone is like drinking poison yourself and waiting until it kills them.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison can also be the source of happiness. Be happy with little things, they are the important things in life. A lot of people live in horrible places.
Dont find someone to grow old with, find someone to stay forever young with.
"Good memories can be just as toxic as bad memories"
For people in bad friendships/romantic relationships, so many people hold on to the good times in the past, hoping that it'll be like that again. You remember how good things were at the start, and you convince yourself 'they're not that bad, remember that one good time.....", even though at present, you're being treated like sh*t.
But what's in the past has already happened. Your current reality is not that anymore. Good memories can really trap you in bad places if you're not careful.
This advice has definitely been a wake up call to me before.
I realized this in my last relationship. All the good times became far and few between. I would try to plan outings but he would decline or grumble. He didn't seem to be interested in family activities and would rather get high with his friends. Don't do drugs, people. Seriously. You could lose everyone in your life you would have loved if you had a clear head.
Not really advice, just a remark someone made a few times that hit home.. They said that most things people do have nothing to do with you, even if it’s directed at you. It really did change my life in that I hardly ever take things personal anymore.
Nobody knows what the [hell] they’re doing
Never have an argument with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you through experience
Or as I've seen it phrased - 'You can't reason someone out of a position that they didn't reason themselves into.'
"you don't have to know exactly how to do something. You just need to know that it can be done, and the rest can be figured out.". My former boss when I started my IT career. Changed how I looked at the problems I dealt with at work and at home.
In most of life, you don't need to have the answer memorized; you just need to know how to look it up or look up the tools to figure it out.
Wear sunscreen.
If you have psoriasis or eczema sunlight on your skin, twenty minutes a day at least, will do wonders in help clearing it up. I have psoriasis on my hands. I used to wear gloves when I drove. One day I had to get the horse ready for the vet. I was out there for over an hour in the sun, at one in the afternoon. It was 97 degrees, full sun. I had no gloves or hat, because I thought it would only take about twenty minutes max. Well, it didn't. BUT that evening and the next day I noticed that my psoriasis was MUCH diminished. Doctor said it was the ultraviolet rays. Since then no gloves when I drive and the psoriasis is much reduced.
ONLY worry about what you CAN control... which isn't very much.
Ehhh, I don't like this much. I can't control climate change, or the hurricane offshore, or if someone's angry with me - but I need to live in the world and prepare for bad weather and try to get politicians to take action, etc. I fully agree that we shouldn't let that worry overcome us - which is the hard part - but not worrying at all would mean we don't take actions that will protect us in the future.
A manager at my boring office job questioned my motives for being there, leading me to pivot completely, go back to school, and pursue a career in an industry im passionate about.
After graduating college I worked retail and food service for about 5 years before landing a decent paying office gig. I was pretty miserable there, but I always assumed that was the best path to success cuz it worked for my dad. I was in my managers office doing a quarterly review or something and she asked me the classic “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Since my dad started out as a programmer and worked his way up the corporate ladder, I’d always assumed that was the best way to success and happiness. So I told my manager “idk doing what you’re doing I guess.” “Why?” She asked. I responded “I mean…isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” And then she dropped a line that literally changed the course of my life: “Is what you WANT to do, or is it what you’re EXPECTED to do?”
Y’all, I was floored. I was at a loss for words making that ‘surprised Pikachu’ face. You know the one. After my review I went back to my desk and spent the rest of the day thinking about her question. I decided in the following weeks that being an office drone WAS NOT what I wanted to do so finally, at 27, I decided to forge my own path instead of doing what my parents/society expected me to do. I went back to school for media production (didn’t finish cuz I ran out of money/COVID) and here I am 4 years later with my first production job working teleprompter at a local news station. It’s not where I want to end and it’s been a long hard few years to get here, but it’s the foot in the door job that I’ve been searching for.
Honestly, great that they had a boss that actually looked out for them and their best interests, rather than trying to suck the soul out of their employees. I love good managers :)
Be curious not judgemental
Work is not like school. You don't hand-in an assignment and it's done. Instead, you constantly chip away at things over time. In my first job I was upset that my work was never "perfrct"/done like it was at school. This advice helped me shift my mindset so that I wasn't so hard on myself.
Consider what saying "yes" will cost you - time, energy, money, etc.
If you really can't part with what it would cost, then "no" is a statement of fact, and an act of self-respect.
Also, recognize that other people are allowed to be upset or have negative emotions, without it being your job to fix that - even if they say you're the source or reason.
Obviously if you've hurt someone with your words or actions you should apologize - but if someone's mad at you for not doing them a favor? Too bad. You're probably not their only option and they'll just have to learn to solve their own problems.
We're each responsible for our own happiness. We can choose to add to the happiness of others, but it's nobody's job to ensure someone else's happiness.
Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today,
Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you, because everyone is only thinking about themselves.
"Act like you have been there before."
It's just another way of saying be confident in yourself, but just saying "be confident," doesn't really tell you how to be confident. Saying "act like you have been there before" is more like instructions.
Act like you have been there before and risk making an @ss of yourself. Seen to many occasions where people embarrassed themselves because they acted like they knew how to act in a particular setting.
"You can't help people if you can't even help yourself."
You can't change what happend. No matter it was your fault or someone else messed it up. Don't be mad about it. Deal with the challenge.
Never borrow something you can't afford to replace; never loan something you can't afford to lose. Be your own best friend. Remember that people will not treat you the way you would like them to but they will treat you the best way they know how. Doesn't mean they don't care, just means they care differently. Be kind to your body.
I used to tell myself that I should always expect the worst, because then I won't be hurt if it turns out better than I expected, rather than expect good things to happen and be let down. I stopped living by this when I took advice from others and realised my stupid philosophy was preventing me from doing things and getting out of my comfort zone.
When I was in my early 20s there was this older, very classy looking lady who shopped where I worked. One day we were talking and she mentioned that she thought I was very skilled at makeup(I am from NJ where it's common to have a face full) but to please remember that "as we age, less is more." I thanked her but remembered thinking, "what does she know?!? less is less and more is better!" But her words came back to me as I got older and toned it down a bit. I am 60 now and realize what wonderful advice that was! I like a classy retro cat eye with bold lip but in a more natural toned down way that works for my age and looks. I get taken for younger constantly.
Just move, even a walk to the mailbox is lapping those on the couch.
baby animals learn the most important skill first,you first learned to ask for help.
Mother nature gives every single organism on the planet three options in order to deal with a stressor. Every organism that means people to. You adapt you migrate or you die. Do you know that saying that the strongest survive? Well that has nothing to do with absolute strength what it has to do with is adaptation.
I had a huge epiphany when I realised that certain things that happen to people are different for everyone. Having a baby, for example, is a totally different experience for each person, although fundamentally the same event.
Yes! The funny thing is that people expect you to have the same experience as them and often pressure you to do things ( or not do something) because it made THEM happy or sad, for example going to college.
I once asked my 82 y.o. grandmother why it was that everybody loved her. She had hundreds of friends all over the county (rural area). She had life friends that ranged from when she was a girl to friends she made recently who still called her & came to see her every now and then. She said, "I never give advice, even when asked. Also, I keep my opinions to myself". Hmm...best advice ever... even though she didn't mean it as advice.
But are those people then real friends if you cannot speak your own truth?
I think it's more that people need listening to rather than talking to. Even if they ask.
I have a few... 1.Never speak when you are angry... it's the best speech you ever regretted. 2. A bad day or week or month doesn't make a bad life. Move on. 3. It's not your job to change people's minds.Just present the facts.
My sister and I haven't spoken for 30 years. We cannot stand each other. But she said something to me once when we were young that saved my life. I use to get depressed and suicidal. She haphazardly said as she walked away from me (without really caring, I suspect): "It won't always be this way." Yeah, she was right about that. Things can change on a dime.
I used to self-criticize a lot. Like, every second of every day I'd talk myself down. In hindsight I think I've gotten really close to becoming actually depressed. At a certain point I became afraid that I was just born with a negative attitude towards myself and life in general, that I couldn't stop doing it. It messed up a lot of things for me. I sought help and the releasing words were "A baby isn't born thinking 'gee, I should've handled that better, I'm such a screw-up'. Self-criticism is almost always a product of feedback from your environment and how you see yourself in that environment. It's become a bad habit. And habits can always be unlearned." That really empowered me to start tackling the problem, because that meant I was back in control. Since then, I look at things I'm unhappy with and ask myself whether I'm in control of it or not. That opened a lot of doors towards happiness for me.
All of the 'don't worry about what other people think' ones. Do these people not have jobs? You have to worry about what other people think if you like being employed, or you live in a small town. It is literal survival.
"Is it worth being THIS upset in another hour? Day? Week? Month? Year?" If the answer is no to any of those... it's not worth the upset right now. Good advice, works on much.
Rich and poor people both feel the same when they're happy and sad (given to me by my 100 year old neighbor).
1. Pretend that you're confident. 2. If you're nervous about doing something, sit down, close your eyes, and visualize yourself doing the thing. Not the last part, but the entire action. What you'd like to say, how you'd like to move, what you'd like to look like.
We believe what we tell ourselves the most, so watch that inner monologue. Is is always negative? Change that to more positive. I used to tell myself that I was stupid. My husband reminded me that while I might make a stupid decision or choice, that did not mean that I was a stupid person. Now I just say , "Wow, that was dumb." Makes a difference.
TAKE THE RISK. It took me almost dying of cancer nine years ago to realize that I've led a rather staid and boring life. Now? I work in tourism/entertainment. I got my CDL and drive a bus. I have a motorcycle. I drove down the coast alone and went to Disney World. (Ok, not really a big one.) Don't be afraid to try - the worst that will happen is that you'll fail and learn something in the process.
I had a habit of dithering at work. I couldn't figure out what to do first, so I didn't do anything. My Office Manager asked me, "What do you need to get done today, tomorrow and at the end of the week." No more dithering, just get it done.
Nostalgia paves the roadway to the graveyard. Don't focus on what's done but what's still to do.
My grandmother always said 2 things that stuck with me... Always take care of your teeth, and always do your best in school. 2 of the best pieces of advice
I’m sorry people but life is full of ups and downs and a s**t load of curveballs. We don’t live in Disneyland and we cannot reduce life to a saying on a bumper sticker
Or on a t-shirt. Don't forget the flippin' t-shirts "Live Laugh Love" is my pet hate.
Never borrow something you can't afford to replace; never loan something you can't afford to lose. Be your own best friend. Remember that people will not treat you the way you would like them to but they will treat you the best way they know how. Doesn't mean they don't care, just means they care differently. Be kind to your body.
I used to tell myself that I should always expect the worst, because then I won't be hurt if it turns out better than I expected, rather than expect good things to happen and be let down. I stopped living by this when I took advice from others and realised my stupid philosophy was preventing me from doing things and getting out of my comfort zone.
When I was in my early 20s there was this older, very classy looking lady who shopped where I worked. One day we were talking and she mentioned that she thought I was very skilled at makeup(I am from NJ where it's common to have a face full) but to please remember that "as we age, less is more." I thanked her but remembered thinking, "what does she know?!? less is less and more is better!" But her words came back to me as I got older and toned it down a bit. I am 60 now and realize what wonderful advice that was! I like a classy retro cat eye with bold lip but in a more natural toned down way that works for my age and looks. I get taken for younger constantly.
Just move, even a walk to the mailbox is lapping those on the couch.
baby animals learn the most important skill first,you first learned to ask for help.
Mother nature gives every single organism on the planet three options in order to deal with a stressor. Every organism that means people to. You adapt you migrate or you die. Do you know that saying that the strongest survive? Well that has nothing to do with absolute strength what it has to do with is adaptation.
I had a huge epiphany when I realised that certain things that happen to people are different for everyone. Having a baby, for example, is a totally different experience for each person, although fundamentally the same event.
Yes! The funny thing is that people expect you to have the same experience as them and often pressure you to do things ( or not do something) because it made THEM happy or sad, for example going to college.
I once asked my 82 y.o. grandmother why it was that everybody loved her. She had hundreds of friends all over the county (rural area). She had life friends that ranged from when she was a girl to friends she made recently who still called her & came to see her every now and then. She said, "I never give advice, even when asked. Also, I keep my opinions to myself". Hmm...best advice ever... even though she didn't mean it as advice.
But are those people then real friends if you cannot speak your own truth?
I think it's more that people need listening to rather than talking to. Even if they ask.
I have a few... 1.Never speak when you are angry... it's the best speech you ever regretted. 2. A bad day or week or month doesn't make a bad life. Move on. 3. It's not your job to change people's minds.Just present the facts.
My sister and I haven't spoken for 30 years. We cannot stand each other. But she said something to me once when we were young that saved my life. I use to get depressed and suicidal. She haphazardly said as she walked away from me (without really caring, I suspect): "It won't always be this way." Yeah, she was right about that. Things can change on a dime.
I used to self-criticize a lot. Like, every second of every day I'd talk myself down. In hindsight I think I've gotten really close to becoming actually depressed. At a certain point I became afraid that I was just born with a negative attitude towards myself and life in general, that I couldn't stop doing it. It messed up a lot of things for me. I sought help and the releasing words were "A baby isn't born thinking 'gee, I should've handled that better, I'm such a screw-up'. Self-criticism is almost always a product of feedback from your environment and how you see yourself in that environment. It's become a bad habit. And habits can always be unlearned." That really empowered me to start tackling the problem, because that meant I was back in control. Since then, I look at things I'm unhappy with and ask myself whether I'm in control of it or not. That opened a lot of doors towards happiness for me.
All of the 'don't worry about what other people think' ones. Do these people not have jobs? You have to worry about what other people think if you like being employed, or you live in a small town. It is literal survival.
"Is it worth being THIS upset in another hour? Day? Week? Month? Year?" If the answer is no to any of those... it's not worth the upset right now. Good advice, works on much.
Rich and poor people both feel the same when they're happy and sad (given to me by my 100 year old neighbor).
1. Pretend that you're confident. 2. If you're nervous about doing something, sit down, close your eyes, and visualize yourself doing the thing. Not the last part, but the entire action. What you'd like to say, how you'd like to move, what you'd like to look like.
We believe what we tell ourselves the most, so watch that inner monologue. Is is always negative? Change that to more positive. I used to tell myself that I was stupid. My husband reminded me that while I might make a stupid decision or choice, that did not mean that I was a stupid person. Now I just say , "Wow, that was dumb." Makes a difference.
TAKE THE RISK. It took me almost dying of cancer nine years ago to realize that I've led a rather staid and boring life. Now? I work in tourism/entertainment. I got my CDL and drive a bus. I have a motorcycle. I drove down the coast alone and went to Disney World. (Ok, not really a big one.) Don't be afraid to try - the worst that will happen is that you'll fail and learn something in the process.
I had a habit of dithering at work. I couldn't figure out what to do first, so I didn't do anything. My Office Manager asked me, "What do you need to get done today, tomorrow and at the end of the week." No more dithering, just get it done.
Nostalgia paves the roadway to the graveyard. Don't focus on what's done but what's still to do.
My grandmother always said 2 things that stuck with me... Always take care of your teeth, and always do your best in school. 2 of the best pieces of advice
I’m sorry people but life is full of ups and downs and a s**t load of curveballs. We don’t live in Disneyland and we cannot reduce life to a saying on a bumper sticker
Or on a t-shirt. Don't forget the flippin' t-shirts "Live Laugh Love" is my pet hate.