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“Let Me Bury My Child First And I’ll Get Back To You”: 30 Of The Worst Times Shameless Bosses Refused Day-Off Requests
The US is not only lagging behind other countries that enjoy 4-6+ weeks of vacation annually, it doesn't legally require employers to provide paid time off. In fact, there is no obligation for your employer to give paid or unpaid leave unless it’s specified in a collective bargaining agreement or employment contract that requires it.
In addition to a few exceptions and a handful of states that give paid sick time to workers, if an employee requests time off that’s mandated by the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) or any other labor law, the time off must be given. That said, the FMLA only requires unpaid leave. As you can see, the PTO situation in America is definitely not on the side of the worker.
And recently, Twitter user @PostOpPrincess, who works as a surgical/trauma registered nurse, shared a post: “Guess whose request off work got denied for their own wedding. PTO BABY, prepare the others, I ain't gone be there.” The post went viral, amassing 11.4K retweets and 245.7K likes, making more people share their stories of being denied paid time off at work. And it’s infuriating, to say the least.
Image credits: PostOpPrincess
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This is so sad and shitty. I really hope someone there felt at least a little remorse after that heartlessness.
According to a study from Center for Economic and Policy Research, the European Union requires member countries to grant workers at least 20 working days of paid vacation. But many nations go well above that number, and some offer a heap of paid holidays, to boot. France, for example, requires at least 30 paid workdays off, not including paid holidays, while the U.K. mandates 28, followed by Austria, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Spain and Sweden at 25.
In America, the situation is different, to say the least. The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not require payment for time not worked, such as vacations, sick leave or federal or other holidays. These benefits are matters of agreement between an employer and an employee.
The DA could have also prosecuted the employer for obstruction of justice.
And her boss probably didn't see a problem in how she treated you.
Moreover, it’s no secret that in many American workplaces, especially the competitive ones, employees who take leave fear being treated badly or losing out on future opportunities. A 2018 study showed one of the biggest reasons US workers didn’t take time off was fear of being seen as replaceable. The US travel association backed up the fact by finding that 28% of people didn't take vacation days in 2014 purely to demonstrate dedication to their job and not be seen as a “slacker”. It’s apparent that the stigma around the idea of not working is very much alive.
It's awful as it is, but it would be still evil if it was about her distant relative. Who cares if it's cousin, aunt or her neighbour? If they are important to her, they are important to her, it's a dying person goddammit!
Bosses and employers also put pressure on employees' shoulders by expecting them to work hard to demonstrate their excellent performance, earn themselves a badge of honor and possibly get a raise. This becomes especially problematic in workplaces with toxic tendencies where management is particularly controlling.
To find out more about dealing with a micromanaging boss, we spoke with Dawn Moss, the founder of “Your Interview Coach” who has been helping both candidates and hiring managers through the recruitment and selection process since 2013. “It all comes back to trust and communication between the manager and employee,” Dawn noted. “Firstly, it’s best not to use the term micromanaged during those initial conversations with your manager because it often has negative connotations,” she suggested. “However, you need to start the dialogue about expectations and quality standards of work.”
Nobody is going to keep me away from an important event. I'll attend that wedding or funeral. There isn't a job that's more important than your private life.
Dawn’s advice is to be prepared, organized and proactive. “Think ahead and be prepared to provide those detailed updates to reassure your manager that they can be confident you are in control and know what’s going on. Let them know ahead of time if a deadline is unrealistic, or a target is unlikely to be met. Let them know about issues before they find out about them from someone else.”
Moreover, according to Dawn, it’s always a good idea to reflect and analyze your own work ethic, patterns and styles. “Check that this hasn’t impacted on the trust between you and your manager. For example, the quality of your work, missing deadlines, turning up late, lack of communication, or updates, etc.”
"Hey boss can I have the day off next Friday?" "Why?" "I'll have to attend the funeral of my boss who died from a horrible work related accident."
To build the trust between you as an employee and your manager, it’s important to “try to understand your manager's behavior and the potential pressures they may have (demands, deliverables, outputs, results, stakeholder and shareholder accountability, profitability etc.) and get to know them as a person, their characteristics, their values, simply their likes and dislikes,” Dawn explained.
Let's be honest readers of BP: all these awful sad stories must be happening in the USA. This is not normal behaviour anywhere else in the world.
Moreover, “working together with your manager and reassuring them you want to produce high-quality results and meet their expectations and how best you can achieve this will take the pressure from them.” In turn, you feel more productive, self-sufficient, and independent.
Asking lots of questions about their expectations and concerns and how you can address or improve is also a way to deal with a micromanaging boss, Dawn says. She encourages everyone “to ask for feedback and regular 121s as this will help improve communication between the manager and the employee. It will help build confidence and trust.”
God Almighty, the medical field is stretched to the breaking point. All these monstrous bosses.
"How about I move my dad's coffin into your office while I'm waiting for my time off?"
I had a miscarriage and was trying to call out of work while driving home from the doctor on no pain meds because what they wanted to give me didn't work. I was told they were sorry but I had to come in, one of my other co-workers who was pregnant had called out due to her excessive morning sickness. There were only 3 of us in the back so I drove to work and worked through my entire miscarriage that week. I'm not upset with the other woman, she's still a friend to this day and I adore her daughter, I was pissed at one of my bosses for not going back there and helping out the one in the back because both of them knew how to do the job. Needless to say I was silent the entire week, in extreme pain, and a total emotional wreck. I will give them this much they left me alone and handled all customer interactions. That entire mess still haunts me.
in some cases for organ transplant, if the patient had to be prepared with chemo (like in blood cancers), if you reschedule, the patient will probably die. I donated a liter of bone marrow and was told several times, you have until this date, after that date, if you go back on your promise to donate, the child will die. I obviously did the surgery to donate (it was not stem cells but the older collection style) and my boss wanted me back at work asap.
You can get an open FMLA exception for chronic migraines. Worked with a gal who suffered from them.
All the in between comments and advice that Dawn Moss gives reflect how she thinks that it's the employees responsibility to keep their boss satisfied. According to her, employees should bend over backwards, kiss the bosses a**e and make sure they cater to their every whim, wish and expectation. It's people like her that brainwash people to believe that employees exist by the grace of bosses, while in reality bosses exist by the grace of their employees.
She fails to also mention the turn around rate these bosses experience because of people being pushed too far. It also costs a lot more money to hire replacements than it would in lost revenue to let the employees have the time off. People that are used and abused get fed up eventually and will do what they have to in order to protect themselves. I remember one business expert that told a boss to his face "If you have high turn around and have a problem retaining employees, you're the problem, not them."
Load More Replies...The majority of these would be illegal where I'm from, you can't be denied PTO for your wedding, a death in the family, a medical issue or any time off that was requested a month in advance. I have no idea how people can live like this, it's inhumane.
Sometimes we don't. Live, that is. Or at least in many cases it's a lot harder to than it should be.
Load More Replies...It's a sad state of affairs, the workers here are treated like serfs. And I don't think it's too much of an assumption that most of these are in the US.
... actually, medieval serfs got more time off than we do in the US :/
Load More Replies...There's a reason I treat my people's PTO and request days off with respect. I try to work with it as much as I can scheduling wise. I know my people have lives outside of work and that work isn't their life. I usually work around almost anything, even the short notice stuff. There's only been 2 times in 5 years I haven't been able to honor PTO and we worked together to find a solution.
My boss didn't want me to go to my Nannas funeral because I'd have to get a Covid tests after and miss a few days of work. Yes I f****g went to her funeral.
Was working in a non-classroom education job. My son has autism and was in a mainstreamed special needs high school program. There were 2 graduation ceremonies - one for general Ed and one for special Ed where he was the valedictorian. When I put in the paperwork, my boss questioned why I had to go to both (???????). On top of that, the dept of educ docked me for the day off to attend his graduation where he was the speaker, despite supporting evidence of ceremony program. It's a really big deal when a person with autism conquers his fear to speak to an auditorium full of people, and an education system punishes the proud mom. Unf...king believable! So glad I'm retired now.
I told my manager to that my uncle who had battled cancer for last 14 years was given a death diagnosis but they said it could be 3 weeks to 3 months. I gave her a heads up because like, you almost never get a heads up someone is going to die. When I told her that I wanted to take the day off, she said, "We'll see."
I can't help but notice just how many of these issues occurred in the Healthcare setting. While we bust our @$$€$ and give our hearts to the people we care for, Healthcare has no compassion for its people. No wonder we were getting out of the profession even before covid. It's all such BS. I was the sole caregiver for my mom. One time, after she had been admitted for a major heart issue and was about to be discharged and still very weak, I called in later than the acceptable time to do so to tell them I won't be in because I just found out she's being discharged. I was told to call a cab for her to come home and just go to bed. I had to come in. 🤨? I told them that since there was never any issue when a nurse called in because they had a sick child, today my mother is my child. I won't be in. Never had an issue after that.
I noticed that too. My husband is a nurse and is looking for a job outside of health care. He loves the patients, but the administration is trash at most places. All greed and office politics.
Load More Replies...As a mother who has actually to burry their child .. I pray what they said wasn't true if that's the fact f**k em all burn it down and walk out clearly they don't care about anyone else.
At 16 I had a suicide attempt. My boss gave me the next day off but said come in the day after or find another job. I wanted to quit but my parents wouldn't let me because I owed rent.
In my personal experience I was shocked the Army was so lenient concerning family. I know there’s some horror stories but if you’re squared away they try and take care of you. Nobody can get emergency leave if their friends from school die but anything involving family is automatic. I had a platoon sergeant go home from Iraq because his wife was doing meth and got arrested with their kid in the car. The above posts seem to be American corporate ideals. Sad
The part about this entire post I don't understand is all these people giving any reason for their PTO request. The reason seems irrelevant to me. Should be accepted (or denied) without consideration of the reason. I believe no reason for leave is more or less valid than any other. Some of these do mention FMLA. My understanding is the employer has no right to deny an FMLA request, so again the reason doesn't really matter.
You wouldn't find the death of a parent or a child to be worthy of extra consideration as compared to going to a concert for example? Some things are major life events that cannot be planned for. The people experiencing them are certainly going to see them as worthy of extra consideration and will hold refusal to accomodate them against the employer in a way that is more likely to be performance-affecting, morale-affecting and possibly job ending. I'm thoroughly confused how a person can see no difference in consequences, even if they have no empathy.
Load More Replies...One thing that worries me is that US citizens put up with a society like this!!
The day I was leaving on vacation (evening flight), over Christmas holidays (worked retail), I was called to see if I could come in that day for a few hours, even though I was booked off. I said no, and they said "you said your flight isn't until tonight when you last worked". I said, sorry, no, because I took a shift yesterday, I need today for packing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't penalized, but it struck me as so strange, knowing I had worked all weekend, they call me on my first day of PTO - which I had booked to make sure I was fully packed before my flight, and to see my family.
If you bothered to read them, you'd have noted that one gave notice of a vacation A WHOLE YEAR AHEAD of time. Many of the others were things like sudden deaths in their families - how the hell does somebody plan ahead for that??
Load More Replies...All the in between comments and advice that Dawn Moss gives reflect how she thinks that it's the employees responsibility to keep their boss satisfied. According to her, employees should bend over backwards, kiss the bosses a**e and make sure they cater to their every whim, wish and expectation. It's people like her that brainwash people to believe that employees exist by the grace of bosses, while in reality bosses exist by the grace of their employees.
She fails to also mention the turn around rate these bosses experience because of people being pushed too far. It also costs a lot more money to hire replacements than it would in lost revenue to let the employees have the time off. People that are used and abused get fed up eventually and will do what they have to in order to protect themselves. I remember one business expert that told a boss to his face "If you have high turn around and have a problem retaining employees, you're the problem, not them."
Load More Replies...The majority of these would be illegal where I'm from, you can't be denied PTO for your wedding, a death in the family, a medical issue or any time off that was requested a month in advance. I have no idea how people can live like this, it's inhumane.
Sometimes we don't. Live, that is. Or at least in many cases it's a lot harder to than it should be.
Load More Replies...It's a sad state of affairs, the workers here are treated like serfs. And I don't think it's too much of an assumption that most of these are in the US.
... actually, medieval serfs got more time off than we do in the US :/
Load More Replies...There's a reason I treat my people's PTO and request days off with respect. I try to work with it as much as I can scheduling wise. I know my people have lives outside of work and that work isn't their life. I usually work around almost anything, even the short notice stuff. There's only been 2 times in 5 years I haven't been able to honor PTO and we worked together to find a solution.
My boss didn't want me to go to my Nannas funeral because I'd have to get a Covid tests after and miss a few days of work. Yes I f****g went to her funeral.
Was working in a non-classroom education job. My son has autism and was in a mainstreamed special needs high school program. There were 2 graduation ceremonies - one for general Ed and one for special Ed where he was the valedictorian. When I put in the paperwork, my boss questioned why I had to go to both (???????). On top of that, the dept of educ docked me for the day off to attend his graduation where he was the speaker, despite supporting evidence of ceremony program. It's a really big deal when a person with autism conquers his fear to speak to an auditorium full of people, and an education system punishes the proud mom. Unf...king believable! So glad I'm retired now.
I told my manager to that my uncle who had battled cancer for last 14 years was given a death diagnosis but they said it could be 3 weeks to 3 months. I gave her a heads up because like, you almost never get a heads up someone is going to die. When I told her that I wanted to take the day off, she said, "We'll see."
I can't help but notice just how many of these issues occurred in the Healthcare setting. While we bust our @$$€$ and give our hearts to the people we care for, Healthcare has no compassion for its people. No wonder we were getting out of the profession even before covid. It's all such BS. I was the sole caregiver for my mom. One time, after she had been admitted for a major heart issue and was about to be discharged and still very weak, I called in later than the acceptable time to do so to tell them I won't be in because I just found out she's being discharged. I was told to call a cab for her to come home and just go to bed. I had to come in. 🤨? I told them that since there was never any issue when a nurse called in because they had a sick child, today my mother is my child. I won't be in. Never had an issue after that.
I noticed that too. My husband is a nurse and is looking for a job outside of health care. He loves the patients, but the administration is trash at most places. All greed and office politics.
Load More Replies...As a mother who has actually to burry their child .. I pray what they said wasn't true if that's the fact f**k em all burn it down and walk out clearly they don't care about anyone else.
At 16 I had a suicide attempt. My boss gave me the next day off but said come in the day after or find another job. I wanted to quit but my parents wouldn't let me because I owed rent.
In my personal experience I was shocked the Army was so lenient concerning family. I know there’s some horror stories but if you’re squared away they try and take care of you. Nobody can get emergency leave if their friends from school die but anything involving family is automatic. I had a platoon sergeant go home from Iraq because his wife was doing meth and got arrested with their kid in the car. The above posts seem to be American corporate ideals. Sad
The part about this entire post I don't understand is all these people giving any reason for their PTO request. The reason seems irrelevant to me. Should be accepted (or denied) without consideration of the reason. I believe no reason for leave is more or less valid than any other. Some of these do mention FMLA. My understanding is the employer has no right to deny an FMLA request, so again the reason doesn't really matter.
You wouldn't find the death of a parent or a child to be worthy of extra consideration as compared to going to a concert for example? Some things are major life events that cannot be planned for. The people experiencing them are certainly going to see them as worthy of extra consideration and will hold refusal to accomodate them against the employer in a way that is more likely to be performance-affecting, morale-affecting and possibly job ending. I'm thoroughly confused how a person can see no difference in consequences, even if they have no empathy.
Load More Replies...One thing that worries me is that US citizens put up with a society like this!!
The day I was leaving on vacation (evening flight), over Christmas holidays (worked retail), I was called to see if I could come in that day for a few hours, even though I was booked off. I said no, and they said "you said your flight isn't until tonight when you last worked". I said, sorry, no, because I took a shift yesterday, I need today for packing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't penalized, but it struck me as so strange, knowing I had worked all weekend, they call me on my first day of PTO - which I had booked to make sure I was fully packed before my flight, and to see my family.
If you bothered to read them, you'd have noted that one gave notice of a vacation A WHOLE YEAR AHEAD of time. Many of the others were things like sudden deaths in their families - how the hell does somebody plan ahead for that??
Load More Replies...