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Pregnant Woman Faces Family Pressure To Give Up Her Baby To Her Infertile ‘Godly’ Cousin
Family conflicts are normal. But when the bad blood begins to run deep, it could cause a severe strain in the relationships. Reddit user ITZEVERLYBEAR is currently dealing with this stressful situation as she also goes through her eighth month of pregnancy.
According to our original poster (OP), her aunt wants her to give up her baby to her infertile cousin. And she has been constantly harassed for not wanting to do so.
The OP now seeks support and advice from the Raised By Narcissists subreddit.
RELATED:
Many people have relatives who are difficult to deal with
Image credits: kryzhov / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
A pregnant woman is being coerced by her aunt to give up her firstborn child to her infertile cousin
Image credits: voronaman111 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
She has distanced herself from her aunt, but wants some advice and support from people online
Image credits: ITZEVERLYBEAR
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envatolements (not the actual photo)
The woman also got in touch with the local church leader, who advised they undergo family counseling
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envatolements (not the actual photo)
She reached out to her cousin, but does not expect their relationship to be the same again
Image credits: ITZEVERLYBEAR
There is such a thing as genetic relational entitlement
Image credits: Pressmaster / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Based on the OP’s story, her aunt seemingly felt she had the right to her niece’s unborn daughter. Experts classify this behavior as a genetic relational entitlement.
According to trauma psychotherapist Amanda Ann Gregory, LCPC, people take advantage of blood relations by either believing they are owed a relationship or money, time, and communication.
Gregory also says the level of genetic connection and perceived power dynamics can lead to a greater sense of entitlement.
“You may feel more entitled to have a relationship with your sibling than a relationship with a second cousin,” she wrote in an article for Psychology Today. “You may [also] feel more entitled to have a relationship with an adult child (perceived as a past dependent) than having a relationship with a sibling (perceived as an equal).”
People can overcome their entitlement tendencies
Image credits: mstandret / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Entitled people aren’t lost causes, but they will need to do their part to improve things. Former clinical psychologist turned author Dr. Alice Boyes shared some tips in an article she wrote, beginning with what she describes as the practice of perspective-taking.
“Take a recent example of a time you got mildly annoyed with someone and spend three minutes writing about the situation from the other person’s perspective. Practice understanding what their agenda was.”
Lifting someone up is also a small yet effective practice to eliminate entitlement tendencies, according to Dr. Boyes.
“There is an area of social psychology research called capitalization research, which shows that promoting other people’s successes has a positive effect on the sharer,” she explained. “To make a project out of it, try promoting someone else other than yourself at least once a day for 30 days.”
The relationship between the OP and her aunt’s family is fixable if the latter can make an effort to work on themselves. Until then, it will be a lingering issue, which is always unfortunate among families.
Commenters were vocal about their feelings towards the aunt and mostly showed support for the OP
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What do you think ?
Libstak 5 months ago (edited)
That church leader who wants to put her and the aunt and cousin in counselling together has an ulterior motive, the counsellor will document against the pregnant mother and for the cousin at the drop of a dime if it is in the better interests of his community to have the chi,d with the aunt and cousin, HELL NO to any such attempt. They can use their version with CPS against this poor girl and she will be stuck with a qualified counsellors report against her.
Alex 5 months ago
And that's why you stay THE HELL away from organized religions, especially those that believe some guy translated golden plates.
Load More Replies...
BatPhace 5 months ago
If they're so religious why can't they accept "God's will" in the cousin's infertility? Gotta love the hypocrisy of organized religion
Jessica Olson 5 months ago
For LDS they think it's always God's will to have many children. They also "seal" their family in the temple. If the afterlife families that are sealed stay together and As a woman it's your way of earning your privilege to going to the highest level of heaven in that church. So in essence her not being able to have a kid means she can't earn the right to be a goddess in her own little mini verse with her family. 🤷 But yeah this is how stories where somebody cuts a baby out of someone else's womb starts.
Load More Replies...
V 5 months ago
Honestly I feel bad for people with infertility. Until the moment they even think about making it someone's problem. After that, if they still can't have kids they are just getting what they deserve. And this cousin sure as hall does not seem a safe person to raise a healthy human. I wouldn't even trust them with a goldfish. I hope this is clickbait, or op and her family are safe.
Aline 5 months ago
Infertility only means you can't carry a pregnancy to term, it really doesn't keep you from being a parent. If this woman really was stable, she could adopt. She's got nearby family, support of a church, do you know how f****d up she has to be to be denied being a foster parent or adoptive parents without ever having a kid taken off her?
Load More Replies... Libstak 5 months ago (edited)
That church leader who wants to put her and the aunt and cousin in counselling together has an ulterior motive, the counsellor will document against the pregnant mother and for the cousin at the drop of a dime if it is in the better interests of his community to have the chi,d with the aunt and cousin, HELL NO to any such attempt. They can use their version with CPS against this poor girl and she will be stuck with a qualified counsellors report against her.
Alex 5 months ago
And that's why you stay THE HELL away from organized religions, especially those that believe some guy translated golden plates.
Load More Replies... BatPhace 5 months ago
If they're so religious why can't they accept "God's will" in the cousin's infertility? Gotta love the hypocrisy of organized religion
Jessica Olson 5 months ago
For LDS they think it's always God's will to have many children. They also "seal" their family in the temple. If the afterlife families that are sealed stay together and As a woman it's your way of earning your privilege to going to the highest level of heaven in that church. So in essence her not being able to have a kid means she can't earn the right to be a goddess in her own little mini verse with her family. 🤷 But yeah this is how stories where somebody cuts a baby out of someone else's womb starts.
Load More Replies... V 5 months ago
Honestly I feel bad for people with infertility. Until the moment they even think about making it someone's problem. After that, if they still can't have kids they are just getting what they deserve. And this cousin sure as hall does not seem a safe person to raise a healthy human. I wouldn't even trust them with a goldfish. I hope this is clickbait, or op and her family are safe.
Aline 5 months ago
Infertility only means you can't carry a pregnancy to term, it really doesn't keep you from being a parent. If this woman really was stable, she could adopt. She's got nearby family, support of a church, do you know how f****d up she has to be to be denied being a foster parent or adoptive parents without ever having a kid taken off her?
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