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Today, we are going to talk about the three magic words, "I am sorry". That's how easy it is to apologize; wouldn't you think so? Well, apparently not, because people don't always say what they mean, and at times, they twist their words just to escape accountability.

When X (formerly Twitter) user moh__mi asked netizens to "apologize like a man," people couldn't hold back. Well, especially women, as they let out the most ridiculous and hilarious "apologies" that they have received from men, and trust us, almost all of these don't even sound like apologies!

More info: X

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: moh__mi

#3

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Charles McChristy
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6 days ago

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Irene Erikson
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm always amazed at how easily people can use words to avoid responsibility.

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To understand why men refuse to apologize, Bored Panda got in touch with Sri Rajasekar, a marriage coach for women, who mentioned, "The tendency for women to apologize more frequently than men can be viewed through various lenses. While some interpretations suggest it reflects societal power dynamics, it’s essential to consider that both men and women navigate different expectations and pressures in relationships. "

"Cultural norms often encourage women to be more relational and nurturing, which can lead to more frequent apologies. However, men may feel societal pressure to embody strength and assertiveness, which can influence their approach to apologies. This dynamic doesn't solely point to a power imbalance but rather highlights the complexity of gender roles in communication and conflict resolution."

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Rosecat
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2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father found out that my now husband, then boyfriend, and I were sleeping in the same bed; in our own apartment that we were paying for with our own money. He was livid and said he didn't want to see either of us again, that we were dead to him. His "apology"? After days of no contact whatsoever, sending a text asking if my boyfriend and I wanted some of the food he cooked. Important context: my boyfriend and I were sharing a bed but weren't sleeping with each other, because we decided to wait untill marriage for that. Meanwhile: my father got my mother pregnant before marrying her, same as my brother and his wife, my second brother got two women pregnant and only married the second one over a year after the birth of their first kid, my sister got pregnant with her first kid before marriage while still living with our parents... Oh, and our apartment was a one bedroom.

Sri narrated, "Childhood socialization significantly impacts how both boys and girls learn to navigate accountability. Boys may be socialized to prioritize toughness and self-reliance, which can lead to less encouragement to express remorse openly. Conversely, girls often receive more social reinforcement for nurturing behaviors, including apologizing."

When speaking about the impacts on men who consistently avoid apologizing or taking accountability, Sri noted that it can lead to unresolved conflicts, eroded trust, and strained relationships. He also stressed that avoiding accountability can hinder personal growth and self-reflection, leading to patterns of defensiveness. 

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Lauren Burwash
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6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I HATE this one.. in my opinion, it's a catch-all to minimize any crappy behavior and a back-handed way to insinuate that the other person "expects" perfection and is obviously the unreasonable one.

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Sri also pointed out that men and women may perceive apologies differently and be influenced by societal norms. For some men, he added, apologizing can be seen as a sign of vulnerability, which might be interpreted as weakness in certain contexts.

According to Sri, this perception can be tied to traditional notions of masculinity, where pride and ego play significant roles. This does throw a light on why some men would rather deviate from the conflict rather than apologize.

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Deborah B
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1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This could be an expression of sympathy. It becomes a problematic non-apology if he did something to cause the sadness.

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Red PANda (she/they/he/ze)
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1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because you had good intentions doesn’t diminish how much it hurt. This might be more acceptable if it was followed by an “I’m sorry.”

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Throughout the interview, Sri stressed how important it is to recognize that many men value accountability and see the importance of apologies in maintaining healthy relationships. He also explained that many families and cultures encourage all children to value honesty and accountability equally. 

"Avoiding apologies is not an inherent trait of all men; many actively engage in accountability and see positive outcomes in their relationships. Overall, the effects depend significantly on individual choices and the dynamics of specific relationships," he concluded.

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Our expert definitely gave us something to think about when it comes to apologizing, whether you are a man or a woman. Well, that's it from our end - now we hand over the platform to you as we want to hear your thoughts about the matter.

As you scroll down and enjoy the rest of the list, don't hesitate to jot down your personal experiences in the comments about receiving apologies from men. We would be delighted to hear from you!

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Jonas Fisher
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1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it that both this one about talking on the phone, and the one about wanting to talk face-to-face are both on this list? Kind of sounds like a guy can't win no matter what.

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