Yup. I feel sorry for the horse back there that got dumped.

That took me a minute, but then LOL

Who CHOOSES those???

Lol y’all must have dirty minds. I don’t get it. Is it just about the horse or am I missing something?? Lol

They're just horsing around.

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Judgment free zone.

I feel the same way. Totally cool with those that practice it but just not for me

Hmmm, I'm struggling to see the difference, doesn't it eventually lead to the same place?

absolutely this.

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Polyam is probably worse, but participants of both likely need therapy to see why they need so much attention from others/so much sex outside of a relationship.

Not true at all. It's more common in queer, leftist and neurodivergent spaces but a lot of people are happy in polyamorous relationships and couldn't be monogamous if they wanted to. I myself just recently ended things with my boyfriend (not over polyamory - his mental health just wasn't in a good enough place for dating and it was mutual) with whom I had an open relationship and we had no problems with it. I myself didn't end up seeing anyone else while we were dating, but I liked the freedom I had to explore things if I wanted to. I have no idea if he saw anyone else, and I don't care at all. It didn't affect the way he treated me, if he was, and I have no interest in denying my partner something that makes them happy.

So far poly with the hubby and going strong since 2007. Have had other partners off and on. Tbh, I love sharing my partner and get a swell of pride in it. I play wingman and I am excited to know he gets things from other people that I can't provide. It actually takes weight off my shoulders. I think one has to be careful, though.

You say that like monogamous relationships never experience jealousy. Yes, there can be jealously in open relationships, just like in ANY relationship. You can overcome this with honest communication and boundaries.

That’s a strong statement and I would disagree. Open relationships can make a bond stronger. I see it most successful with couples that have been together a very long time. It’s human nature to always wonder what’s on the other side of the fence. So, some people choose to explore and it helps them realize that what is on their side of the fence is much better than a passing fancy. If someone is able to steal you or your partner away, how strong was your bond to begin with, then? However, every couple is different and has the right to decide what is best for them.

Seeing actual studies would be facinating if there were any but I do know several long term open or poly and open relationships. I think it's a spectrum where some people are intrinsically monogamous and some people are intrinsically non-monogamous and some are somewhere in the middle. Open relationships can get a bad rap because there are a lot of instances where a monogamous couple is likely at the end of their relationship but decides to open the relationship which inevitably implodes because it doesn't address the real issues. I mean it works for some but divorce lawyers have a joke that goes "marriage broke? Just add more people". I'm personally monogamous but non monogamy can and does work for others.

"What happens when sex becomes secondary or tertiary and we need someone to care for us as our health fails slowly over decades" Then you take care of each others like mono partners would. That's what you do when you love someone. Why would it be different?

If your "junk is on fire" you should get tested, as one of your poly partners is infected.

Believe it or not, poly families also aren't built around "scratching that itch." Family is family, wherever you find it. No more or less legit than any other models.

Why not? You get all the perks of a loving relationship and more.

Wish I could upvote this more than just bringing it out of the negative. IDK why someone's downvoting all of this.. You're absolutely right, poly/open is a thing that either works for someone or it doesn't. Apparently right now it's still just a "bucket list thing to try," (🙄) but I hope that someday it will be recognized and respected as a way that some people just are.

If you feel devalued, that is a you problem. Plenty of people find extra value in this.

Cheating is non-consensual. A lot of queer and neurodivergent people are genuinely happy with relationships that openly and consensually involve non-monogamy.

If you're actually interested in learning, even if you don't care to practice, there are books on ethical non-monogamy. Polysecure by Jessica Fern and Rhea Orion's lengthily-titled A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy: Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Marriage have been recommended to me personally. I've started Polysecure; good info so far. Very similar-seeming to how the BDSM community works.

Because, cheaters will typically lie and say they aren't, even when caught in the act. They lie to their partner, often to the one they're cheating with, and sneak around to do it. In open relationships, they usually tell their partner all about it. Everyone knows, and nobody is being hurt by it. At least, in theory.

Shhhhhh!!!! The semantics are important here, calling poly folks cheaters is liable to alert them to the reality that humans have been wildly banging each other outside of monogamy for as long as there have been humans. Don’t you know? The young generation just invented ethical slutting about 10 years ago. It’s a new dawn of responsible open relationships, it’s not called CHEATING!