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This Bridesmaid Went Viral On TikTok For Sharing All Of The Ridiculous Expenses She Had To Pay To Be In A Wedding
Being asked to be part of a wedding can be super exciting. One of your closest friends is preparing to spend the rest of their life with someone they love, and you get to be part of the celebration. The only problem with agreeing to be in a wedding party is that it can turn into a massive financial burden. Obvious expenses include the dress or suit needed for the ceremony and whatever travel is required to attend the wedding, but bachelor and bachelorette parties can cost a pretty penny as well.
One bridesmaid, a woman named Erin, recently went viral on TikTok after detailing the expenses she was responsible for to attend a “bachelorette vacation”. Below, you can read Erin’s full story and see how viewers have responded. Let us know in the comments how you feel about the situation and if you’ve ever been asked to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a friend’s wedding. Then if you’re looking for more bridesmaid content, check out this Bored Panda piece next.
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After she was asked to pay hundreds for a “bachelorette vacation”, this bridesmaid turned to TikTok to discuss how costly being in a wedding can be
Image credits: moneytomiles
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: erinconfortini
While the trip was already expensive, the maid of honor even asked the bridesmaids to pay for the bride’s flight and portion of the accommodation
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Erin wondered if this is the norm when it comes to bridesmaid expenses
Image credits: erinconfortini
Image credits: moneytomiles
While this bachelorette vacation may be more expensive than the average party, it’s not uncommon for bridesmaids to be saddled with bills for luxurious weekend trips, expensive dresses and bridal showers. According to Wedding Wire, the average cost of a bridesmaid dress in the United States is $208, and that’s without any alterations. But the dress is only the beginning. Bridesmaids tend to spend around $1,200 on weddings after travel, accommodation, accessories, gifts and more are factored in.
Traditionally, bridesmaids are responsible for their attire, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, their hair and makeup for the ceremony, travel and accommodation for the wedding, and gifts for the wedding and bridal shower. When it comes to the bachelorette party, Brides.com says that “going away for the weekend poses a little more gray area [than one night out]”. “Each attendee should cover the cost of her own travel and accommodations—including the bride.” The general rule of thumb is that the bride pays for everything except “the big night out”, where she is treated to dinner, drinks and whatever else is on the agenda. Sometimes the entire bachelorette party involves no travel and is only the “big night”, but when it’s longer, bridesmaids should not be expected to pay for everything. So you might be wondering if being in a wedding party is even worth it when it can become such a big financial burden? Well, for most bridesmaids it is. Wedding Wire found that 95% of bridesmaids had an enjoyable experience and found the costs worth it to be a part of a loved one’s special day.
While it’s an honor to be part of a friend’s wedding day, it’s important to keep in mind what your budget can handle. We all want to support soon-to-be brides and grooms as much as we can, but sometimes a lavish vacation is just not feasible. Be sure expectations are discussed before agreeing to join a wedding party. Erin’s TikTok received thousands of comments discussing what is appropriate to ask of bridesmaids, but we’d love to hear your thoughts below as well. How much do you think is reasonable for the bridal party to cover in situations like this?
Many viewers agreed that these fees are excessive, saying that the bride could have paid for more
While not everyone is on the same page about who should pay for what, it’s clear that communication is crucial when it comes to wedding expenses
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What do you think ?
troufaki13 3 years ago
How did bachelor parties go from one night out with the boys/girls to one week vacation, sometimes even abroad? 🤔🤔🤔
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
What the hell. I'm sorry but I think so many weddings, bachelorette/bachelor parties and bridal showers are just getting ridiculous. And what's worse is expecting the bridal party to cough up the money. I even think asking the bridal party to pay for their own dresses/outfits is rude. The ONLY thing I asked my bridesmaids to pay for is their own lunch (approx $25) at a pub for my bachelorette lunch. I paid for everything else, oh except my maid of honours hair, but that was her choice. I only wanted my bridal party to straighten their hair, which could have been done herself. I paid for the outfits, shoes, make up etc.
Memere 3 years ago
Same here! I have no idea when expecting the bridal party to pay for everything started, but I'm definitely against it. Everything the bride wants should be paid for by the bride. Especially these "Bachelorette Trips" when everyone involved has to give up their vacation time, etc.
Load More Replies...
Shelli Aderman 3 years ago
Um, NO. Bride wants a fancy thing and wants everyone there? BRIDE PAYS FOR IT. Done. End of story. Asking other to pay for you is NOT OK!
Kris DeRhodes 3 years ago (edited)
I don't want to put the blame on this particular bride though like she paid her share and then the MoH decided to butt in and change the game on everyone. The MoH telling the other girl to send the bride her money back and have the other girls cover her seems pushy and out of line since clearly they hadn't discussed it in previous plans. The bride should have stepped up and said she was fine paying for herself though as it was a trip for all of them and expenses add up quickly.
Load More Replies...
Jiska Veldhuizen 3 years ago
Thank god this isn't a thing in my country! I would absolutely refuse to pay that much money to celebrate a *stupid* Bachelorette party.. they're so overrated and just for show off.
the Kat who says ni 3 years ago
For my bachelorette party we went to the Efteling theme park and dinner :D. My friends paid for me and I had such a great day! But that's doable I think...
Load More Replies...
Philenzortia 3 years ago
I don’t understand why she just says no in the group in front the other 9 other girls. Each one pays for their own stuff it is just a wedding…. If she can’t talk about the uncomfortable things like money in front of her group of friends she has to reconsider some of her life choices….
ShareMusic 3 years ago
Bride and groom (and parents if they're willing and capable) should finance their own wedding and all expenses. And scale their expectations to their budget. And everyone else should help out by setting firm boundaries and saying, "no." There would be far fewer problems if everything was scaled back in budget, expectations, and entitlement. And liquor.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Aaaaaand this is why I always decline when friends ask me to be a part of their weddings. I did it ONCE and it was the biggest headache financially, physically, and emotionally. Did so much running around and I wasn't the one even getting married.
Y D 3 years ago
All this bride-y nonsense smacks of desperation. How many people do you need to celebrate you how many times before you bankrupt everyone to try and fill whatever emptiness consumes you. It's so gross and pathetic. You don't need an elaborate wedding, you need a full-time therapist. Get over yourselves. Truly. I can't imagine how someone is able to delude herself into believing anyone gives this much of a sh about a single event in her life. Graduate from somewhere, adopt something, then throw yourself a party. Y'know, for a cause worthwhile that other people actually care about.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I don't get it. I have been in several weddings and I have said no to a few because the expenses and expectations were more than I had to give. I don't get what happened to the bachelorette party being a night out on the town with a few friends, dinner and dancing. When did it become week long vacations and everyone pays for the bride? When my brother got married recently, the bridal party went for a spa day followed by dinner and dancing. We all chipped in for the bride's massage, dinner, and drinks at the club. I would not have taken a one week vacation for her. I don't get where this sense of entitlement came from.
troufaki13 3 years ago
How did bachelor parties go from one night out with the boys/girls to one week vacation, sometimes even abroad? 🤔🤔🤔
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
What the hell. I'm sorry but I think so many weddings, bachelorette/bachelor parties and bridal showers are just getting ridiculous. And what's worse is expecting the bridal party to cough up the money. I even think asking the bridal party to pay for their own dresses/outfits is rude. The ONLY thing I asked my bridesmaids to pay for is their own lunch (approx $25) at a pub for my bachelorette lunch. I paid for everything else, oh except my maid of honours hair, but that was her choice. I only wanted my bridal party to straighten their hair, which could have been done herself. I paid for the outfits, shoes, make up etc.
Memere 3 years ago
Same here! I have no idea when expecting the bridal party to pay for everything started, but I'm definitely against it. Everything the bride wants should be paid for by the bride. Especially these "Bachelorette Trips" when everyone involved has to give up their vacation time, etc.
Load More Replies... Shelli Aderman 3 years ago
Um, NO. Bride wants a fancy thing and wants everyone there? BRIDE PAYS FOR IT. Done. End of story. Asking other to pay for you is NOT OK!
Kris DeRhodes 3 years ago (edited)
I don't want to put the blame on this particular bride though like she paid her share and then the MoH decided to butt in and change the game on everyone. The MoH telling the other girl to send the bride her money back and have the other girls cover her seems pushy and out of line since clearly they hadn't discussed it in previous plans. The bride should have stepped up and said she was fine paying for herself though as it was a trip for all of them and expenses add up quickly.
Load More Replies... Jiska Veldhuizen 3 years ago
Thank god this isn't a thing in my country! I would absolutely refuse to pay that much money to celebrate a *stupid* Bachelorette party.. they're so overrated and just for show off.
the Kat who says ni 3 years ago
For my bachelorette party we went to the Efteling theme park and dinner :D. My friends paid for me and I had such a great day! But that's doable I think...
Load More Replies... Philenzortia 3 years ago
I don’t understand why she just says no in the group in front the other 9 other girls. Each one pays for their own stuff it is just a wedding…. If she can’t talk about the uncomfortable things like money in front of her group of friends she has to reconsider some of her life choices….
ShareMusic 3 years ago
Bride and groom (and parents if they're willing and capable) should finance their own wedding and all expenses. And scale their expectations to their budget. And everyone else should help out by setting firm boundaries and saying, "no." There would be far fewer problems if everything was scaled back in budget, expectations, and entitlement. And liquor.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Aaaaaand this is why I always decline when friends ask me to be a part of their weddings. I did it ONCE and it was the biggest headache financially, physically, and emotionally. Did so much running around and I wasn't the one even getting married.
Y D 3 years ago
All this bride-y nonsense smacks of desperation. How many people do you need to celebrate you how many times before you bankrupt everyone to try and fill whatever emptiness consumes you. It's so gross and pathetic. You don't need an elaborate wedding, you need a full-time therapist. Get over yourselves. Truly. I can't imagine how someone is able to delude herself into believing anyone gives this much of a sh about a single event in her life. Graduate from somewhere, adopt something, then throw yourself a party. Y'know, for a cause worthwhile that other people actually care about.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I don't get it. I have been in several weddings and I have said no to a few because the expenses and expectations were more than I had to give. I don't get what happened to the bachelorette party being a night out on the town with a few friends, dinner and dancing. When did it become week long vacations and everyone pays for the bride? When my brother got married recently, the bridal party went for a spa day followed by dinner and dancing. We all chipped in for the bride's massage, dinner, and drinks at the club. I would not have taken a one week vacation for her. I don't get where this sense of entitlement came from.
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