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“What Made You Realize Your Best Friend Was Actually A Complete Jerk?” (30 Responses)
Friendship is definitely magic, and we have absolutely no reason not to believe those wonderful little ponies, thanks to which the whole world knows so well about the charms of friendship. But seriously, thousands of books have been written about friendship, hundreds of movies have been filmed - and yet we still do not fully understand the exact reasons why some people can have such strong feelings for each other.
However, just as there is only one step from love to hate, so the path from friendship to betrayal can be no less short. And sometimes we even realize with bitterness that the person whom we have long considered our devoted friend, in fact, turned out to be far from ideal. And then the only thing left is to share your story!
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#1
For a long time, I thought that my best friend was an a*****e for kicking me out of the apartment we shared (he was the leaseholder) in college. In reality, I was a horrible roommate who partied too much and didn't clean up after myself. I was the a*****e.
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#2
When she told me she was cheating on her husband and then I found out she was cheating with MY husband.
#3
This will get buried, but it’s my time to shine…
Best Friend of 30 years.
Gets a girl pregnant at 21. They get married. Have the baby. He gets mad at someone at work and walks out, with a newborn at home.
My stepdad hires him, even though he doesn’t really have any skills, nor is there a position for him. Works there for a long time. Learns well. Does a great job. Gets promoted often and is paid well.
Covid happens. Stepdad files for some PPP. In the course of the paper work they found out my best friend. Who had been treated like a son (better than me at times) had embezzled roughly $100k over three or so years.
Not my best friend anymore.
In fact, history knows many examples when former friends became bitter enemies. Suffice it to recall at least Julius Caesar, whose murderer Brutus not only organized a whole conspiracy against his former close friend, but is also considered by some researchers to be Caesar's biological son. However, big politics and friendship, unfortunately, are often not just incompatible things - they are completely opposite things.
#4
When he got his girlfriend pregnant he got 6 weeks of paternity leave. He lived with me and she had her own place. For months after the child was born he sat home taking advantage of his paid vacation playing 10 hours of video games a day while she struggled with the child.
#5
When she threw a s**t-fit after I said something along the lines of—“if he cheats on his wife with you, what do you think is going to stop him from cheating on you with someone else?”
Apparently I’m not supportive?
RagDollLali 1 year ago (edited)
1. Cheats with a cheater 2. Cheater then cheats on them 3. *Shocked pikachu face*
#6
I was poor and in college, I had the flu really really bad one week and asked my friend (he lived in a dorm across the hall) to go to the convenience store in the dorm lobby and get me something to drink and he could get whatever for himself too. He got me my soda and himself $40 worth of snacks. Didn’t notice at the time and I ordered us a pizza, he knew it was all I was going to have to eat for the next few days, and he snuck into my room and ate the leftovers while I was passed out on cold medicine.
I didn’t even really know how to respond. Like I was already buying him snacks and feeding him… he had a meal plan on campus (I didn’t)… why act like that?
"When you open up to a friend, you make yourself vulnerable to that person," says Holly Roberts, a psychotherapist with the relationship charity Relate, in an interview with The Guardian. "That's what makes it hard. Because you've bared yourself emotionally to that person and been hurt by them." And it is even sadder that what has been created and maintained for months and years can be destroyed literally in a moment or so.
Indeed, according to a recent study by Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, it takes about 50 hours of continuous conversation to call a stranger your friend, and 200 hours to become a close friend. At the same time, our communication resources decrease with age - for example, according to the same study, the average American spends only about 41 minutes a day in conversations with people.
#7
When she moved in with her boyfriend who didn't like dogs. At first her 2 collies were locked in the basement. Rarely taken for walks. Instead they would just spread newspaper on the floor and switch it out when it was saturated. When the older of the 2 collies died, the remaining dog was banished to a small corner of the backyard chained to a doghouse. She didn't even go outside to feed her, but threw her food out of a window onto the ground. Only went out every other day or so to refill the water dish and pick up poop.
She argued with me that all of the dogs needs were taken care of and she was fine. I draw the line at animal abuse - no one who I call a friend treats an animal like that. That's when I stopped being her friend. Haven't had any contact since.
#8
When my ex turned violent and I ended up running to live in a literal tent in the woods as I had no money, a lot of my "friends" suddenly stopped talking to me. Only TWO stuck around.
F**k all of those a******s who discarded me the second I was in dire need and trouble.
Lizzie Lola 1 year ago
I've had at least 3 people over 20 years live with me to put a roof over their heads, that's what friends DO.
#9
Realizing I am always there for them but it is never reciprocated or even acknowledged or even feigned interested in any thing I am doing in life.
Craftsman 64 1 year ago
After years and years, I finally have a mental list of whom I'll drop everything to help and another list of people who couldn't be bothered to come through for me so "Sorry, I'm out of town/getting ready to leave for a trip".
“With age, we really reduce our level of communication, but not because we become less sociable - there is just a certain limit of active social ties, and we simply cannot physically maintain a greater number of relationships that can be classified as friendly,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment. "This limit of social connections is commonly called the 'Dunbar number', after the British anthropologist who was the first to describe this effect."
"According to various methods of calculation, the level of Dunbar's number ranges from 150 to 300 people, but this, of course, also depends on how active a person's social life is. Therefore, with age, it becomes more and more difficult for us to make new friends - it's just that our brain does not process new incoming information so easily anymore. And the destruction of any old friendship is perceived more and more painfully," Irina notes.
#10
Probably when my gf at the time admitted to sleeping with him and my three other guy friends while we were together.
Not in an embarrassed way either, she was throwing it in my face to hurt me.
I hoped against my own instincts that it wasn't true but I asked him and knew instantly from the look in his eyes that it was.
Basically lost my whole friend group overnight, but... ended up finding *much* better friends in the long run.
It all works out.
#11
Looking back on it, a red flag was when they insulted my mothers cooking. My family isn’t very wealthy but my mother does her best and she had worked hard to make that meal so they wouldn’t be hungry. And then they just insulted it. Also they never said thank you.
Unless it’s got worms in it, you just don’t say anything bad about a meal someone took the time & care to prepare for u as a guest.
And it wasn’t even a simple “I didn’t like it very much” They straight up made fun of my mom and called her a terrible cook (which btw, she isn’t)
#12
She bought me alcohol for valentines when she knew I wanted to try to stay sober. We divorced, I’m sober three years now.
Lost my best friend but gained the rest of my life.
Be that as it may, there are certain situations in which you can really understand that the person whom you previously considered to be your bosom friend is now not (or, even worse, never was). So please feel free to scroll to the very end of this list of sad and instructive stories and be sure to add your own, in case you have something to share under your belt.
#13
All we ever talked about was her - how she hated being single, who she dated, how jealous she was of other people with partners. She skipped my dad's funeral. She ignored my housewarming party. She'd ignore me for weeks at a time, then suddenly call me up crying because she got dumped.
I drove her to surgeries and sat waiting to drive her home. Watched her kids. Sat through a hundred weepy nights.
Then she found a relationship. I have seen her 1x in the past 9 months (because I invited her to get together) and haven't heard from her in 3. I guess she must be happy now, doesn't need me to be a shoulder to lean on.
She wasn't ever interested in being a friend to me. I was just someone to cheer her up when she was feeling down.
#14
When I realised that I was an alcoholic and needed to make a life change and his response was to say ' who am I going to drink with now?'
assdog 1 year ago
True story. About just over a decade ago i ran a very small but (still have) successful tree surgery business but due to the stress i self medicated with booze, i didn't climb when drinking/nor drove but i needed it after.....a lot and didn't risk anyone's life when working. It was tough being an alcoholic. My "friend" offered to help but he then went round all of my clients and told them what was happening to me, they knew what was happening to me. I never lied about it but the funny thing was they said to my "friend" who TF are you? We are here to help him and we want him to work for us. Said "friend" was kicked out of each clients garden on the spot, lost all respect of everyone but i still work for all the same clients to this day. Cut down on my booze but still like wine at night. Never saw the fxkin wxnker again. I'm told he left the country owing thousands to other people.
#15
He would be a good friend to me in private situations, but when we were in groups or in front of total strangers, he would turn on me and try and embarrass me. After 2-3 years of it, I decided he would be better out of my life and haven't spoken to him for over 15 years.
#16
I happily watched her son while she and her boyfriend went to Jamaica for 10 days. He was an awesome teenager and we had great fun. It added 45 minutes to my work commute each way, but it was fine. They were due to return and I was going home.
Then I got a call that something happened and their return was delayed. She couldn't give me details, but would tell me when they got home. I had no answers to give her 14 year old son for his concern. There were no phone calls to him from his mom.
They returned 12 days later than anticipated. I learned a couple of days later, after we had time alone that she and boyfriend tried to bring ganja back with them (through the Miami Dade airport, no less).
I lost all respect for her as a single parent. Her actions were incredibly selfish considering her son still needed raising. She had no family near by that could raise him and she could have been fired.
The nail in the coffin was when I asked for my then BFs camera back, she went on a horrible racist rant. She said she left it in the rental car, went back to retrieve it and "that fu*#ing ni@+#r cleaning the car must have stolen it". I simply told her that she needed to replace the camera.
I cried that day for the loss of the friend who I loved and respected.
#17
Easy.
When I went on a family vacation with him and his family. Seeing how he treated his partner, how out of control his kid was, and how much of a lazy and selfish c**t he was.
Eye-opener.
#18
When I trusted and believed he was like a brother only to have him steal thousands of dollars from me. The money didn’t even matter but the treason hurt for years.
#19
He started manipulating women into "romantic relationships" just to be a dog with them. He was unfaithful to all of them, and when I asked him why he was doing that and if he felt no remorse, he just answered that: "it isn't wrong unless they find out", so I immediately stopped trusting him.
#20
If my guy best friend was interested in a girl or was talking to one, he would treat me like absolute garbage
When he had no girls to talk to or was interested in, he would be super nice to me and hang out all the time
A few years after we graduated high school, we were with a group of friends when he basically said “I’m only nice to girls if there’s a chance I can have sex with them or there’s no other girls in the picture” it all clicked
#21
Over time we lost contact, then she only reached out when she needed money. I let this go on too long until I found out I was pregnant with my first, and told her then I wouldn't send any money after that. She still asked, my daughter is now over 1.5 yo, and she had never even met her. I ended up blocking her and telling her not to bother trying to reach out anymore.
#22
When they were extremely rude to a guy who had a learning disability
That emo Girl 1 year ago (edited)
Then they were probably abliest edit: sorry I misspelled ableist
#23
When he complained and got a server at Texas Roadhouse "fired" over a $2 shortage...and was laughing and bragging about it. Like, it made him feel good / important that he cost someone their job.
As a side note, we are no longer friends and, about 2 weeks later, we (me, my wife, and daughter) had the same server at the same Texas Roadhouse.
#24
Oof I have a couple. Tbf I wasn’t hanging out with good people back in the day, and it took me a long time to accept I wasn’t a good person back then. After a lot of self reflection I see my wrongs and theirs but:
She constantly mocked my insecurities and appearance under the guise of teasing, however it was definitely malicious at the extent she did it. I never once mocked her like that, always tried to hype her up. When my hair started thinning due to a medical condition and she mocked me that was the final straw
Another one was in a bad spot and I helped them out with money as much as I could. One day she asked for a good chunk and I simply didn’t have it, i was living off of beans and rice until my next paycheck, if I’d had it she would have gotten it. She got so mad she told a bunch of very personal things to others and completely stopped talking to me. Later found out she was on meth at the time and that might be why
And lastly was the one who turned a blind eye to her husband being physically and emotionally abusive to their children. Wouldn’t leave him because she said that she couldn’t handle the idea of being a single mom. Sometimes you have to put your kids lives first and swallow your pride. Had to cut her out after that, and let the proper authorities know
#25
He and his brother destroyed an apartment we shared.
Some 30 thousand in damage, then tried to come after me for it.
#26
Dude went around starting rumors that I was saying I was going to kick this dude's a*s. I had no idea, until I'm walking through the hallway and I get suckerpunched in the back of the head by this dude yelling about how I'm talking about kicking his a*s.
Pretty much wrote this guy off at that point.
Years later, well into our 30s, and this guy is still a super douche. The kind of guy who's always bragging about how much money he makes and cars he owns and all that kind of stuff. We're facebook friends for whatever reason, and I happen to make a post about how I was in line to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens and I managed to not get spoiled. His comment, while I'm walking into the theater, is a screenshot of Han Solo with a lightsaber stuck through his gut.
Haven't talked to that guy since then.
#27
It was when I started living with him. You get to see how someone really is when you cohabitate.
#28
She was negative about everything and wanted people in her life to suffer and fail… including me. Also would say horrible cruel judgmental things about everyone in her life and blame everything outside of herself for her unhappiness. What started as a ohhh she’s my b****y blunt sassy friend who’s like Daria.. ended as oh my goodness wait.. you are genuinely a miserable extremely lost (mentally unwell) person who gets joy watching others suffer.
She works as a princess character at Disneyland by the way. Despises when the children ask for a hug or want to touch her. Hates children. But loves the makeup and wigs and having her picture taken. Cosplay type stuff.
#29
She would get belligerent, loud, and annoying when she was drunk. She cheated on her husband with a guy from work. She was also a bridezilla at her wedding reception. The final straw: I can’t remember what topic was, but she posted something on FB that ended with “if you disagree, feel free to block me” and I commented “ok” then blocked her everywhere I could.
#30
I'd gotten use to the cycle of him getting a new partner then disappearing until things went tits up and I'd help him pick up the pieces.
We went through the cycle many times, whatever he needed I always had his back, of course when I was at my lowest ebb, really having
a really f*****g tough time I let him know and he said he'd try to find some time to hang out. The only thing I'd ever asked of him, of course
he vanishes again until his next relationship blew up, he called not long ago, I didn't bother getting back to him.
What do you think ?
Tyke 1 year ago
For about a month or two I kept getting phone calls where the caller would repeat almost everything I'd been up to, pretty much saying they were watching me all the time. Sometimes even went into my feelings, worries, etc. I found out this was my "best friend" getting her friend I didn't know to call me up with all the knowledge I'd entrusted "best friend" with.
Nicholas Secreto 1 year ago
After high school I had a friend who enrolled in art school. He would never draw anything for me and if I asked he would vitch and moan about how everyone wanted stuff for free from him. This was the same guy who had no problem coming over to my place for elaborately cooked dinners (I was a line cook) drink my liquor and smoke my weed without putting up a dollar. Must be so hard to be an artist
RedPanda 1 year ago
Couldn't you just... not feed him? Then it's fair, no?
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Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
I had that! A dear friend went full Trump. And all sorts of homophobic, terrible things. Haven't talked to her since. Still feel bad and sad.
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Rens 1 year ago
I've got one: She had a mental health breakdown, left her 2 kids and husband (in the Netherlands) and went to Australia to stay with her parents for 3 months and to the help she needed. I shared with her how unhappy I had been in my marriage for years, had a midlife crisis approaching my 40th birthday; by mutual agreement, separated from my husband in the July, left the Netherlands in the October to get a job and get settled in the UK so that I could help my daughter and (soon to be ex) husband relocate. She never spoke to me again because she decided that I abandoned my husband and my child when my mental health was going downhill.
Be a better human 1 year ago (edited)
I was in my early 20's my best friend was getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. I was working and going to college at the time. She went with the other bridesmaids to pick out dresses since I had to work. Since I was a MOH she said that I could find a dress with her later. Well she found a dress for me at the bridal store and later when I went back to look at it I found out it was $700 and it was a mermaid cut. I was a curvey chonky girl and the max size that had in that dress was a 10. I told her what the bridal place said and the cost was way out of my budget for a broke college kid. She told me I had plenty of time to loose weight before the wedding I should start running or something. I told her that I would look horrible in that kind of dress I feel very uncomfortable wearing something like that and I don't think I can get down to that size. I asked if we can look for another cheaper dress in my size for her wedding. She said won't have me ruining her Wedding She will find another maid of honor.
Violet Jensen 1 year ago
Oh I have one! Vegetarian friend told me animal death was triggering when I told them my beloved pet died
talliloo 1 year ago
when did i realize that my best friend was an absolue a-hole? guess that would be the time that my 21 yr old son lost his wife 3 months after their son was born and he came home with the baby. he didn't drink or drug himself into a stupor but started a deep spiral into depression to the point that i became concerned that he may do self harm. her response? oh, he just needs to get over it. besides, if he does something he knows you will take care of the baby.
Joss 1 year ago
I'm sorry for your loss, both of daughter in law and the idea that you had a decent friend :( I hope your son and grandson are doing ok now!
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Dark Pearl 1 year ago
I tried to create a safe space for both me and them to talk about anything we needed to, and infodump about our special interests (we're both autistic). It ended up being a safe space for THEM to do all this while I just sat there, doing nothing and having no-one to really talk to. I felt scared to vent and whenever I tried to infodump, they'd change the subject. I loved when they infodumped and I tried to help when they were feeling bad, but I just never felt like enough. We declared ourselves partners last August, but then they broke up with me in October. and deleted all but one social media profile and called me a stalker. after I asked how they were doing one time. :(
DarkViolet 1 year ago
Narcissist. Definitely. You can do better. Much better.
Load More Replies... Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
She moved to my city 10 years after high school. I found her an apartment, a job. Helped her move 3 times. Her husband went MIA when her baby was two weeks old, I got her a new place, babysat every Friday, picked her kid up from daycare every week. Did everything I could to help her. I had a major medical crisis. She disappeared, but called me 6 weeks later to give me an earful about how I'd abandoned her.
Eds 1 year ago
She became one of those people who didn't believe bad things (catcalling, sexual assault, unsafe situations caused by men) happened to women who reported them, because those things didn't happen to her, so they couldn't possibly be happening to other women. Then my area had a natural disaster. Her area had one shortly after of a slightly lesser caliber and suddenly everyone that wasn't reporting on her local disaster was awful and things couldn't possibly be that bad elsewhere. I was just done.
Potato 1 year ago
For context, I'm a 16 year old male. I'm an extrovert who can't stand being alone for more than a day, meaning I tend to be clingy. Anyways, I was dating a pretty popular in 7th grade. My best friend (a girl) didn't know that I was dating someone already and she admitted she liked me, so when I explained to her I was dating someone already, she broke down into tears. The next day I walk into school with everyone staring at me, I shake it off thinking I had bed head or something was in my teeth. I walk into my class and one of my close friends walk up to me and says "Your a jerk." I look at him quizzically and ask "What do you mean?" He says "Layla (not her real name) told everyone that you cheated on your girlfriend with her." I say "that's not true, what the actual f**k?" So now I had basically the entire school and my girlfriend after me. Though it didn't affect me much because it was a while back, I was still pretty shakenen up about it. We're not friends anymore.
walkabout 1 year ago
I met this friend in my high school sophomore year. I was low on the self-esteem scale and very high on the empathy meter. Classic target for bullies. I eventually learned to defend myself at the expense of being “on” all the time, which was draining. We stayed in contact for years even though I realized over time that I meant less to him than I deserved. Then he declined to come to my dead son’s memorial service because he “doesn’t do church.” As if we would use the moment to recruit him into Christianity. Buh-bye Gary.
Shellita 1 year ago
My story is when my supposed bff f****d two of my men ( two different occasions, not a threesome).
Diolla 1 year ago
Just curious, how many men do you have? Not judging :-D On a side note, I once found out a guy I was doing, also did one of my friends, but he played both of us. When we found out we teamed up against him LOL. More fish in the sea, guys aplenty!
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Dizzie D 1 year ago
I had a friend who always expected me to drive to see her when we went to different colleges across the country and catch up. It was okay to begin with as I enjoyed the travel and the good times we had. Slowly over the years though I realised that she never came to see me. I made all the effort, constantly. One day, I just couldn't be bothered anymore and she pestered me for months about our 'friendship' and why I was not coming to see her. So she couldn't even step up then when she knew the problem. Sad end but friendships are a two way street. Same as relationships, they fizzle out if only one person does all the work to maintain it.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I went into a horrible depression and had to be hospitalized and she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore bc she had "enough crazy in my life."
The Blinking Duck 1 year ago (edited)
After my husband became ill, we were VERY shocked at the amount of people who won't speak to us anymore. No phone calls or messages just to ask how he's doing...........nothing
Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
I'm so sorry. I heard a few psychologists talk about this--they provided two reasons. Those people might not know how to talk to you about it; they might also not be capable of caring for anyone but themselves. The ones who are with you now, those are the keepers.
Load More Replies... Diolla 1 year ago (edited)
TL;DR: Her ex beat me up and she blamed me for it. She had a very bad relationship (they used to physically attack each other) and finally broke up with her BF. I'd been telling her to leave this **hole for a while, she knew I didn't like him AT ALL. We met him in town and she started to nag and challenge him. I told het to stop it because he was getting worked up. She didn't stop. He physically attacked her. I interfered to protect her (he is much bigger than she is). He beat me up instead, I lost one of my front teeth. I reported the whole thing to the police. Did not hear from her for several days, no call to ask me how I was doing or anything. When I finally talked with her she told me that I must have been involved with her ex BF because why else would he beat me instead of her? WTF. I get beaten up because of YOU and you blame ME. End of friendship.
Jackie Lulu 1 year ago
I had a best friend, my maid of honor. We were close and more than once , she had words that helped me straighten out my life. As time went on, I noticed that she complained all the time about other people, was rude to our other friends. She got angry at someone for inviting her to a party. She called her minister a FA to another parishioner. Things like that. She also did nice things for others, and that kind of kept me off balance. I started to wonder what she was saying about me. I took a train to visit her. Our visit went well until, she suddenly ran cold, was rude and impatient with me, and would not explain why. It turned out to be an awful visit and I couldn't wait to get home. At this point, I remembered, what they do to others, they'll do to you. That week I got an email from her, telling me all the things I did wrong during our visit. Honestly, I had no clue that what I did was offensive.
Jackie Lulu 1 year ago
Have to finish here. That week I got an email from her, telling me all the things I did wrong during our visit. Honestly, I had no clue that what I did was offensive. This is what I did: Forced her to talk about marrying her boyfriend, and asked her to drop me off at the train station. I probably did other things too! This was very upsetting to me. I hate losing friends, but I realized that I want, and need, better friends than this. I wrote back telling her, as nice as possible, what I thought of her behavior, and ended the relationship.
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Leonie Köhler 1 year ago
I had this friend who i thought was my best friend until I repeated a class. She became all b****y, while i tried to be nice to her. She called me stupid, i just want to say that her Grades where always bad and her Graduation is the lowest you can get in my country. Then i got a new haircut and she talked behind my back with another girl, and i just know if that girl had the exact haircut like me she would love it. And then i blocked her, not only her but anyone from my old class
The_Canadian_Zebra 1 year ago
I've had two really good friends who suddenly stopped talking to me. One moved away after covid but the other is still in my class. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem but like I don't know what I could have done for them to just stop talking to me.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
He wouldn't stop trying to get into my pants after being repeatedly told no. When I still wouldn't sleep with him he decided it would be a good idea to neg me. Shockingly, he still didn't get to sleep with me. He got cut off, permanently.
pineapple87 1 year ago
A formerly close friend started seeing someone new about 9 months after her divorce, and I didn't see or hear from her for the following 6 months except for when she repeatedly cancelled on me to hang out with her new boyfriend. When I finally did see her, she told me how she had filed a police report about "threatening" behaviour from her ex-husband as a result of some angry text messages from said ex after he found out on social media that she had moved in with her new boyfriend. I saw the texts, there waa nothing bad or any actual threat in them. I didn't particularly like the guy, because he always seemed like a spineless bum to me, but he had exhibited no aggressive or violent behaviour during or after their relationship at any point. I asked her when she told me about the report. And I believe it, he really doesn't seem the type. So, my friend maliciously made up an entirely unfounded story that she fealt threatened by her ex and reported him to the police just to get him to as much trouble as possible. She left him because she was essentially bored of him. And yet she felt that he had no right to express his clearly justified anger at her actions over text. At that point I decided that I had no interest in maintaining a friendship with someone who would do that.
Ronnie Cutshall 1 year ago
After reading all this my wife is not that bad. I take her over any women here.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Part 2. Had one freind I would hang out with. I'd give gas money. I'd pay for us to get into the bar. Then we would go our ways til end of the night. I'd get a ride home. Next time we would hang out I'd get "oh you owe me $x for the last time we went out. I bought you drinks." I'm no idiot. I let it go the first time. Then the third time he pulled it again. I said listen I didn't borrow money off you so it must have been someone else. And I didn't drink. I was on the other end of the room all night. Don't try to get money off me I don't owe you. Even months later if I ran into him he would be like "hey remeber last week we went out an I got you x?" I'd tell him dude I haven't seen you in 4 months so it wasn't me. Still he cons people. Also not friends w anymore.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Friends. Well I kinda have one. And rarely talk or see him. Everyone used me for what I could give them or have me listen to their problems. Or I was the third wheel on their dates because they wanted an excuse to get home. Just randomly slowly stopped bothering to reach out and check on them. They would message when they wanted something but I knew their ways. So I really have one person I rarely talk to and no friends. Doesn't bother me.
Pattie B 1 year ago (edited)
Not exactly my best friend but I was definitely her best friend (or at least the only friend she could keep). I had to drop her when she said she thought all Black men were ugly. In retrospect that was just the cherry on top of years of racist comments, but I didn't clock it for a long time because she was a POC herself.
feminist percussionist 1 year ago
I didn’t have a lot of friends where I used to live, I had like three. But my next door neighbor was my age and she did some pretty s****y things like; Say that the two things I was so excited for but that got canceled due to COVID weren’t important like her mental health camp (literally said that) Dragged me to a neighbor’s house and I was like, I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH DOLLS! And guess what we did? Played with dolls, and got mad when I called them creepy Never wanted to do what I wanted to do Would do her homework *while I was hanging out with her,* because I was responsible and did mine during class instead of afterwards (online school) We fought often about her views on animals :(
Rick Seiden 1 year ago
I had a friend in college ask me to borrow money for rent. I happily lent it to her. She gave me a check to pay it back. I then bounced a check (this was years ago) because her check bounced. She kept saying she would pay it back. I'd have her write me a check, then go try to cash it on her payday, and it would be insufficient funds. She gave me some line about her brother stealing her ATM card. I eventally had her write me a series of $20 checks to cover it, and then went every payday and tried to cash the checks at her bank. At that point I was so tired of her s**t I didn't care if I drained her account. We were very close. I supported her when she was depressed and unsure of herself. I cried with her when her boyfriend took his own life. That's why I offered her the money so quickly and easily. I trusted her and our friendship. I haven't spoken to her since I picked up the set of $20 checks.
George D 1 year ago
Upon reflection, you can surmise the true nature of people most of the time by asking yourself a simple question, "Are they givers or takers?" Most are both in varying degrees but it helps one to recognize those that are takers only and not be blinded by the fact that they're a friend, acquaintance, or even family member. Get those types out of your life asap. There's no changing them.
Kines Tezja 1 year ago (edited)
I guess it was in primary school when my "best friend" started to hang out with other girl in our class and avoiding me at the same time. I've had enough at some point (not mentioning I was just hurt) and asked "who is your best friend, me or she?" And she looked at the other girl with a weird smile and said "I guess she". Later she was my "best friend" again and the situation repeated 2 or 3 times until I was older and understood it's not worth it.
Dragon girl 1 year ago
I have been dating this guy for over 3 years, and there have been so many red flags, but I really wanted to make this relationship work. He has been staying at my home helping me take care of my mom, who has been ill for several months now. He was supposed to go back his home where he was living with his ex and thier 2 kids over the weekend. Well, my mom said she wanted him to go from Friday and return Monday, and he got all pouty about because HE wanted to go Saturday and come back Sunday. I then realized I had to end this relationship when he had an attitude towards my mom, then telling me I over complicate things as I'm trying to figure out a problem with the computer. It just really sunk in that he is a bully who is prone to violence, a user, abusive, has no drive, and will most likely never stop using and selling dope. He is trying to make me the bad guy because his ex won't let him stay there, and I will not let him come back to my place. He says he has supported me when i need him, but I'm MIA when he needs me for his "crisis". It's not like he didn't know this was coming and he had to find his own place, but yet I'm the A-hole. I can clearly see what kind of man he is and I want out.
Tyke 1 year ago
For about a month or two I kept getting phone calls where the caller would repeat almost everything I'd been up to, pretty much saying they were watching me all the time. Sometimes even went into my feelings, worries, etc. I found out this was my "best friend" getting her friend I didn't know to call me up with all the knowledge I'd entrusted "best friend" with.
Nicholas Secreto 1 year ago
After high school I had a friend who enrolled in art school. He would never draw anything for me and if I asked he would vitch and moan about how everyone wanted stuff for free from him. This was the same guy who had no problem coming over to my place for elaborately cooked dinners (I was a line cook) drink my liquor and smoke my weed without putting up a dollar. Must be so hard to be an artist
RedPanda 1 year ago
Couldn't you just... not feed him? Then it's fair, no?
Load More Replies... Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
I had that! A dear friend went full Trump. And all sorts of homophobic, terrible things. Haven't talked to her since. Still feel bad and sad.
Load More Replies... Rens 1 year ago
I've got one: She had a mental health breakdown, left her 2 kids and husband (in the Netherlands) and went to Australia to stay with her parents for 3 months and to the help she needed. I shared with her how unhappy I had been in my marriage for years, had a midlife crisis approaching my 40th birthday; by mutual agreement, separated from my husband in the July, left the Netherlands in the October to get a job and get settled in the UK so that I could help my daughter and (soon to be ex) husband relocate. She never spoke to me again because she decided that I abandoned my husband and my child when my mental health was going downhill.
Be a better human 1 year ago (edited)
I was in my early 20's my best friend was getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. I was working and going to college at the time. She went with the other bridesmaids to pick out dresses since I had to work. Since I was a MOH she said that I could find a dress with her later. Well she found a dress for me at the bridal store and later when I went back to look at it I found out it was $700 and it was a mermaid cut. I was a curvey chonky girl and the max size that had in that dress was a 10. I told her what the bridal place said and the cost was way out of my budget for a broke college kid. She told me I had plenty of time to loose weight before the wedding I should start running or something. I told her that I would look horrible in that kind of dress I feel very uncomfortable wearing something like that and I don't think I can get down to that size. I asked if we can look for another cheaper dress in my size for her wedding. She said won't have me ruining her Wedding She will find another maid of honor.
Violet Jensen 1 year ago
Oh I have one! Vegetarian friend told me animal death was triggering when I told them my beloved pet died
talliloo 1 year ago
when did i realize that my best friend was an absolue a-hole? guess that would be the time that my 21 yr old son lost his wife 3 months after their son was born and he came home with the baby. he didn't drink or drug himself into a stupor but started a deep spiral into depression to the point that i became concerned that he may do self harm. her response? oh, he just needs to get over it. besides, if he does something he knows you will take care of the baby.
Joss 1 year ago
I'm sorry for your loss, both of daughter in law and the idea that you had a decent friend :( I hope your son and grandson are doing ok now!
Load More Replies... Dark Pearl 1 year ago
I tried to create a safe space for both me and them to talk about anything we needed to, and infodump about our special interests (we're both autistic). It ended up being a safe space for THEM to do all this while I just sat there, doing nothing and having no-one to really talk to. I felt scared to vent and whenever I tried to infodump, they'd change the subject. I loved when they infodumped and I tried to help when they were feeling bad, but I just never felt like enough. We declared ourselves partners last August, but then they broke up with me in October. and deleted all but one social media profile and called me a stalker. after I asked how they were doing one time. :(
DarkViolet 1 year ago
Narcissist. Definitely. You can do better. Much better.
Load More Replies... Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
She moved to my city 10 years after high school. I found her an apartment, a job. Helped her move 3 times. Her husband went MIA when her baby was two weeks old, I got her a new place, babysat every Friday, picked her kid up from daycare every week. Did everything I could to help her. I had a major medical crisis. She disappeared, but called me 6 weeks later to give me an earful about how I'd abandoned her.
Eds 1 year ago
She became one of those people who didn't believe bad things (catcalling, sexual assault, unsafe situations caused by men) happened to women who reported them, because those things didn't happen to her, so they couldn't possibly be happening to other women. Then my area had a natural disaster. Her area had one shortly after of a slightly lesser caliber and suddenly everyone that wasn't reporting on her local disaster was awful and things couldn't possibly be that bad elsewhere. I was just done.
Potato 1 year ago
For context, I'm a 16 year old male. I'm an extrovert who can't stand being alone for more than a day, meaning I tend to be clingy. Anyways, I was dating a pretty popular in 7th grade. My best friend (a girl) didn't know that I was dating someone already and she admitted she liked me, so when I explained to her I was dating someone already, she broke down into tears. The next day I walk into school with everyone staring at me, I shake it off thinking I had bed head or something was in my teeth. I walk into my class and one of my close friends walk up to me and says "Your a jerk." I look at him quizzically and ask "What do you mean?" He says "Layla (not her real name) told everyone that you cheated on your girlfriend with her." I say "that's not true, what the actual f**k?" So now I had basically the entire school and my girlfriend after me. Though it didn't affect me much because it was a while back, I was still pretty shakenen up about it. We're not friends anymore.
walkabout 1 year ago
I met this friend in my high school sophomore year. I was low on the self-esteem scale and very high on the empathy meter. Classic target for bullies. I eventually learned to defend myself at the expense of being “on” all the time, which was draining. We stayed in contact for years even though I realized over time that I meant less to him than I deserved. Then he declined to come to my dead son’s memorial service because he “doesn’t do church.” As if we would use the moment to recruit him into Christianity. Buh-bye Gary.
Shellita 1 year ago
My story is when my supposed bff f****d two of my men ( two different occasions, not a threesome).
Diolla 1 year ago
Just curious, how many men do you have? Not judging :-D On a side note, I once found out a guy I was doing, also did one of my friends, but he played both of us. When we found out we teamed up against him LOL. More fish in the sea, guys aplenty!
Load More Replies... Dizzie D 1 year ago
I had a friend who always expected me to drive to see her when we went to different colleges across the country and catch up. It was okay to begin with as I enjoyed the travel and the good times we had. Slowly over the years though I realised that she never came to see me. I made all the effort, constantly. One day, I just couldn't be bothered anymore and she pestered me for months about our 'friendship' and why I was not coming to see her. So she couldn't even step up then when she knew the problem. Sad end but friendships are a two way street. Same as relationships, they fizzle out if only one person does all the work to maintain it.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I went into a horrible depression and had to be hospitalized and she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore bc she had "enough crazy in my life."
The Blinking Duck 1 year ago (edited)
After my husband became ill, we were VERY shocked at the amount of people who won't speak to us anymore. No phone calls or messages just to ask how he's doing...........nothing
Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago
I'm so sorry. I heard a few psychologists talk about this--they provided two reasons. Those people might not know how to talk to you about it; they might also not be capable of caring for anyone but themselves. The ones who are with you now, those are the keepers.
Load More Replies... Diolla 1 year ago (edited)
TL;DR: Her ex beat me up and she blamed me for it. She had a very bad relationship (they used to physically attack each other) and finally broke up with her BF. I'd been telling her to leave this **hole for a while, she knew I didn't like him AT ALL. We met him in town and she started to nag and challenge him. I told het to stop it because he was getting worked up. She didn't stop. He physically attacked her. I interfered to protect her (he is much bigger than she is). He beat me up instead, I lost one of my front teeth. I reported the whole thing to the police. Did not hear from her for several days, no call to ask me how I was doing or anything. When I finally talked with her she told me that I must have been involved with her ex BF because why else would he beat me instead of her? WTF. I get beaten up because of YOU and you blame ME. End of friendship.
Jackie Lulu 1 year ago
I had a best friend, my maid of honor. We were close and more than once , she had words that helped me straighten out my life. As time went on, I noticed that she complained all the time about other people, was rude to our other friends. She got angry at someone for inviting her to a party. She called her minister a FA to another parishioner. Things like that. She also did nice things for others, and that kind of kept me off balance. I started to wonder what she was saying about me. I took a train to visit her. Our visit went well until, she suddenly ran cold, was rude and impatient with me, and would not explain why. It turned out to be an awful visit and I couldn't wait to get home. At this point, I remembered, what they do to others, they'll do to you. That week I got an email from her, telling me all the things I did wrong during our visit. Honestly, I had no clue that what I did was offensive.
Jackie Lulu 1 year ago
Have to finish here. That week I got an email from her, telling me all the things I did wrong during our visit. Honestly, I had no clue that what I did was offensive. This is what I did: Forced her to talk about marrying her boyfriend, and asked her to drop me off at the train station. I probably did other things too! This was very upsetting to me. I hate losing friends, but I realized that I want, and need, better friends than this. I wrote back telling her, as nice as possible, what I thought of her behavior, and ended the relationship.
Load More Replies... Leonie Köhler 1 year ago
I had this friend who i thought was my best friend until I repeated a class. She became all b****y, while i tried to be nice to her. She called me stupid, i just want to say that her Grades where always bad and her Graduation is the lowest you can get in my country. Then i got a new haircut and she talked behind my back with another girl, and i just know if that girl had the exact haircut like me she would love it. And then i blocked her, not only her but anyone from my old class
The_Canadian_Zebra 1 year ago
I've had two really good friends who suddenly stopped talking to me. One moved away after covid but the other is still in my class. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem but like I don't know what I could have done for them to just stop talking to me.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
He wouldn't stop trying to get into my pants after being repeatedly told no. When I still wouldn't sleep with him he decided it would be a good idea to neg me. Shockingly, he still didn't get to sleep with me. He got cut off, permanently.
pineapple87 1 year ago
A formerly close friend started seeing someone new about 9 months after her divorce, and I didn't see or hear from her for the following 6 months except for when she repeatedly cancelled on me to hang out with her new boyfriend. When I finally did see her, she told me how she had filed a police report about "threatening" behaviour from her ex-husband as a result of some angry text messages from said ex after he found out on social media that she had moved in with her new boyfriend. I saw the texts, there waa nothing bad or any actual threat in them. I didn't particularly like the guy, because he always seemed like a spineless bum to me, but he had exhibited no aggressive or violent behaviour during or after their relationship at any point. I asked her when she told me about the report. And I believe it, he really doesn't seem the type. So, my friend maliciously made up an entirely unfounded story that she fealt threatened by her ex and reported him to the police just to get him to as much trouble as possible. She left him because she was essentially bored of him. And yet she felt that he had no right to express his clearly justified anger at her actions over text. At that point I decided that I had no interest in maintaining a friendship with someone who would do that.
Ronnie Cutshall 1 year ago
After reading all this my wife is not that bad. I take her over any women here.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Part 2. Had one freind I would hang out with. I'd give gas money. I'd pay for us to get into the bar. Then we would go our ways til end of the night. I'd get a ride home. Next time we would hang out I'd get "oh you owe me $x for the last time we went out. I bought you drinks." I'm no idiot. I let it go the first time. Then the third time he pulled it again. I said listen I didn't borrow money off you so it must have been someone else. And I didn't drink. I was on the other end of the room all night. Don't try to get money off me I don't owe you. Even months later if I ran into him he would be like "hey remeber last week we went out an I got you x?" I'd tell him dude I haven't seen you in 4 months so it wasn't me. Still he cons people. Also not friends w anymore.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Friends. Well I kinda have one. And rarely talk or see him. Everyone used me for what I could give them or have me listen to their problems. Or I was the third wheel on their dates because they wanted an excuse to get home. Just randomly slowly stopped bothering to reach out and check on them. They would message when they wanted something but I knew their ways. So I really have one person I rarely talk to and no friends. Doesn't bother me.
Pattie B 1 year ago (edited)
Not exactly my best friend but I was definitely her best friend (or at least the only friend she could keep). I had to drop her when she said she thought all Black men were ugly. In retrospect that was just the cherry on top of years of racist comments, but I didn't clock it for a long time because she was a POC herself.
feminist percussionist 1 year ago
I didn’t have a lot of friends where I used to live, I had like three. But my next door neighbor was my age and she did some pretty s****y things like; Say that the two things I was so excited for but that got canceled due to COVID weren’t important like her mental health camp (literally said that) Dragged me to a neighbor’s house and I was like, I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH DOLLS! And guess what we did? Played with dolls, and got mad when I called them creepy Never wanted to do what I wanted to do Would do her homework *while I was hanging out with her,* because I was responsible and did mine during class instead of afterwards (online school) We fought often about her views on animals :(
Rick Seiden 1 year ago
I had a friend in college ask me to borrow money for rent. I happily lent it to her. She gave me a check to pay it back. I then bounced a check (this was years ago) because her check bounced. She kept saying she would pay it back. I'd have her write me a check, then go try to cash it on her payday, and it would be insufficient funds. She gave me some line about her brother stealing her ATM card. I eventally had her write me a series of $20 checks to cover it, and then went every payday and tried to cash the checks at her bank. At that point I was so tired of her s**t I didn't care if I drained her account. We were very close. I supported her when she was depressed and unsure of herself. I cried with her when her boyfriend took his own life. That's why I offered her the money so quickly and easily. I trusted her and our friendship. I haven't spoken to her since I picked up the set of $20 checks.
George D 1 year ago
Upon reflection, you can surmise the true nature of people most of the time by asking yourself a simple question, "Are they givers or takers?" Most are both in varying degrees but it helps one to recognize those that are takers only and not be blinded by the fact that they're a friend, acquaintance, or even family member. Get those types out of your life asap. There's no changing them.
Kines Tezja 1 year ago (edited)
I guess it was in primary school when my "best friend" started to hang out with other girl in our class and avoiding me at the same time. I've had enough at some point (not mentioning I was just hurt) and asked "who is your best friend, me or she?" And she looked at the other girl with a weird smile and said "I guess she". Later she was my "best friend" again and the situation repeated 2 or 3 times until I was older and understood it's not worth it.
Dragon girl 1 year ago
I have been dating this guy for over 3 years, and there have been so many red flags, but I really wanted to make this relationship work. He has been staying at my home helping me take care of my mom, who has been ill for several months now. He was supposed to go back his home where he was living with his ex and thier 2 kids over the weekend. Well, my mom said she wanted him to go from Friday and return Monday, and he got all pouty about because HE wanted to go Saturday and come back Sunday. I then realized I had to end this relationship when he had an attitude towards my mom, then telling me I over complicate things as I'm trying to figure out a problem with the computer. It just really sunk in that he is a bully who is prone to violence, a user, abusive, has no drive, and will most likely never stop using and selling dope. He is trying to make me the bad guy because his ex won't let him stay there, and I will not let him come back to my place. He says he has supported me when i need him, but I'm MIA when he needs me for his "crisis". It's not like he didn't know this was coming and he had to find his own place, but yet I'm the A-hole. I can clearly see what kind of man he is and I want out.
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