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Woman Sets Up A Trap To Teach Snooping MIL A Lifelong Lesson About Boundaries
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Woman Sets Up A Trap To Teach Snooping MIL A Lifelong Lesson About Boundaries

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Unlike random acquaintances or, say, coworkers, maintaining boundaries with in-laws can be complicated. After all, you can’t just cut them out without some consequences and you generally need to get your partner on board. Most people are, unfortunately, a lot more forgiving when it comes to their parents, siblings and other relatives.

A woman asked if she was wrong to lay a trap for her constantly snooping MIL, who couldn’t keep her hands out of her purse. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

RELATED:

    Discovering that someone went through your stuff is a nasty feeling

    Image credits: lucigerma / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    So one woman decided to prove, conclusively, that her MIL was snooping

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    Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Blue85Heron

    Some in-laws are simply worse than others

    While “bad in-laws” seems like a tale as old as time, it’s important to note that in this story, the MIL is going “above and beyond.” Normally, one complains about passive-aggressive comments or perhaps too many demands about what to have for Thanksgiving dinner, but secretly going through someone’s stuff is entirely abnormal. This is why some folks end up taking drastic measures to limit the damage their spouse’s family insists on inflicting.

    So this is less about establishing boundaries, since your property is by all definitions a boundary, and more about enforcing them. After all, telling someone they can’t enter your house without your permission isn’t a “personal boundary,” it’s the law. Similarly, this is such a bizarre case, that one actually needs to gather evidence before making accusations, particularly about your partner’s elderly mother.

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    It’s also worth pointing out that the husband is quite aware of how she acts, in the woman’s own words, “we did say no to her.” In this sense, the wife’s plan is ingenious, as it only “harms” the MIL, in the broadest sense of the word, if she is legitimately snooping around. At the very least, it’s just a bit of fun. After all, who doesn’t like making up fake letters for fake scenarios?

    This level of intrusiveness is just not healthy for anyone

    As many commenters noted, her having password access is a considerably bigger issue. It’s not just a regular security problem, it might make the wife and her partner liable if the mother does actually do something strange. In general, most banks, for example, simply do not allow people to share passwords like that. It can in many cases be a literal breach of terms and conditions.

    At the very least, it’s a security concern and it’s also just unhealthy. A parent should not be snooping this much into the private and financial details of their very adult children. This is bizarre behavior that probably indicates that the mother needs some psychological help. Fortunately, the husband does seem to understand the issue.

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    One thing that frequently spurs on terrible in-law behavior is their adult child not taking their actions seriously. Many people hand-wave their parents’ behavior or, even worse, take their side in situations like this. Imagine being this woman with a husband who refused to listen to you or, again, even worse, voluntarily handed over bank and investment account passwords to their mother. Regardless, this woman’s actions are, at “worst” just a bit of a prank, and at best something to make her MIL’s unhealthy snooping an issue for her.

    Netizens shared some of their own ideas

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    While some had similar experiences

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    Read less »

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Traveling Lady Railfan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "snoopy people" are the worst. I can't imagine violating someone's privacy so casually and openly. (PS. I like Snoopy though)

    kath morgan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s fun but it sounds like more of an faff than just not indulging the rummaging. If someone had their hands in my bag I would say “don’t rummage through my things”, and take it to the bathroom with me. Who cares if mum thinks I have something to hide, as an adult? She’s not an authority you need to answer to.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When MIL asked for financial login/info and said, "In case anything happens to you," Op should have said, "Thanks, but it will most likely happen to you first. Shall I have your login then?"

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being high around this women is a waste of good dope. Shame on you. Remember that there are people in Europe who are having to go to bed straight.

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have left a shopping list in there for her to see - zip ties, shovel, bleach, contractor grade garbage bags, etc…

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And a note that said: "Remind Ted to get MIL alone to gag her *before* he zip ties her hands + feet." 😁

    Load More Replies...
    CBolt
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A fake letter to a doctor askng for advice as to how to get MIL evaluated because you've noticed a rapid decline in her cognitive abilities as well as inappropriate behavior. And ask for a referral to someone who can walk you thru the process of finding a "facility" where MIL would be well taken care of for her remaining years. Maybe even a reply from the dr, saying she'll be happy to meet with you to discuss these things. Letter to an attorney asking for help in getting legal guardianship, particularly re her finances. Too much?

    Nimitz
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well this is no good without the payoff. Also, if it turns out she is snooping, absolutely dial it up and then make her eat crow

    TTorrest Author
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soooo just a whole story about a woman *planning* a scheme, but NOT the story of her actually carrying it out. Got it.

    CBolt
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about a mouse trap in the purse? Could be a bit tricky explaining why a mouse trap is hanging off her hand.

    brittany
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i did something similar. my bio mom used to read through my journals and no matter how i hid them she always found them. so i started sprinkling in random nonsense and imaginary people along with actual stuff just to mess with her. went so far as to detail a crush i had on a guy and made sure there was no one at our very small school who fit that description. i have a sneaking suspicion my mother came to the school to raise hell because the teachers were asking me if she was okay and how things were at home. i am pretty sure she threw away that particular journal bc i never saw it again after that. worth it. as to why she freaked out, she was part of a purity centered cult and anything like dating and stuff without the intent to marry was not allowed.

    Lailu
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh hell no! A woman’s handbag is sacred! I’d take my bag with me and if she asked why, just tell her the reason. “My property; I didn’t give you permission to go through it.”

    Hoi-Polloi
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good grief, people. It's not cool to scheme ways to punish your MIL. Let's put it like this... is it wrong to be an AH, or only wrong to be an AH *first* ?

    FlamingRed
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your camp is next door to the MILs, and you're not driving, why would you take your purse with you just to dry a pair of jeans?

    Justbecause
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always make sure to threw a few 10c cans in the outside rubbish bins so my MIL tells me when shes been looking through my rubbish 🤣 It always gets a "there worth 10c you know" comment from her.

    Trish Parish
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even worse are landlords that go through you place (and belongings) when you are not there.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she tried this with me she'd earn a slap across the face. Then tell her "Next time, I break every one of your fingers. Keep your hands to yourself or enjoy xrays at hospital". Husband doesn't seem to care his wife is being disrespected, i'd throw out the whole marriage and go be part of a family that respects me.

    Traveling Lady Railfan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "snoopy people" are the worst. I can't imagine violating someone's privacy so casually and openly. (PS. I like Snoopy though)

    kath morgan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s fun but it sounds like more of an faff than just not indulging the rummaging. If someone had their hands in my bag I would say “don’t rummage through my things”, and take it to the bathroom with me. Who cares if mum thinks I have something to hide, as an adult? She’s not an authority you need to answer to.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When MIL asked for financial login/info and said, "In case anything happens to you," Op should have said, "Thanks, but it will most likely happen to you first. Shall I have your login then?"

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being high around this women is a waste of good dope. Shame on you. Remember that there are people in Europe who are having to go to bed straight.

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have left a shopping list in there for her to see - zip ties, shovel, bleach, contractor grade garbage bags, etc…

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And a note that said: "Remind Ted to get MIL alone to gag her *before* he zip ties her hands + feet." 😁

    Load More Replies...
    CBolt
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A fake letter to a doctor askng for advice as to how to get MIL evaluated because you've noticed a rapid decline in her cognitive abilities as well as inappropriate behavior. And ask for a referral to someone who can walk you thru the process of finding a "facility" where MIL would be well taken care of for her remaining years. Maybe even a reply from the dr, saying she'll be happy to meet with you to discuss these things. Letter to an attorney asking for help in getting legal guardianship, particularly re her finances. Too much?

    Nimitz
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well this is no good without the payoff. Also, if it turns out she is snooping, absolutely dial it up and then make her eat crow

    TTorrest Author
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soooo just a whole story about a woman *planning* a scheme, but NOT the story of her actually carrying it out. Got it.

    CBolt
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about a mouse trap in the purse? Could be a bit tricky explaining why a mouse trap is hanging off her hand.

    brittany
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i did something similar. my bio mom used to read through my journals and no matter how i hid them she always found them. so i started sprinkling in random nonsense and imaginary people along with actual stuff just to mess with her. went so far as to detail a crush i had on a guy and made sure there was no one at our very small school who fit that description. i have a sneaking suspicion my mother came to the school to raise hell because the teachers were asking me if she was okay and how things were at home. i am pretty sure she threw away that particular journal bc i never saw it again after that. worth it. as to why she freaked out, she was part of a purity centered cult and anything like dating and stuff without the intent to marry was not allowed.

    Lailu
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh hell no! A woman’s handbag is sacred! I’d take my bag with me and if she asked why, just tell her the reason. “My property; I didn’t give you permission to go through it.”

    Hoi-Polloi
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good grief, people. It's not cool to scheme ways to punish your MIL. Let's put it like this... is it wrong to be an AH, or only wrong to be an AH *first* ?

    FlamingRed
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your camp is next door to the MILs, and you're not driving, why would you take your purse with you just to dry a pair of jeans?

    Justbecause
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always make sure to threw a few 10c cans in the outside rubbish bins so my MIL tells me when shes been looking through my rubbish 🤣 It always gets a "there worth 10c you know" comment from her.

    Trish Parish
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even worse are landlords that go through you place (and belongings) when you are not there.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she tried this with me she'd earn a slap across the face. Then tell her "Next time, I break every one of your fingers. Keep your hands to yourself or enjoy xrays at hospital". Husband doesn't seem to care his wife is being disrespected, i'd throw out the whole marriage and go be part of a family that respects me.

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