Being asked to be part of a wedding can be super exciting. One of your closest friends is preparing to spend the rest of their life with someone they love, and you get to be part of the celebration. The only problem with agreeing to be in a wedding party is that it can turn into a massive financial burden. Obvious expenses include the dress or suit needed for the ceremony and whatever travel is required to attend the wedding, but bachelor and bachelorette parties can cost a pretty penny as well.

One bridesmaid, a woman named Erin, recently went viral on TikTok after detailing the expenses she was responsible for to attend a “bachelorette vacation”. Below, you can read Erin’s full story and see how viewers have responded. Let us know in the comments how you feel about the situation and if you’ve ever been asked to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a friend’s wedding. Then if you’re looking for more bridesmaid content, check out this Bored Panda piece next.

After she was asked to pay hundreds for a “bachelorette vacation”, this bridesmaid turned to TikTok to discuss how costly being in a wedding can be

Image credits: moneytomiles

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: erinconfortini

While the trip was already expensive, the maid of honor even asked the bridesmaids to pay for the bride’s flight and portion of the accommodation

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Erin wondered if this is the norm when it comes to bridesmaid expenses

Image credits: erinconfortini

Image credits: moneytomiles

While this bachelorette vacation may be more expensive than the average party, it’s not uncommon for bridesmaids to be saddled with bills for luxurious weekend trips, expensive dresses and bridal showers. According to Wedding Wire, the average cost of a bridesmaid dress in the United States is $208, and that’s without any alterations. But the dress is only the beginning. Bridesmaids tend to spend around $1,200 on weddings after travel, accommodation, accessories, gifts and more are factored in. 

Traditionally, bridesmaids are responsible for their attire, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, their hair and makeup for the ceremony, travel and accommodation for the wedding, and gifts for the wedding and bridal shower. When it comes to the bachelorette party, Brides.com says that “going away for the weekend poses a little more gray area [than one night out]”. “Each attendee should cover the cost of her own travel and accommodations—including the bride.” The general rule of thumb is that the bride pays for everything except “the big night out”, where she is treated to dinner, drinks and whatever else is on the agenda. Sometimes the entire bachelorette party involves no travel and is only the “big night”, but when it’s longer, bridesmaids should not be expected to pay for everything. So you might be wondering if being in a wedding party is even worth it when it can become such a big financial burden? Well, for most bridesmaids it is. Wedding Wire found that 95% of bridesmaids had an enjoyable experience and found the costs worth it to be a part of a loved one’s special day. 

While it’s an honor to be part of a friend’s wedding day, it’s important to keep in mind what your budget can handle. We all want to support soon-to-be brides and grooms as much as we can, but sometimes a lavish vacation is just not feasible. Be sure expectations are discussed before agreeing to join a wedding party. Erin’s TikTok received thousands of comments discussing what is appropriate to ask of bridesmaids, but we’d love to hear your thoughts below as well. How much do you think is reasonable for the bridal party to cover in situations like this? 

Many viewers agreed that these fees are excessive, saying that the bride could have paid for more

While not everyone is on the same page about who should pay for what, it’s clear that communication is crucial when it comes to wedding expenses

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