He sounds GREAT!

so true (coughs) Donald trump...

true story

Cracked me up so hard i got in trouble in class for laughing to loud and was getting a number of looks. This is so funny but so smart at the same time!

Squirted coffee on my monitor from laughing

I believe this must be pounds, and then it would be 135 kgs to 81 kgs. Does not sound bad!

That's a paid vacation!

Nothing could be more true then this. Just do it if you are alone and want friends, true friends.

Way to take one for the team!

The world in 2018 with poverty, wars, no actions against pollution, etc. etc., i.e. mankind having all the means but not the will to enable everyone, in particularly future generations, in having a good life.

Dreadpool

Oh, that's mean!

Wow! :D Where do you people find time to think about this!

From a man to ladies: you might think the hints you give are very obvious, but they are not! And if you like a man, make the first step yourself. Don't get upset if a man doesn't get your "obvious" hints.

What a horrible thought, and what a waste for that room. I would turn it into a cozy area to play video games that I do not have time for, read the books I always wanted to read, and spend time with loved-ones when days are too stressful.

An experiment was recently completed that shows that particles can change upon observation, so this may not be so far fetched after all.

UMM dont worry im sure thats normal

I'd get really mad at myself for not having the apartment clean. And also have to resist the urge to kiss him.

But if it's obbligatory, make that test be free of charge, or at least, discounted.

Tomatoes, I suspect.

This is happening right now!!!!

Julia Roberts would be perfect the Hollywood adaption of this story.

When logic is both a winner and a loser!

R.I.P.

I once asked someone (A non-drinker), what would you possibly do, if you are way to much drunk, Response: I won't remember a thing I guess. Friends for life.

This is 100% true

Female orgasm

stop stop no really seriously wait my god

Columbus, every time the Flat Earthers open their mouths.

Dr. Jonas Salk, every time an anti-vaxxer opens their mouth.

Spinning? He's be doing a full f*****g gymnastics routine

George Washington--just feel that breeze.

Anne Frank. BC of the people who believe the Holocaust never happened.

Energy crisis solved.

Martin Luther King Jr would be doing circus flips in horror

St. Paul, having seen what Christianity has turned into.

My body can generate motion from a state of rest... :D Seriously though, who's suggesting this?

Founding fathers of USA.

I suppose George Washington at the state of the country he fought for

Mahatma Gandhi. There’s multiple acts of unwarranted violence in the world every single second.

Nice!

Well done!

Start reading the instruction manuals

I feel like I'm in a foreign culture where everybody knows the customs, the language and how to interact but me, and I'm just here terrified I'm going to try to say something nice but end up calling someone's mother a whore.

Snort coke.

Zimbabwean Dollars. 10 billion is surely going to require more than a briefcase in most other dollar currencies!

Wow...that could have gone really wrong.