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“Learning To Not Be Angry”: 39 People Share The Best Decisions In Their Life
Interview With Expert
Sometimes, we find ourselves stuck at a crossroads, unsure of what to do next. It’s no wonder—choices can feel overwhelming, especially when they have the power to shape our future.
But making a move instead of staying in one place can really pay off. Just ask the people in this Reddit thread who shared the best decisions they’ve made that transformed their lives for the better.
Find their stories below, and don’t miss our conversation with spiritual career coach Rebecca Kirk, who provides guidance on how to rely on your intuition when it matters most.
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#1
One day when I was 14, I checked the mail when I got home from school. My mom had a habit of throwing away anything addressed to me and saying it was junk mail.
But this day I got to the mail first and found a flyer for a summer camp (free!) at a local college. I never would have known about it otherwise.
At that camp, I learned about a public school that was residential (and free!) for math and science focused students. The Catholic school I was attending at the time worked hard to keep students from finding out about this place.
I found out about the school with only a few months to spare in order to submit my application. And I got in.
That school changed my life. It got me out of a deeply toxic household, connected me with treatment for my depression, and set me up for college in a way I never otherwise could have accessed.
I was a first generation college student, but that school connected me to scholarships, introduced me to faculty, and gave me lab work skills all before I graduated high school. I went to undergrad and grad school on a full ride and I’m a college professor now.
And I never would have gone down this path at all, but for checking the mail that day.
Various sources suggest that the average adult makes between 33,000 and 35,000 decisions each day—an astonishing number that’s akin to the seats in a sports stadium. Now, imagine processing all that in just 24 hours!
That figure might sound unrealistic, even silly, but the truth is that many of these choices happen automatically, driven by the information we’ve subconsciously stored about what is “good” or “bad.” Gerald Zaltman, a professor at Harvard Business School, notes that 95% of our cognition occurs in the subconscious mind. This is essential; our brains would overload if we had to evaluate over 30,000 decisions individually.
However, when it comes to more intentional decisions—like applying for a new job, entering a relationship, or moving to a different city—these choices demand significantly more mental effort. The more we deliberate, the more we may hesitate.
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#2
Getting my cat. She's my world and probably the only reason I'm still alive.
Deborah B 3 months ago
People who've never had a pet as an adult can underestimate how much a cat or dog can help your emotional and mental state. I'm disabled and live alone. My cat is my companion. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde "A pet provides you with company without depriving you of solitude."
#3
My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer while I was in the midst of the busiest time of my career, working for a company that demanded long hours and had peak 2010s 'hustle culture' vibes.
From the moment of her diagnosis, I immediately told my company they were taking the backseat and her health and spending time with her was my only priority, and I wouldn't waver on it.
What followed was a heartbreaking, frustrating, and upsetting time where her health rapidly deteriorated. But the time allowed her and I to have conversations and moments that are among the most beautiful moments of my life.
I helped her through anguishing pain and reciprocated a small amount of the love and sacrifice she gave to me when she was a single mother raising me.
In the end, my employer was fine. My job was safe. My career endured. My mom passed away eight weeks after we learned about that stupid disease.
The only solace was that I decided to spend as much time as possible with her and actually did it.
So, how can we improve our ability to make decisions that feel like they could alter the course of our lives?
To gain some insight, Bored Panda reached out to spiritual career coach Rebecca Kirk, author of You’re Here for a Reason.
“By learning to listen to our intuitive voice—often felt as a gut feeling, an excited wave of energy, or sometimes just a faint whisper,” Kirk explains.
“But it’s not only about listening to that voice,” she insists. “It’s also about having the courage to act on it, especially when it doesn’t make total sense to your logical mind. There are signals within your body that, when connected with, can save you from overthinking.”
When contemplating a decision, our intuition often surfaces first, only to be followed by our logical mind, which can sometimes talk us out of it. “I see this with my coaching clients considering a career change. They might have a sense of a more fulfilling path, but fear of potential pitfalls takes over, leading them to dismiss it,” Kirk says.
#4
I’m not entirely sober, but I’ve gone from drinking a few nights a week to drinking a few nights a month, and aiming to decrease that as well to just social occasions.
And I’ve also been drinking less on the evening I do drink. It’s been a good change.
#5
Learning to not be angry, hurt & bitter & to just to simply be done with certain individuals & or circumstances.
#6
When I finally broke free of the toxic religious church I grew up in. When I finally accepted me for myself without feeling guilt or shame, I felt a huge weight lifted.
Alexia 3 months ago (edited)
Oh, I feel this one. I've wasted years of my life trying to live by my former church's norms. Until I realized the priests were just enabling domestic violence and abuse towards women and children. That I, as a woman, must accept to be humiliated, insulted, screamed at, left behind, and work like a slave for "my man", because this was God's will. Thanks, but no thanks.
Intuition can indeed be elusive. Many people argue it pales in comparison to the tangible weight of facts.
“I believe both intuition and facts are crucial and each has its place in decision-making,” Kirk states. “However, society has placed too much emphasis on facts, causing us to disconnect from one of our greatest gifts—our innate intuition.”
“Sometimes, facts can only take us so far. I love this quote by Einstein, which captures the relationship between the two: ‘The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.’ Once we’ve listened to our intuition, we can then call on logic to help us implement our decisions.”
To amplify that internal voice and shed light on our uncertainties, Kirk recommends stepping back from the decision-making process for a while.
“Get outside, meditate, and create space for the answers to emerge,” she suggests. “Also, reflect on what might be holding you back. Is there an underlying fear, like the fear of making a mistake or worrying about others’ opinions regarding your heartfelt choices?”
“Trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way. There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision—only opportunities for growth and evolution,” Kirk adds. “Consider that the consequences of indecision might actually be worse than those of making a choice! It can leave us in a stagnant state, draining our time, energy, and mental space from something more productive.”
#8
Reading more books.
#9
Getting sober.
#10
Losing 80lbs. It took me about a year and I got started in the depth of COVID where I really started to realize my body and habits were seriously unhealthy.
Made transitioning into college and so much easier with so much more confidence.
#11
Sending a bit of a hail Mary job application when I was in a rut. I was drunk when writing it. Ended up on a nice career path that has lasted for over a decade now.
Avoidance_Panda 3 months ago
Feel like I want to know where the heck you sent it? And if you wrote it drunk how'd you manage to form something that didn't look like a 15 year olds attempt at a CV.... I just have questions...lol
#12
When I was a freshman in college a friend of mine from high school who was going to the same college set me up for a date at a dance with one of her sorority sisters. Date went great and I really liked this girl. She called me about a week later to arrange to give me a copy of the photo we had taken together at the dance. This was way before smartphones and messaging. We talked for a good hour about various things and I kept trying to work in asking her out for another date, but I chickened out. Once we hung up I hit my head hard with the phone receiver several times, swearing at myself, and I immediately called her back and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and a movie that Friday and she said yes. That was in early 1997 and we’re still happily married. She’s also still hot, so bonus points for me!
#13
Stopped caring about other people's opinions of how I live my life.
Mama Clare 3 months ago
I read somewhere - "What other people think of you is none of your business"
#14
Going on birth control to stop my horrendous periods - it turned out that I had endometriosis and for years doctors just told me to "take a tylenol and deal with it." I haven't had a period in six years and I'm not anemic or severely underweight anymore, plus I can wear light-colored clothing and not have to worry about ruining any of it! I also don't have to call off work for cramps so bad that I'm throwing up.
#16
Joining a union.
Pencil McGovern 3 months ago (edited)
The middle class is the backbone of America and unions are the backbone of the middle class. If you're not in a union, you can join or even form one. Start here: https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlrb/who-we-are/regional-offices
#17
Getting divorced.
Joshua Moore 3 months ago
I couldn’t agree with this more. I left an extremely toxic, emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. I know my children are far better off growing up in two separate households and not the same household I grew up in. Both myself and my children are in such a better place now. Financially, things can still get strained from time to time, but that’s a small price to pay to get out of that terrible situation.
#19
Getting a dog that I honestly didn’t want. But he started playing with another dog, now me and that other dog’s owner are getting married.
#20
Quitting my highly toxic job and took a long sabbatical by traveling around US in 80 days last year. The decision was compounded by chronic anxiety and depression and a death of a dear friend. I realized life is way too short and decided to live it on my own terms before it's too late.
EDIT: Thank you all kind strangers for the kind words and support, much appreciated!
Comment Deleted 3 months ago
Moving across the country , quitting jobs and traveling for 80 days....wow now how about something for people who have zero extra funds and cannot afford to just up and quit their lives. I would love love love to just up and move or quit my hated job but do not want or need to end up homeless.
#21
A little over a year ago I dropped everything and moved to the other side of the country. Fresh start. I got a great job now. My own apartment. And it snows here!
Brian Droste 3 months ago (edited)
I have only lived in 2 states that have snow. Where I live, we don't get a whole of snow but I don't like driving in it or have to deal with it. I am retired now so if I don't have to drive in it in if I don't have to.
#22
Joining the Air Force. Second best decision: getting out of the Air Force.
#23
Going to community College. I left high school with like a 2.3 GPA, not entirely sure but it wasn't great. Im now leaving community College with an associates degree, a 3.75 GPA, a couple thousand bucks saved on tuition, and many more options to move toward as far as which colleges I can get into now.
Ilikemybooksshakennotstirred 3 months ago
Hey, congrats! Similar thing with me : had to do packets to graduate HS, ended up with a 1.9 gpa (SEVERE depression and anxiety were the causes) went to community college, graduated with 3.48 gpa, then university with a 3.5
#25
Going into therapy—schema therapy—was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Changed my whole life and view on myself, others and the world.
Multa Nocte 3 months ago
From Wikipedia: "Schema therapy was developed by Jeffrey E. Young for use in treatment of personality disorders and chronic DSM Axis I disorders, such as when patients fail to respond or relapse after having been through other therapies (for example, traditional cognitive behavioral therapy). Schema therapy is an integrative psychotherapy combining theory and techniques from previously existing therapies, including cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalytic object relations theory, attachment theory, and Gestalt therapy."
#27
Taking psychedelic mushrooms, with friends, when I was 20. Completely changed my perspective on life, I went from being a “pave the planet” republican to being an active member of the local Green Party, in 1989.
Avoidance_Panda 3 months ago
Think we had different mushrooms.... I fell through the floor into a magical underworld....
#28
Quitting drinking.
Except then I started drinking again after a bunch of time and miraculously, all of my health problems I had gotten rid of, came back!
So I’m stopping again.
Pandemonium 3 months ago
A sober community might help - and you might help others in a sober community. I'm pulling for you!
#29
Marrying my wife.
cerinamroth 3 months ago
May you have many happy and healthy years ahead of you! Love is fantastic!
#32
I haven't lived a long time but till now. But the best decision i made was stop watching porn. I realised how much energy and time i was wasting all for a pleasure that lasts mere minutes.
#35
Going to college. While I haven't gotten a job remotely even close to the fields I went for, and now have a seemingly insurmountable amount of crippling and stress inducing debt, I met my best friend there. And because I did that, I moved to his state to be his roommate. And because of that, I eventually met the woman who is now my wife.
#36
Installing a bidet toilet seat.
Jessica Cooney 3 months ago
Having a bidet has saved us so much money on toilet paper and wet wipes. While I still buy TP, its maybe once a month at most, and we only need wet wipes for when we go travelling.
#38
Switched to moisture wicking boxer briefs.
I made sure my sons knew that these exist so they won’t have to suffer with cotton like we did.
cerinamroth 3 months ago
For those of us with different nethers, could you explain what the problem was? Sweaty balls? Or something else? I have a little boy and I would like to be prepared for the future!
#39
Switched to boxer briefs.
What do you think ?
Gavin Johnson 3 months ago
My very best decision was at a time when I was at my lowest low. I was under the care of my local crisis team, I was suicidal, I’d attempted to take my own life. My psychiatrist asked me to try Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. Through a fog of mental health issues I managed to get myself there and my decision to accept help and make sure I attended and embraced the therapy has turned my life around. I’m now well out off my darkest days, I’m still combatting mental health issues but I am not suicidal and I am able to bring perspective to the situations I find my self in. Life isn’t all roses but I’m alive, I have an awesome partner, a beautiful daughter and family who are my biggest support network. One decision to do ACT saved my life and changed it in so many positive ways. If you are reading this and need some love and light then I’m sending you tons. You are valuable and I hope you find your path. ❤️
A Jones 3 months ago
Striving to be content instead of striving to be happy. Happiness is like sadness, it's temporary and okay to have. But being content is more solid and lasts longer. Being content is where I find more peace, have more appreciation, and not be spoiled.
LovePsychos 3 months ago
My best decision is following my partner abroad. Left a horrible country that got worse after I left. I would never move back... Alive.
Gavin Johnson 3 months ago
My very best decision was at a time when I was at my lowest low. I was under the care of my local crisis team, I was suicidal, I’d attempted to take my own life. My psychiatrist asked me to try Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. Through a fog of mental health issues I managed to get myself there and my decision to accept help and make sure I attended and embraced the therapy has turned my life around. I’m now well out off my darkest days, I’m still combatting mental health issues but I am not suicidal and I am able to bring perspective to the situations I find my self in. Life isn’t all roses but I’m alive, I have an awesome partner, a beautiful daughter and family who are my biggest support network. One decision to do ACT saved my life and changed it in so many positive ways. If you are reading this and need some love and light then I’m sending you tons. You are valuable and I hope you find your path. ❤️
A Jones 3 months ago
Striving to be content instead of striving to be happy. Happiness is like sadness, it's temporary and okay to have. But being content is more solid and lasts longer. Being content is where I find more peace, have more appreciation, and not be spoiled.
LovePsychos 3 months ago
My best decision is following my partner abroad. Left a horrible country that got worse after I left. I would never move back... Alive.
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