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Artist With Alzheimer’s Drew Self Portraits For 5 Years Until He Could Barely Remember His Own Face
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Artist With Alzheimer’s Drew Self Portraits For 5 Years Until He Could Barely Remember His Own Face

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In 1995, U.K.-based American artist William Utermohlen was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. This is a difficult diagnosis and illness for anyone, but before his death in 2007, Utermohlen created a heart-wrenching final series of self-portraits over the stages of Alzheimer’s, which lasted roughly five years. Documenting the gradual decay of his mind, created incredibly stark drawings, which were even displayed to medical students as learning material.

Alzheimer’s symptoms not only include memory loss or dementia and personality changes but also affects the part of the brain, which is responsible for visualizing capabilities, so crucial for a painter. With Alzheimer’s progressing, the art becomes visibly more abstract, blurrier and vague, due to the loss of the aforementioned capabilities.

An essay by the artist’s widow Patricia explains exactly why these images are so powerful; “In these pictures we see with heart-breaking intensity William’s efforts to explain his altered self, his fears, and his sadness.” It’s hard to say whether the changes in his portraits came about due to the loss of his artistic skills or due to changes in his psyche but, in either case, they document the emotional turmoil of an artist watching his mind slip away from him bit by bit.

More info: williamutermohlen.org | newstatesman.com | nytimes.com (h/t: reddit)

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    Dovas

    Dovas

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    There is a beast with heart of cold stone that dashes like lightning, shreds flesh from bone. // Bewitched by this beast, I fell to my knees. My mouth babbled madness and mumbled soft pleas. // I stared down the ravenous, gnashing dark maw of a cute cuddly kitten with yarn in its paw

    Read less »
    Dovas

    Dovas

    Author, Community member

    There is a beast with heart of cold stone that dashes like lightning, shreds flesh from bone. // Bewitched by this beast, I fell to my knees. My mouth babbled madness and mumbled soft pleas. // I stared down the ravenous, gnashing dark maw of a cute cuddly kitten with yarn in its paw

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    JudithCarr
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the mind is a terrible thing to go to waste. Let's just Pray that they find a cure for this horrific disease soon.

    Laura Woods
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed Carl typing "thoughts and prayers" is the new "I dont want talk about it, I just want it to go away" in combo with "look at me caring about something" It's almost like people just cut and paste the s**t on every post as a default. News Flash: we need more research and funding and caregiver support. Try supporting that instead of typing that you'll pray about it.

    Load More Replies...
    DonnaColee
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe this is a man with awesome skills who was locked inside his own mind & he was painting the cobwebs of his mind from his heart!

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    William Utermohlen's story should be told in a movie. His art speaks volumes about his confusion and fear as the disease progressed.

    Mary Lehman
    Community Member
    8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the most powerful artistic interpretation of this awful disease.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    …The clown-style self-portrait is the one I find the most moving and the most disturbing. His terror at what's happening to him is tangible.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last portrait is frighteningly lacking in expression. But it is still a human face. His art speaks volumes about his fear and confusion.

    JackieMannix
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that me so sad! he did hAve where with halls for years! he is an artist .

    CynthiaMcClellan
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, my heart has broken, anew. This ugly disease took my dad in February 2015.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's one very scary self-portrait not shown here. He shows his face as a terrified clown face trapped in a frame. A clown; an "old fool".

    Jane Gee
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last portrait is the saddest. He knows, yet he doesn't know.

    Leslie Pettite
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband who had been diagnosed with Dementia for 2 years at the age of 62 had all his symptoms reversed with Ayurveda medicine from naturalherbscentre. com after undergoing their Dementia natural protocol, he’s now able to comprehend what is seen. God Bless all Dementia disease Caregivers. Stay Strong, take small moments throughout the day to thank yourself, to love your self, and pray to whatever faith, star, spiritual force you believe in and ask for strength. I can personally vouch for these remedy but you would probably need to decide what works best for you💜.

    David Wisner
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped most of my Parkinson’s disease medications due to severe side effects and I started on herbal treatments from Natural Herbs Centre (naturalherbscentre. com), the treatment has made a very huge difference for me. My symptoms including body weakness and Swallowing difficulties disappeared after few months on the treatment. I am getting active again since starting this treatment.

    Catherine Roberta
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was diagnosed of Parkinson’s disease. After years on medications, symptoms worsened with tremors on my right hand, numbness and tingling, muscle weakness and loss of speech. Fortunately last year, i learnt about Health Herbs Clinic and their Parkinson’s disease alternative treatment ( healthherbsclinic . com ), the Parkinson’s disease treatment made a great difference, most of my symptoms including tremors, weakness and others gradually disappeared. I improved greatly over the 6 months treatment, it’s been a years since the treatment, i have no symptoms. I have a very good quality of life and a supportive family!

    Sakina Axelord
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband first experienced confusion and loss of memory in March of 2000 while undergoing rehab for alcoholism. Being home seemed to help him until 2006 when he gradually began experiencing Alzheimer’s symptoms. He had four to five hours a day where he wants to get a "greyhound" to "go home." Also, he thinks I am his sister and believes he has rented a car (he hasn't driven in five to 10 years). His personal hygiene was in the tank — it was necessary for him to change two to three times a day. Without long-term insurance for his care, it was becoming stressful to care from him. this year our family doctor introduced and started him on Healthherbsclinic Alzheimer’s Disease Herbal Tincture, 6 months into treatment he improved dramatically. At the end of the full treatment course, the disease is totally under control. No case of Alzheimer’s, hallucination, forgetfulness, and other he’s strong again and able to go about daily activities. visit their official website, www. healthherbscli

    Aiyana Dyani
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started on COPD Herbal treatment from Ultimate Life Clinic, the treatment worked incredibly for my lungs condition. I used the herbal treatment for almost 4 months, it reversed my COPD. My severe shortness of breath, dry cough, chest tightness gradually disappeared. Reach Ultimate Life Clinic via their website at www.ultimatelifeclinic.com . I can breathe much better and It feels comfortable!

    Richard Schnadig
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sad. Not waiting for a cure. Trying to understand the science related to metal toxicity diet and lifestyle

    Carol Nielsen
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have just lost my beloved husband to this disease. I am devastated but could not have wished him to remain for another moment.

    Sue Diyg
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a lifelong visual artist whose mother died with Alzheimer's, & who has been a care provider for others with dementia & Alzheimer's, I find this series of self-portraits fascinating. Rather than focusing on the decline of his draftsmanship abilities (capability of rendering things representationally), I find myself fascinated by the emergence of such raw emotion in each succeeding piece. In my experience, cognitive function declines well before emotional receptivity...& I see the pain of his struggle to hold on to his sense of self. I'm reminded of the David Bowie song, "Space Oddity." This artist chronicled his mind's journey to the end...& that is a victory in & of itself. Bravo...

    Stella Komlosi
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... WHEN THE ' SELF ' DISAPPEAR ... ! ☺ .... he never was himself in his Whole LIFE ! ... NOVA* https://www.facebook.com/OMNIPOTENCEbyNOVA/

    Peter Thomas
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brutal and haunting. Microdosing with mushrooms and Cannabis together might help rebuild new fresh neural pathways to out-manouvre the neural plaque blockages, but I don't know... I have read one neuroscientist saying it would only make things worse, but he hadn't researched it in real life, either. Please look into molasses, coconut oil, and bith music therapy and art therapy....for complex brain benefits mainstream medicine is not generally aware of.

    Linda Marie
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that is what he saw looking in a mirror ..Mom looked in Mirror and would say ..That is not me ..What is going on That is not me ..

    Finlay Cedar
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so many,. This thing happened to him in very crucial stage of our life. PM if someone needs info or buy direct from them https://totalcureherbalfou5.wixsite.com/herbal/contact they cured 100% of Alzheimer with their herbal formula .

    Anthony Cardoz
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom lives with me and has an Alzheimer’s disease for about 9 years now. Her body is healthy but she has almost no speech, is pretty much always confused, sleeps most of the day away, is incontinent and requires constant care. The saving grace in all this is that her personality has not changed. She does get frustrated but mostly she has stayed her own sweet self. It is exhausting caring for her and working, and expensive but necessary to have help. I’m trying to keep her at home but I don’t know how long this will go on and her needs are increasing almost daily. She will be 90 in a few she was adjusting to the medications Donepezil (Aricept), but they make her feel sick also. she had problems recognizing other family members and friends. or getting dressed..When the medication no longer helps, i searched for alternative treatment and i was introduced to Health herbal doctor who have successful herbal treatment to Alzheimer’s disease. I spoke to few people who used the treatment here

    paige steven
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom lives with me and has an Alzheimer's disease for about 8 years now. Her body is healthy but she has almost no speech, is pretty much always confused, sleeps most of the day away, is incontinent and requires constant care. The saving grace in all this is that her personality has not changed. She does get frustrated but mostly she has stayed her own sweet self. It is exhausting caring for her and working, and expensive but necessary to have help. I'm trying to keep her at home but I don't know how long this will go on and her needs are increasing almost daily. She will be 90 in a few she was adjusting to the medications Donepezil (Aricept), but they make her feel sick also. she had problems recognizing other family members and friends. or getting dressed..When the medication no longer helps, i searched for alternative treatment and i was introduced to Health herbal clinic who have successful herbal treatment disease. I spoke to few people who used the treatment here in United Sta

    pmcmullen
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have guessed this order: '67, 96a, 97a, 97b, 98a, 98b, 96b, 99, 00

    PenniMarlow
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am an Artist. this goes to show ..you dont paint with your head.......you paint with your HEART!!!...LOVE IT

    David Scott
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree completely - surely these paintings show that you do paint with your head,because as we can see he could not imagine his own face

    Load More Replies...
    JudithCarr
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the mind is a terrible thing to go to waste. Let's just Pray that they find a cure for this horrific disease soon.

    Laura Woods
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed Carl typing "thoughts and prayers" is the new "I dont want talk about it, I just want it to go away" in combo with "look at me caring about something" It's almost like people just cut and paste the s**t on every post as a default. News Flash: we need more research and funding and caregiver support. Try supporting that instead of typing that you'll pray about it.

    Load More Replies...
    DonnaColee
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe this is a man with awesome skills who was locked inside his own mind & he was painting the cobwebs of his mind from his heart!

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    William Utermohlen's story should be told in a movie. His art speaks volumes about his confusion and fear as the disease progressed.

    Mary Lehman
    Community Member
    8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the most powerful artistic interpretation of this awful disease.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    …The clown-style self-portrait is the one I find the most moving and the most disturbing. His terror at what's happening to him is tangible.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last portrait is frighteningly lacking in expression. But it is still a human face. His art speaks volumes about his fear and confusion.

    JackieMannix
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that me so sad! he did hAve where with halls for years! he is an artist .

    CynthiaMcClellan
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, my heart has broken, anew. This ugly disease took my dad in February 2015.

    SaraRussell
    Community Member
    9 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's one very scary self-portrait not shown here. He shows his face as a terrified clown face trapped in a frame. A clown; an "old fool".

    Jane Gee
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last portrait is the saddest. He knows, yet he doesn't know.

    Leslie Pettite
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband who had been diagnosed with Dementia for 2 years at the age of 62 had all his symptoms reversed with Ayurveda medicine from naturalherbscentre. com after undergoing their Dementia natural protocol, he’s now able to comprehend what is seen. God Bless all Dementia disease Caregivers. Stay Strong, take small moments throughout the day to thank yourself, to love your self, and pray to whatever faith, star, spiritual force you believe in and ask for strength. I can personally vouch for these remedy but you would probably need to decide what works best for you💜.

    David Wisner
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped most of my Parkinson’s disease medications due to severe side effects and I started on herbal treatments from Natural Herbs Centre (naturalherbscentre. com), the treatment has made a very huge difference for me. My symptoms including body weakness and Swallowing difficulties disappeared after few months on the treatment. I am getting active again since starting this treatment.

    Catherine Roberta
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was diagnosed of Parkinson’s disease. After years on medications, symptoms worsened with tremors on my right hand, numbness and tingling, muscle weakness and loss of speech. Fortunately last year, i learnt about Health Herbs Clinic and their Parkinson’s disease alternative treatment ( healthherbsclinic . com ), the Parkinson’s disease treatment made a great difference, most of my symptoms including tremors, weakness and others gradually disappeared. I improved greatly over the 6 months treatment, it’s been a years since the treatment, i have no symptoms. I have a very good quality of life and a supportive family!

    Sakina Axelord
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband first experienced confusion and loss of memory in March of 2000 while undergoing rehab for alcoholism. Being home seemed to help him until 2006 when he gradually began experiencing Alzheimer’s symptoms. He had four to five hours a day where he wants to get a "greyhound" to "go home." Also, he thinks I am his sister and believes he has rented a car (he hasn't driven in five to 10 years). His personal hygiene was in the tank — it was necessary for him to change two to three times a day. Without long-term insurance for his care, it was becoming stressful to care from him. this year our family doctor introduced and started him on Healthherbsclinic Alzheimer’s Disease Herbal Tincture, 6 months into treatment he improved dramatically. At the end of the full treatment course, the disease is totally under control. No case of Alzheimer’s, hallucination, forgetfulness, and other he’s strong again and able to go about daily activities. visit their official website, www. healthherbscli

    Aiyana Dyani
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started on COPD Herbal treatment from Ultimate Life Clinic, the treatment worked incredibly for my lungs condition. I used the herbal treatment for almost 4 months, it reversed my COPD. My severe shortness of breath, dry cough, chest tightness gradually disappeared. Reach Ultimate Life Clinic via their website at www.ultimatelifeclinic.com . I can breathe much better and It feels comfortable!

    Richard Schnadig
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sad. Not waiting for a cure. Trying to understand the science related to metal toxicity diet and lifestyle

    Carol Nielsen
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have just lost my beloved husband to this disease. I am devastated but could not have wished him to remain for another moment.

    Sue Diyg
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a lifelong visual artist whose mother died with Alzheimer's, & who has been a care provider for others with dementia & Alzheimer's, I find this series of self-portraits fascinating. Rather than focusing on the decline of his draftsmanship abilities (capability of rendering things representationally), I find myself fascinated by the emergence of such raw emotion in each succeeding piece. In my experience, cognitive function declines well before emotional receptivity...& I see the pain of his struggle to hold on to his sense of self. I'm reminded of the David Bowie song, "Space Oddity." This artist chronicled his mind's journey to the end...& that is a victory in & of itself. Bravo...

    Stella Komlosi
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... WHEN THE ' SELF ' DISAPPEAR ... ! ☺ .... he never was himself in his Whole LIFE ! ... NOVA* https://www.facebook.com/OMNIPOTENCEbyNOVA/

    Peter Thomas
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brutal and haunting. Microdosing with mushrooms and Cannabis together might help rebuild new fresh neural pathways to out-manouvre the neural plaque blockages, but I don't know... I have read one neuroscientist saying it would only make things worse, but he hadn't researched it in real life, either. Please look into molasses, coconut oil, and bith music therapy and art therapy....for complex brain benefits mainstream medicine is not generally aware of.

    Linda Marie
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that is what he saw looking in a mirror ..Mom looked in Mirror and would say ..That is not me ..What is going on That is not me ..

    Finlay Cedar
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so many,. This thing happened to him in very crucial stage of our life. PM if someone needs info or buy direct from them https://totalcureherbalfou5.wixsite.com/herbal/contact they cured 100% of Alzheimer with their herbal formula .

    Anthony Cardoz
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom lives with me and has an Alzheimer’s disease for about 9 years now. Her body is healthy but she has almost no speech, is pretty much always confused, sleeps most of the day away, is incontinent and requires constant care. The saving grace in all this is that her personality has not changed. She does get frustrated but mostly she has stayed her own sweet self. It is exhausting caring for her and working, and expensive but necessary to have help. I’m trying to keep her at home but I don’t know how long this will go on and her needs are increasing almost daily. She will be 90 in a few she was adjusting to the medications Donepezil (Aricept), but they make her feel sick also. she had problems recognizing other family members and friends. or getting dressed..When the medication no longer helps, i searched for alternative treatment and i was introduced to Health herbal doctor who have successful herbal treatment to Alzheimer’s disease. I spoke to few people who used the treatment here

    paige steven
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom lives with me and has an Alzheimer's disease for about 8 years now. Her body is healthy but she has almost no speech, is pretty much always confused, sleeps most of the day away, is incontinent and requires constant care. The saving grace in all this is that her personality has not changed. She does get frustrated but mostly she has stayed her own sweet self. It is exhausting caring for her and working, and expensive but necessary to have help. I'm trying to keep her at home but I don't know how long this will go on and her needs are increasing almost daily. She will be 90 in a few she was adjusting to the medications Donepezil (Aricept), but they make her feel sick also. she had problems recognizing other family members and friends. or getting dressed..When the medication no longer helps, i searched for alternative treatment and i was introduced to Health herbal clinic who have successful herbal treatment disease. I spoke to few people who used the treatment here in United Sta

    pmcmullen
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have guessed this order: '67, 96a, 97a, 97b, 98a, 98b, 96b, 99, 00

    PenniMarlow
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am an Artist. this goes to show ..you dont paint with your head.......you paint with your HEART!!!...LOVE IT

    David Scott
    Community Member
    10 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree completely - surely these paintings show that you do paint with your head,because as we can see he could not imagine his own face

    Load More Replies...
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