People tend to have expectations—whether it’s a book or a party—which makes a wedding no exception. And on this big day, quite a few people might expect to raise a glass.

Such expectations are likely one of the reasons the redditor u/Ok_Cartographer_7439 didn’t receive much support from the AITA community. The bride-to-be asked if she was a jerk for planning a dry wedding but not telling the guests about it, and the internet voted yes. Scroll down for the full story and some of the redditors’ reactions.

Even if just a glass of champagne, alcohol is often expected at weddings

Image credits: IslandHopper X (not the actual photo)

This bride-to-be decided to have a dry wedding but didn’t tell her guests about it

Image credits: not the actual photo

Image credits:Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ok_Cartographer_7439

The majority of people seem to prefer weddings that serve alcohol over dry ones

Unless told otherwise, guests typically expect there to be alcohol when attending a wedding. Not only that, statistics show that that’s what they prefer; a survey of 1000 Americans revealed that 53% of them would rather opt for an alcohol-stocked wedding than a dry one.

But the US is far from the only country where people might want to raise a glass celebrating the union of their loved ones. Countries all over the world have all sorts of alcohol-related wedding customs, whether it’s what one consumes—‘Tears of the Bride’ (Bruidstranen) in the Netherlands, for instance—or how (from a traditional Nuernberg Bridal Cup; in Germany, at least).

With many people expecting to get boozed up at a wedding, it shouldn’t be surprising that the redditors deemed the OP a jerk, but not necessarily for not serving alcohol; some emphasized that it was more about not informing the guests about the couple’s decision.

Image credits: Magda Ehlers (not the actual photo)

If you’re planning on having an alcohol-free wedding, it might be best to say so on the invite

The Knot seconded the idea that if you’re planning on having an alcohol-free wedding, it might be beneficial to make it clear beforehand. Whether that changes people’s views on attending the celebration or not, it helps with setting the right expectations.

“Try phrasing it in an informative and inviting way, such as: ‘We are delighted to share this special day with you and kindly ask that no alcoholic beverages are brought to ensure a safe and enjoyable celebration for all of us,'” the owner of Tinted Events Design and Planning, Jacqueline Vizcaino, shared with The Knot.

Whether it’s a dry wedding or not, bringing your own alcoholic beverages is considered rude, unless that’s what it says on the invite; if you receive one with the abbreviation BYOB—Bring Your Own Bottle/Booze—make sure to stock up. But that wasn’t the case with the OP’s wedding. Moreover, they told the venue that there’s going to be no alcohol, meaning that the happy couple would have to pay up for any ‘illegally’ opened bottles.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

It’s worth keeping in mind that the wedding day should be all about the happy couple

The OP had her reasons for choosing an alcohol-free celebration; and—no matter the reason—a growing number of people seem to be interested in such an option as well. Good Morning America pointed out that the use of the ‘drywedding’ hashtag has been on the rise (with over 3 million views on TikTok) and that, according to the wedding registry website Zola, roughly 4% of happy couples are expected to have a dry wedding in 2023.

Zola’s director of communications, Emily Forrest, told Good Morning America that it’s important to respect the decision of the soon-to-be-wed. “Guests need to keep in mind that the wedding is really about the couple getting married and it’s how they’ve chosen to celebrate their special day. And that may or may not involve alcohol.” Some of the redditors, opposing the majority’s views, expressed a similar sentiment in the comments under the OP’s post.

Bored Panda has reached out to the OP via Reddit and will update the article once we’ve heard back from her.

Image credits: Bashir Olawoyin (not the actual photo)

The redditor provided more information in the comments

Some redditors thought the bride was in the wrong here for one reason or another

A few people emphasized that it’s more about informing the guests rather than serving alcohol itself

Others believed the OP was not a jerk in the situation

Update after reading the comments

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