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New Mom Sets Boundaries With Heavy-Smoking MIL Over Third-Hand Smoke Risks

New Mom Sets Boundaries With Heavy-Smoking MIL Over Third-Hand Smoke Risks

New Mom Sets Boundaries With Heavy-Smoking MIL Over Third-Hand Smoke RisksExpectant Mom Bans MIL From Baby Time Unless She Showers In Fear Of Third-Hand Smoke RisksMom Draws The Line With Smoking MIL Over Third-Hand Smoke Risks To Her BabyMom Asks Heavy-Smoking MIL To Shower And Change Before Holding BabyNew Mom Asks Smoking Mother-In-Law To Shower And Change Before Baby TimeMom Is Very Worried About Third-Hand Smoke: Expectant Mom Bans Mother-In-Law From Holding Her Baby Unless She Showers First
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Slate magazine has an advice column and podcast called “Care and Feeding,” which addresses readers’ questions about kids, parents, and family life.

One time, they received a letter from a woman expecting her first baby. She shared her excitement about the upcoming arrival but expressed concern about navigating a delicate situation with her mother-in-law.

After learning about the dangers of third-hand smoke, she and her husband wanted to protect their baby but were worried about how to communicate these boundaries without causing hurt feelings.

RELATED:

    Smoking is more than a personal habit—it can affect the people around you

    Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    So this woman asked an advice column about setting boundaries for her baby’s safety

    Image credits:  SLATE

    The reply she received validated her concerns, but also gave practical advice

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    Image credits: Sarah Chai / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    There’s some truth to the mom’s worries

    According to Jon O. Ebbert, M.D., whose research at Mayo Clinic focuses on disease prevention, early cancer detection and digital health care, thirdhand smoke is made up of the pollutants that settle as tobacco is smoked.

    “The chemicals in thirdhand smoke include nicotine as well as cancer-causing substances such as formaldehyde, naphthalene and others,” he said.

    “Thirdhand smoke builds up on surfaces over time. It can become embedded in most soft surfaces such as clothing, furniture, drapes, bedding, and carpets. It also settles as dust-like particles on hard surfaces like walls, floors, and in vehicles. Thirdhand smoke can remain for many months, even after smoking has stopped.

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    Ebbert highlighted that thirdhand smoke poses a potential health hazard to nonsmokers — especially children. “Substances in thirdhand smoke are known to be hazardous to health. People are exposed to the chemicals in thirdhand smoke when they touch contaminated surfaces or breathe in the gases that thirdhand smoke may release,” he added.

    Part of the reason why infants and young children are at greater risk for exposure to thirdhand smoke than adults is because how they interact with the environment: the littles are eager to crawl around and put the things that are around them in their mouths.

    Furthermore, Ebbert said thirdhand smoke cannot be eliminated by airing out rooms, opening windows, using fans or air conditioners, or confining smoking to only certain areas of a home. Traditional household cleaning usually cannot effectively remove it.

    Jasmine Reese, M.D., an adolescent medicine specialist and the director of the Adolescent and Young Adult Specialty Clinic at Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital, said there is no safe amount of firsthand, secondhand, or thirdhand smoke to breathe in.

    “The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that we prevent exposure of any tobacco smoke to all children,” she noted. “Preventing exposure means not allowing anyone to smoke in your home or your car. Also, ask caretakers such as family members or babysitters to be mindful and respectful of your rules of not smoking or vaping around your children. Oftentimes, people feel that smoking is safe if they change their clothing or smoke outside. The best and only way to completely prevent inhaling thirdhand smoke is to quit or to not start smoking at all.”

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    Some people believe the mom’s concerns are legitimate

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    But others think she’s reaching too far

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    What do you think ?
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    MrsEgonSpengler
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some absolutely moronic takes on this. MY KIDS WERE ALL FINE - no they were lucky. Well done for showing how you lack the basic understanding of statistics. THERE'S OTHER GARBAGE THAT YOUR BABY WILL BE EXPOSE TO - risk is cumulative. It is not possible to remove all risk but you can remove at least some which will absolutely have benefits.

    Debby Keir
    Community Member
    13 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before my daughter became pregnant, she discussed with me that until I gave up smoking, I wouldn't be allowed to see any baby she had. Not said nastily, but from her heart. I'd been 'trying' on and off to give up for some while, but not succeeded. However, this gave me the extra push, and I've now been 19 years smoke free and have 2 grand daughters.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    12 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very well done, and I mean that. Quitting smoking is so, so hard. You should be so proud.

    Load More Replies...
    Dark Pigeon
    Community Member
    13 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's not forget how offensive the smell can be for someone that small. I can not stand it, never lived in a smoke-house so yes.. I am not at all used to it. When I went to live together with my BF we got some stuff from his mom who smokes. We threw it away of gave it back because the smell was just so f*****g bad. Now my BF starts to smell it as well, and finally really understands how horrible it is.

    Richi Weiss
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's something he never smelled but when you pointed it out he can't ignore it anymore.. I know that problem too

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    MrsEgonSpengler
    Community Member
    15 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some absolutely moronic takes on this. MY KIDS WERE ALL FINE - no they were lucky. Well done for showing how you lack the basic understanding of statistics. THERE'S OTHER GARBAGE THAT YOUR BABY WILL BE EXPOSE TO - risk is cumulative. It is not possible to remove all risk but you can remove at least some which will absolutely have benefits.

    Debby Keir
    Community Member
    13 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before my daughter became pregnant, she discussed with me that until I gave up smoking, I wouldn't be allowed to see any baby she had. Not said nastily, but from her heart. I'd been 'trying' on and off to give up for some while, but not succeeded. However, this gave me the extra push, and I've now been 19 years smoke free and have 2 grand daughters.

    Tamra
    Community Member
    12 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very well done, and I mean that. Quitting smoking is so, so hard. You should be so proud.

    Load More Replies...
    Dark Pigeon
    Community Member
    13 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's not forget how offensive the smell can be for someone that small. I can not stand it, never lived in a smoke-house so yes.. I am not at all used to it. When I went to live together with my BF we got some stuff from his mom who smokes. We threw it away of gave it back because the smell was just so f*****g bad. Now my BF starts to smell it as well, and finally really understands how horrible it is.

    Richi Weiss
    Community Member
    7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's something he never smelled but when you pointed it out he can't ignore it anymore.. I know that problem too

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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