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Soon-To-Be College Student Wanted To Use Her School Funding To Support Her Toxic BF’s “Dreams”, Mom Refused And It Caused Their Breakup
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It’s a fact that many people struggle with all sorts of issues while being in a relationship. Two people with totally different mindsets, and sometimes even with toxic tendencies, try to make it work, frequently forgetting about their own well-being and getting used to enduring the pain that their partner is bringing onto them. An unhealthy fixation that absolutely blinds a person and restricts them from reaching out for help, resulting in an array of mental health issues and broken souls.
Dealing with such a mess is distressing and painful enough, but what’s more destructive is having to see your child going through this misery. An online user decided to use one of Reddit’s communities to share a story revolving around her daughter and her hell of a boyfriend. The post received over 14K upvotes and nearly 2K comments that reassured the mother that what she did was completely reasonable.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Watching your kid having to deal with a manipulative relationship is soul-crushing
Image credits: M S (not the actual photo)
A woman’s 18-year-old daughter was in a very unhealthy relationship and was often manipulated and shamed. The OP decided to reach out to an online community after she encountered a rather uneasy situation, asking if she was wrong for handling the situation the way she did.
A mother stopped her daughter from spending her college funds on her toxic boyfriend
Image credits: throwae_69
The woman began her story by sharing that her daughter is incredibly smart. She enjoyed school, is the valedictorian of her class, and even received a full scholarship from her dream college.
The funding that the soon-to-be college student received amounted to 250K dollars, however, her parents agreed that they will still give her some money for essential things, such as housing, etc.
Image credits: throwae_69
One day, the OP’s daughter came back home clearly stressed and her mother asked her if anything was wrong. The daughter revealed that her boyfriend supposedly pressured her into not going to college.
The woman then proceeded to give some backstory on Bryan and mentioned that her daughter’s partner comes from a very wealthy family, and is a proud owner of some serious behavioral issues.
Image credits: throwae_69
The daughter’s partner clearly has some unhealthy and toxic tendencies, as it was said that he would often act two-faced and even comment on the OP’s daughter’s appearance. Though Bryan is enrolled in college, he’s not really a responsible guy, whereas the woman’s daughter tends to carefully plan her future and is about to study marine biology.
The OP revealed that during the conversation, her daughter said she had told Bryan how excited she was to finally go to school, though her partner never supported her chosen path and basically instructed her to withdraw the college application.
Image credits: throwae_69
The boyfriend also expressed that it made him feel “unmanly,” since his partner has all her future planed out and weirdly enough even proposed for her to wait for him, as he was not comfortable with the fact that the college is so far away.
The OP’s daughter then asked for her college funding, so she could support Bryan’s dreams (whatever that means). The mother was puzzled, to say the least, however, after a sturdy conversation, the daughter realized the absurdity of the situation and broke it off with her boyfriend.
Image credits: throwae_69
Bored Panda contacted the author and asked her a few questions. The woman revealed that although her daughter didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation she was in before the final argument occurred, she is now fully aware of how unhealthy the whole relationship was.
The OP also addressed everyone who happens to be in a similar manipulative relationship, and advised people to “not make rash decisions, and to talk to your family and friends before taking action. And never be afraid to ask for help.”
Image credits: throwae_69
Moreover, the OP also revealed that since Bryan was so persistent, the family agreed to block him where possible, and even changed their home phone number. However, the ex-boyfriend was full of surprises as he showed up at the daughter’s school together with his presumably equally toxic pals, blocking his ex from getting in her car. The police were called and Bryan even attacked one of the officers, as he refused to leave.
Despite these unfortunate events, the OP assured everyone that her daughter is in good care and is now doing much better, and is very excited to leave for college and focus on the thing that she loves doing the most.
Fellow Redditors supported the OP and praised her for handling the situation so well
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What do you think ?
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Mom might have been responsible for the breakup but that's not a bad thing. At all. I wish someone talked me out of all the stupid things I did when I was 18.
Monca Monika 2 years ago
Responsible for the breakup? What??? She just told her daughter her opinion and asked her to think before she does so important decision. And the girl is truly smart, did the only right thing to do...why giving him her money she could save for "worse" time, while he's so wealthy and can support his dreams himself?
Load More Replies...
Marcellus II 2 years ago
That's the question with every.single.AITA.post.on.BP.
Load More Replies...
Karis Ravenhill 2 years ago (edited)
NTA. Your daughter was being manipulated and controlled, she sounds like a smart girl, but emotions make us stupid when it comes to abusers, and he is an abuser. She was foolish to think she would spend her college funds on Bryan if his family is already well-off, she was foolish to believe Bryan wanted to support her, she was foolish to believe that after she dedicated all her time and money and love to Bryan, he would not dump her one day soon for some other tart he found more attractive. You feel guilt over it, but it doesn't sound like your daughter even holds this against you in any way. She made an escape from this A-hole, she needs to live her life for HER and no one else, even 'the love of her life'. Tell her to go study marine biology, and find a new boyfriend who does not attempt to belittle, put down, control or manipulate her. Hopefully the memory of Bryan will act as a red flag warning system for her in future.
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Mom might have been responsible for the breakup but that's not a bad thing. At all. I wish someone talked me out of all the stupid things I did when I was 18.
Monca Monika 2 years ago
Responsible for the breakup? What??? She just told her daughter her opinion and asked her to think before she does so important decision. And the girl is truly smart, did the only right thing to do...why giving him her money she could save for "worse" time, while he's so wealthy and can support his dreams himself?
Load More Replies... Marcellus II 2 years ago
That's the question with every.single.AITA.post.on.BP.
Load More Replies... Karis Ravenhill 2 years ago (edited)
NTA. Your daughter was being manipulated and controlled, she sounds like a smart girl, but emotions make us stupid when it comes to abusers, and he is an abuser. She was foolish to think she would spend her college funds on Bryan if his family is already well-off, she was foolish to believe Bryan wanted to support her, she was foolish to believe that after she dedicated all her time and money and love to Bryan, he would not dump her one day soon for some other tart he found more attractive. You feel guilt over it, but it doesn't sound like your daughter even holds this against you in any way. She made an escape from this A-hole, she needs to live her life for HER and no one else, even 'the love of her life'. Tell her to go study marine biology, and find a new boyfriend who does not attempt to belittle, put down, control or manipulate her. Hopefully the memory of Bryan will act as a red flag warning system for her in future.
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