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We've seen people on the internet talking about red and green flags in romantic relationships, but lately, there has been a lot of fuss about another color.

TikToker Caito (@itscaito) coined the term "beige flag" in one of her videos from a year ago, where she explained that it's a sign that someone's really, really boring to date.

@itscaito beige is the new red and in other news dating apps are a wasteland 🚩 #hinge #redflags #datingredflags #hingedating ♬ original sound - Caito

However, since then, folks have evolved it, making the beige flag something in between the red and green ones. Now, this sign is understood to be more like a personal quirk that catches your attention, a mannerism that makes you pause and think, "Hmmm... that's a bit odd" without fully understanding if it's good or bad.

(For reference, think of when Anatoly Dyatlov in HBO's Chernobyl heard the radiation reading and said: "3.6 [Roentgen] — not great, not terrible.")

So to give you a better understanding of the latest online dating slang, we compiled some of the most popular beige flags that we've seen.

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    #6

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    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking all the questions on people who do this is amazing, because they answer. Not sure if always honest or true.

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    #7

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    #9

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    similarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone with high-functioning autism, this sounds like it might be Autism Spectrum Disorder. Many High Functioning Autistic people have trouble with chatting and casual conversation. The fact he has to google topics for conversation hints he might be having trouble with casual social skills and is making an effort to compensate. Likewise, the fact he asks intimate questions in a room full of people suggests he has trouble understanding social propriety and boundaries, another thing difficult for people with autism.

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    #10

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    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put him in front of a mirror and tell him that he is cute and a keeper, because he is actually listening to you. My one, I could tell him 200 times how a watch is beautiful and he would still show up on valentines or birthdays with something else but the watch.

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    #19

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    similarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In high school, my brother loved convincing people that "gullible" wasn't actually in the dictionary.

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    #20

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    similarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've often said that it's as selfish to refuse to receive as it is to refuse to give, because in refusing to receive we are denying other people the opportunity to be generous and we are refusing to be grateful to other, instead insisting they always be indebted to us. Generosity sometimes means allowing others to be generous too.

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    #21

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    Em
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    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100% me. Not hypochondria or attention seeking, my body is just a POS. I either try not to comment on it because I can absolutely see how this would be annoying, or I make it a joke, like, ugh, what's broken on me now?

    Veronica Jean
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not trying to be a jerk, but I used to have something very similar before I found out I had a hormone disorder and several food sensitivities. I remember there was a time in my life I thought always having either a stomach ache, a headache, or just feeling off was normal. I assumed everybody felt this way. Not trying to belittle your life experience, but if you're bad feelings are less repeated injuries and more What I described above, it is worth getting checked ❤️

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    AndThenICommented
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she just problems with inflammation or an allergy and doesn’t know it? OP seems a bit judged IMO but then again I was like his girlfriend until I figured out my own dietary and environmental triggers then it was like I had a new body

    Deb M.F.
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda an a*****e move to dismiss someone's health concerns

    Phil Vaive
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He didn't say he dismisses it though...it's just a neutral thing she does that he's aware of

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    HeavyMetalHeart
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions so yeah… same. And I honestly can’t imagine what 100% health even feels like. It’s a wild concept to me.

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love your username. And I'm in the same boat. Haven't had 100% health since I was a tiny tot, I don't think.

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    Caline Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people are just physically weaker all around. eg. Me. I sprain my thumb on one day(it takes forever to heal). I stub my toe so badly it hurts 2 months in. Different parts of the body hurts relating to monthly female probs. Back aching for sitting down too long. Fingers hurt for typing too much. After a couple of kids and getting older, minor issues like these are just a given...

    KnightOwl
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone with a family full of people with a lot of health issues and chronic pain (as well as many autistic people with sensory issues) this is my life. I have fibromyalga, severe asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, I get cluster migraines and suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD, every day is a battle. I never know how I'll feel from day to day and can't make plans more than a few days ahead. Most of my family have similar health issues, (some have things way worse) loads of us have sensory issues too so we're hyper aware of every twinge or muscle cramp and even if it's not very painful it feels unbearable to us and we often have to tell people around us as we may become distracted and may struggle to focus on our surroundings. I can't even imagine living life without constant health issues/aches and pains, the mental health issues don't help either as I sometimes struggle to do simple things, like get out of bed or shower, for days on end.

    Persephone
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I Know how you feel; it being dismissed as "hypochondria" is insulting to anyone going thru this. This person needs to be more supportive to their g.f.; this could be frequent injuries due to adhd, neuropathy, autoimmune disorders, etc. Not being understood or heard by someone you trust, can lead to justifiable depression.

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    Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I loathe it when someone that matters to me dismisses chronic illness. A dear friend just told me if her "91 year old mother can walk 2 blocks, so can you". I stopped answering her calls.

    RegMcNug
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m the same way lol. For me, it’s a symptom of my anxiety

    cartoon.ghostss
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me lmao I'm like always injured in some way. I complain constantly but I don't particularly want attention as I'm never badly injured, it's just a way to release frustration

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t worry. Once you get older, you’ll start chiming in with your own aches and pains. She’s just got a good lead on you. But you’ll catch up and pass her in a few years.

    Ash
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my case, it's fibromyalgia. It's okay if you can't handle it in a relationship, but please try not to gaslight her about it. Even if she WERE making it up, it's a sign that she really needs people to care about her and show her some attention.

    Aisling Raye
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This feels like a bright red "I have to be the center of attention at all times" flag... buts that any opinion and if OP loves her, and sees the flag as beige, that's all good too. I'm not about to pass judgement on someone I don't know.

    similarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very, very, very mild case of Munchausen's syndrome? Does she come from a very large, very busy family? I've known some people either from very large families or with parents who are otherwise preoccupied, and the parents kind of took the attitude that as long as the child wasn't hurt or sick, the parents didn't need to pay attention to them. So whenever the child wanted attention, they'd suddenly be hurt or sick. This can get to be a habit.

    Osprey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my husband, ditto. & just keep complaining instead of taking a f n head powder

    ProudBoy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some females just do this on purpose for attention and in order to validate their low self esteem.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes people are very acutely aware that something is decidedly not right with their bodies.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yep my ex permanently had headaches and the new one has random s**t happen as well. Meantime I haven't been sick since like 2019.

    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I have a bump!" Classic one from my unable-to-go-to-sleep younger daughter, back when she was 6-8. Some of the others? "My toenails are rubbing on the sheet, my sister's hair is making too much noise (huh?), my hip just started hurting from where I got hit with a ball during recess 2 days ago" and others. The family favorite is still "the bump" though.

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We should note at least in passing that depression exacerbates pain, and thus there may indeed be a health issue present, just not where you're looking.

    WFH Forever
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ehlers Danlos Syndrome - when all your connective tissue is messed up. Can dislocate a finger by trying to write a letter.

    Sara Wilson
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would call that a red flag. This will only get worse and seems to maybe be hypochondria?

    Kady LaHaie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my mother in law. The woman has had thousands of ailments over 30 years..her doctors are rich af

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not flag of any sort. That's just a human being human.

    NanaJo430
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is not a beige flag. It is a red one. Her aches and pains will become larger and more debilitating as long as you feed into her hypochondria. I've seen two ladies like this.

    Roan The Demon Kitty
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is me, but to be fair.. when you have Fibromyalgia, autism, schizophrenia, DID, gallstones and Porphyria, it's hard to feel 100% , but I try :') xD

    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Age matters. Younger me this was never a thing. Older me this is usually just the truth though I don't verbalize it all the time.

    Persephone
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a red flag on you, not your girlfriend. You need to believe her and support a solution. Pain is real, and if you don't listen, you will demolish your relationship, trustworthiness, hurt her, and never grow as a person. ADHD and other issues can cause frequent injuries (too focused on succeeding at a task to realize you may get hurt, esp in an emergency); she could also have an autoimmune disorder like fibromyalgia. Take it seriously. Don't p**n it off to being all in her head. It could be depression, but I feel like there is often more going on that may lead to depression without proper support. Be supportive. Depression isn't always a chronic diagnosis; it's frequently a justified emotional outcome.

    Persephone
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get hurt all the time (thanks ADHD). I'm not being a hypochondriac, but I'm sure my employer and ex believed that. I literally crushed my patella running with my dog and tore a meniscus (this can relapse into being re-aggravated), have had broken and dislocated fingers before,from a wet nylon leash while dealing with the dog at bath time (he's not bad, he just pulls or leans and weighs 125 lbs and it was my mistake); then broke a pinky toe on a baby gate running after my toddler bc I was afraid she was going to hurt herself. That pinky toe was the worst bc I reset it, but it didn't heal quite right. I couldn't afford to take time off of work for a freaking toe. The crazy thing is, I have had horses my entire life; I joke about my current horse has given me fewer injuries than my dog and daughter in the last 4 years. I have still have had many broken bones in the past, and puncture wounds from working at my barn. Lesser known ADHD hallmark: Frequent injuries due to hypervigilence.

    Sammie 19
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I went through that for years before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Even now more than 20 years after being diagnosed every thing that comes up is attributed to my fibro. I've had years of problems with my right hip. Fibromyalgia. One time I asked an er doc for an x-ray on my hip without mentioning fibro and it was done. Basically my hip is crumbling and because of my problems with anaesthetic they refuse to replace it. Leaving me in a wheelchair. Sucks

    Calvin Smelliott
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My M was like that. She was ~never~ healthy. She once tried telling me she broke her leg but didn't go to the doctor because it would heal on its own. Amazingly, she was healed the next day!!! What a miracle! She also broke her ankle once. That too was healed the next day. Another miracle! Lol. Love and miss you Mom!

    Exotic Butters
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She wants attention all the time and she gets it by being hurt/sick. Maybe that was when she felt most loved and cared for when growing up

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking for attention maybe ? I meet a person like this that grow up with a sick sibling having all the attentions, he then started doing the "never 100% health to have the attention of his friends.

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    Nina
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I friggin hate when people do that! Didn't you read the rest? Is your brain function that limited? Why?!

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    #23

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    Sue Denham
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my children went through this phase I'd pretend to not know what they wanted until they spoke properly. (And, yes, they were fully able to articulate clearly.)

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    #24

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    Johnny
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why that would make the waiter embarrassed - he'll either have an actual favorite that he'll recommend, if not then he'll pick something at random from the menu (or something expensive)... or maybe the manager said "hey, we've got too much fish, so push the fish!" and recommend that. Not sure where the discomfort would come from unless the waiter was so unfamiliar with the menu that he couldnt think of a single dish to recommend.

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    #25

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    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm like that and I'm a woman. If they want to say, they will tell me - that's my reasoning.

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    #26

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    Susan Green
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    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he thinks it’s a beige flag that you call yourself a scheduled girly.

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    #28

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    Phil Vaive
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is me, and this is apparently very common in people who have ADHD (not saying she does). I hate having notifications hanging over me, so I open the message, and if I'm in the right mood I'll respond. But sometimes I think "I'll get back to it later" and then totally forget the message ever existed until the next time I think to text that person.

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    #31

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    RaroaRaroa
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like social anxiety to me. We don't speak because once, many years ago, we said something that sounded really awkward and remembering it still makes us physically cringe. We're afraid we'll do it again.

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    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Green flag = he seems to be responsible as he doesn't want to miss work/ school. Red flag : your sleep is important too and he should consider it. After you prove to him many times and he still doesn't believe that alarm will go of.

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